Credits and Cover Art

The cover art is a commissioned piece by the exceedingly talented Lauren Wilson. You can find more of Lauren’s stunning artwork at: https://lauren_wilson.artstation.com/. It was while reviewing possible artists for My Soul to Win that I saw Lauren’s page. I was struck by her pieces, Flowers and Moth Queen, and said, “Moth Queen could be Ayidil.” If she’s willing, you’ll see more of her art gracing future covers.

I want to thank my beta readers for this book. Without them, you would find no end of typographical errors and the occasional glaring plot hole. Thank you so much.

Reluctant Host

I first noticed the four women in the market. I’d never seen anyone like them. They were each dressed in colorful, shapely dresses that hugged their bodies while opening for their legs so they could stride with confidence. The colors and shapes varied. One of the women had both shoulders entirely bare. Another’s dress covered her right shoulder but exposed her entire left shoulder. The third and fourth both had sleeves, but with one, the sleeves themselves were open, exposing the woman’s arms, and the sleeves of the other were thin and hid nothing. On their feet, they wore sandals.

But it wasn’t their unusual attire that was most striking. No, not at all. Their skin was the color of coal, absolutely black. I’d seen skin from my own light, but heavily-freckled appearance to a dusty brown, but these four women were absolutely black, and I’d never seen anyone like them.

Their hair was long, at least as long as mine, but they wore it braided, two braids that began over their eyes and followed along the crown of their heads, becoming a long, thick plait. But even that varied from one to the other, with one woman wearing hers straight down the center of her back, two others had her plait offset to the left or right, and the last had woven colorful ribbons into her hair. Straight, black hair was common, far more common than my curly red, but I’d never seen anyone wear her hair quite like these four women did. Oh, braided hair was common, but it was the style of the braids that were different.

I decided I liked it.

I wondered where they were from.

While doing my own shopping, I watched them. I didn’t see them buy anything. Instead, they roamed the market, going from booth to shop to stand. I tried to focus on my shopping, but whenever I caught a glimpse of them, I stopped and stared.

And then they caught me at it. One of them looked straight at me, then she nudged the others, and they all turned to look across the market at me. Embarrassed at being caught staring, I turned away and tried to put the unusual women out of mind.

It was perhaps five minutes later that I was reminded of them.

Surprising me, they suddenly appeared, the four of them, and they surrounded me. I froze, then straightened. I had my assigned purchases in a heavy bag slung over one shoulder, but I looked into the eyes of the woman most directly in front of me. She was the one with one shoulder exposed and the ribbons woven into her hair. This close, she was even more striking than at a distance. I smiled. “The four of you are quite unusual.”

“We come from beyond the Great Eastern Desert,” she said. Her accent was quick thick, her voice low. The combination was as absorbing as her looks. “There, our appearance is most normal, and you would be quite remarkable.” She leaned closer, looking into my eyes. She gestured. “This color is even more remarkable. I have never seen eyes this color.”

“Violet is quite unusual,” I replied. “I have only seen two others with color near mine, and both were far lighter.”

“They are quite piercing,” she said with a smile. “Do they form searchlights in the dark?”

I laughed. “Can you imagine? But at night, no one could see you. You are the one whose eyes should glow. Is your skin why you wear such bright dresses?”

“It is the custom of our birth home.” She held out her hand, offering in the Sargaranese fashion. I gave her mine, an open hand, and we touched for a long moment, my fingers just touching her wrist, hers touching mine. “I am Alyidil.” And then we both withdrew, gently sliding our fingers across the other’s palm, brushing fingers in passing.

“I am Jeraya,” I said. “Could you say your name more slowly?” She did, and I practiced it.

“Just so,” she said.

“You know our customs,” I said.

“We have a similar custom, although quite different at the same time. Would you care to learn it?”

“If it is brief,” I said. “I am due.”

“This is a greeting between women,” she said. “It begins similarly, but the opposite hand.” She offered her left this time. We touched. “And with our right, we touch again, like this.” We didn’t touch hands. She lifted her hand towards my face then hesitated. “It is simple touch.” So I nodded, and she set her fingers against my ear. “In some places, we brush.” And she brushed fingers along the rim of my ear. “I have had my ear held.” And she showed me, only for a moment. “I don’t care for it. This is the custom in my village. Touch me the same.” So I lifted my own hand and lightly pressed against her ear, my wrist just touching her jaw the way she was touching mine.

“Now, this part varies depending upon how well you know the other person. We withdraw our hand, very much in the Sargaranese fashion, but the path you take can be simple or…” She smiled.

“Sensual?” I offered.

“Yes. But we have only just met, Jeraya. And so my fingers will follow my wrist.” And then she did, lightly caressing from ear to the lower part of my jaw before separating. I did the same to her, grinning broadly.

“I like this custom,” I said. “I’m sorry; I must go.” I hefted my bag. “I enjoyed meeting you.” Then I turned and hurried away.

I didn’t realize I was being followed.

* * * *

I next saw them the following evening. Returning from the kitchen with a tray full of bowls for table 23, I saw the four women seated together at 37, the corner table furthest from the kitchen. I delivered everything to 23, collected a little detritus from 34, and then stepped up to 37. “It’s a small world,” I said. “Do you remember me?”

“How could we forget?” said one of them, one of the two with her hair braided off-center. “Can you explain the meals here?”

“Let me drop this off,” I said. “I’ll be right back.” I carried the tray back to the kitchen, leaving the dirty cups in the sink. I washed and dried my hands and then hurried back to 37.

“Your name is Jeraya,” said the one who had spoken before.

“Yes,” I said. “I caught your name yesterday,” I said to Alyidil. Then I stumbled over it, taking two tries to get it right.

She smiled and said, “I know it is unusual.” Then she introduced me to Mayolin, Filfoyss, and Burquiri.

“Maybe another time you can help me pronounce those properly,” I said. “We’re busy tonight, and I’m the only server. Do you know what you would like to drink? We have wine, several styles of beer, mead, cider, and a variety of hard liquors.”

“What is… the third one you mentioned?” Mayolin asked.

I ran through the list in my head. “Ah. Mead. It is fermented from honey. We have two styles. Our black mead is flavored with blackcurrents and is quite sweet. Our metheglin is dry and flavored of vanilla and a hint of cloves.”

“I do not understand. It is to drink, but you said it is dry.”

“Oh. That means it isn’t as sweet,” I said. “I don’t know why they call it dry.”

“It is from honey? It should be sweet.”

“I can’t explain that, either. Wine is made from grapes, but not all wine is sweet.”

“Of course,” she said. “Which do you prefer?”

“It depends on what you have for dinner,” I said. “The stew is especially good tonight, and with that, I prefer the metheglin. It is somewhat heartier. But we also have a lovely braised bluetail, and the black mead is a better choice.”

“Bluetail?”

“A type of fish.”

“Ah,” she said.

“I could bring a glass of each for you to try them,” I said.

“Yes,” Alyidil said. “Please.”

“Of course. Anything else?”

“Let us try this mead,” she replied. “And then we’ll see.”

“I’ll be right back.”

I worked the room, taking a few more updated orders. I returned, dropping things off on the way, and I set each mug down, making sure they knew which was which. “Why don’t you try those.”

“You mentioned fish and stew,” Alyidil said. “Are there other choices?”

“We have my favorite, which is braised lamb rice. It’s a poor name. There actually is very little lamb. It is a thick, dark sauce made from the lamb drippings but then made much like a stew, but served over rice. There are six types of vegetables, and it is very hearty. It is a little spicy, but not overpowering.”

“It is your favorite?” she asked.

“Yes.”

She changed languages, and the four talked for just a moment or two before she turned back to me. “We would like this lamb and the stew.”

“All right. Let me know what you decide about the mead.” And then I hurried away.

* * * *

The other tables turned over. The four women remained. If they had arrived for the first seating, that might have been frustrating, but they had come during second seating, and so we had open tables, and I couldn’t begrudge them the space. But then Alyidil asked, “What do you drink when you take a break?”

“One of the meads,” I replied.

“Perhaps you could bring us five more and rest for a minute with us.”

I looked around. Everyone was fine. So I nodded. “I’d like that.” Two minutes later, taking a chair from another table, I sat down between Alyidil and Mayolin, all of them making a little room for me. I shared greetings with both women, doing so in their style, but only in the Sargarenese style with Filfoyss and Burquiri, reaching across the table to do so. Then I took a long gulp of my mead.

I set the mug down and said, “I am sure I have never seen anyone like you before, and now I see you twice in two days.”

“We are only freshly arrived in Rosegrove,” Alyidil said. “We have been here not a week.” Her speech patterns were a little odd, and her accent thick, but she had such a lovely voice, I listened to every word. “We are traveling Sargaren, searching high and low for our employer.”

“Your employer is missing?”

“No, no. We are traveling together. She is searching. We are helping her.”

“What is she looking for? It must be very unusual.”

“She didn’t think the search would be so difficult,” Mayolin explained. “But we are sworn to secrecy. However, we told her of you.”

“You did?”

“She was most intrigued when we described your eyes and told us if we see you again, she would like to meet you. Imagine our pleasure to find you again, the very next day!”

Alyidil took my hand. “How much longer must you stay here? Can you leave with us?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. “No. After we close, I have to help clean. And then I’ll be so tired, and I have to be up again early tomorrow, because we serve breakfast. Maybe another time.”

“Oh,” she said, and in one word, she managed to convey much disappointment. “Is this your inn?”

“No, no. I only work here, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, nine days a week.”

She cocked her head. “I do not understand. There are only eight days in a week.”

“It was a joke,” I said. “I work so many days each week, it feels like nine.”

She offered a little laugh. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “I get good food and a nice little place around the corner, all my own. My bed is warm in the winter, and on especially cold nights, we all stay here and keep the fire going.”

“You work so hard.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Maybe she could come here sometime, if she really wants to see violet eyes.” I smiled. “Speaking of work.” I got up and finished my mug. “Did you want anything else?”

“No,” Alyidil said.

“I’ll bring the bill.”

She nodded, and I stepped away, bustling about with the few remaining tables.

I thought that would be the end of it.

I was wrong.

Surprise Visitors

It was late. It was late every night. But I’d had a good night. I wasn’t paid to serve. Well, I was. I had my room, all my own, and I ate as much as I could want. But for money, I depended on the little bit some of the guests paid me. Most left nothing or very little. But some were kinder, and that was always appreciated. My needs were simple, but it was nice to make enough for a new book, and I was saving for another dress. My oldest was becoming ragged, and I wouldn’t be able to repair it many more times.

I wasn’t the last out the door, but I was the last out the front, and I carefully locked the door, rattling it to be sure, looking around one more time before turning left.

I didn’t notice I was being followed, two shapes as dark as night, moving from shadow to shadow. I dare say, few would have noticed.

My home was only around the corner, a half block down, and then another half block. I paused at the entrance to the alley. It was only thirty steps to the stairs. I let my eyes grow a little more accustomed, but I neither heard nor saw anything I wouldn’t have welcomed, and so finally I made a little dash for it, scampering up the stairs. I had my key ready, and I was accustomed to sliding it into the lock, even in the dark. As soon as I was inside, with the door bolted, I reached for the lamp along the wall. My practiced fingers found the little knob, and I gave it a crank, extending the wick, and the room brightened enough I could see.

I moved around, lighting a few more lights, before undressing for bed.

I was dressed simply. My long skirt was plum. I had a white blouse, and over that, a brown, laced tunic. If I wished to give myself more shapely curves, I could draw the laces more tightly, but I usually wore them just shy of snug.

I took all of these off, hanging them carefully, and then my underthings as well. I changed into sleepwear, which for the summer was a simple white shift.

I was exhausted, but it always took me a little time to sleep. I moved around the room, turning off all the lamps except the one near my bed, right beside the window. I found my newest book and slipped under the covers, reading for twenty minutes.

Then I yawned, marked my book, and then carefully turned down the lamp.

As I lay there in the dark, I thought of the strange women. Their dresses were so colorful, and their skin so unexpectedly dark. But they were each absolutely stunning, or so I thought.

It was too bad I couldn’t have gone with them, but what were they thinking? They must truly be strangers here.

But I thought of Alyidil’s touch and smiled as I drifted to sleep.

* * * *

I don’t know how long I slept. I woke to a noise. The city always held noises, but this had seemed close. I sat up and looked around. It was too dim to see details, but I listened, and I heard nothing further.

“Cat,” I muttered. It was a guess, and I didn’t really know what had woken me. But I rolled over to my other side and closed my eyes.

Five heartbeats later, there was a fresh noise, several fresh noises, and I spun over in time to see… blackness. Moving shadows. And then the shadows were upon me. I opened my mouth to scream, but they had come prepared. Thick cloth pressed against my mouth, a hand pressing tightly, and then another reaching around and grabbing my head, wrapping me tightly and holding the cloth tightly in place. More hands grabbed my flailing arms, and someone wrapped both my legs through the covers.

I tried to scream, but no one was going to hear me.

I didn’t understand what was happening. I should have seen something, but they were nothing but shadows, darker than shadows, and all I saw were eyes.

They held me tightly as I struggled, as I tried to scream. They held me tightly as I wore myself out, thrashing in their hold.

Then, in a quiet moment, a voice. “We don’t want to hurt you.”

An accented voice.

A familiar voice.

I tried screaming again, and I renewed my struggles. It did me no good. They rode through it, and when next I slumped, breathing heavily through my nose, they rolled me onto my stomach, pinning me to the bed, climbing over me to do it. I tried to fight them, but they were four, and I was one.

They pinned me to the bed, three holding me down tightly, holding me muffled. And the fourth began to tie my legs. I went insane, trying to fight them, but she drew the ropes snugly, my ankles first, and then another above my knees. Behind my legs she added a piece of smooth wood, a thick branch, then bent my legs double and bound them tightly. She used more ropes, taking her time, working carefully.

And I’d like to say I struggled the entire time, but I didn’t. I struggled in spurts, but they held me easily, and my struggles did no good, not even enough to hit one of them, not once.

They pulled me up so I was on my knees, still holding my arms tightly, my head tightly, the cloth over my mouth tightly. The one who had tied my legs went to work with more rope, tying some sort of complicated harness from my waist to over my shoulders, around my chest, between my breasts. Again, she worked carefully, and there was nothing I could do. And then the one on my right bent my arm, pressing it against my back, and the other tied it there as I tried to struggle. My left arm joined the right. They added another branch, this one laced under my left arm, across my back, and then under the right. They used more rope to tie me securely.

Then the voice said, “We will not hurt you, but if you give us trouble, we will hurt you.” She paused and gave a little laugh. “I am sorry. In our language, there are different words. Maybe I should say harm? We will not harm you. We are taking you with us, and you will arrive whole. But if you give us trouble, we will be very unpleasant.”

I didn’t understand, but when she asked, “Do you understand?” I nodded.

“I am going to remove my hand,” she said. “If you scream, no one will hear you, but we will hurt you.”

She paused then slowly removed her hand, pulling the cloth away from my mouth. I turned my head to look at her. I could barely see her, she was so dark. “Alyidil,” I said. “Why?”

“Our mistress wishes to meet you,” she explained. “We tried the easy way, but she is impatient. We have searched much of Sargaren for you. Open your mouth widely.”

“This is evil,” I said.

“Open,” she repeated. I did, and she filled my mouth with the cloth, and then secured it as well. “You could probably work that out, but if you do, we will hurt you. We will not harm you, but we will hurt you.”

Then they pulled a sack over my head, cinching it lightly around my neck.

I learned what the branches were for; they used them to carry me. It was tricky getting out the door. In the alley, they threw a blanket over me, presumably hiding the shape of what I was. And then they carried me, two on either side, as we hurried through the streets.

It hurt. It could have hurt worse, but it hurt as I hung from the wood. But they ran more smoothly than I would, and I thought they made no extra effort to make it hurt worse than necessary. From time to time I gave out little grunts, and I know I whimpered, the noises muffled, and I probably made more noise breathing. The way my heart was pounding, I thought even that should be heard.

But it was late, the dead of night, and as best I could tell, we encountered no one on the empty streets.

Then I heard horses. They lifted me, then set me down. There was rocking, and I recognized a small wagon. More rocking, and then we were moving again.

I still hurt, but this wasn’t remotely as bad as being carried. But that was when I started to quietly cry.

Someone leaned over me. “She doesn’t intend to harm you. She needs you.”

“You’re a charvering bang-swallower,” I said into the gag. I’m pretty sure none of the words were intelligible, nor am I sure she would have understood me even without the gag, but she recognized the tone.

“We’re sorry, Jeraya,” she said. “But our mistress wasn’t interested in ‘no’.” But then there was movement, and I felt things piled on top of me. “We’re coming to the gate. If you alert the guard, we’ll be forced to kill them. They won’t expect it, and they won’t have a chance to sound an alarm. And then for the rest of the trip, we will hurt you. Please don’t make us do that.”

I said nothing, but I grew quiet as they piled things atop me. I couldn’t tell what it was, but it was soft, at least, even if the wagon under me wasn’t.

We came to a stop. The conversation with the guard was muffled. And then we were moving again.

I knew that had been my last chance to summon help; there wouldn’t be another, unless we were entering another town, and had to pass another guard.

That wasn’t to be the case.

Intentions

We didn’t travel that far, perhaps a half hour, perhaps a little more. I had no idea where they were taking me nor even which gate we had used leaving the city. But we came to a stop. There was rocking, and then I heard and felt as they pulled the things off of me.

“We’re here,” Alyidil said. “It is a short walk now, and then you will meet our mistress. This wasn’t so bad, Jeraya.”

“You’re a green-toothed pilliardizer,” I grunted. “A slack-lipped jute-jumper.” I worked at an inn; I’d heard them all, and I was only warming up.

They pulled me from the wagon. I grunted and gave a cry as they picked me up, but then I returned to my insults. “You are the scum that forms on my teeth at night, the ice that surrounds the droppings of a mule in winter.”

They said nothing, but they carried me. I heard doors, and they shifted me through a doorway. I heard sandals against stone floors, and then another door.

I continued my tirade as they lowered me to the floor, onto something soft. There were new footsteps drawing close, and a fresh accented voice said, “She doesn’t seem pleased.”

I started with new insults directed at the new woman. She let me go on for a minute then asked, “Does anyone know what she’s saying?”

“I imagine the tone is sufficient,” Alyidil said. “She is unharmed, Mistress.”

“Good. Stand her up. I must see her.”

It took a minute. They partially untied my legs, and I gave a fresh groan as they allowed me to straighten them. Then they lifted me until I stood, unsteadily, on my bound feet. Someone’s hands reached for the drawstring of the sack, and then it was removed, somewhat carefully, from my head.

I found myself staring into the eyes of… A woman. Okay, I could tell she was a woman, and attractive besides.

She wasn’t like the others. Oh, no. Her skin was fair, perhaps the fairest I’d ever seen, quite the opposite from the other four.

And she wasn’t human. She definitely wasn’t human.

The first I saw were her eyes; they were slit like a cat’s.

Her eyebrows… were tufted, like whiskers, but above her eyes, extending a good hand span to either side, and I would learn they were quite expressive.

Her hair was white, pure white, long, and alive. It wasn’t wild. It was quite tame. But it moved, almost as if it was breathing. I stared at that, and she actually turned sideways to give me a better look.

And that was when I saw the ear. It was as pointed as mine, but mine were delicate, and only a little taller than they were wide. Her ear was twice that height, three times that height, poking out the top of her head, almost like a cat’s ears in a way, but mounted on the side of her head, and so very, very tall.

Then she turned back to me, and her hand lifted to my chin. She held me steady, looking deeply into my eyes as I glared into hers. With her free hand, she fingered my hair. “Perfect,” she whispered. “She’s perfect.”

I looked left and right. Alyidil and Mayolin held me. More exactly, they held the wood thrust between my arms, using it to keep me exactly where I was. I turned back to their mistress and offered another glare.

“Even like this, she has fire,” said the woman, speaking slowly to be understood. She stepped closer, and I tried to shy away as she lifted her hands, but I had nowhere to go. She set her hands on the cloth at the back of my head. It took her a moment, but she released it, and when I could, I started spitting the cloth from my mouth. She helped me, plucking it from me, before holding it out to the side for Burquiri to take from her.

“We won’t harm you,” she said. “You will be our guest.”

“Guest?” I echoed. “Is this how the guests dress wherever you’re from.”

“Reluctant guest,” she amended. “I need you.”

“For what?”

“A ritual,” she said. “You won’t be harmed. If you behave you won’t even be hurt.”

“What are you? Where are you from?”

“Your people tell stories of us,” she said. “We call ourselves Glimari. But in your stories, you call us dark elves.”

I scoffed. “Children’s tales.”

She flicked an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“You’re nearly as white as snow.”

“I’m not the one who writes the stories,” she replied. “I believe there are other species you also write about, from other worlds, and you call all of us elves, as if the word means not-human.”

“Other worlds?”

“Yes. I am not from this world. I am banished here.”

“You make no sense.”

“I know,” she said. She flicked the eyebrow again. “Do you have another explanation?”

“No. What are you going to do to me?”

“I told you. I need you for a ritual.”

“You’re going to sacrifice me in some evil rite.”

“No,” she said. “I told you: you won’t be harmed.”

“They told me I wouldn’t even be hurt, if I didn’t fight them further. I didn’t fight. I didn’t make any noise for the guards. But would you care to be carried the way they carried me?”

“No,” she admitted. “Did they hurt you intentionally?”

“No.” I turned to look at Alyidil. “I was kind to you. You are strangers in this town, and most people are leery of strangers. I was kind. And you do this to me.”

“It’s not her fault,” said the dark elf. “I told her to acquire you.”

“Oh, and so she does what you order?”

“She does. If you wish to blame someone, blame me.”

“There’s enough blame for all of you,” I replied. “What is this ritual?”

“I wish to summon a goddess.”

“More children’s tales.”

“Do children’s tales come forth from the pages?” she asked, gesturing to herself. “Perhaps I am delusional, and nothing will happen.” She stroked my hair. “That is actually rather likely.”

“That you’re sun-touched? I can believe that.”

“That nothing will happen.” She gestured. “Let her sit.”

I couldn’t walk, my legs bound, even if not doubled back on themselves, so Alyidil and Mayolin half carried me, half dragged me. It wasn’t comfortable, and I whimpered a few times, but they lowered me into a chair. The woman took another, pulling it to face me, our knees nearly touching. “Let us start with this. I am called Lal Keshia.”

I considered an insult. Instead, I muttered, “Jeraya.”

She practiced it and then made me practice hers. I considered a show of defiance, but I wasn’t an idiot. I held no power here, and their willingness to casually hurt me just to set me in a chair didn’t bode well. And so, I said her name as well as I could.

“Good,” she said. “I wish to summon a goddess. Her name is Shi`nual. She requires a host.”

“What does that mean?”

“She will take over your body.”

“No!” I screamed.

“You won’t be harmed,” Lal Keshia said quickly. “On my world, women such as you volunteer.”

“You’re definitely sun-touched.”

“Possibly,” she admitted. She leaned forward and fingered my hair. “We have humans on my world. One in a forty has hair such as yours. One in a fifty of those also has eyes this color. Shi`nual will only inhabit such a woman.”

“Sun-touched.”

She ignored that. “I will summon her. If she is pleased with my summoning, and with your appearance, she will accept the summons. And then I have three days to ask three questions.”

“And then what?”

“She leaves when she is summoned elsewhere. She may only be summoned on the night of two full moons. On my home, that is common, as we have eleven moons, and a night of two full moons is common.”

“We only have two moons,” I said.

“Yes. And the next night of two full moons is in another seven weeks. After that, I would need to wait nearly five years.”

“How do you know that?”

“It is simple math,” she said.

“I don’t understand.”

“I imagine not. You’ll have to trust me.”

“Right,” I said. “I frequently trust the people who come to me at night like this.”

“Normally, there might be ten people attempting to summon Shi`nual on the same night, and she only accepts a single summons. But it is unlikely the night of two full moons matches the night on my old home, so there should be little competition for her attention.”

“And you think she’ll hear you?”

“I hope she hears me,” she replied. “And I hope she is pleased by you.”

“You have no right to do this to me.”

“You’re right,” she agreed. “I’m desperate.”

“You could have asked.”

“Alyidil invited you.”

“I was working!” I exclaimed. “Do you even understand the concept?”

“You told Alyidil you worked every day. How was it that you put it? You work 9 days a week? You said, ‘Maybe some other time’, but made no effort to suggest when you could come.”

“So, this is my fault?”

“No. It isn’t your fault.”

“You could have come to me,” I pointed out. “Seven weeks is a long time.”

“First, I couldn’t come to you. Can you imagine the stir I would cause? Tell me: what could Alyidil have said to convince you to visit tomorrow?”

I looked away, staring at nothing, and finally said, “I don’t know.”

“Neither do I. And I don’t have seven weeks. We must return to my home on your world.”

“Across the eastern desert?”

“No, but it is a two-week journey, and then I must prepare for the ritual. I don’t have a week. We would have left tomorrow if we hadn’t found someone yesterday or today. Maybe we would have stumbled upon someone else, but I doubt it. We’ll leave tomorrow.”

It took me about ten seconds to process what she had just said. And then I began screaming incoherently, absolutely screaming. I don’t know if any of them understood a word, but they would certainly have understood my rage.

They were hauling me across the country to who-knows-where, taking me from my home, taking me from a job that wouldn’t be here when I got back – if I got back. And what would they do with me when they were done with me?

I screamed, and I screamed. They made what I felt were half-hearted efforts to calm me down, but finally the woman said, “Lock her in the storage room.”

The four of them picked me up, Alyidil and Mayoline using the pole under my arms, and the other two grabbing my waist and legs. At least it wasn’t as cruel as the first way they carried me.

Still screaming, they brought me through the house and down into the basement. There was a small room with a sturdy door, and I got a good, good look at it as they worked their way through it. There was a bed, and they set me face down on it, and then Alyidil said, “If you want to be untied, be quiet.”

That got through, and I shut up for a moment, panting heavily. She paused then said, “If you promise not to fight, we’ll untie you. Otherwise we’ll leave you like this. I know which I’d pick.”

“Please just let me go. I won’t tell anyone what you’ve done.”

“No. Do you want to be untied?”

“Yes.”

“Will you fight us?”

“No,” I lied.

“I don’t entirely believe you,” she said. “If you fight us, we’ll tie you back up, and we’ll be cruel.”

“I said I won’t fight.”

She paused, but then they began untying me, starting with my legs. I lay still, and then when they untied my arms, I curled into a ball. “You are horrible, horrible people.”

“We won’t harm you if you don’t make us,” Alyidil said.

“What happens to me?” I asked. “You take me away. I’ll lose my job.”

“It’s a terrible job.”

“No one is offering me a better job,” I said. “I have a warm, dry place to live, and I eat very well. But you don’t care. I have red hair and violet eyes, and that’s all that matters to you. You’re an evil, scum-licking, prigger of animals.” I was just getting warmed up when the door slammed. I heard them push the bolt home, and they added two bars, holding the door secure. I screamed wordlessly before I began to cry.

Touch

I didn’t sleep.

I cried for a while, finally growing a little numb. I screamed a lot. I eventually got up. The room was absolutely dark, but I checked thoroughly. It was utterly empty, except for the bed and the door. There wasn’t any light coming from anywhere, and the walls were stone. Maybe with enough light I could have found a weak point, but I didn’t think so, and I certainly didn’t find one in the dark.

I returned to the door. I tried it. The handle wasn’t locked, but it opened outward, and when I rattled it, it went nowhere. I began thumping on it. I could tell it was bolted near the handle and barred near the top and bottom, or so I thought from the way the noise changed depending where I banged on it.

I screamed. I kicked the door. That hurt, so I turned around and kicked with my heel. Kick, kick, kick, then slam my body into it. Kick, kick, kick, slam.

When that hurt too much, I found my way back to the bed. I lay there a while before returning to the door.

I wondered how well the noise I was making carried. If I wasn’t sleeping, I didn’t think I wanted them to sleep, either. Kick, kick, kick, slam. Kick, kick, kick, slam. It hurt, but I kept it up for a while. Maybe something would break, eventually.

I didn’t think I was getting out of this alive. They were hardly going to let me go when they were done. They were going to use me for this ritual and then murder me afterwards. What else could they do?

Everything they were doing was illegal, after all, and they had to know I’d report them. All five of them were unique, and they’d be easy to find if they didn’t leave back across the desert faster than word could spread. No, they’d be killing me.

I had nothing to lose.

Then I heard noise, and when I spun around, light was seeping in around the edges of the door. “Why are you so angry?” It was Alyidil.

“Are you insane?” I asked. “Why am I so angry? You’re really asking that?”

“We aren’t going to hurt you, Jeraya.”

“You’re a liar,” I said. “You’ve already hurt me. Have you ever been carried like that?”

“I am sorry,” she said. “I do not know your language very well.”

“You speak just fine.”

“We will not harm you.”

“I don’t believe you!” I screamed. “What happens to me when this is over?”

“We’ll let you go.”

“Liar!” I screamed. “You're a thrice-cursed liar to go with a kidnapper and eventual murderer.”

“I don’t even understand your insults.”

“You understand my tone, but that wasn’t an insult. You’re going to murder me.”

“I do not know that word.”

“Kill. You’re going to kill me!”

“Of course we won’t!

“I don’t believe you!” I screamed.

“The goddess wouldn’t allow such a thing.”

“You’re insane.”

“You should try to sleep.”

At that I smiled. “So should you. Was I keeping you awake?”

“Yes.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said sarcastically. “I tell you what. Let me go, and you can sleep very well. I won’t even prey on your conscience or anything.”

“Jeraya, you should try to sleep,” she repeated. “If I have to come back down again, there will be four of us. We will come back in, and we will tie you. It will be quite uncomfortable, and if you try to fight us, we will leave you on the floor. It is your choice.”

I slammed against the door. “You can’t do this to me!”

“I do not bluff. Do not make me come back.”

And then the light faded. “Alyidil!” I screamed. “Don’t leave me in here!” I screamed once more and then grew quiet, turning my back on the door and slumping down, sliding down until I was sitting on the floor, my back to the door.

* * * *

I eventually made it to the bed and curled into a ball. There were blankets, and while the basement was quite cool, there were actually quite a few blankets, and I was able to warm up.

I slept, on and off.

And I hated myself, although not as much as I hated them. I hated myself, because with one threat, she had subdued me. I offered no further expressions of rage, and I remained quiet the rest of the night.

* * * *

I don’t know what time it was; there was no daylight, none at all. But then I heard my name. “Jeraya.”

“What do you want, goat-ball-licker?”

“We have breakfast for you,” Alyidil replied. “We are going to open the door, and you will be sitting on the bed, or we will tie you. Do not fight with us.”

I said nothing. Instead, I rolled over. I heard the noises, and then there was light. They would have seen the back of my head as I lay on the bed. “I have to use the water closet,” I said.

“We brought a chamber pot.”

I turned around and sat up, blinking at the light. “So you’re going to keep me in a room with the smell of the chamber pot?”

Burquiri said something in their other language. Alyidil paused and then said, “If you wish to use the water closet, you will let us tie your hands first.”

“In front of me, so I can see to things.” I didn’t make it a question. “And wash afterwards?”

“Yes, but we will also hobble your feet. If you fight us, Jeraya, we will not be kind in the future.”

“You aren’t being kind now,” I said. “You’re destroying my life, and in the end, you’re going to murder me.”

“We are not,” she said firmly. “Hold out your wrists.”

I did as I was told. Burquiri tied my wrists and then added a hobble for my ankles. I could take mincing steps, but that was all. She and Filfoyss helped me to stand, and then they held my arms as they led me from my cell.

The stairs were difficult, and eventually I turned around, sat down, then went upstairs on my butt, one stair at a time. They helped me to my feet and brought me to the water closet.

And then they wouldn’t leave me alone. Instead, Burquiri came in with me, and she watched me the entire time. I tried to ignore her, but finally I looked up at her. “You are evil.”

“I would be angry, too,” she said. “We will not harm you.”

“You keep saying that, but I don’t believe you. You’re not stupid enough to think I won’t report you if you let me go.”

“That is between you and our mistress,” she said. “She has promised we are not helping to do evil. Killing you would be evil.”

“Taking me like this is evil. Killing me is just bigger evil.” I paused. “I was kind to you. Has everyone been as kind as I have been?”

“No. We would have preferred a gentler way.”

“But I was leaving with you, either way.”

“Yes.”

“Then that is evil, and I think you know it.”

She turned away, saying nothing. But she didn’t offer to help me escape. I finished what I needed to do, washed up as best I could, and turned to her. She led me from the water closet, and then the four of them escorted me back to my cell.

They waited as I ate, and they didn’t untie me until I was done, and they had taken the things from me. Then Alyidil said, “You will be here while we see to a few arrangements, perhaps two hours.”

“Whatever,” I said. “I hope your heart shrivels and dies.”

They said nothing further, but Burquiri untied my ankles and wrists, and then they backed from my cell and bolted it. “Try getting a little more sleep.”

* * * *

They came back, and I sat up, blinking in the light. “We have clothing for you,” Alyidil said. “It is in our style.”

“Whatever.”

“If you cooperate, we will be kind. If you do not cooperate, you will not care for how you travel.”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“You can make this worse for yourself,” she said. “Will you cooperate?”

“For now.”

Filfoyss and Burquiri stepped to me. They helped me stand, and then I stood still as they fully undressed me. But then they pulled one of their dresses onto me, and then they put sandals like theirs on my feet.

Of course, then they hobbled my ankles and tied my wrists again. They led me upstairs.

Lal Keshia was waiting for me, and it was the same room where we had talked late last night. They brought me to a stop, and she smiled. “You look lovely.”

“Why am I wearing this?”

“You would prefer to wear nothing?”

“Why am I wearing this rather than clothing more familiar to me?”

She didn’t answer my question. Instead, she said, “I am about to give you a choice. I know you are angry and scared. I don’t know how to assure you we will not harm you.”

“You’re going to murder me is what you’re going to do.”

“No,” she said. “It is my hope to take very, very good care of you, Jeraya.”

“Right,” I said.

“Do you believe my goddess will be impressed if we kill her host after she leaves?”

“She’ll be gone. Will she know?”

“I don’t know, but it would be the worst sort of sacrilege.”

“And I’m supposed to trust you?”

“You have little choice.”

I didn’t believe her. “Although you mentioned a choice?”

“Yes. We are leaving shortly. Our journey will take two weeks, if the roads are good, or perhaps a little longer with poor weather and wet roads.”

“And?”

“And you may have the choice of riding openly, dressed like this.”

“And no one is going to notice the ropes?” I held my hands up.

“We’ll remove them.”

“Right. Why would you do that?”

“Because you’ll promise to behave.”

“And you’re stupid enough to believe me?”

“Or you may express your ire,” she continued. “And we will tie you quite uncomfortably and pack you into a trunk with very thick walls. We can pump in fresh air, but it will be quite stuffy and uncomfortable. Is that how you prefer to spend the next two weeks?”

“No.”

“I wouldn’t, either. So, you will behave?”

“And if I lie?”

She didn’t answer. “Do you promise to behave?”

“Yes,” I lied.

“Good.” She was an idiot to believe me. “You will ride double with one of my servants. Choose one.”

“Alyidil,” I said.

“Very good,” Lal Keshia said. Alyidil stepped to the dark elf and held out her right hand. Lal Keshia wrapped a heavy bracelet around it and then spoke several words in some strange language. Alyidil grunted, but said nothing. I had no idea what was going on.

Then Alyidil stepped to me. She moved behind me, and I watched her. “I’m not about to hurt you,” she said gently. Then she wrapped arms around me. I stiffened but said nothing. But she wrapped her arms around me, her hands finding bare skin. She even pressed her face against the side of mine, leaning over me a little to do so.

Lal Keshia stepped in front of me. She had another of the bracelets. She reached for my hands and pulled them up, and then she wrapped the bracelet around my left wrist. She spoke the words again, and I stared as the bracelet grew snug around my wrist. “How did you do that?”

“Magic,” she said. “You’re not going to believe me, so we’re going to perform a brief demonstration. This isn’t to hurt you, but it’s going to seem like that.”

“You keep promising not to hurt me, but your promises are as false as everything else.”

“I am sorry for that, but we both know you were lying when you promised to behave.” I said nothing, as she was right, and only an idiot would have believed me if I protested. “The bracelets are magic, and they come as a pair. You will notice nothing as long as you are sharing contact, skin to skin, with Alyidil. It need not be this intimate,” and she gestured. “Although the magic bonds better if it begins this way.”

“And if we stop touching?” I asked.

“You die.”

“What?” I screeched. “So much for not harming me.”

“It takes a minute or two,” she said. “It begins with pain, and soon the pain becomes quite overwhelming. Most people pass out, and death follows.” I stared at her, and she let me think about that. “You may not believe me. In a minute, Alyidil will release you, but she will be right there. When you are convinced, you only need initiate skin-to-skin contact. Holding hands is sufficient, but if you delay, it may take more to drive the pain away.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“We’re doing it here, so you are convinced,” she said. “It would not do for you to try to summon assistance in public.”

“I’ll behave!” I said, nearly screaming.

“If, while we’re traveling, you do anything to draw attention, do you know what we’ll do?”

“Kill me.”

“Alyidil will push you from her horse, and then we will ride away. No one is going to believe you, and we’ll be long gone while they’re wondering what is wrong with you.”

I closed my eyes and tried to get my anger and fear under control.

“I hold no ill intent, Jeraya, but we both know you were lying. I, however, am not lying about anything. You will travel with us. We will do the ritual. Shi`nual will come. She and I will talk. She will leave, and we will take care of you afterwards. You will be entirely unharmed, but the experience tends to be quite overwhelming.”

“Will I go mad?”

“No.”

I didn’t believe her, but I believed her about the bracelets. I lifted my bound wrists and stared at it. Then I looked sideways at Alyidil. “I’ll behave. I promise.”

“We know you will, but we’re going to be sure you believe me,” Lal Keshia said. Then she nodded.

“No!” I screamed.

Alyidil threw her arms wide and took two steps directly away from me. I stood there, stricken. At first, nothing happened, for two or three seconds. But then I doubled over, gasping. I was filled with pain, and I gasped again, then tripped and slipped to the floor. No one caught me. I lay there for a moment, gasping for air, filled with pain, but then I lunged for Alyidil’s feet and wrapped around her tightly, pressing against her skin everywhere I could reach.

It took several heartbeats before I could breath, and several more before I said, “I believe you. I believe you. Please don’t do that again. Please.” I looked up at Alyidil. For her part, she knelt down and set her hand on my back.

“I’m sorry,” she said gently. “You had to be sure. I think you’re sure now.”

“I’ll behave,” I whispered.

“It can be shocking,” Lal Keshia said. “But you’ll be fine in another minute or two.”

They gave me another minute, then Burquiri and Filfoyss were there. They untied my ankles. Careful to maintain my contact with Alyidil, I turned around and offered my wrists. They untied them, and then the three of them helped me to stand. I turned back to Alyidil and wrapped around her tightly. She wrapped her own arms around me, saying nothing, but her hand found the bare skin of my back.

“That’s why I’m wearing this dress,” I said.

“Part of the reason,” Lal Keshia said. “Our story is that this is a mating ritual, that you must remain together in the months leading to your marriage. If you cannot remain together for four months now, when love is new, you could not share a life forever.”

I thought about that and said, “That actually makes sense.”

“It is a custom from my world,” she said. “When you’re ready, I want you to take Alyidil’s hand and assure yourself that is sufficient contact. If it is not, she is right there, and she can hold you however you like.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. And then I hated myself for succumbing so soon, thanking her for not hurting me further. I took several deep breaths, and then I released my hold, sliding my left hand down her arm, finding her hand. We clasped, and then slowly she released me the rest of the way. We came to a stop, only holding hands.

“Getting on and off your horse will be done in stages,” Lal Keshia. “If the two of you care to sit, we’ll finish getting things ready and then retrieve you.”

I let Alyidil lead me to a sofa. We sat, and I stared, a little numbly, at our clasped hands. I brushed a tear from my eye.

“She is very desperate,” Alyidil said gently.

“I don’t expect to live through this,” I said. “You understand that. I believe her about the magic, but I don’t believe her about anything else.” I turned to look into her eyes. “When I die, know that you’ll have helped to do this to me. Do you even care?”

“We aren’t doing this to harm you,” she said. “I promise.” She lifted her other hand and brushed away the tear. “I’m sorry this is difficult for you.”

“What happens at night?”

“We share a bed. We’ll make it a small bed, and I’ll hold you, however you like.”

I said nothing further.

* * * *

Mayolin retrieved us a few minutes later, even offering a hand to help both of us rise. We followed her outside.

There were five horses waiting, and four more packhorses. “How do we make this work?” I asked.

“We thought about having you mount from the steps.” Lal Keshia gestured to the house. “But we know we won’t always have that option.”

“This is yours,” Burquiri said, holding the nose of one of the horses. Alyidil nudged me forward, and we stepped to the side of the mount.

“We’re going to climb aboard one step at a time,” Alyidil said. “We practiced this. First, we will switch hands, my left to your left. I’m going to let you control this, but I will guide you.” Then she lifted her left hand and clasped my left arm. “Use your right hand to touch me wherever you want.”

I thought about it, and then I set my hand against her cheek. She smiled.

“We are touching in three places,” she said. “Your right hand is touching my cheek. We are clasped, your left to my right hand. And my left hand is on your left arm. We only need one, but that probably makes you nervous. So I want you to wrap your left hand around my right hand, then I want you to place my hand where you want me to continue to touch you. Then I will slide my left hand down, and we will clasp, left to left.”

I nodded. Then I did as she said. She relaxed her hand, and I wrapped around, then took her wrist. I set her right hand on my right arm. She clasped, and then she slid her left hand until we were holding hands, left to left.

“Good. That is what we will do every time we switch. It will become second nature. Now, we go back to only holding hands, but left to left. Then I want you to step around behind me.”

She didn’t have to guide me. But I maintained contact with both hands, my left holding her left, and my right finding more bare skin, finally moving to her right shoulder.

“Now we mount, me first,” she said. We stepped up to the horse. “I’m going to do this one step at a time. First I’m going to prepare.” She did that, with me right where I was. “Now, you need to let go of my hand, but keep your right exactly where it is. You can set your hand on my arm.” I did that, and then she pulled the edge of her dress up a little, the skirt slit opening to show off her leg. “Left hand on my leg.” I did that. “Now right hand.” I moved around and had both hands against her leg. “Good. Up I go.” She did, settling into the saddle as I clutched her leg.

“Good.” She reached her left hand down. “Face me directly and hook left arms.” We worked that out, then she said, “We do this in a smooth motion. Put your foot into the second stirrup, and then let me pull you up.” I nodded, and then it was almost nothing, but I was in the saddle behind her, pressed against her back and holding tightly to her.

“That isn’t so hard,” she said. “We’ll get smoother. Now, you control touch. You may touch whatever skin you find. You may be able to sleep. If you wish, you can wrap around me, and I’ll hold your hands.”

“All right.”

“Or you can set your hands on my legs, or your face against my shoulder. You may touch me however you are comfortable.”

“Sure.”

I squirmed a little more, and by the time I had found a position, the others were mounted. As I pressed against Alyidil, she clicked to the horse, and we rode away from the house.

Travels

I’m not going to describe the travel in much detail. The magic bracelets had taken the last of my rebellion from me, and so I became deeply subdued, and I did absolutely anything Alyidil told me to do. Not once did she abuse my obedience, which didn’t take me long to notice. I went where I was directed, and I did as I was told, but other than taking me with them, she was kind to me. They all were, really.

I didn’t talk much the first few days. Lal Keshia was also quiet. The other four spoke together, but when they did, they spoke easily in their own language, and I didn’t understand a word.

While riding, I pressed against any bare skin I could find. It wasn’t entirely logical, as it had been shown I only needed to hold her hand. But I was so terrified of bouncing away from her, that I wrapped around her and pressed tightly besides. If it bothered her, she didn’t say a word.

We stopped periodically for a break, to water the horses, and to see to our own needs. We made a mid-morning stop, and then we came to a village and stopped for lunch. Alyidil and I worked out how to climb up and down from the mount, and we would become quite practiced over the coming weeks. After that, we clasped hands, and I pressed against her side besides. If anyone paid any attention to us, they would have assumed we were lovers, from the way we touched.

And while Alyidil was not as intimate or remotely desperate about it, like I was, she returned my touches, often adding her hand atop mine, or upon my shoulders, or leaning her cheek against mine. Neither of us talked about it, and I should have been angry for it, but I wasn’t. I was angry about the rest, but I wasn’t angry about the way she treated me.

I said nothing to anyone regarding my situation. We were noticed; of course, we were. Lal Keshia rode with a cloak, the hood pulled up, her face hidden in shadows, and she avoided looking at anyone besides, and so she drew no notice. But the others were quite obvious, and we received stares.

But no one bothered us, and I said nothing to acquire help. No one could help me, and I had no doubt they would leave me to die if it became necessary.

And so, I clung to Alyidil, saying very little.

Then we were on the road again, riding until late, and then finding an inn for the night.

We had dinner, and then Alyidil and I took turns undressing, working carefully so as to maintain physical contact at all times. We both wore nearly nothing and climbed into bed together. She wrapped around me, and then the others settled into their beds.

I was terrified we’d separate in the night, and so I slept very poorly. I’m sure I made it difficult for Alyidil as well, and at one point she said, “I won’t let go, Jeraya. I promise, I’ll hold you.”

“I’m so scared.”

“I know. If you roll onto your stomach, I’ll rub your back, and then I’ll press against you. We’ll be touching far more than is necessary.”

So, we did that, and her touches on my back felt nice. At the end, I slept for a few hours. And when I woke, I felt her, pressed against me.

I dozed a little longer, and then I heard the others begin to move. And then Alyidil moved, cuddling even more closely against me, and I felt her breath on my neck. I shifted towards her to lie on my side, and when she wrapped an arm around me, I took her hand, staring at it for a while.

The second day of travel was similar to the first, although that night, it was too far to the next town, and so we made a camp.

It wasn’t until the fourth day that I asked, “Why do you serve her?”

“She bought us.”

“I don’t understand.”

“We were slaves,” she said.

“Slavery isn’t legal in Sargaren.”

“It is in Gelsara.”

“Where you’re from.”

“No. We’re from a place south of Gelsara called Sendisha. We were taken in a raid. Burquiri is my sister. Mayolin is our cousin, and Filfoyss is her best friend. We were lucky to be kept together.”

“I’m sorry.”

“We were young,” she said. “I was twelve. It was a year later that Lal Keshia found us for sale in the market. We were to be sold separately, and she got the story from Mayolin. She bought all of us together. Two years later, she brought us to Sargaren, and once we reached Mendelo, she told us we were free women. We have continued to serve her since. She has kept us together, and she has kept every promise she’s ever made to us. Life here is better than Sendisha, and far, far better than our fate in Gelsara.”

“And now you’ve come full circle,” I said. “You’ve now held your own raid and captured me. I’m now your slave. How does that make you feel?”

She said nothing for a long time. I remained pressed against her, and she didn’t push me away, so we rode without words for perhaps twenty minutes. “It isn’t the same,” she said finally.

“It’s not identical,” I agreed. “But yes, it is the same. You violently took me from my home. I don’t know if they had to beat you to make you behave, but do you think I’m holding you like this because I want to? And you have certainly threatened to abuse me if I am not entirely obedient. You’re taking me from the only home I’ve known, and frankly, I do not believe any of her promises. I don’t believe any of it, but even if there is a goddess, what happens to me when she doesn’t answer?”

“Lal Keshia will not blame you.”

“What happens, Alyidil?” I asked. “I am far from home with no money, no clothing. I don’t know anyone. No job. No home. Am I going to have to sell my body to live?”

“No!”

“I don’t believe her, and I don’t believe you. Maybe I will not be abused further, but we’ll see about that. Maybe this ritual doesn’t involve me as a sacrifice, but we’ll see. She intends to bring a god from another world. Who do you think will pay the price of that magic?”

“She’s never broken a promise to us,” Alyidil said.

“It’s not identical to what you went through, and no one should have to go through that. But no one should have people come to her home in the dark of the night and treat me the way you did. No one should be forced to cling to the woman who did that, the way I’m clinging to you, in fear of dying if I bounce off this horse. What happens if a bee stings the horse, and it bolts? I’ll fall off, and now you’re on a fleeing horse. How long before you return to me, Alyidil? Before I’m dead?”

She didn’t answer me, and we didn’t talk again that day, not more than necessary.

But that night, in bed, she was tender to me, rubbing my back and then firmly cuddling against me.

* * * *

It was mid-morning, a week into our travels, when Lal Keshia pulled her horse into place beside ours. We rode that way for several minutes before she said, “Jeraya, you seem like an intelligent woman.”

I’d taken to riding with my head turned, my face pressed against Alyidil’s shoulder. I was turned to the right, and Lal Keshia was on our left. I considered and then turned, facing her, but still pressed against Alyidil.

“You’ve won,” I said. “I am helpless but to go where Alyidil takes me. What else do you want?”

“There are two things you may care to know about me.”

“I doubt it.”

“First, I am not without empathy. And second, I am a very curious person. I believe we have the first in common, you probably more than me. And as a curious person, I wonder if we also share the second.”

I straightened. I knew I didn’t need to press against Alyidil the way I had been, but it made me feel better to share as much skin-to-skin touch as I could. But I didn’t have to, so I straightened in the saddle, although I kept one hand on her bare thigh, and the other was wrapped around her stomach, holding hands with her.

“That’s what you want to know? Whether I am capable of empathy?”

“I already know you are,” she replied. “As you’ve said, you were kind to four strangers, and it wasn’t because you wanted something from them. And I know you hold some curiosity. But we haven’t explored the limits of your empathy, your intelligence, or your curiosity.”

“Aren’t the last two the same thing?”

“Not at all. In a way, curiosity is a recognition of the joy in exercising your mind, at whatever level of intelligence you hold. That’s a poor definition, but do you see?”

“That seems wrong. Curiosity is wanting to know things.” I paused. “But maybe in your language, your definition is better.”

“And that,” she said, “is a sign of your empathy, to recognize that. Is that what you believe, or are you only offering a possible explanation?”

“A possible explanation, but I suspect we understand the word in a far more similar fashion.”

“Well, your definition is right,” she said. “We have another word. Guria. It means a desire to exercise your intelligence or wit. It is an important concept for my people.”

“And you wish to practice your wit against me. I feel I would be a poor opponent.”

“Ah. While I do enjoy practicing my wit, no, I do not wish to do so with you. As I am not void of empathy, I am able to recognize you feel vulnerable, and I do not believe such a game between us would make you feel better. I have no desire to make you feel even worse, Jeraya.”

“Did you just tell me you already decided I would be a poor opponent?”

“No. I told you that I am good enough that even if you are a very good opponent, we would both score points, and I do not believe the points you would score would balance the points I would score, when it comes to how you feel.”

“Well, I’d be a poor opponent. I don’t play that way.”

“And so, while we shall not sharpen our wits, I still wonder if you enjoy exercising your mind.”

“Is that why you’re over here instead of up there?” I gestured with my nose to the head of our group.

“I’m here with my own curiosity.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Many things.”

“Name one.”

“All right,” she replied. “You understand that holding hands with Alyidil is sufficient, but yet you find much more contact. I am trying to understand why. I’ve been thinking about it for the last hour, and in my mind, I’ve gone in circles.”

“What circles?”

“Well, one point on the circle assumes you are far less intelligent than I believe you are, and you believe the contact is necessary. It’s not.”

“And other points?”

“None of the points I visit make complete sense. You have stopped making your insults, few of which I understand, and I do not believe Alyidil does, either.”

“You understand the intent.”

“You were expressing your justified rage and letting us know what you think of us.”

“Then I believe I have made my point. To continue would be repetitious.”

“Well, that’s a different conversation,” she said, “although perhaps related.”

“I didn’t hear a point on the circle.”

“No. That’s a point on a smaller circle, along the edge of the larger circle.”

“Circles and circles,” I said.

“I’ve watched how Alyidil treats you.”

“And?”

“And it is a very long time since someone has treated me with the tender care she has offered you, but I remember what it was like.”

“And?”

“And that turns into a point on the larger circle: you are growing emotionally attached to Alyidil.”

I glanced at the woman in question. I was sure she was listening intently.

“Alyidil is quite attractive, and many people find exotic appearances especially enticing,” Lal Keshia continued. “To your eyes, I imagine she appears quite exotic.”

“You find her attractive?”

“Yes.”

“In spite of being different species?”

“Yes.”

I studied Alyidil. Then I lifted my hand from her thigh, set fingers upon her chin, and turned her so I could see her in profile. She shifted her eyes towards me. I couldn't read her expression, but she hadn’t fought me when I turned her. When I released her chin, she slowly turned back to look forward again, but she squeezed my other hand. I set my free hand on her bare shoulder, but it would find its way back to her thigh soon enough.

“You’re right about some of the things you’ve said, Lal Keshia,” I said finally. “Alyidil does carry an exotic appearance. If the situation were different, I could easily find her deeply alluring. I find it unlikely she feels the same way about me. She treats me the way she does for her own reasons, and it’s not attraction. Some of it is guilt. No. Most of it is guilt. She feels guilty for helping you do this to me. I also wonder if she believes I will live through this, although she has insisted I will. But she recognizes how deeply she has hurt me, and she is not so cold as to be immune to guilt.”

“I imagine that is a portion of her motivation,” Lal Keshia. “Is there more?”

“Keeping me complaisant makes me easier to manage,” I added. “Treating me sweetly means I am not upbraiding all of you at every turn. Instead, I have turned meek and mild, which makes this easier for everyone.”

“You feel she is so calculating?”

“I gave her the benefit of the doubt when I said her primary motivation was guilt. So, a point on the circle is that I am growing tender towards Alyidil. Are there other points?”

“None I am satisfied with. I am not satisfied with the two we have discussed, either. Yes, you’ve been meek and mild. I believe your anger has been tempered. I believe the pleasant weather hasn’t hurt. But I do not believe either explanation is accurate.”

I studied her then laid my face against Alyidil’s back again, still watching Lal Keshia. She noticed, of course, but she said nothing. My free hand moved back to Alyidil’s thigh. “I am trying to decide if I should try to satisfy your curiosity or be petty and let you continue to wonder.”

“While you’re deciding that, I’ll ask another question. Are you curious whether your guesses regarding Alyidil’s treatment of you are a complete explanation?”

“Not really.”

“I think you are.”

“And you offer additional explanation as a trade?”

“I am making conversation and suggesting two-way conversation is more fulfilling than one-way.”

“Ah.”

“I judge some of your guesses as likely accurate, and others as inaccurate.”

“Do you?”

“Are we sparring now after all?” she asked.

I didn’t care for that question, and I turned my head, facing the other way. It wasn’t consciously done, but I also pressed more tightly against Alyidil. When I realized that, I stilled, stiffening a little. Alyidil turned her head, looking at me through one eye. I lifted my head from her shoulder and looked at her. Finally, I turned back to Lal Keshia. “I don’t want to spar with you. Are you making conversation or offering a trade?”

“Well, I was probably offering a trade, but I agree with you. I don’t want to spar, either. You were undoubtedly right when you suggested Alyidil feels guilty. I was right when I suggested you find her appearance exotic. I suspect you find her every bit as exotic as you find me, but she is more alluring to you.”

“I never said that part.”

“No, but I did,” she countered. “What you may not realize is that if you find her appearance exotic, she probably feels the same way about you.”

“There are women who look like me everywhere you look.” Then I looked around. We were traveling through a stand of trees. “All right, not here exactly, but you know what I mean.”

“I understand your point. “The four of them were quite shocked the first time they saw someone with blonde hair.”

“They must have outgrown that reaction.”

“Partly, but only partly,” she said. “My point is that while she may not find your appearance as exotic as you do hers, she finds you at least a little exotic.”

“And so, you suggest her treatment of me is due, in small part, because she likes me.”

“She likes touching you,” Lal Keshia said. “She likes feeling you against her. She likes holding your hand. She likes the feel of your skin against hers.”

I looked at my riding companion. She was still watching me. Without taking my eyes from Alyidil, I declared, “Her loyalty is to you.”

“Yes, and I do not suggest she is conflicted or torn. When I ordered them to bring you to me, they didn’t question my orders or intentions. But I earned their loyalty, and I have never given them a reason to doubt me. I am not saying anything she doesn’t know, yet she is paying acute attention. Do you know why?”

“Because we’re talking about her.”

“Because she’s listening to your responses.”

I watched Alyidil for a minute, then I turned to Lal Keshia. “Intellectually, I know we only need hold hands, or any similar amount of touch. At the same time, I know both intellectually and more instinctually that I am at severe risk. I can envision ways in which I could be thrown from this horse, and Alyidil wouldn’t return to me in time. Even if she did, I would suffer terribly until she reached me. I am afraid, and it is not without cause.”

“I considered a carriage,” she said. “But portions of our travel do not support such transportation, and we will almost certainly experience very muddy roads.”

“The carriage would get stuck.”

“Yes.”

“I know you’ve said you aren’t going to kill me,” I said. “But I don’t believe you. And so, I am afraid for what happens after. And I am afraid of what you will do if your goddess does not hear you, or if she rejects me.”

“Either way, we will take care of you.”

“Right. I’m supposed to believe that. And even if you don’t murder me, I will be stranded far from home with absolutely nothing.”

“And I have said I will take care of you.”

“You haven’t explained that, and I wouldn’t believe you if you did.” I held up my left wrist, pulling it from Alyidil’s grasp to do so. “Perhaps this is permanent.”

“It isn’t.”

“Perhaps you have other means. Perhaps you can render me mute. I don’t know. But I am afraid, and I have good reason to be afraid. I cling to Alyidil because it soothes me to do so. I avoid conversation because they always come around to what you are doing to me, and what I am afraid comes next. So instead, I think about how good she feels, because that is easier to think about than any of my other choices.”

She paused, then nodded. “As much as I control, you have experienced the worst that is to happen.”

I thought about that. I didn’t believe her. “You could acknowledge you have no right to treat me this way. You could apologize.”

“You’re right. I have no right. I am sorry you are scared. I’m sorry you don’t believe me. I’m sorry I didn’t have time to gain your trust. I do not believe I could have lured you to join us. Perhaps through seduction, but that would have taken time I don’t have, and it’s at least as calculating as what I’m already doing. I am sorry. I am desperate.”

“Because we only have six more weeks?”

“Not only that. Jeraya, I want to go home, and for that, I need Shi`nual.”

My next words were a whisper. “She’s a goddess. She can bring you home.”

“Yes, she’s a goddess. I don’t know if she can bring me home, although I doubt it. But she’ll know what I must do. I know some magic, but I don’t know enough.”

I inclined my head. I heard her, and I couldn’t blame her for wanting to go home. I couldn’t blame her for being desperate. And she was probably right; she would have had to offer me quite a lot to come with her.

I wasn’t the adventurous type, after all.

“Go away,” I said. And then I turned away and laid my head against Alyidil’s shoulder.

We rode on. I spoke to no one, but I wondered. Could she have seduced me? I didn’t know.

Could Alyidil?

I rather thought she could have.

Waiting

They didn’t bring me to Mendelo, the capital city of Sargaren. They brought me to Deepwater, a cove in the northwest. Lal Keshia held a home on the cliffs north of the cove. From the front porch, one could see the open ocean. From the balcony above the porch, one could see the furthest corner of the cove. Or one could walk to the cliff edge and see the entire cove laid out, but Lal Keshia forbade me, pointing out the cliffs could crumble, and she hadn’t brought me here to die.

It was late when we arrived, and we had pushed our travel longer than we had other days. I was exhausted. We all were. And so, there was little discussion. Holding hands, Alyidil and I helped with the animals and then helped to carry our things into the house. Lal Keshia stepped in front of me. “It’s late, and we’re all tired. Tonight, you will stay with Alyidil. Tomorrow we will discuss your other choices.”

“Someone else?”

“Other choices,” she repeated. “I hope you feel welcome in my home.”

“It seems nice,” I said. “You must be very wealthy.”

“No, not really. The five of us built it together.”

“The land…”

“We did someone a favor, and we were paid with the land. I am somewhat wealthier than you are, but my wealth is not in gold and gems. The house is warm and comfortable, but it is not grand. Perhaps we can speak more tomorrow.”

I nodded, and I let Alyidil lead me away.

We climbed the stairs, and then we turned left, then right, entering a room on the back of the house with a view not of the ocean, but of the forest. It was simple, but I would learn the bed was comfortable.

I turned to her. “What did she mean when she said I would have other choices?”

“I imagine we’ll both learn tomorrow.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Did you know she wants to go home?”

She paused. “Yes. Do you blame her?”

“Not for that. If she were to invite you, would you go with her?”

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I find it unlikely.”

“Would you return to Gelsara?”

“No. The path to Gelsara is across the great desert and through Sendisha. We would never return that way.” And then she moved both my hands to her shoulders, and that is how we touched while she readied for bed. We traded, and then we moved under the covers.

She held me like she did every night for the last two weeks. I lay in the dark, feeling her body behind me. I lay for some time until I whispered, “Are you awake?”

“Yes.”

I paused then said, “If you had tried, you could have seduced me. Easily.”

“I would have liked that.”

“There wasn’t time.”

“No. And it was too unsure.”

“I wish things were different.”

“So do I.”

* * * *

The six of us shared breakfast, and then Lal Keshia said, “Now that we have arrived, we have five weeks to make preparations. We have much to do. The house must be perfect.” She paused and then, without looking at me, she added, “And the host must be perfect.”

“Then you picked the wrong woman,” I said with a smirk. “I’m so sorry.”

“We must keep her safe,” Lal Keshia said. And then she did look at me. “Secure.” It sounded quite ominous.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I lifted my left hand, clasped in Alyidil’s right. “It’s not like I can go anywhere.”

“Alyidil will have duties,” she explained. “I considered giving you the choice of helping her, or perhaps being transferred to someone else.”

“I do not care to be transferred to someone else,” I proclaimed, “but perhaps Alyidil would rather be rid of me.” I looked at her. She didn’t look at me. “Oh,” I said. “I see.”

That was when she looked at me. “No, Jeraya. I do not want to be rid of you, but I have duties, and I cannot do them like this.”

“Even if she could,” Lal Keshia said, “little accidents happen. You must be perfect.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“No little cuts and bruises,” she explained. She gestured. “This is awkward for both of you, although you are more practiced than you were. Even when moving carefully, sometimes you bump into something. If you had tasks distracting you, these little accidents are more likely. There is time for you to heal, but later, there won’t be.”

“So, you’ve decided not to ask my opinion.”

“Yes.”

“And what are you going to do with me for the next five weeks.”

“There is a room. It is comfortable.

“You’re going to leave me locked in a storage room in the basement for five weeks?”

“We’ll move in a bed and some furniture,” she offered. “Can you read?”

“Yes, I can read,” I said. “But unless you give me lamps, that won’t matter, will it?”

“I won’t give you a lamp, but I will use my magic to give you something nearly as good, and you can’t use it to cause mischief.”

“You think I’d intentionally burn the house down? You think I want to burn to death?”

“I think you don’t believe me when I say you won’t be harmed,” she replied. “And so, killing yourself may be preferable to letting me have what I want. In a moment of rage, you may make choices you wouldn’t make during calmer moments. If you can kill the rest of us in the fire, I think you would at least be tempted. Don’t bother denying it, because I wouldn’t believe you as long as you don’t believe me.”

“If I were willing to kill myself, I’ve had two weeks to do it. All I had to do was jump from a horse and run into the woods.”

“Perhaps, but that had little chance of taking me with you,” she pointed out. “And you weren’t sitting idle, able to brood over your situation.”

“I did plenty of brooding.”

“You also did more looking around than you may be willing to admit,” she countered. “And you did clutching and touching and a little talking. Several times I observed smiles, and on three separate occasions, you laughed.”

“I didn’t.”

“Burquiri told a rather amusing story yesterday afternoon,” she said. “You laughed with the rest of us. Shall I detail the other times?”

“No.” I smiled. “I have to be perfect, do I?”

“We’ll be discussing why you will not intentionally hurt yourself.”

“I bet your goddess won’t be impressed if I have rope burns from being tied.”

“I imagine you’re right,” she said. “She might not care if I use my magic to make you sleep for a month.”

“If you could have done that, why haven’t you already?”

“Magic has a price. Maybe I wasn’t willing to spend magic when mundane methods were readily available.”

I glared at her, entirely unhappy. Then I whimpered. “Please don’t lock me up for five weeks.”

“It will be as comfortable as we can make it.”

“I’ll be alone,” I said. “I don’t like being alone.”

“You would rather have our company than none at all?”

“Does that surprise you?”

“Yes, actually. Oh, I think you’ve been warming up to Alyidil, but I dare say, if I suggested you be bound to me instead of her, you’d accept, wouldn’t you, if that kept you out of the room we’ll make for you.”

“Yes,” I said. “I probably would. Please, Lal Keshia. I’ll behave. Isn’t there a compromise?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “This magic is not trivial.” She gestured towards our clasped hands. “Oh, once it is set, it costs nothing to continue. I could leave you like this a long time. The magic slowly fades, taking perhaps a year or so. But I can’t take the bracelets off and put them on.”

“Why not?”

“The bracelets must be matching pairs, as close to identical as can be made. I anticipated something like this and had these ready. It took three nights to imbue them with magic. But when I remove them, you will see. They will melt away.”

“Oh.”

“I have one other pair. I could transfer you to someone else, if you and Alyidil were deeply at odds, although I probably would have sought other solutions first.”

“It wouldn’t have taken much to keep me meek.”

“I believe you are correct,” Lal Keshia agreed. “If you were willing, I could transfer you to me, but I am going to need both my hands free, and there are other problems.” She paused. “You are going to cooperate.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You are,” she said. “You are going to stay in my good graces.”

“Why am I going to do that?”

“Because I need a chance to consider compromise solutions. It may take a few days to fully satisfy you.”

“It’s going to take at least five weeks to fully satisfy me,” I said.

“I believe you understand what I meant.”

“Fine,” I spat. “It’s not like you really care about me, other as necessary for your ritual.”

“I hold no ill will towards you, Jeraya, and you don’t know how grateful I am to have found you, even as unwilling as you are to help me.”

“You never gave me the chance to make it my choice!” I screamed. “You made sure I didn’t have a chance to say ‘no’. You didn’t even try to talk to me about it first. I couldn’t leave work when you wanted me, so you didn’t make a single additional attempt to arrange a meeting. You didn’t explain to me what you needed or why. You just had these four attack me. Maybe if you’d actually tried talking to me, you could have convinced me to help you.”

“I can’t pay you, Jeraya. I can’t give you riches. The best I could have offered was an adventure. Would you have taken it?”

I glared.

“The people of this planet are not as adventurous as I am accustomed,” she continued. “My people love to explore. We have been everywhere, it seems. But here, few of you ever travel more than a few miles from where you are born. Tell me, Jeraya, are you an adventurer?”

“You already know I’m not. Why are you being shitty?”

“I’m not trying to be shitty, as you say. I am trying to explain. I don’t think I had anything to offer you. I couldn’t think of something then, and I haven’t thought of anything since. And I don’t think you would have gone with us simply out of empathy for my situation.”

She was right. I don’t know how much she would have had to pay me to convince me to give up my life, and she claimed not to have it.

I wasn’t willing to admit any of that, so instead I dropped my gaze. I wasn’t going to sway her.

“Jeraya,” she said gently. “In your anger at me, you will probably consider ways you can stymie me. It wouldn’t be that difficult for you.” I said nothing to that, but she was right. “I want you to consider a few things. First, on my world, women with your appearance hope to become a host to Shi`nual.”

“I only have your word for that.”

“True. Second, I’ll repeat a promise. If you do not intentionally ruin this for me, then you will not be harmed. We will take care of you.”

“Am I going to need taking care of?”

“If she accepts you, the experience is overwhelming, and you will probably be as weak as a baby for a while afterwards. If she does not accept you, it is still a draining ritual. You will need less care, but then you will be a woman far from home with, as you pointed out, nothing but the clothing I give you. I won’t cast you away.”

“You won’t be here, if you get what you want.”

“If she accepts you, that is my hope, but you will be cared for. If she does not come to me, then I will be right here, deeply disappointed, but I will not direct that disappointment onto you, unless you intentionally vex me.”

“Did you just threaten me?”

“Only with a lack of care,” she said. “Maybe ruining this for me is worth what would happen to you afterwards.”

“You’d hurt me.”

“No. I would take you into the village, get you a room at the inn, and leave you there. The room would be paid for two nights. After that, you would be entirely on your own. Maybe that isn’t so bad. But maybe you will choose to help me, as long as you’re stuck here.”

I considered what she said and then said, “You’re not going to offer a larger threat than that?”

“No.”

“You’re not worried I’ll tell everyone what you’ve done?”

“No. If I feel the risk is high, I will use my magic to prevent it.”

“By killing me?”

“By making your mouth close if you try to talk about me, by making your hand clamp if you try to write about me.”

“Fine,” I said. “Prove it.”

“Tonight.”

“Fine.” I smiled. It wasn’t a nice smile. “I bet it wears off.”

“I bet I’ll be long gone before it does.”

“You’ll give up this fine house?”

“I would take some money for it, probably less than it is worth, as there is no one living in Deepwater who covets this location and has the means to pay me.”

“You’re really not going to make a real threat?”

“Nor a real offer of compensation,” she said. “Are you going to stymie me, Jeraya?”

“No,” I muttered. I thought it likely I was lying. “Why did you come here, anyway?”

“Do you mean this location, or this world?”

“This world.”

“I told you: I was banished.”

“By your king?”

“No,” she said. “My sister.”

“What?” I spat. “Why?”

“She wanted the things that were mine.”

“She did this to you because she wanted your money?”

“Well, I was rather wealthy, but it was far more than that. She wanted my position.” She lowered her voice, and I could hear the pain. “My wife.”

“Oh.” I thought about it. “I’m sorry. That’s horrible. Why would your wife accept something like that, if it was your sister that did this to you?”

“I imagine she doesn’t know,” Lal Keshia said. “My wife is exceedingly beautiful and gracious. She is the walking epitome of joy. My sister and I both attempted to court her.” She offered a laugh. “Many, many people tried to court her. But her family directed her towards my family. Her attention solidified a business arrangement.”

“She’s part of a trade agreement?”

“An entirely willing portion,” Lal Keshia explained. “In cases like this, it is extremely common for someone like her to transfer her affections to my sister if I were to die or disappear. If Nur Mareet had disliked Lal Selgen, there would be no obligation. I am more charming than my sister, but she is somewhat prettier, and the competition between us was closer than I would have preferred. Lal Selgen would have immediately invited Nur Mareet into her home, to take care of her, and I have no doubts my wife now shares my sister’s bed.”

“That is terrible.”

“What my sister did is terrible,” she agreed. “I hold no ill will towards Nur Mareet. Indeed, if I had died or truly disappeared for other reasons, then joining with my sister is what I’d hope for her.” She looked away. “They probably have children by now, so even if I am able to return, Nur Mareet may not choose to take her children from their other mother.”

“I’m sorry,” I said again.

She inclined her head then finally turned back to me. “Jeraya, I am sorry for the ways I have hurt you. Do you see my desperation?”

“Yes,” I said. “Promise me again.”

“As long as you are well-behaved, you will not be hurt in any way I can prevent. Regardless, you will not be harmed. If you do not destroy my ritual, then I will ensure you are well taken care of while you are recovering, and I will help with your decisions once you’re ready to decide what you want after. I’m sorry, but I cannot promise you riches.”

“I don’t want riches,” I said. “I just want…” I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. I sighed. “If you’re going to shove me into that room, let’s get it over with.”

“We need to prepare the room first. If you and Alyidil see to cleaning here, the rest of us will see to your stay.”

I nodded.

* * * *

Alyidil and I turned to each other. “Did you know all of that?”

“Not all,” she said. “Much. I didn’t know about her sister taking her wife.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“What her sister did is disgusting.”

“That’s what I meant,” I said.

“It’s not really a unique story,” she said. “The details, perhaps.”

“I suppose you’re right.” I looked down at our clasped hands. “Has this been terrible for you?”

“The opposite of terrible, Jeraya.” She lifted our hands and kissed my knuckles, watching me over the top as she did so. I stared, not resisting. “You probably hate me.”

“I did,” I said. “I don’t know anymore.”

“I want to tell you something, but I don’t want you to decide anything yet.”

“Okay,” I said slowly.

“When this is over, you could stay here, with us. If her goddess can take her home, and she can take us with her, we might go. I don’t know. I think we might go. If she can take us, she can take you. But if she doesn’t take us, then we’ll try to make a life here. You could stay with us. It’s nice here. The people in the village are nice. They see us as oddities, but they’re nice enough.”

“Do they know what Lal Keshia is?”

“No. We are her agents. I don’t want you to decide now.”

“I won’t decide anything for a while, I guess.”

There was noise, and when we turned, Lal Keshia was watching us. “How much of that did you hear?” I asked.

“Probably most of the important parts,” she replied. “If it was private, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I said.

“Jeraya,” she said, “if you have reasonable requests, I will try to fill them.” I nodded. “Your room is ready.” I nodded again, and then we followed her.

The room was, as we had discussed, in the basement of the house. The other three were waiting, but they said nothing. When we arrived, I moved about my new cell, looking it over, Alyidil in tow. It was actually not horrible. The floor was stone, but there was a rug. The walls were wood. There was a bed, sofa, chair, and a couple of small tables. Along the wall beside the door was a low bookcase. It was not full, but there were plenty of books. The room was cool, but not cold.

Finally, I turned to Lal Keshia. “I’ll agree to behave if you don’t leave me down here.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied.

“You don’t believe me.”

“No, and even if you are earnest now, you may not remain that way if you see an attempt to run.”

“Where would I go?”

“To the village to tell all of them what I have done.”

“Oh.” She was probably right. “You can’t stop me? You said you could prevent me from talking about you?”

“That might make you unappealing to Shi`nual.”

“But you’re going to do that tonight, anyway. Did you change your mind?”

“We’ll pick something small. Perhaps I won’t allow you to talk about pink bunnies.”

“Pink bunnies?”

She offered a smile. “I find it unlikely an inability to talk about pink bunnies will offend Shi`nual or even affect your future life in any way, but it will serve as proof of my magic. This is a reverse of the original process. Please sit on the sofa.” She gestured. “Alyidil, stand behind her.”

We walked to the sofa then held our hands out, each taking a different path. I sat. Alyidil stood behind. Then her hands moved so she had them on each of my shoulders, and I set my hands atop hers. It was more than enough touch, although I would have welcomed more.

“I’m scared,” I whispered.

“I am going to take away the magic that could kill you, and you’re scared?”

“Fear isn’t always logical.”

“I suppose not,” she said. “You’re going to be fine, Jeraya. Do you think I’d risk you now?”

“No.” But I remained scared.

She nodded, and then she crouched down before me. “Give me your wrist.” I handed her the left, but I laid my cheek against Alyidil’s hand. She leaned over and pressed her cheek against my other side. It wasn’t remotely necessary, but it was reassurance, and it felt nice besides.

Lal Keshia took my hand, holding it easily in one of hers. “You will feel something, but it is very small. Once I start, I need to move efficiently. I must remove your bracelet and then Alyidil’s.” She shifted her gaze. “You’ll need to offer your wrist immediately. Do not delay.”

“I won’t.”

“Burquiri,” she said. “Are you ready with the tray?”

“Yes.” The woman moved forward. She had a simple cooking pan.

“I am beginning,” Lal Keshia said. “Be ready.” And then she stroked my bracelet with her fingers, chanting briefly. It took a moment, but the bracelet relaxed its grip on my wrist, and as soon as I did, she pulled it from me and dropped it into the pan. She immediately grabbed Alyidil’s hand and did the same, and by the time she dropped the second bracelet, they were both smoking. Lal Keshia blew on her fingers. I stared at the bracelets as they melted in the pan.

“That is why I had to hurry,” she said. “Did either of you get burned?”

I looked at my wrist. I could see indentations where the bracelet had been, and I rubbed at it but said, “No.”

“It started to get hot,” Alyidil said, “but it didn’t burn me.”

“Good,” Lal Keshia replied. She looked into my eyes. “The walls are sturdy, but if you made sufficient effort, you could escape. However, you could not do so without making significant noise.”

I looked around. I thought she was right. “I’ll behave,” I said eventually.

“Thank you.”

She gestured to the bookcase. “If you consume the books of interest, I can obtain others. The bookstore in the village is actually quite good for a village of this size. In other places, books are quite dear.”

“Your home?”

“No, no. Other places here.”

“Our people don’t read,” Alyidil said. “Lal Keshia taught us.”

The elf straightened but smiled down at me. “You are still clutching each other.”

“I’m afraid,” I whispered. I reached up and pulled Alyidil’s head back so she was pressing against my cheek again. She didn’t resist, and on the other side, she squeezed my shoulder.

“Well, I can’t leave her here. I’m sorry. Alyidil.”

“Please don’t.”

“I’m sorry,” the woman whispered. “I’m right here if it starts to hurt.”

“It hurts,” I said.

She laughed. And then, slowly, she pulled away from me. I squeezed my eyes shut, and then I drew into a ball besides, pulling my knees my chest.

“Jeraya?” Alyidil asked.

“I’m fine,” I said tightly.

“I’m sorry,” Lal Keshia said again. I heard movement, and when I finally opened my eyes, the other four women were outside my room, and Lal Keshia was in the doorway, watching me.

“Wait!” I said. “If you take that last lamp away, I won’t be able to see.”

“Oh, right.” She gestured. “There is a stone on the top of the bookcase. You’ll see it.”

“In the dark.”

“Yes,” she said. “In the dark.”

“Please don’t leave me in here like this.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again. Then she backed out of the doorway. The door closed, and I heard them bolt and bar it.

I got up and ran to the door, banging on it with my hand. “Don’t leave me here!”

“I’m sorry, Jeraya,” she said. Again. She wasn’t that sorry. I wasn’t sure she was sorry about a single thing.

I turned around and, like I had the first night they took me, I slumped, sliding down the door to sit on the floor, my back to it.

I tried very hard not to cry.

* * * *

Finally, I pulled myself back up. There was a little light, very little, and when I turned, I could see the stone on the bookcase.

It glowed. “Magic,” I whispered.

It wasn’t very bright. It didn’t fill the room with light. But it illuminated the top of the bookcase. I moved to it and held my hand out to it. I felt no heat, but I touched it carefully. It was cool, like any stone might be. So, I picked it up and stared at it.

It wasn’t a stone. It was a crystal. Quartz, I thought. And it glowed with an inner light, pale blue light. It was pretty. Quite pretty, actually.

I wondered how long it would last.

But I used the pale, dim light of the stone to let me explore my prison for a while. I found more details I hadn’t noticed before, but there was no clear route to escape. I tried the door, and it was securely closed. I wouldn’t be leaving until they let me out.

I moved to the bed and lay down on my side, curling up again, then squirming around to pull covers over me. I cupped the stone and stared into it.

I missed Alyidil. We’d been literally in constant physical contact for more than two weeks, and I missed her touch. Two weeks ago, I wouldn’t have predicted that. Who would have thought I’d feel nostalgic for our travel here? Who would have predicted I’d begin to grow tender towards the woman who had helped to do this to me?

I stared at the stone and thought my heart would begin to harden again. That felt like the appropriate response to my situation.

* * * *

I slept for a while. I had nightmares, and when I woke from them, I wasn’t holding the stone. I nearly went into a panic, but as the only source of light in the room, it wasn’t difficult to find. I cupped it then wondered what I would need to do to keep it safe.

I wasn’t sure what would happen if it fell to the floor. But I stared into its light, and it felt like the only anchor for my sanity.

The bed was not large, but I had two pillows. I took one and set it on the rug beside the bed, then carefully set the stone atop the pillow. It wasn’t bright enough to see its light unless I looked directly at it, so I shifted until I was partly hanging off the edge of the bed, staring at the light.

I dozed for a while. I woke. I tried to go back to sleep, but instead I collected the stone and sat up, pulling the blankets around me but leaning against the wall with my knees up. I cupped the stone.

I sat that way for a while. Eventually I got up, pulled my sandals back on, and prowled the room again. A new escape route hadn’t materialized while I slept. Nor had the door become unbolted. I didn’t think it had.

I reached the bookcase, staring down at it. Finally, I crouched down and tried to look through what books I had. Eventually I pulled one at random and moved back to the bed.

* * * *

It took four books before I found one I could even understand. Oh, they weren’t in a foreign language, but they were about things I knew nothing about. The first was about politics. The second was about business. The third discussed shipping. The fourth was a story.

I had to hold the light over the page, and move it back and forth besides. But I could read, and it was really the only choice open to me, so that’s what I did.

* * * *

They brought me lunch. I said nothing when they came in. I didn’t even look at them. Alyidil knelt down before me and tried to look into my eyes, but I looked away from her. But then when she began to leave, I launched myself at her, hugging her about the legs, panting while trying to avoid crying. She set her hands on my head and said nothing, but we stayed like that for a while.

I knew she couldn’t stay. I didn’t think I could handle it if she tried to pull away from me. So slowly I unwrapped, and I continued to kneel, looking down at her feet. She kept her hands on my head, so finally I said, my voice raw, “I know you can’t stay.”

“I would,” she said.

“I believe you. I’ll be fine.” I was sure I was lying.

* * * *

I was curled up on the bed hours and hours later when I heard them at the door again. Finally, it opened, spilling light into my prison. Someone entered, and I heard her collect the tray from lunch. I hadn’t eaten that much. And then I heard Lal Keshia’s voice. “You may have dinner in here, or you may join us.”

At that I rolled over and sat up, blinking away the light from my eyes. “Are you going to use fresh magic to bind me?”

“No. We’ll use more mundane methods. We’ll hobble your ankles. That will be sufficient.”

I nodded and stuck my legs out.

Filfoyss and Mayolin tied them. They used one rope connecting my ankles, and then another above my knees. The ropes were just loose enough I could slowly hobble. I stared and said, “I’m going to need help.”

“Ready?” Mayolin asked. I held out my hands, and they pulled me to my feet. Then, moving slowly, they helped me upstairs.

We had dinner. I said very little, almost nothing. Afterwards, I sat there as the others cleaned up. Lal Keshia and I said nothing to each other, and the entire dinner conversation had been subdued.

But then they helped me to the sitting room. Lal Keshia pulled a chair in front of mine then leaned forward and took my hands. I didn’t fight her. “We’re going to demonstrate my magic, and once you’re convinced, we’ll discuss improving your situation.”

“It won’t be enough,” I muttered.

She didn’t respond to that. Instead she said, “I prepared before dinner. The spell is primed and ready.” She dropped one of my hands, lifted her hand to the side of my head, and spoke a single word. What word? I have no idea. But it was a word of magic, and it bore into me. And then she said, “You will not discuss pink bunnies.”

The magic wrapped further around me, and it squeezed a little. I looked up at her, my eyes wide. She smiled. “Tell me about woodland creatures, Jeraya.”

I opened my mouth. I closed it. I did that a few more times.

“It shouldn’t be that encompassing,” Lal Keshia said.

“I can talk about deer,” I said. “See? And rabbits. But…” And then I shut my mouth again.

“Perhaps you would like to try writing about pink bunnies?”

The thought made me very, very uncomfortable, and I turned away, shaking my head. “I don’t want to think about this. Please don’t ask me to think about this.”

“All right,” she said gently. “Do you believe me?”

“I believe if you don’t want me to talk about you, you can stop me. But you said it wears off.”

“And I said we’d be long gone when it does.”

“You’d give up everything here to avoid a more permanent solution.”

“Yes,” she said. “I would. I can’t prove that. At some point, you have to take me on faith. I know that’s difficult.”

I couldn’t see her leaving if she didn’t have to. I didn’t tell her that. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone, not in time for it to matter.

In a way, that should have been reassuring. It wasn’t. It only made me feel even more helpless, as if that were possible. She had all this power, and I had none, none at all.

“What are you going to do with me?”

“I’ve considered and discarded a number of things. I thought about letting people sit with you, but not only can I not afford them, I’m not letting anyone open your door when she’s alone.” I didn’t blame her for that.

“There are things I can do. We can bring you upstairs in the evenings, when we are done with our tasks for the day. We’re all tired, and it’s late, but that’s something.” She paused. “Did you read?”

“A little,” I said. “I got a headache.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t make the stone any brighter.”

“You could shackle me up here.”

“That would leave marks upon your skin. I could do that for a couple of weeks, but do you think the room downstairs will be easier to bear later, when I put you there to heal?”

“No.”

“No. And so we will discuss other options. Alyidil has offered to stay nights with you. The bed is small, however. I fear neither of you would sleep well. However, if you think it will help, we can try it. The beds upstairs are too large for that room, but we can find something in the village.”

I looked at Alyidil. “You don’t mind?”

“No, Jeraya. I don’t mind.”

“I’d like that,” I whispered.

“I don’t know how much more I can do,” she said. “It’s only a few weeks. We’ll prepare the house first, and then we begin to prepare you.”

“What does that mean?”

“For now, you’ll have to trust me, but you’re going to love it. As much as we’re ignoring you now, it will be entirely the opposite. On my world, you would spend a month of people seeing to everything you could desire. You may grow quite sick of us.”

“I’m already sick of you. I’ve been sick of you since before we even met.”

She laughed. “I imagine, but I still believe you’d accept being bound to me ahead of solitude.”

“Don’t let that thought go to your head.”

“Do you want to talk about pink bunnies?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? You could talk about how cute they are.”

“Don’t gloat,” I said.

“How about if we play a little game, but then it is time for bed. I imagine you’re not tired, but everyone else is.”

“All right.”

* * * *

The bed was small for two of us. I apologized to Alyidil. “Perhaps you should snuggle,” she offered. We both squirmed around, and I got comfortable, lying with my head on her shoulder. I could feel the wall behind me, and I knew she could feel the edge of the bed. But she said, “I missed you today.”

We lay quietly after that. It was some time later that I said, “This is nice, but I bet you can’t sleep with me like this. What would be best for you?”

“You could spoon me,” she offered.

“I’d like that, Alyidil.”

I let her pull her arm from me. She squirmed around. I squirmed. And, together, we fit. I smiled. I rather liked knowing she had to press against me like this. I couldn’t go anywhere, as my bottom was pressed to the wall with only the padding of blankets between us, and so I was pinned between Alyidil and the wall. And I didn’t mind at all.

So much for my heart growing harder.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“I’d rather be here with you,” she replied.

“Thank you,” I said again.

* * * *

No, I don’t think either of us slept that well. In the morning, before she left, I clung to her. “If you need to sleep upstairs, I understand.”

“I’ll be here every night, if you invite me,” she replied. She kissed my cheek. “I know this part is hard, but you can sleep a little more. We’ll have this evening and again tonight.”

I held tightly but slowly released her. She kissed my cheek once more before she left.

* * * *

The second day was better than the first, and I knew that was entirely because of Alyidil, and the confidence she’d be back tonight. I was miserable, but not as miserable.

Still, I wasn’t at all accustomed to no activity, and that part was quite difficult for me. So, I read, and I napped, and I tried not to think bad thoughts. Of course, I failed, but I tried.

* * * *

It was in the evening another day later that Lal Keshia said to me, “Alyidil is not sleeping very well.”

I dropped my gaze, but the news was not as bad as I thought it might be.

“We couldn’t find a bed, but we’re going to make something.”

“Does she have to sleep upstairs until it’s ready?”

“No, Jeraya.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “Are there more books?”

“You can’t have read all of them.”

“I don’t understand most of them,” I replied. “The one about Sendisha made me angry.”

“Oh. I didn’t know that was in there. Which ones did you like?”

“The stories,” I said.

“I’ll see what else we can buy.”

“Do you have money? Books are dear.”

“I have money for books,” she said.

“Thank you.”

* * * *

The time passed. It was three days later that they had the bigger bed. They wouldn’t let me help, and so I stood with Lal Keshia as the others pulled the old bed out. The new one came into my room in pieces. They assembled it, and then they filled the mattress. I stared when I realized it was half straw and half down. I hadn’t realized I’d been sleeping on actual down. I just knew it had been very comfortable, but I’d never slept on down before and hadn’t recognized it.

Lal Keshia said she wasn’t rich, but I decided she didn’t know what most people would consider ‘rich’, if she could give me a bed of down.

When they were done, and the bed was entirely ready, Lal Keshia turned to me. “That should help.”

I felt my eyes water. “Thank you,” I whispered.

She lifted her hand to my cheek. “I’d make this easier for you if I could.”

* * * *

After that, it was better for Alyidil. It was still cozy, but it was better. Still, I desperately wanted to touch her as we slept. I was afraid she’d pull away from me, but if we separated, she was as likely to pursue me as I was to chase her, and we spent our nights tightly pressed together. And if I was miserable during the day, my nights were better.

Oh, we didn’t become lovers. We didn’t touch in that fashion, in spite of wearing very little clothing. The need for skin to skin contact was gone, but we had both grown accustomed, and there hadn’t even been a discussion.

There was a part of me that was convinced they were only being this nice to me because they wanted me to stay meek. I recognized that. But I also recognized I didn’t care.

I was falling in love with Alyidil.

Preparing Me

I didn’t ask about the preparations for the house. Some of them were obvious. They brought in fresh greenery, all throughout the main floor. The windows were spotless. The woodwork gleamed. I knew more was happening, and sometimes I heard it, but I never asked.

But then things changed. Lal Keshia didn’t normally come when the others retrieved me each morning. But this time she came, and she said, “It is time to begin to prepare the host.”

“Should I be frightened?”

“No. We’ll begin after breakfast.”

And then instead of letting me eat in my cell, they bound my legs but then brought me upstairs. We sat for breakfast, and I tried not to be nervous.

Once breakfast was finished, and the others had cleaned up while Lal Keshia and I sat, not talking to each other, she finally said, “Jeraya, I want you to let us do to you what we want.”

“I imagine you do.”

“I think you’ll enjoy it.”

“I find it unlikely.”

I would turn out to be wrong, wonderfully wrong.

“We have another room. You probably heard our efforts. Come.” Alyidil and Mayolin helped me stand, and then I made my slow way, following Lal Keshia.

There was a new room. I couldn’t remember what it had been before, but it looked out over the garden. The walls were white. The floor was tile. And there was a large, steaming tub.

Filfoyss locked the door. Lal Keshia turned to me. “You could break through the windows. You’d get hurt.”

“I won’t,” I whispered.

“Let us do what we want,” she said. And then, surprising me, she was the one who knelt before me. She untied my legs. She removed my sandals. And then I stood still as she took the dress from me.

Filfoyss and Burquiri then did all the same to Lal Keshia. I looked away, but then, fascinated, I turned to watch.

She had an amazing body.

“We will do this differently each day,” she said. “Today, I will be in the tub with you.” Then she took my hands and began stepping backwards. She led me to the tub. Filfoyss and Burquiri helped her into it, and then Alyidil and Mayolin helped me.

The water was warm, very warm, but it felt nice as Lal Keshia encouraged me to lie back. Then, facing each other, with her legs to my right, and mine to her right, we both sank to our necks.

They bathed me. No one had bathed me since I was a child. But they bathed me, each taking responsibility for a portion of my body. It was Lal Keshia who did my feet and my legs, as much as she could reach.

I said nothing, but I moaned in pleasure a few times. At one point, Lal Keshia said, “And you doubted me.”

“Don’t gloat,” I whispered. “Are you going to do this to me every day?”

“Yes.”

I opened my eyes. “Really?”

“Every day. We begin to scent the water.”

They bathed me, and they were very thorough. At one point, I tried to stop Filfoyss, but Lal Keshia simply said, “She needs to do that, Jeraya.”

“I can do it myself.”

“Let her do it.”

I opened my eyes and smiled. “You do it.”

“When it’s my turn, I will,” she replied. “Let her do it.”

I looked at her then closed my eyes and slowly released my grip on Filfoyss’ wrist. What she did felt nice, although it was very weird at the same time.

Eventually, they helped me from the water. Lal Keshia left first, and she dried herself, but all five of them helped me, and they showed great care. And then they dried me before lowering a fresh dress over me.

They led me to a chair, and the pampering continued. They brushed and dried my hair. In the meantime, Lal Keshia and Mayolin saw to my feet. They trimmed my nails and worked to soften my callouses. Then Lal Keshia painted the nails with silver paint. They moved to my hands. I closed my eyes and let them do whatever they wanted.

I’d never received so much attention.

“Are you going to do this every day, too?”

“Yes,” she said. “And other things. Some of this is to make you perfect, and some is to practice, and to see what works best for you. Today we try silver. Tomorrow we will try another color.”

She did my hands. And then she did my face as well. I’d never painted my face. The paints were expensive, and I’d never paid for them.

She finished, and then the others worked on my hair, braiding it one way. Lal Keshia shook her head, so they brushed it all out. In the end, at least that day, I would end up wearing my hair straight, or as straight as my curls allowed.

“That’s enough for today,” she said eventually.

“May I see?”

“There is a mirror.” They gathered my arms and moved me slowly, carefully. “So, you don’t take a bruise.”

I thought it was ridiculous.

We came to a stop in front of the mirror, and if I wasn’t wearing my hair and my violet eyes, I may not have recognized myself. I looked very strange, and I didn’t know if I liked it.

Lal Keshia stepped into place behind me, setting her hands on my shoulders. “You don’t care for it.”

“I don’t know what to make of it.”

“Today we try this. Tomorrow will be different. I think I should have started this part sooner. I may not have time to find the perfect look for you.”

“My appearance is so unusual?”

“The women from my home have straight, red hair. You have these curls.” She fingered my hair. “It changes much about you.”

“Your goddess won’t want me.”

“That is possible,” she replied. “But I think she will recognize the distance from which I call her, and she will be curious. She will know we have done the best we can to please her, and curiosity may be sufficient.”

I turned around. We were nearly nose to nose, although she was taller. I looked up at her. “Do I need to do anything?”

“Only allow us to do these things to you.”

“Is this what you would do if you were home?”

“Yes. The details might be different, but yes, just like this.”

“All right. Are you putting me back in my room?”

“No. Our other preparations are complete. Would you like to play a game?”

“Yes!”

They bound my legs, but they brought me to the parlor, and we played a card game until it was time to prepare dinner.

* * * *

Before bed, they gently washed my face, and so the only lingering signs of their efforts were my painted nails, and a very slightly floral scent in my hair. They closed me in with Alyidil, and I turned to her, standing before her with the dim light from the stone between us. “What did you think of my face today?”

“You looked very odd,” she replied. She lifted her hand and brushed fingertips across my lips. I held still for it. “I liked the silver.”

I smiled. “Did you think of kissing me?”

“Yes.”

“Then I think you should.”

“Not now,” she said. “It was the silver that I liked.” Before I could become offended, though, she brought us together.

And I had my first kiss in a long time.

We didn’t do more than that. It was one kiss. But at the time, it also felt like a promise. We kissed, and it was lovely, but then she took my hands, and we helped each other undress for bed.

And then, there in the dark, we held each other.

* * * *

The next day was very similar, although it was Mayolin in the water with me, and Mayolin who later removed the old color from my nails. She then buffed my feet and hands before applying a new color, this time gold. Then she did my face, my lips also gold, but she gave my eyes a darker, smokier look.

When I looked in the mirror, I liked it better. It wasn’t perfect, but I liked what she had done.

Lal Keshia again stood behind me. “I liked this part.” She gestured to my eyes.

“I do, too.”

“It is time for your massage, and then a game.”

That night, Alyidil and I kissed again, twice this time, before climbing into bed together. “Let me spoon you,” she said, and so I rolled away from her. She held me all night.

* * * *

It took nearly our entire time, but I stood before the mirror. I thought I looked beautiful and exotic.

I thought I looked sexy. I’d never used that word for myself before.

“Like this,” I whispered.

From behind me, Lal Keshia said, “Yes. But your hair.” She ran her fingers through it. “We’ve tried everything.”

“Like this,” I said. “Down. Everything you’ve tried has been worse.”

“Keep it simple,” Alyidil suggested. Then she smiled. “I liked when we painted her entire body.”

“That was in fun,” Lal Keshia said. “Shi`nual would not like it.”

I turned around and looked up at Lal Keshia. “What happens?”

“The full moons are in two more nights,” she said. “We will spend the day. There are traditional foods. Fruits, breads. Simple foods.”

“I can’t imagine we have the same foods.”

“You don’t, but we use what we have. You don’t move. You must be very, very careful, Jeraya.”

“You barely let me move now.” And they didn’t. Every move was carefully mapped. If we were to play cards, they put me in a chair, and then they brought the table to me, making sure I didn’t bump myself. At any point where I could stub a toe, they made sure I didn’t. At night, they put me to bed, and then Alyidil was very careful. They’d even made sure to trim her nails very short, and they kept them filed and soft as well, so she wouldn’t accidentally scratch me.

“You mustn’t accidentally bite your tongue,” Lal Keshia said.

“Ah. I’ll be careful.”

“We’ll see to you, like we have been, but we do everything we’ve been doing. The bath, the massages, everything.”

“And then?”

“And then we perform the ritual. Exactly at midnight, we will know if Shi`nual accepts our invitation.”

“Have you done this before, helped someone become a host?”

“Yes,” she said. “Not for myself, but for someone else.”

“Someone else was the host.”

“No. Well, yes.” She gestured to her own appearance, making a point. “But there is always someone like me. You are serving as a host for Shi`nual, but you are doing so for me. Do you see?”

“Oh. Oh, I see. Did she accept?”

“Once, when I helped. That is more than many can say.”

She lifted her eyes, looking over my shoulder. I smiled and said, “I hope she comes for you, Lal Keshia.”

She dropped her eyes back to mine. “Do you?”

“What your sister did is wrong. I hope Shi`nual can help you.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I only get three questions. If she takes pity on me, she may offer to carry a message, or to tell me of my wife.”

“Do you know your questions?”

“I’ve thought about them for years.”

“All right. Good.”

Ritual

I knew I was as perfect as I could be. I had taken no bruises or bumps. Alyidil hadn’t scratched me. My skin was as soft and sweet as it had ever been. My hair was perfect. My face was as perfect as I thought it could be.

Shortly before sunset, we moved to the parlor. There was a high-backed chair waiting for me. Mapping my movements carefully, they led me to the chair.

It was Lal Keshia who freed my legs, but then Mayolin handed her a scarf, and she tied it around one ankle, and my ankle to the chair. It was while she was tying the second ankle that I asked, “Is this normal?”

“No.”

I said not a word as they tied my wrists and then my upper arms. But then I asked, my voice a whisper, “Are you going to hurt me?”

“No, Jeraya,” Lal Keshia said. “I am only making sure.” She looked into my eyes. “You have accepted your role, but if you see a chance to run, I still wonder if you would take it.”

I didn’t deny it. I thought she might be right.

“I wonder what Shi`nual will say about moving into a host who is tied to a chair.”

“The scarves untie with a single tug each. Please don’t be angry.”

I looked at the knots and said nothing, but I thought if the goddess didn’t come, they were prepared to kill me.

* * * *

There was nothing else I needed to do for the ritual but sit. There were foods involved, and oils on my skin. There were words said I didn’t understand, and candles burned.

Lal Keshia slowly draped me in jewelry, and when my lips became smudged, she fixed them.

As it grew closer to midnight, they did other things. They switched places periodically, but I found Alyidil and Mayolin kissing my fingers. Lal Keshia kissed my feet, which made me giggle.

They touched. They stroked. They waved the smoke of a vanilla-scented candle through my hair, and then they used more vanilla to scent my hair, although it was subtle.

Lal Keshia continued to chant. It sounded inviting. She kissed my feet again, and then they all did, and my hands as well.

And then I said, “I feel funny.”

I thought it was from the food, or the candles, or just the hour. My head lolled. Lal Keshia looked into my eyes and smiled. “She is considering. Oh, Jeraya, she hears and is considering.”

I offered a weak smile.

After that, I tried to pay attention, but it became harder, and harder.

And then I cried out before knowing nothing else.

Unhappy Goddess

I came to awareness. My arms and legs were untied, and I was holding one arm up, looking at the scarves dangling from it. I lifted the other arm, and then I bent over to look at both ankles.

I spoke sharply, words I didn’t know. The five of them were kneeling to me, their heads to the floor, Lal Keshia directly before me. I spoke sharply, and the only sound I recognized was her name.

She spoke.

And then the world disappeared, but when I could see again, I was standing. The world was grey, like I was standing in the thickest fog. But then the mists parted slightly, and I saw a woman walking towards me.

Myself.

I stared at her. I stared at myself as I walked to myself.

She came to a stop, frowning. She spoke, and I didn’t understand. She reached for me, but I pulled from her.

She spoke soothingly, and I recognized the tone of someone calming a skittish colt. I listened, and when it was clear she was only trying to calm me, I approached her. And she held still as I lifted my hand to her cheek.

“You’re me,” I said. “I think you’re Shi`nual.”

At that, she smiled and set her hand to her chest “Shi`nual,” she said, the accent quite different from how I had said it. She moved closer, and this time I didn’t pull away. She moved closer and lifted her hands, and I didn’t shy away.

I let her set a hand to the back of my head, and when she pulled our foreheads together, I let her.

Everything disappeared. I could feel her, but I couldn’t see. It felt… weird. It felt like she was rifling through my clothes, or something. But I let her do what she wanted.

I don’t know how long that went on. A while. But then I could see again, and she was smiling at me, her hand on my cheek. She pulled me closer.

And kissed me.

It was a sweet, gentle kiss. And then I could see out of my regular eyes.

The five were still kneeling. I spoke, words I didn’t understand. And Lal Keshia said, “Jeraya, you should be able to hear me. She wants you to talk to her. Tell her your story.”

I tried to say, “I don’t understand,” but nothing came out. I wasn’t the one in control.

And then the view faded, and we were back in the fog, but Shi`nual stood before me, still caressing my cheek. “Jeraya,” she said. And then she brushed my lips.

“Shi`nual,” I said. “I don’t understand.” And here, I could speak. “Lal Keshia told me to tell you my story. That will take some time.”

She leaned in and kissed me again, then gestured. There was a sofa, and we sat down together, side by side, holding hands, turned to face each other. She brushed my lips again.

And so, I told my story, everything from that day in the market until today. It took time, a long time. When I was done, she bowed her head. “I am sorry.”

“You understood?”

“You taught me your words,” she said. “Yes.”

“I don’t understand.”

“When we communed,” she said, looking up. “But I needed to hear you speak.” She offered a smile. “I am a goddess, Jeraya. This is a small thing.” She caressed my cheek. “Jeraya, you are safe. You are entirely safe. Lal Keshia couldn’t even dream of hurting you. It would be no different than if she hurt me, and that would be a great sacrilege.”

“You’ll leave, though.”

“That changes nothing. She won’t hurt you. She won’t even use her magic on you.”

“I’m fairly sure she will, to keep me from talking.”

“No, Jeraya. You won’t tell anyone what she has done.”

“Because you won’t let me.”

“Because I am asking you not to.”

I stared at her, and then I nodded. “All right.”

“When my host makes a promise to me, it is binding, Jeraya.”

“So, I can never tell?”

“You may speak of me. And when you are old, you may tell your grandchildren the entire story, if you wish.”

“I am to tell them of a goddess who came to me? They won’t believe me.”

“They’ll believe,” she said. “Now, would you like to see me yell at Lal Keshia?”

I grinned. “Yes.”

“Let us start with that.”

Everything faded, and then I could see them, still kneeling. “Lal Keshia,” I said. “You used an unwilling host. You should be ashamed.”

“I know,” Lal Keshia replied from the floor. “But did she tell you she would have come if I’d asked politely?”

“I didn’t ask. That is irrelevant. I have never accepted an unwilling host before, and the only reason I am still here is because of my own curiosity.”

“Please don’t go,” I said, or tried to. Nothing came out.  That was frustrating, and I tried again. And then my body said, “I hear you, Jeraya. But she didn’t tell you half the things she should have.”

And then she switched languages, and she began to berate Lal Keshia. That went on for a while.

* * * *

The world faded again, and then I was on the sofa, holding hands with myself. With the goddess, but she looked like me. She smiled. “She won’t do that again.”

“There’s so much I didn’t believe.”

“I understand,” she replied. “This hair.” She ran fingers through my hair. “I do not remember the last time my host had hair quite like this. I think I like it. It suits us, at least here, in this place.”

“Thank you for coming,” I told her. “I don’t know the rules. She said she only gets three questions. I don’t want to waste them for her.”

“She gets three questions. You may ask anything you want. Her questions I must answer. That is the pact we make when I accept this offer. Your answers depend on whether the questions amuse me. I will be vexed, however, if you ask questions on her behalf.”

“I don’t want to vex you, but can you help her?”

“I’ll answer questions like that if you promise not to tell Lal Keshia.”

“I’ll keep it to myself, at least until I tell my grandchildren about you.”

“I can help her, but perhaps not the way she hopes.”

“You know what she wants.”

“You told me enough, and I already had the other pieces of the story.”

“That’s good then. Perhaps not as good as she hopes.”

“No, not as good as she hopes,” Shi`nual said. “But let’s not worry about that for now. Jeraya, I have never accepted an unwilling host.”

“Are you leaving?”

“Are you suggesting you might have grown willing?”

“No. I am not suggesting anything. I’m ready to beg for you to stay.”

She smiled broadly and caressed my cheek again. “You do not know everything that implies. And I do not feel like being the one to tell you, so I believe we shall let Lal Keshia explain it.”

“If I want to talk to you, I just try?”

“Yes, although this is easier for both of us. If I remain, you and I will spend much time here.”

I looked around. “It’s a little bland.”

She laughed and made a gesture, and the grey turned into a grand palace. I gawked and turned back to her. She smiled. “Is that real?”

“This is all in your mind,” she replied. “I am not touching your body. I am touching you, the inner you, and you are touching the inner me. I don’t really have an outer me. I have an inner me, and I have your body for as long as you are my host.”

“Is that why you accept these offers?”

“It is part of the reason. I enjoy living in a mortal body. Are you ready to listen to Lal Keshia explain what it means if you should truly beg for me to stay?”

“All right.”

The world faded, and we were back in the parlor.

“Serve us,” Shi`nual said. “I am not pleased with you, Lal Keshia. Not only did you use an unwilling host, but you kept her deeply ignorant.”

“I didn’t want her more frightened than she already was. She is an innocent.”

“The rest of you,” Shi`nual said. “Wine. And more of the fruit.” We stood, and the scarves fluttered. “Take these from my body. Now!”

They all scurried. The scarves were removed. Wine was poured. Apples were sliced. And I found myself seated on the sofa, Burquiri feeding me apple slices from her own fingers, Lal Keshia still kneeling to me.

“How long are you going to make her stay there?” I asked.

“I haven’t decided,” I replied. “Lal Keshia, your wife misses you.”

Before me, she gave a gasp, and then she was shuddering. And then I moved from the sofa, kneeling to her and crooning. “She is well,” I said. “Publicly, your sister mourned. It is believed you were lost at sea. Your wife accepted an invitation to her home. I am sorry, Lal Keshia. I think this was one of your questions, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Come here.” We moved back onto the sofa and opened our arms. Lal Keshia accepted the invitation, and we held her. “Whether I stay to answer your questions,” I said, “You should have known that much.”

“Does that count as one of her three?” I asked from inside.

“No,” she replied. “Jeraya is asking questions. No, that does not count as one of your questions, but it is the only free answer you will receive.”

“Did you know the truth?” I asked silently.

“Yes,” I replied aloud. “But unless someone asks, I do not interfere, and no one asked. Nur Mareet tried to summon me, but I did not think telling her the truth was in her best interests, so I took another offer.”

“Thank you,” Lal Keshia said. “Lal Selgen will give her a good life.”

“Yes, well,” I said. “You left my host ignorant. Fix that.”

Lal Keshia nodded and pushed away, looking into my eyes. “Jeraya, Shi`nual has no body of her own. To enjoy life, she accepts offers like this. She stays with one host for as long as it amuses her to do so. That may be until she receives a new offer that amuses her, or it may be until she grows bored for other reasons.”

“I wouldn’t say bored,” I said. “I would say I leave for reasons I don’t care to explain to everyone here.”

“Does that mean if I asked you more privately, you might answer?”

“I might,” she said. “Keep going, Lal Keshia.”

I sipped at my wine while watching the elf. She looked away, and I laughed. “Embarrassed, Lal Keshia?”

“She is an innocent.”

“She isn’t that innocent.”

“She has shared a bed with Alyidil for nearly two months, and they’ve barely touched each other.”

“What is she talking about?” I asked. “We’ve been pressed tightly together every night.”

“That’s not the sort of touch she means, Jeraya.”

“Don’t tell anyone else this, but we kiss before we go to bed.”

“Jeraya, do you think that’s what she means?”

“I know what she means,” I said.

“Keep going,” I said to Lal Keshia.

“Shi`nual enjoys living life to the fullest.”

“She’s talking about sex, isn’t she?”

“Let her tell you,” I replied to myself.

“Tell her what I asked.”

“You do not make demands, Host,” she said, then continued. “Jeraya asks if you are talking about sex?”

“That’s part of it,” Lal Keshia said. “Exotic foods. Adventures you are likely to hate.”

“I was nearly eaten by a snake once,” she said. “I was going to let the snake do it, too, except my host was screaming and begging me, and I realized that I wouldn’t have been hurt, but it would have killed her, and that would be a horrible thing to do to her. That was a long time ago, and now I’m more careful.”

“I didn’t know about that,” Lal Keshia said.

“The rules for my magic are rather complicated. I can’t heal you if I get you killed, but anything that doesn’t kill you I can repair. However, I can’t necessarily heal the people around you.”

They both grew still, and then finally I asked, “Can we go talk?”

“Of course.”

It took a moment, but then we were seated beside the cliff. I gave it a look. “This is in my mind, and I can’t really fall.”

“Sorry,” she said. “I’ll warn you next time.”

“Thank you,” I told her. “What happens now?”

“Now you decide if you remain reluctant.”

I turned to look out at the ocean. It was beautiful, with the two moons overhead. “How long would you stay?”

“The next time I might be summoned somewhere else is in… Hmm. Approximately 47 days.”

“You said you would tell me why you would leave early.”

“You must promise to tell no one.”

“My grandchildren?”

“You may tell them this part. I leave if I am mentally unhealthy for my host. Some become too frightened by what I enjoy, and some are… Well, they don’t care for my tastes.”

“Is that last part about sex again?”

“Yes. Some simply find me overwhelming. Some start to go a little mad, because until I leave, your body is entirely mine, and you can’t do so much as scratch if you have an itch. Furthermore, you need sleep, and so you do, but I do not. You can wake up at rather startling periods. Some find that deeply upsetting.”

“I sleep, but my body does not.” She nodded. “I can understand that. If I invite you to stay, will you?”

“Yes.”

“You said there were more reasons. I won’t tell anyone.”

She talked for a minute or two.

* * * *

I sat quietly, looking out at the moonlit water. “It looks so real.”

“To you, it is,” she said. She moved closer and put her arm around me.

“What is our body doing while we’re sitting here?”

“Taking a total of about five breaths,” she said. “Time here passes differently, although it doesn’t have to. Jeraya, if you invite me to stay, I won’t ask permission of you for my other choices, and if you become tedious, I either leave or simply shut off your ability to talk to me.”

“I want you to stay,” I said. “If you can help Lal Keshia, I want you to help her. May I make further requests?”

“You may ask.”

“I’d rather you didn’t get me killed or… Hmm. Tattooed.” I actually had a long list of things I wished she wouldn’t do, but I was pretty sure she’d probably do some.

“I’ve never been to this world. I am sure I can find plenty to do.”

“Thank you,” I said. “Please stay. Do I need to beg?”

“No, Jeraya. I only wanted a heartfelt invitation. Are you sure you understand?”

“You’re going to have sex with Lal Keshia, and I’m going to be along for the ride.”

“Jeraya, not just Lal Keshia.”

“Oh,” I said.

“How do you feel knowing that your body will be making love to Alyidil, but it’s me she’s making love to, and not you?”

“Sounds like fun.”

“And that sounds like bravado.”

“I want you to stay,” I said.

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why?”

“It’s a simple question. Why do you want me to stay?”

“Because Lal Keshia needs your help.”

“I think there’s more than that.”

“Does it matter?”

“I think it does,” she said. She turned to me, and I found myself rotating as well. And we were sitting very close, our legs entwined. She brushed at my cheek. “Have you ever made love to a woman, Jeraya?”

“No.”

“Have you thought about it?”

“Yes.”

“How about men?”

“Once.”

“Only once.”

“Only once,” I confirmed.

“Jeraya, you’re not ready for this.”

“I don’t see any other red-headed women with violet eyes making this offer, Shi`nual.” I smiled. “I bet I learn a few things.”

She laughed. “Oh, that’s absolutely true.”

“Please don’t leave,” I said. “If I’m horribly shocked, you can send me here and have your fun, I bet.”

“I don’t like doing that to you.”

“Please tell me you’ll stay.”

She considered me, and then she drew me to her. We kissed, rather deeply, and I melted against her. We kissed, and then she held me. “This feels real, and you feel very nice.”

“I’ll stay, but I’m not very good about containing myself, Jeraya.”

“Then don’t,” I replied. “I’ve heard people in the inn, and I’ve received a variety of offers.”

“Oh? And there’s something you want?”

“Sometimes people talk about spanking someone.”

“You want me to let Lal Keshia spank us?”

“Absolutely not, but if you spank her, I’m perfectly happy with that. She needs a good spanking.”

She roared with laughter.

Debauched

We came to awareness. Burquiri was offering us an apple. I opened my mouth, and she slipped it inside. I kissed her fingers, and she let me. Then I looked around. “Lal Keshia, Jeraya has begged me to stay, and she has begged me to help you as much as I am able.”

“She did?”

“She did,” I confirmed. I stood, looked around, and said, “Take me to your bed.” But then I settled my gaze. “Alyidil, you have a decision to make.”

“I’ll do whatever you want, Goddess,” she said.

“No,” I replied. “I am quite happy to order Lal Keshia, but to the others, I only offer. You may join us, but if you decline, I’ll offer more widely.”

“What does Jeraya want?”

“Jeraya begged me to stay, and she understood the implications. But you would be with me, not her.”

“But she’s inside, watching.”

“Yes.”

“Tell her I said ‘yes’,” I said.

“You be quiet, Jeraya.”

“Tell her.”

“This is her decision, and mine, not yours,” she said. “Hush, or I won’t let you watch.”

“You’re not going to tell me what she’s telling you?” Alyidil asked.

“You have to decide what you want,” I said. “And perhaps trust my judgment.”

She smiled and held out her hand.

* * * *

It was Lal Keshia who led us to her room. Once we were inside, I said, “Undress us.” And then I pulled Lal Keshia into my arms. We began kissing.

Alyidil moved around, touching, undressing. I found myself cooperating, and Lal Keshia also gave up her clothing.

And then my attention shifted, and Alyidil was in my arms. We kissed, and it was very weird watching, feeling, my body responding whether I commanded it or not.

But I felt my passions rising.

I became entirely caught up in the things that were happening to me, in the things I was doing. I touched Lal Keshia here; I kissed Alyidil there. Alyidil kissed me here; Lal Keshia touched me there.

My body began panting in my pleasures. But inside, I knew that I was also panting. “Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, please.”

I tasted this; Lal Keshia tasted that. And then I felt a hand touching there. Yes, I whispered. And then, speaking for me, Shi`nual said, “Alyidil, Jeraya says yes.”

Fingers stroked. Fingers entered. And I became completely lost to the passions.

* * * *

It was everything I ever thought it could be. It was more than I ever thought it could be. Eventually, we lay together, four of us in three bodies. I could taste both of them on my mouth. Someone’s fingers were inside me again, more than fingers, although they were still. And then there was wriggling, and they withdrew. I captured a wrist and lifted fingers to Lal Keshia, who cleaned the black-skinned hand. Then I set the hand over my breast, and we all grew still.

“Thank you,” I whispered. Seconds later, I slept.

* * * *

When I woke, Shi`nual was holding me. We were alone in a room, and at first it was very confusing, then I said, “This is my mind.”

“Yes,” she said.

“Did you do more after I fell asleep?”

“Perhaps,” she replied. “How are you doing?”

“I’m wonderful,” I said, my tone dreamy. “I feel really good.”

She gave a gasp. “Good.”

“Hey!” I said. “What’s happening.”

She offered another gasp. “Are you sure you want to know?”

“Is it a man?”

“No. That isn’t one of my tastes.” She smiled and pulled me into a kiss, but then I wasn’t kissing myself.

I was kissing Filfoyss. Someone else was lapping at me, and it felt really, really good. But then, while she continued to see to me, I pulled Filfoyss around, and she perched over me, offering herself to me. I extended my tongue and then pulled her onto it.

* * * *

It wasn’t love. It was sex, pure and simple, and in a variety of combinations. Several times, I passed from awareness, but every time I woke, I was in bed with someone, or twice we were in the baths, my fingers buried inside Lal Keshia the first time and Mayolin the second.

It was a big sex fest. I’d heard that term before, but I’d never experienced one. But it was a big sex fest, and we wore the five of them out, filling us with pleasures and more pleasures.

But then I came to awareness, and I was surrounded by warm, sleeping bodies. I looked around, and then the world faded, and Shi`nual was holding me. “We finally wore them out. Five is fun.”

“Maybe you’re in control, but this is a mortal body. Shouldn’t I hurt?”

“You would, but why would I let you hurt?”

I laughed and cuddled into her.

“I want you to understand something, Jeraya.”

“Oh?”

“I’m giving you more attention than I typically give my hosts.”

“Am I special?”

“I don’t want to have to leave because I am hurting you,” she said. “And I think you need little breaks like this with me.”

“I think you’re right.”

“I probably won’t keep it up.”

“If you decide you have to leave, can you please help Lal Keshia before you do?”

“I’ll try,” she said. “It’s dawn. They’ll sleep for a while. I am going to go for a walk. Do you want to sleep or walk with me?”

“Walk with you. It’s only dawn?”

“It’s dawn, three days later.”

I laughed. “That makes more sense.”

The world faded, and then I was outside, walking from the house to the edge of the cliff. “Jeraya,” I said. “Unless it is very, very important, I would rather you no longer talk to me unless we are in the other place. It is distracting, and I prefer to experience life. The only exception to my request is that you may whisper sweet encouragement during sex. I also assume you may at other times react to what is going on, but if you are too distracting, I will take away your ability to do so.”

I said nothing, as she’d asked me kindly not to talk. And so, we walked.

We approached the edge of the cliff, looking over the edge. The waves were crashing against the rocks below. We watched them for a while before turning right and walking along the edge.

* * * *

I could see Lal Keshia’s relief when we returned. We walked straight to her and pulled her into a deep, deep kiss. “All of you come,” I said, and then I pulled Lal Keshia into the house, up the stairs, and to her bedroom. I had my dress off in seconds and then climbed onto the bed. Mayolin and Filfoyss saw to the sandals, and then I said, “Pleasure me, and we’ll discuss your questions later.”

Discussion

I lay in the bed, Alyidil and Mayolin cuddled against either side. Filfoyss was offering me food. I’d lost track of Burquiri. Lal Keshia was seated at the foot of the bed, massaging my feet. It felt quite nice.

“Ask carefully,” I said.

Lal Keshia nodded. “How do I return home?”

“How were you sent here?”

“Lal Selgen used a full coven,” she replied. “Of them, three were people I thought I could trust.”

“Are you going to spend a question on why they betrayed you?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “It will depend on earlier answers.”

“You hope I can bring you directly, or that I can make arrangements for you.”

“Hope, yes.”

“I can’t,” she said. “I cannot bring you with me. A double-coven might be able to bring you back, but it would need to include the entirety of the first coven. You can imagine the likelihood your sister would assist.”

She bent her head, focusing on my feet. I waited a minute then said, “You would need a coven here and a focus besides. They would need to be trained and powerful.”

“Magic here is very rare,” Lal Keshia replied. “I have seen nothing with more power than a few simple charms.”

“I thought so,” I replied. “You can either build a coven yourself, or you can make a home here.”

Lal Keshia grew silent, but she continued to see to my feet. It felt very nice, and I enjoyed what she was doing. I enjoyed feeling Alyidil and Mayolin cuddling with me, too. Finally, Lal Keshia said, “Building a sufficiently powerful coven would take a long time, and I would need your help.” I said nothing. She lifted her eyes. “It took years to find someone I thought you might accept as a host. There are only two moons here, and my next opportunity is five years away. I suppose that gives me the chance to try to find another host, but I have little faith. Red hair is uncommon here, and violet eyes even more so. The combination is exceedingly rare.”

“Do you want to ask your next question now, or think on it a day or three? I can give you time, Lal Keshia.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I’d hoped for a different answer.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I think… I should think.”

“That may be best,” I agreed. “Does the village have an inn that serves dinner?”

“Yes. It is simple food, but wholesome.”

“We will have dinner there. I wish to go riding. Alyidil, will you join me?”

“I’d love to.”

* * * *

We rode south, past the village, following the coast. “Alyidil,” I said, perhaps twenty minutes into the ride. “You understand that Jeraya is listening, but you should think of me as Shi`nual.”

“I understand.”

“Alyidil, Lal Keshia is going to make the wrong choice.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She is going to spend her chance asking the wrong questions. I think she can figure out the right questions, but I believe she is impatient.”

“So, tell her what to ask.”

“It doesn’t work that way. I can’t even tell you what to tell her to ask.”

“But we can have this conversation.”

“We can,” I said.

“You want to help her.”

“She needs to think this through.”

“Why are you telling me this instead of her?”

“Because you can tell her to be careful without telling her we talked.”

“I don’t understand half of this,” Alyidil said. “I don’t know what a coven is. Can you tell me?”

“No, but Lal Keshia can. You’re an intelligent woman, and she needs to talk through this with someone before she asks her next question.”

We rode quietly for several minutes before Alyidil said, “She shouldn’t talk to you until she has explained everything to me, and I’ve asked her all the questions I can think of.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” I replied. “Do not tell her we talked. If she asks, tell her you asked questions but I didn’t answer.”

“Thank you for trying to help her, Shi`nual.”

“You’re welcome, Alyidil.”

* * * *

We made it back. Lal Keshia looked pleased to see us, but Alyidil said something to the others in her language and then turned to Lal Keshia. “I’d like to speak with you, please.”

“Take your time,” I said. “Burquiri and I are going to enjoy the view of the ocean.” Then we took Burquiri’s hand, and it wasn’t long before we were making love near the cliffs. Mayolin and Filfoyss joined us a short while later, and I learned a few more things before I passed out from the bliss.

* * * *

“Wake up, Jeraya.”

I opened my eyes. I was cradled in Shi`nual’s arms. “Did you make me do that?”

“Sleep? Yes. But I want to ask you something.”

“Anything.”

“What do you want to happen when this is over?”

“When you leave, you mean?”

“After I leave.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Lal Keshia is staying here, isn’t she?”

“For now, yes,” she replied. “Maybe someday she’ll find a way to return.”

“Did you have your remaining conversations while I was sleeping?”

“Yes.”

I closed my eyes, but I didn’t squirm away from her. “Is that why you made me sleep?”

“Yes.”

“Did she ask the right questions?”

“She did.”

I opened my eyes. “That’s a good thing, then.”

“Yes. I taught her how to disguise herself. Anyone who knows what she is will see the true form, but everyone else will see nothing extraordinary.”

“Did she ask you to tell people what her sister did?”

“No. I worried she might. I worried she might look for a rapid solution.”

“Why did you make me sleep?”

“You haven’t answered my question, Jeraya. What will you do after I leave?”

“I don’t know,” I told her. “I couldn’t make my way back to Rosegrove alone, and even if I did, my job won’t be there, and they wouldn’t take me back after disappearing for a few months.”

“Family?”

“My father died in an accident; my mother died trying to give birth to my little sister. They both died.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Do you still hate Lal Keshia?”

“No.”

“Are you in love with Alyidil?”

“Yes,” I whispered. “I think so. I’ve never been in love before.”

“Do you want to stay here, with them?”

“It won’t be the same.”

“I imagine not,” she said. “I have a way of lowering inhibitions between people.”

“You’ve been having sex with Alyidil, her sister, her cousin, and her cousin’s friend. They treat each other like sisters.”

“Well, I’ve been having sex with them, and Lal Keshia has been having sex with them. But they aren’t having sex together. Although from the looks Filfoyss and Mayolin have been sharing, I’m not sure they haven’t been having sex for years. Why won’t you answer me, Jeraya?”

“Because I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“So, you are no longer convinced you want Lal Keshia punished for what she did to you?”

“I think she’s been punished enough. Are you staying a while?”

“A while. I like using your body, Jeraya. I intend to do things with it you would never, ever do. I’m going to make you watch for some of them.”

“Are you trying to scare me?”

“No. I am expressing joy. Perhaps I should leave you in this room until you’re ready to answer my questions.”

“Please don’t,” I said. “Are you in a hurry for an answer?”

“You would like to talk your way to a path forward?”

“Yes, I think I would.”

“All right. We have established you have forgiven Lal Keshia.”

“I don’t know. Have I?” I thought about it. “I hold no continued ill will towards her. Is that forgiveness?”

“It sounds like forgiveness to me. We have established you believe you are in love with Alyidil.”

“Is she in love with me?”

“The signs are that she is, but you’ll have to ask her.”

“Her first loyalty is to Lal Keshia. I don’t think I deserve coming a distant second for someone.”

“There are ways to resolve that.”

“Will you share some?”

“You could ask her to change her allegiance.”

“I don’t think I can ask her to leave her sister.”

“Or you could also offer your own loyalty.”

“To the woman who kidnapped me.”

“To the woman who you just said you’ve forgiven.”

“You’re telling me I should stay here.”

“I am only pointing out options. You could pretend you are not second, and form a life in the village. I imagine you would be disappointed from time to time, but much of the time, you could be happy. Or, of course, you can make a life apart from her.”

“I don’t want to,” I said in a subdued tone.

“Then I think you’re choosing a path. If you could help Lal Keshia return to her old home, but it would take a long time, would you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you know? I imagine you have somewhere else to be, or a more important devotion.”

“That is a somewhat obvious attempt to manipulate me.”

“Of course, she did kidnap you.”

“She did.”

“And you suffered because of it.”

“I did.”

“And she made you sleep on a down mattress.”

“In the dark.”

“And spent two weeks offering you interesting pleasures. Did you enjoy their attention?”

I laughed. “I did.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you hated her. I wouldn’t blame you if you enjoyed the idea of her suffering.”

“I don’t want anyone to suffer. Maybe her sister.”

“You have taken a side.”

“I suppose I have. If I knew her sister, would it be harder to take Lal Keshia’s side?”

“If you knew everything? Lal Keshia wasn’t an easy older sister, but true bitterness was not born until Nur Mareet chose her over Lal Selgen.”

“That’s no excuse.”

“No, it’s not. No, Jeraya, I do not believe you would change allegiance if you knew them both equally well.”

“I bet there’s a question she didn’t ask.”

“There are a dozen questions she didn’t have time to ask.”

“She didn’t ask if she is better off accepting a life here.”

“No, she didn’t. I might not have answered any more clearly than I’ve answered some of your questions. I do not believe it is in her nature to give up.”

“I can understand wanting to return to her wife, but it will be too late, won’t it?”

“I don’t know.”

“I think it will be too late. I can understand wanting to return to her friends, to her way of life, and to all the other things she is missing. But Shi`nual, I think she looks for vengeance. If she could achieve that quickly, maybe that’s not so bad, but if she spends a long, long time, what does that do to her?”

“I imagine it makes her a very hard person.”

“I don’t want to be part of that,” I said. “If I were to remain, I would certainly become fond of her. I would probably grow to love her. And I would watch her become hard and bitter. She’s already hard, and sometimes I can see she’s bitter.”

She said nothing, but she continued to hold me. Finally, I said, “That’s not the answer you wanted.”

“I didn’t expect you to realize the things you said. So, you don’t want to stay and help.”

“I’m nobody,” I said. “She needs a coven. What is that?”

“Twelve people who work powerful magic together.”

“So, I’d do what? Serve them dinner when they meet?”

“What if you were the only person who could help?”

“I’m not, though. I’m one person, and I don’t know anything about magic.”

“I want an answer to my question,” she told me. “If you were the only person who could help her, would you?”

“It’s a ridiculous question.”

“I am a goddess,” she replied. “I never ask ridiculous questions. Perhaps you aren’t ready to answer. Would you like to see what we’re about to do?”

“Will I like it?”

“It’s something you’ve never done before.”

“It sounds better than staying here,” I said, gesturing to the room.

“Excellent.”

* * * *

A moment later, I was outside near the cliffs. I looked over the edge. “Don’t distract me now,” I said. And then I threw a rock out towards the water. “One. Two. Three.” A moment later, the rock splashed into the trough of the waves below just as the preceding wave crashed into the rocks. “Perfect.”

I said nothing, but I didn’t understand. I was about to regret inviting her to stay. I turned away, walking from the cliffs, then I stopped, my head cocked. I could hear the waves as they crashed far below.

And then, with no warning at all, I spun around and ran as hard as I could.

For the cliff edge.

“No!” I screamed. And then I leapt into the air.

“No!” I screamed the entire way down.

I hit the water. It was the coldest thing I’d ever felt. I gasped, bringing in a rush of seawater. The fall hadn’t killed me, but the cold would, or I’d drown, or I’d be bashed against the rocks.

“Why?” I screamed.

And then I knew no more.

Am I Dead

I woke, and the world was grey, all grey, except for the lounger I lay upon. “She killed me,” I said. I sat up and looked around. There was nothing to see.

I was cold, and when I looked down, I was still in the dress, one of Alyidil’s dresses, I thought, and soaked to the bone.

“You killed me!” I screamed. “You killed me! Why!” I screamed the last word for a long, long time.

“You’re not dead.”

I stood and spun. I stood perhaps ten feet away, dripping water.

“I welcomed you,” I told myself. “I invited you to stay. And you jumped from a cliff into the ocean.”

“Yes, well, that was a mistake. I didn’t realize it would be so cold.”

“You didn’t know it would be cold?” I asked. “Are you kidding me? You didn’t know? That’s your excuse for killing me?”

“I didn’t kill you, but from the way Lal Keshia is going on, you would think I had.”

“You’re laughing! You killed me, and now you’re laughing about it!”

“I didn’t kill you,” she said. “I’ve told you three times now.”

“Fine. You nearly killed me. Why are we here? Is my body nearly destroyed?”

“Oh, please. I would have healed any damage. Lal Keshia is screaming at me that I owe you an apology.”

“I don’t believe you. She may be politely suggesting it. I find it unlikely she’s screaming at you. And I noticed that you don’t deny nearly killing me.”

“The water was colder than I anticipated,” she said her tone subdued.

“Did you consider what would have happened if we’d hit the rocks.”

“That’s why I measured the timing,” she said. “I timed it perfectly. We landed just after the peak of the wave.”

“And were then dashed against the rocks.”

She didn’t deny it. I spun around, showing her my back. A moment later, I felt her hands on my shoulders. “I jump from cliffs all the time. This is the first time in three hundred years…”

“That you nearly killed someone doing it?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Frankly, I don’t believe you. Do they all scream?”

“Most of them. Some tell me to do it again.”

“I won’t be doing that,” I said. “I’m cold.”

“I know. We’ll be warm again soon.”

“This place isn’t real. Why are we both wet?”

“This is the true you. Your body is cold and wet, so profoundly so that I can’t mask you from all of it. Jeraya, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t believe you!” I spun and shook a finger at her. “I invited you to stay, but I didn’t know you were an idiot.”

“I’m not an idiot!”

“Oh? Everyone knows jumping off cliffs into the ocean is a fabulous way to die. How is it a goddess doesn't realize that.”

“You didn’t die.”

“It was close, wasn’t it? It was really close. When’s the last time you apologized to someone for doing that?”

“You didn’t die, Jeraya, or we wouldn’t be here talking about it.”

“I’m owed better than this from you.”

“You’re right.”

“I am?”

“Yes. I won’t jump off any more cliffs.”

“You think this is funny!” I screamed. “It isn’t funny!”

“It wasn’t funny,” she replied. “Until I was sure you were going to be okay. But now it’s kind of funny.”

“It wasn’t funny when you coldly calculated where to jump, it really wasn’t funny when you ignored me screaming.”

“Oh, I didn’t ignore you.”

“It was even less funny when you jumped, and the funny that didn’t exist to begin with entirely fled as we fell into water cold enough to kill people. It didn’t begin to turn funny when we bashed against the rocks.”

“We didn’t bash against any rocks.”

“I don’t know how we got out, but I’m sure that wasn’t funny, either. And it hasn’t grown funny since.”

“It’s a little funny,” she insisted.

“I’m cold!” I complained. “And wet! And scared you’re going to make another mistake like that.”

“I won’t.”

“I think you should leave. You gave Lal Keshia her answers. You said you leave if you decide staying is bad for your host. I’m fairly sure a penchant for jumping off tall cliffs into the ocean is bad for this particular host.”

“You’re overwrought.”

“You tried to kill me!”

“If I had tried to kill you, you’d be dead. Really, Jeraya, you’re overreacting.”

“Why are we still here?” I asked, pointing to the ground. “Why won’t you let me see for myself that I’m okay.”

“Because you wouldn’t like what’s about to happen.”

“I didn’t like the last thing that happened. What are you doing with my body now?”

“Not me this time. Lal Keshia.”

“Is she sawing off my legs or something? Did you bash them so badly I’ll never walk again?”

“No!” Shi`nual replied. “Why would you think that?”

“Tell me what’s happening.”

“They’re about to put us into the tub.”

“That’s it?”

“It’s going to be a little shocking. Don’t argue, now. I’ll let you feel when it’s safe. You’re not dead. You’re wet and cold. It will take a while before you warm up. That’s all.”

“You stopped saying ‘we’.”

“Fine. We’re wet and cold. We will feel better in a little while.”

“I think you were punishing me for not answering your question.”

“I think I like jumping from cliffs. It makes me feel especially alive.”

“It was a shitty trick.”

“Perhaps,” she said. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“I’m not sure there’s enough making up to make up for jumping into the ocean.” She cocked her head. “What?” I spat.

“I’m trying to figure out what you said.”

I poked her in the chest. “That was mean.”

“Admit it: you’ve never done it before.”

“I’ve never hung myself, either, but that doesn’t mean I want you to try that next.”

“Are you really asking me to leave?”

“I don’t know. How soon will I warm up?”

“They’re about to put us in the tub.”

I waved a finger at her. “Hold me.”

She did, wrapping around me. She wasn’t any warmer than I was, but I clung to her. I didn’t yell any further, and then the world faded, and when I could see, I was holding Alyidil instead. We were in the big tub together. I felt someone else, too, but I couldn’t see who it was.

“I’m letting her see,” I said.

I felt fingers on my chin, and then my head turned. It was Lal Keshia. “Jeraya, I’m sorry.”

“Please ask them to hold me more tightly,” I said.

They did.

* * * *

They pampered me, and it felt like they were pampering me, and not the goddess. They bathed me and dried me, and by then there was warm food, so they let me eat.

And they then put me to bed. “Please ask Alyidil to hold me.”

And she did.

* * * *

I slept, and when I woke, I was in the grey world again. Shi`nual was holding me, and then the world became a bedroom, but she was still the one holding me, so I knew it was still the grey world.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Are you asking me to leave?”

“I don’t know. Why did you do that?”

“I didn’t realize the water would be cold.”

“That explains how you miscalculated. I want to know why you did it. Was it to punish me?”

“No. This is going to be difficult to explain. I want you to understand something. It isn’t exactly like this, but my life, when I’m not in a host, is like this world.”

“I’d hate that.”

“I hate it,” she said. “And remember how I said our time here can be only a few breaths of time in the other world?”

“Yes.”

“The time in between hosts can feel like an eternity.”

“What do you do?”

“I think a lot,” she replied. “Jeraya, please don’t make me leave.”

“Is it even my choice?”

“If you asked me to leave, I would leave.”

“I bet I can’t make you.”

“No, you can’t, but if you really asked me to go, I would go.”

“You left someone to come here, didn’t you?”

“Yes, and she was rather unhappy about it. I’d only been there for four days.”

“Did she get her questions answered?”

“They weren’t her questions, but yes, I answered the three questions. But most people only get one chance, and it wasn’t the normal cycle. It wasn’t two full moons, although they are far, far more common there than here.”

“I don’t understand how that works,” I said. “Maybe you can explain it sometime.”

“I can try.”

“You left someone, but if you leave, you’ll be in the grey world until the next two full moons.”

“It won’t be so long,” she said. “But at the same time…”

“It feels like eternity.”

“Yes.”

“Please explain why you did that.”

“I’m trying. Can you understand how being alive would feel to me?”

“A little, maybe.”

“I never feel more alive than when I intentionally scare my host,” she explained. “They shouldn’t be surprised. Everyone knows I do something like that, at least once per host.”

“But the ocean there is warmer.”

“Much warmer,” she said. “I shouldn’t do it. It’s a mean trick. But some of them dare me.”

“Really?”

“Yes. They dare me to surprise them, and dare me again to make them scream.”

“Why?”

“Because they feel alive, too. No one could bring herself to do something like that.”

“Do they all live near the ocean?”

“No. With some, we travel. With others, I find other things to do. That’s how I was almost eaten by that snake.”

“Oh. I see.”

“I think Lal Keshia made her home here intentionally.”

“She should have warned me.”

“She probably should have,” Shi`nual said. “On the other hand, you may not have invited me to stay if she had.”

“We’ll never know. Are you going to do more things like that?”

“I think I’ll restrain myself to other experiences.”

“Then you may stay.”

She paused, then said simply, “Thank you.”

“The sex is pretty good.”

She laughed. “It isn’t bad.”

“I suppose you’ve done everything imaginable.”

“Oh, probably not, but I’ve done more than any human could fit into one lifetime.”

We lay together for a while until she asked, “If you were the only one on this entire world who could help Lal Keshia, would you stay and help her?”

“Yes. Shi`nual, is Alyidil still awake?”

“No, but she wouldn’t mind if we woke her.”

“I think I’d like that.

So, we did.

Along

Over breakfast, I announced, “Jeraya has invited me to stay. I wish to travel.”

“Do you know how long you’ll be with us?” Lal Keshia asked.

We turned to her. “Why do you ask?”

“You weren’t specific where you wanted to go. If you are leaving in three days, we couldn’t return to Rosegrove.”

“Ah. The next pair of full moons isn’t in three days.”

“I have been unable to track the times,” Lal Keshia said.

“It’s underway.”

“What?” I asked.

“There is no one offering who is more interesting than remaining here,” I continued. “If I am welcome, I would prefer to stay. The next full moon pair is the week after next, and then there is nearly a four-week break. There is someone interesting in two weeks, but I would enjoy seeing more of this world. I think I would like to see Rosegrove.”

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I told you I didn’t like being interrupted,” I said.

“Tough. What are you doing?”

There was no fading this time. The world went grey, and it stayed that way for some time.

* * * *

I glared at her when finally, she appeared before me. “That was a shitty thing to do.”

“I didn’t want to explain it in a fashion anyone else could hear,” she said. “And it took longer to return to you. It hasn’t actually been that long, only about fifteen minutes.”

“It was hours!”

“Welcome to my world.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. Fifteen, perhaps twenty minutes. That’s all.”

“If you do that again, can you at least put me in a room with some books or a deck of cards or something.”

“Yes, I can. If there’s a next time. You’re not yelling.”

“Do your hosts frequently yell at you?”

“This particular host has yelled at me a few times.” She paused. “I wouldn’t say frequently, but some of them forget I am a goddess.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” I replied. “What are you doing?”

“I am giving you choices.”

“Choices.”

“Yes,” she said. “Choices. When we reach Rosegrove, you will take me on a tour of the city.”

“You’re going to let me…”

“Be in control? No. But I’ll ask you where to go and to explain what we’re seeing. I may prompt you to show me particular things.”

“Oh. I can do that.”

“Do you know the city well?”

“Not every nook and cranny, but yes.”

“And the shops?”

“Yes, most of them, I suppose.”

“All right then. They’re packing. Your horses are quite different from the equivalent mounts I know. I am looking forward to this trip.”

“Shi`nual, there are things you’re not telling me.”

“Yes,” she admitted. “There are. There is a big one I’ll tell you in Rosegrove. It’s tied to why I want you to show me the shops.”

“All right. I can be patient.”

“Jeraya, I’m going to treat you less delicately for portions of this trip. I’ll probably not let you talk for portions, and I’ll probably banish you here for portions. Please do not be angry.”

“You want to make the most out of what might be your only trip here.”

“That is part of it, yes.”

“No more jumping off cliffs, though.”

“No more.”

* * * *

We left an hour later. I was disappointed that we each rode alone, but Shi`nual had asked me to be quiet, and so I kept my opinions to myself.

Our journey largely retraced our steps here from two months ago, backwards, of course. For meals at the inns, Shi`nual always asked about local flavors. I didn’t even understand the question, and she seemed disappointed by the answers. But she didn’t pull me aside, so to speak, to talk about it, and so again, I kept my opinions – and questions – to myself.

When we camped, we engaged in debauched – and very satisfying – sex. Some of it I found a little shocking, as if the entire experience wasn’t shocking enough. But all of it was enjoyable. I was left wondering what would happen after she moved to her next host. I couldn’t see myself acting like this, nor did I think the others would treat me the same way they treated her. She was a goddess, after all, and I was nobody, just a girl with red hair and violet eyes.

But I decided to enjoy it while it lasted.

When we stayed at the inns, she was amazingly successful luring a woman to our room, or in a few instances, more than one. By the third time, I tried to detect patterns, but there appeared to be no rhyme nor reason in her choices. Some of the women were quite young, barely adults. One of the women was a grandmother. She’d once been a real beauty while one of the younger women was quite sturdy. That one had cried afterwards, and we held her, crooning gently.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I thought you would find joy,” was the simple answer. “It is only a night of shared pleasure, Melia.”

“No one has ever…”

“Then we should make the most of it,” I replied. “You weren’t tired, were you?”

Later, as I lay in Melia’s arms, I said, “You’re not going to believe me.”

“Are you going to tell me this is real and not the dream I decided it must be.”

I laughed. “No. I’m a god.”

“That’s what I was thinking.”

“No, Melia. A real god. I’m borrowing this body. If you see me again, I won’t really be the same person. I’ll probably walk differently. You might not notice. But I won’t have this accent you hear.”

“Is this your way of saying don’t expect a repeat if ever we meet again?”

“Well, that wasn’t what I was trying to say, although that’s probably true. My host had never done anything like this before she invited me for a visit. Well, not never. Once, and with a man. I’ve been giving her such ideas, I think.”

That was certainly true.

“But you’re so pretty,” Melia said. “You could have anyone.”

“Yes, but it wasn’t her way, and I don’t think she felt she was attractive, either.”

That was true, too.

“I’ve never heard an accent like yours before.”

“I imagine not,” I replied. “Where I’m from, I wouldn’t have had to talk about this. I would have simply said my name, and everyone would have known who I was.”

“So, your name isn’t really Shi`nual?”

“My name is. My host’s name is not.”

“How does it work? There are three of us in this bed?”

“I suppose there are. She gives me her body for a while, and then she gets to watch to see what I do with it.”

“So, she’s watching now, listening to us.”

“Yes, but unlike me, she needs sleep. So, I think it’s her bedtime, and then I have secrets I want to whisper to you.”

* * * *

We were well on the road before I woke. I wasn’t sure how I felt about being pushed away like that. I didn’t think I liked it. But I’d invited her to stay; I’d invited her twice, actually. And so, I said nothing, and she offered no conversations with me.

And then we reached Rosegrove. And she spoke directly to me for the first time since we had left Deepwater. “Jeraya, do you care to recommend an inn?”

“I’d rather avoid the one where I worked,” I said. “There are several inns. I wouldn’t recommend the Green Water. The clientele is rough, and they have a poor reputation. The best is the Golden Terrace. It is expensive.” I directed us, but from the street, I said, “No. We passed an inn three blocks back.” Yes, it was confusing when the goddess said something using my body, but I had mostly grown accustomed.

“The Happy Dragon,” I supplied. “They host music in the common room most nights.”

“Let us see if they have space for us.”

They did. We got ourselves settled, and then I began to show Shi`nual about the town.

An Education

Shi`nual wanted to learn the city, and so it began the first afternoon. “Are there shopping districts?”

“There are three markets,” I said. “There are two rows of various craftsmen. And then there are other shops scattered throughout the town.”

“Let us begin with one of the markets.”

“The nearest is near the largest of the village greens.”

And so, I directed us, and we passed through the green on the way. I turned a circle several times as we walked, my arms out, and said, “This is pleasant.”

The market was a square block with the small shops turned inward towards the center rather than outward. It was green and lovely inside, with several wide paths, and along the paths, smaller vendors had carts, small wagons, or even a few ragged shelters where they could ply their wares. I grew quiet, but the six of us roamed between all the shops and vendors. At the bakery, I bought sweets, and then we backtracked to one of the shops selling leather goods. Shi`nual then went to work, luring the shopkeeper’s daughter away from her duties.

At first, when she realized Shi`nual’s intentions, the woman blushed, but I fed her the treats from my fingers, and when I offered them, she licked.

“I have to work,” she whispered.

“You close soon.”

“No, we don’t close soon.”

“You have a younger sibling who can take over for you.”

She didn’t answer, but then she pulled away. I thought I was about to witness Shi`nual’s first rejection, but the woman disappeared for a minute, then reappeared with a younger version of herself. Ten seconds later, we were now seven, with the woman letting me hold her arm.

We collected more treats from one of the carts, and mead from another, and then returned to the village green. There, we found a soft place to sit, and that was when I invited Mayolin to rub Seldissa’s lovely feet.

We brought her back to the Happy Dragon, four of us, or five, depending upon whether I count, shared bodies and found pleasure together.

* * * *

In this way, I showed Shi`nual the town. For the most part, I simply directed her where to go, and a few times I explained what we were seeing, or answered questions. But for the most part, I sat quietly.

The goddess seemed interested in some shops more than others. She spoke at length with each jeweler, talking about gems and metals. She spoke to the apothecaries, and spent hours talking to the spice vendors.

Along the way, she seduced women everywhere we went, it seemed. That was a constant, if anything was. With some, there were just two of us who eventually made it to bed, but more often, she incorporated members of our troop. In the morning, she sent them home, and they never seemed upset it was only a night.

But then she took to sending me to bed, as she put it, and I only knew that time passed while I knew nothing, but the one time I complained, instead of sending me to bed, she sent me to the grey room, and that was absolutely horrible. When finally, she came to me, I fell to my knees and begged her not to do that again.

She pulled me into her arms, kissed me, and that was the end of that. But after that, I didn’t complain about being sent to bed.

I entirely lost track of how long we’d been in Rosegrove.

* * * *

“Good morning,” I whispered. “I want to show you something, Jeraya.”

“All right,” I said.

I looked around. I was in bed surrounded by several bodies. Lal Keshia was awake, Burquiri in her arms. I was holding Alyidil. Filfoyss and Mayolin were facing the other way, their heads by our feet, both asleep.

“Lal Keshia,” I said. “You will see to things here. You have perhaps two hours.” I looked around. “Perhaps let them sleep for a while longer.”

Lal Keshia nodded, and I began to climb from the bed. Alyidil stirred, but I kissed her head and said, “Go back to sleep.” She curled up, partially wrapping around her sister. I stroked her back and pulled the covers up a little further, then went from one to the other, kissing foreheads, leaving Lal Keshia with a real kiss.

I washed up and dressed and then headed for the closest market.

Inside, I said nothing. I bought treats from the bakery and then sat, enjoying them. “Today, you may speak freely,” I said.

“Should I be nervous?”

“No. I am going to show you something wonderful.”

“Are you going to tell me what?”

“Magic.”

“Seriously?”

“There’s something Lal Keshia didn’t tell you. And I chose not to tell you until now. When I move to the next host, I leave a little something behind.”

“More than interesting memories?”

“Not pleasant memories?”

“Those, too,” I said.

“Yes, more than pleasant memories of very debauched sex.”

“You do seem to enjoy debauched sex.”

“You seem to enjoy debauched sex, too,” I replied. That’s really confusing, isn’t it. Fine. Shi`nual replied. “You’re a moaner.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“Half the reason I do this is to pay attention to your responses, Jeraya. And you moan.”

“I do?”

“Part of the reason I pick so many different kinds is to see how you respond to them. And you seem to enjoy all of them.”

“You are extremely talented,” I said. “I am fairly sure three quarters of our lovers don’t have a clue what to do, but you somehow help them learn how to please us, anyway.”

“Ah,” she replied. “People come in every which combination. For this conversation, let’s talk about two attributes: a desire to be pleased, and a desire to be pleasing.”

“Doesn’t everyone want both?”

“Yes, probably, but some people only care if they’re pleasing if it helps them get what they want. Others truly enjoy being pleasing for others, whether or not there is a reward. That describes you.” I thought she was right. “It can be difficult to tell, just from looking, how different people feel until you get to know them better.”

“Sure,” I agreed.

“I am far better at telling than you are. It only takes me a few minutes to determine whether someone wants to be pleasing, or whether she does it simply for the rewards. It’s not something I can teach you.”

“All right.”

“When she uses the giving of pleasure as a tool, I give her enough to let her know there are possible rewards, but then I make her work.”

I laughed. “Good.”

“When she doesn’t care whether she is pleasing or not, I still make sure she has a nice time, but I make sure she sees the others around us receive more than she does.”

I laughed again. “Good.”

“She probably doesn’t learn from the experience, but I can only do so much. Jeraya, you probably haven’t been able to detect a pattern, but at least part of the reason I involve our companions is based on the woman. If she is the sort to be pleasing, then I decided if she would more enjoy the added available pleasures. But otherwise, I make sure some of our companions join us so that either way, we’ll find our pleasures.”

“Oh.”

“But even then, women who wish to be pleasing will be looking for clues, and I make sure they receive them. If she is doing something I like, I offer encouragement. If she cares at all for my pleasure, she’ll figure out what I like. As I’m not at all choosy, it isn’t hard.”

“Oh.”

“And I am patient. She can be entirely without a clue, and it might take several hours. So, what if it does? I’m not in a hurry. It will be a very pleasant several hours, either way.”

“Oh,” I repeated for the third time.

“Of course, our companions let me train them and were quite cooperative about it besides. I think perhaps you have noticed.”

“I think you might be right.”

“However, this is not what I want to talk about today.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, I don’t mind at all. I love talking about sex and pleasure and joy. I love paying attention to your reaction when I’m doing something especially delicious.”

“Is that for your pleasure or for mine?”

She laughed. “Both. It has been so long, this is how I have become. I do not know if I do the things I do simply because I want to show you pleasure, or because building a reputation of showing pleasure means I have my choice of hosts.”

“Oh. I suppose word gets around awfully fast.”

“Even if it didn’t, I have been doing this for a long, long time. Word has definitely gotten around.”

“I suppose it would. I’m sorry, I keep distracting you.”

“Yes. I was talking about things I leave behind. This isn’t something I can prevent. I always leave a little something behind, but sometimes it’s only a little something, and sometimes it’s a fairly big something.”

“What is that?”

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a stone. I looked at it. “Quartz?”

“Yes,” she said. “This is of average quality, which I like for what I’m about to show you.”

“It’s pretty,” I said.

“It is.” And then she spoke a word, and there was a flash of light.

“What did you do?”

“Just wait,” she said. “Hmm. We should have done this inside somewhere.” But then she cupped the quartz in her hands, and we peered between a gap in her fingers.

“Is it glowing?”

“Like the stone you used to read books.”

“You just did magic!”

“Jeraya, we just did magic.”

“We?”

“We,” she confirmed. “Magic requires two components: knowledge, which I have, and latent ability, which I brought to you, and now you have.”

“Wait. I can do magic?”

“Well, no, because you don’t know how. When I leave, Jeraya, I leave behind a little bit of magic. I can’t help it. What I can control is whether it’s only a little or quite a lot.”

“Oh,” I said.

She put the stone back in her pocket. “We’ll look at it somewhere dark, and I can show you why I prefer average quality. The same spell works with any sort of quartz, including amethyst.”

“Amethyst is quartz?”

“Yes, with impurities that make it that color. If you use amethyst, then the light takes on the same color. Sometimes I like to use rose quartz.”

“I bet that’s pretty.”

“I think so.”

“How long will it last?”

“I didn’t use very much magic, so a few weeks or so.”

“I meant, how long will the magic you leave me last? I suppose it depends on whether I use it up.”

“Oh, no, Jeraya. It lasts forever.”

“Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say.

* * * *

We sat quietly for a while, and then we got up and she found a few more treats. She ate them slowly while I thought of the implications. Finally, I asked, “Shi`nual, are you offering to teach me?”

“Only a little,” she replied. “I can teach you to make the stones and to make a few simple charms.”

“Charms?”

“Luck charms, health charms, maybe a few others. I won’t teach you anything that will hurt people.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“I promised you choices, Jeraya. We are in the town that was once your home, and before I leave, you’ll know how to make charms that no one else knows how to make. And you will be able to make stones glow, which should convince people you have some skill.”

“Oh,” I said.

“You could have a good life this way. People would pay you. You would need to be very honest. I would teach you very carefully.”

“Is that what you think I should do?”

“It is one choice. There are others.”

“Such as?”

“You could return to your old life.”

“Or?”

“Or, you currently are the only person on this entire world who can help Lal Keshia return home.”

“Me? You said she needs a coven. I’m one person. Would you make me so powerful?”

“No. She would need a coven, and she does not count, so there would be thirteen, not twelve. You would be one. She has a plan for the others. It will take a long time, but she will live for a very, very long time.”

“Her wife will have forgotten her.”

“No, but her wife will have made a life without her. I do not know what would happen when Lal Keshia returns.”

“This is why you asked those questions before we left Deepwater.”

“Yes,” she said. “We came here to give you choices, and to find somewhere to buy the things we would need so I may teach you. The only quartz I found in Deepwater was very poor, and I couldn’t find the spices and incense I need to make charms.”

“I can’t imagine we have the same spices here.”

“You don’t, but part of learning magic is learning to recognize the potential in what you find. That is partly training and partly simple experience, trial and error. Another part of learning magic is learning how to teach yourself. You may learn how to make other charms, even if no one teaches you. I may guide you to learn how to make lust charms without actually teaching you.”

“I presume they do exactly what I think they do.”

“Perhaps. It affects the wearer.”

“So, if I want someone, I would convince her to wear it.”

“Yes.”

“You don’t seem to need them, or am I wearing one and don’t know it?”

She laughed. “I definitely don’t need them, and you don’t, either. Nor do our companions.”

“Are you using magic on the people we meet?”

“Only the magic any woman has.”

“I am fairly sure most of the woman we take home have never shared a bed with another woman before.”

“And I am fairly sure most of them have thought about it, even if they have never thought they might act on it.”

“You can tell somehow?”

“Only from how they respond to me,” she replied. “So. Choices. Of course, you have others, and we could discuss them if you like.”

“Give me an example.”

“Rather than living here, you could travel.”

“A traveling charm-maker.”

“Yes. You could find a nice man to marry.”

“Yeah, keep going.”

She laughed. “You could find a nice woman to marry.” I said nothing to that. “You are very bright. You could learn a different trade.”

“Apprentice myself somewhere?”

“Yes, I suppose. Or trade charms for instruction. There would be value in making your own jewelry. Some magic requires you to infuse your charms with magic when you make them, and in that case, you must make them yourself. That is the only way to make charms that are truly durable, and then they must be made for a specific person. You do not need to be a master jeweler, but if you are not, then you probably would need to work with a master, who would guide you, and a single charm could take you weeks to produce. However, you would probably be the only person on your entire world who could make that charm.”

“And I could be compensated accordingly.”

“Yes. So, if I leave you with the least magic I leave anyone, you probably can’t do anything more difficult than producing a dim glow in a piece of quartz.”

“Does it, I don’t know. Does it diminish you to leave more?”

“No. But if I do, then you must learn to use it. People with magic who don’t use it tend to become quite eccentric, shall we say. It isn’t at all healthy.” I stood up. “Let us buy more quartz, and I’ll teach you.”

Farewell

She taught me the light spell. It wasn’t hard, once she showed me. It wasn’t hard at all. Most of it was a matter of wishing to see the potential magic, and then knowing what I wanted. The word she had used simply meant, “Light,” in her language, and she said, “You may use any word that helps you to focus your intentions.”

I couldn’t practice, as I was not in control of my body, but Shi`nual assured me that, while it might take me a little effort, I could cast the spell.

And then she made me sleep.

When I woke, I didn’t recognize where I was. There were three unfamiliar women with me, all of us naked, and we were doing such lovely things to each other. I was already moaning in my own pleasure, and the others were offering their own sounds.

And then I realized they weren’t all unfamiliar. I knew one of them. But then someone else did something to me that was especially delicious, and I inside, I said, “Yes. There. Yes, please.”

And yes, I moaned, inside and out.

* * * *

Later, I slept again. When I next woke, two of the women were gone, and it was bright daylight. I was holding Jessine, the woman I knew. My hand moved to her breast, and I began to play with it.

Her eyes opened. “Jeraya,” she whispered. “Are you never satisfied?”

“Are you complaining?” I asked.

“No.” She laughed a little raggedly. “I’ve never done something like this before, and you didn’t exactly have that sort of reputation, either.”

“I feel like a new woman lately. Complaining?”

“No,” she said again. “I am definitely not complaining. I still don’t understand where this accent came from, though. I don’t remember you having one before.”

“It’s a long story,” I replied. “It’s tied to how I learned to make that little gift.”

She rolled away from me, and when she returned, she was holding a glowing piece of quartz. “It’s beautiful.”

“It won’t last forever,” I warned her. “If you sell it, the buyer will feel cheated if you don’t warn her.”

“I’m not going to sell it,” she said. “I’m going to hang it from a chain and wear it.”

“If you drill a hole, it will destroy the magic.”

“Oh, please,” she said. “I think I can make a little cage for it.”

“Oh, that’s right,” I said. “You’re a jeweler.”

She bumped me. “Like you didn’t remember.”

I moved closer to her and pulled her into a kiss. She kissed back, and we spent several minutes sharing simple passion, simple touches. And then I pulled her to me, her head on my shoulder, her hand on one breast. “This is nice,” she said.

“I haven’t decided what I’m going to do with my life,” I said.

“That’s what you told me last night.”

“If I stay, and if I asked you to teach me how to make jewelry, do you think we could come to an agreement?”

“Are you offering to pay for lessons by sharing my bed?”

“I was being less specific. I don’t want to make promises today, because I am not sure I am staying in Rosegrove. I may decide to travel. I don’t know yet.”

“Well,” she said slowly. “You’re a little old to be my apprentice.”

“I would not want to go into competition with you,” I continued. “Some of my magic requires that I am the one to make the jewelry.”

“Oh,” she said.

“We would probably work together.”

“So, you are offering to share my bed.”

I laughed. “I don’t want to set any expectations. I want to know what you think.”

“I think,” she said, “that I wouldn’t at all mind sharing my bed, but I do not want you to think that is how you pay for lessons. Sharing a bed is sharing a bed. Lessons are lessons. I do not know if shiny quartz that I can’t sell pays for lessons, either.”

“Perhaps protection charms do. I do not need to learn to design jewelry. I need to learn only a portion of your craft. If I stay.”

“If you stay.” She twirled a finger, teasing my nipple. It felt good. “No. I’m sorry. I cannot. I have an agreement with the guild. I can only teach you if you register as my apprentice.” She grinned. “You would be mine for at least ten years. Yes, if you register as my apprentice, I’ll teach you anything you want to know.”

“How does that work?” I asked.

“Everyone knows that.”

“Humor me.”

“All right. People become apprentices in a variety of ways. You can be born into a family, which is the most common, and when you are old enough to decide for yourself, you sign an agreement, perhaps with your father, perhaps your grandfather.”

“Is that what you did?”

“It was my mother. As her apprentice, I belonged to her, even more than I did as her daughter.” She teased my breast. “You would belong to me.”

“Like a slave.”

“No. Like an apprentice. Your term is for a minimum of ten years, or until you pass the journeyman exam, whichever comes second.”

“What if I’m hopeless?”

“For any reason at all, I can choose to sell your contract. There are standard rates, and then the amount can adjust up or down based on the situation. You have no say, but if you are opposed to my choice, you may appeal to either the guild master of the jewelers’ guild or the guild master of the new guild, if I am selling you outside the jewelers’ guild.”

“If you sold me to a smith?”

“Then you may appeal to either guild, or even one and then the other, if you are dissatisfied. However, if you win, you are choosing a guild, and I sell you to that guild. Well, I sell your contract, but it is nearly the same thing.”

“What happens if, ten years from now, I have proven to be hopeless? You sell me, and I owe someone else another ten years?”

“If you have served as my faithful apprentice for ten years, you may ask to be released from service. You may also ask the guild to assign you to another master. But you may not make jewelry for others until you have been declared a journeywoman, and you will find it very difficult to acquire supplies if you are no longer a member of the guild.”

“So, you can’t teach me for ten years and release me.”

“I can, but no one will sell you the things you would need, and only a fool would buy from you.”

“And this is the only way you could teach me?”

“Not exactly. I will only teach you with the permission of the guild. This is the most common means of obtaining that permission. However, if you acquire permission from the guild master through other means, I would agree to teach you. Whether you have the title or not, I would want you to act as my apprentice. Another might offer a different arrangement.”

“And so, my duties would include sweeping the floors.”

“Yes. And obeying me. You would have rights. I couldn’t order you to my bed. If continuing to share my bed was part of the arrangement you wanted, I would want you to tell the guild master we have an established relationship.”

“Even if I offered to pay you…”

“I will not violate the rules of the guild,” she said. “You must have permission. I’m sorry.”

“No, no. I don’t want you to break any rules, Jessine. If I were to obtain permission, but not as your apprentice, you would still make me accept those duties.”

“Yes. Not to be mean, but for several reasons. The tasks must be done. One of us must do them. Later, when you are making your own jewelry, you must know the proper way.”

“The proper way to sweep the floor.”

“The proper way to sweep the floor when there may be things fallen on the floor that must receive proper care. It is not only dust that you sweep.”

“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t know.”

“Of course, you didn’t,” she said. “And while you are sweeping, I am probably thinking about your next lesson, or wondering how I failed in the last one.”

I laughed. “My failures are your failures.”

“Perhaps, and perhaps not. But I must always consider that possibility. This is something my mother taught me from the very beginning.”

“She sounds like she is a very good teacher.”

“She is. She only takes one apprentice at a time, and she is a coveted master. Families try to pay her to take their daughters.”

“Sons?”

“She only teaches daughters, and I have already decided I will only do the same. But I’m not yet my mother, and I am still learning from her.”

“I imagine,” I said. “Is there more I need to know?”

“I think that covers it. So, are you going to seduce the guild master for permission?”

“No. If I seek permission of that sort, I will do so openly and honestly,” I replied. “Jessine, I don’t know my mind yet. Belonging to you might be fun, but I’m not done deciding what to do. If I never ask, please don’t be offended.”

“I won’t be. I am pleased for tonight. Do you think there will be more?”

“Perhaps, but I am sowing some oats. Perhaps, if you see me again in a few weeks, you will make an invitation. But I may only wish to share a drink between friends.”

“I will contain my expectations, on one condition.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. I saw what you did to Diordia.”

I laughed. “And you’d like to be on the receiving side?”

“Oh, no. I want you to teach me.”

I laughed. “Of course. I’d love to.”

* * * *

I woke, and I was in the grey room. Shi`nual was holding me. “Hi,” I whispered.

“Good morning,” she replied.

“How long did you make me sleep?”

“Oh, you know how it is.”

“No. Perhaps you’ll tell me.”

In response, she simply laughed, then sobered. “I want to ask you something, Jeraya.”

“All right.”

“Do you want me to leave more than the tiniest magic behind?”

“Is this my choice?”

“It might not be normally, but yes, this is your choice. What you do with it is also your choice. I hold you to no promises.”

I sat up and turned to face her. We both squirmed around, and then we were touching, our legs twined, each with one knee up, one knee straight. She brushed at my hair while I looked into eyes that were a mirror of my own. “I suppose it’s foolish to ask what you normally look like?”

“Yes,” she said. “I look like my host.”

“Why red hair and violet eyes?”

“I was once human.”

“What?”

“Long, long ago. I had red hair and violet eyes.”

“What happened?”

“I helped a god, and she rewarded me. It has been wonderful and terrible at the same time.”

“I’m sorry if it’s been terrible.”

“Don’t be. It’s far more wonderful than terrible. I am now thousands of years old, and have lived, and lived, and lived.” She smiled and caressed my face. “Jeraya, there is a double-moon two nights from tonight.”

“Oh. You’re leaving.”

“You knew this day would come. You’ll get your body back, your life back. You could have your old life back.”

“I don’t want my old life back. I think I want a new life.”

“Well, you can have that.”

“If you leave me with magic, I can help people.”

“You can,” she agreed. “I’ve taught you enough to start, and if you work, you can learn more. Or you can ask Lal Keshia to teach you.” She grinned. “She may ask you to become her apprentice.”

I laughed. “She can ask, but she’s not in any guild.”

“Maybe she’ll form one, and you can become the second member.”

“I’m sure there’s a process.”

“I’m sure Lal Keshia is a very intelligent woman, and if she chooses to form a guild, no one will gainsay her.”

“Have you fed her this idea?”

“Would I do that?”

“Yes.”

She laughed. “Lal Keshia knows about guilds. This is not the only world that has them.”

“If she knew about guilds, then why did we have that conversation with Jessine?”

“Because while I also know about guilds, the rules here are different. On Lal Keshia’s world, my world, the rules of apprenticeship are similar, at least as much as Jessine explained. However, there are no rules preventing her from teaching anyone she wants, and there are no rules requiring someone to join a guild. Most people do, because the guild enforces rules of professional behavior, so someone is more likely to trust a craftsman from the guild, because if there is a dispute, the guild enforces the rules.”

“Ah.”

“But there are some very good craftsmen, highly respected craftsmen, who have never joined their respective guilds, or who left, each for his own reasons. However, the guild enforces prices, and if someone tries to undercut the guilds, that person may find it increasingly difficult to do business.”

“I think I understand. Shi`nual, I think I’d like to be able to help people.”

“I thought you might.” She nodded. “All right. That is decided. It is a lovely day. We will have a picnic, and then we’ll see who finds us alluring. Tomorrow, we will spend with only our closest companions.”

* * * *

We had our picnic, and we found several women who found us alluring, quite alluring. We went home with them. Well, we went to someone’s home, and the others came.

* * * *

I woke, and I was in the grey room. Shi`nual was holding me.

“You could have let me stay,” I told her.

“Are you kidding? I tried to sell you to the streetwalker’s guild. I didn’t want you watching.”

“You did not!”

She laughed.

“When is it?”

“We’re to have our final day together. Jeraya, I have played a little trick on you.”

“What trick?”

“You’ll see, eventually.”

“What did you do?”

“You’ll see,” she repeated. “I wonder if you’ll curse me for it.”

“Did you have my body tattooed?”

“Maybe that’s what we should do today,” she replied with a laugh. “I’m not going to tell you, but if you pester me, I’ll leave you here until later.”

“Please don’t,” I said. “I won’t pester.”

“I won’t,” she said. “This time is very special to me. I am sad to leave, but looking forward to new adventures. I think you are sad for me to leave, but looking forward to your new adventures, too.”

“And a little scared.”

“Few of my hosts are the same after hosting me,” she explained. “Nearly always, they have very, very good lives afterwards. I think yours will be quite lovely. If you allow it, you could have a far better life than your old one.”

I thought she was right.

For a while, we simply held each other. I wanted my body back, but I didn’t want her to leave. But then, as we were holding each other, one world faded away, and a new one faded in. Everyone was clustered around me, and I was in their arms.

“She is with us,” I said. “Today is just for us.”

There were touches, and kisses. They dressed me and each other, and then, holding hands, we left the inn.

Breakfast was from a bakery. And then Shi`nual led us to a shop that sold spices. “My name is Jeraya,” I declared. I set one of the pieces of quartz on the countertop. “Take this somewhere dark and come back if I have your attention.”

The woman cocked her head. “Margie. You’ve been in here a few times.”

“If you can tell me what is special about that,” I said, “but I have not intrigued you, then I will purchase two jars of the firebark at your asking price. You must take the stone somewhere dark.”

“Laurette,” she said. “Watch the shop.”

A teenage girl nodded ascent and stepped to the counter, watching us. The woman stepped back.

I walked around the store for perhaps two or three minutes. And then there was a noise. “You have my attention.”

I turned. The woman was holding the quartz, and she waved her daughter away. I walked back to her, smiling. “I require a supplier.” Then from my pouch, I withdrew two charms. I immediately knew what they were, although I didn’t remember making them. Is that confusing? I’m sure Shi`nual remembered making them, but I didn’t. I set them on the counter. “This one is a good luck charm. That is perhaps a misnomer. It does not ward off bad luck, or cause good luck to occur. If worn against the skin, it helps the wearer identify opportunity and evaluate risk. Its magic begins to fade after several months and will do almost nothing a year from now. It is not especially powerful, but if worn by someone who is open to opportunity, it can make a difference.”

The woman said nothing, although she lifted a hand, then lowered it.

“As I said, it needs to be worn against the skin.” I gestured to my own throat. “It is hard to determine a value. Does this charm hold any value to you?”

“Some value, yes,” said the woman. “And the other?”

“A ward against evil,” I explained. “It will last about as long as the first. It does not prevent bad things from happening, but it helps to hide someone from anyone intending evil. If the wearer walked into a bar filled with rowdy sailors, it is unlikely to protect her. But if she is walking the street on her way home, then she will be invisible to a casual glance from someone of ill intent, or someone of no ill intent is unlikely to see her and foment evil plans. It is in no way an absolute, and it does nothing to prevent accidents. Does this have value?” And my eyes flicked to the daughter.

“Some value, yes. Can you prove these charms work?”

“No. I will give you these charms.”

“Give?”

“And the stone you are holding,” I continued. “If, at some point in the future, you feel these charms have value to you, or you would like to discuss the others I can make, you can make an offer. I will not set a price. I would trade, charms for your spices.”

“The firebark?”

“Perhaps,” I said. “But most of your spices, even the most common, hold value to me.”

“How much firebark would you want for this charm?” She nudged the ward from evil.

“I don’t know how to measure the value,” I replied. “The charm may do nothing. Evil isn’t necessarily common. If you traded for charms, you would probably never know if they ever served their purpose.”

“You are not wearing any.”

“I don’t need them,” I said. “The next time you see me, it may be different.” I nudged the good luck charm. “This one may be hard to detect as well. If an opportunity arrives tomorrow, and you are wearing this charm, how do you know whether it was the charm or your own good business sense?”

“You have a glowing stone that you may or may not have made.”

“I can make others if you require a demonstration.”

“Your ability to make a stone glow may be your only ability.”

“It’s not, but you are wise to be cautious.”

“Can you make any that are more obvious?”

I paused. The woman waited and then nudged everything towards me, including the quartz.

“Wait,” I said. “That is a fair question. I have one I could make that is quite obvious, but it is also possible to abuse, and I don’t often make it.”

“Oh? Is it some sort of death charm?”

“No. Lust.”

The woman stared for a moment and then laughed. “That would be obvious. So, if I were to wear it, my patrons would desire me.”

“Oh, no,” I said. “You would desire them.”

She laughed again. “And so, the abuse would be if I tricked someone I wanted into wearing it.”

“Yes, or you could trick someone into wearing it, and then watch her make poor choices because of it. I think you see why I don’t like making them.”

“Trust starts somewhere,” she said.

“Make a promise.”

“How long does the magic last?”

“Until you remove it,” I said.

“And then the charm dies?”

“No, although it, like the others, will only last so long. If unused, it would still carry potency two months from now. In a year, you might feel a glimmer of desire. Worn, it would last less time. You would burn it out after two or three weeks, if you never took it off, but I dare say, you would want to take it off.”

“It is that powerful?”

“At the beginning, yes, and the more you wear it, the more susceptible you become to its influence, assuming you’ve given in to it.”

“It trains me.”

“I suppose it does,” I said. “So, would you abuse such a charm?”

“Provide me with one. I will wear it myself or perhaps share it, but only with someone who knows what it is.”

“The effect upon a person is somewhat durable,” I explained. “But it takes a little time to build. You cannot readily share it together, trading it back and forth.”

“I wouldn’t expect to need to.”

I reached into my pocket, the other pocket, and withdrew one more charm. The shopkeeper laughed. “You had that ready.”

“I hadn’t decided if I was going to offer it,” I said. “Please do not abuse this.” Then I set it on the counter and pushed the four items towards her. “Remember. My name is Jeraya. I’ll check back with you, but it may be by post.”

She nodded and held out her hand. “Margie.”

We touched, her touch lingering, and I smiled.

* * * *

Outside the shop, Shi`nual said, “I don’t like buying supplies and prefer to trade. Now, where are the baths?”

We went to the baths, and then we took massages together as well. We had lunch in one place, and then we walked the city, going nowhere in particular.

We exchanged touches, and kisses. And inside, I tried not to cry. She would leave. Everything would change. I didn’t think I’d ever see her again. My friends – and they had become friends, or so I thought – wouldn’t see her again, either. Lal Keshia may never be able to return home, but even if she did, her wife would no longer be her wife, and who knew what welcome she would receive.

We eventually returned to the inn, and once there, we undressed together, and then we powdered and painted and dressed each other again, all of us deeply beautiful.

We went to dinner, and then to a show. It was terribly funny, and inside and out, I laughed. But at the same time, I grew sadder and sadder.

During the walk back, I whispered, “Could I ask a question?”

“Yes, Jeraya. You may ask.”

“Is night here the same as night there?”

“The times are different, and the length of the day is different. Midnight is not midnight. I’d like us to return to the inn now.”

“How many are inviting you?”

“Many,” she said. “Six that most interest me. Please don’t ask more, Jeraya.”

“I wish you could stay.”

“A part of me wishes that, too, but it is time for you to have your life back, before I am tempted to jump off another cliff.”

“You shouldn't do that.”

She laughed. “I could find another snake.”

“You really shouldn’t do that!”

She laughed again.

* * * *

As soon as we were in our room, I turned to Lal Keshia. “Make love to me. Make love to each other. Share pleasure.” And then I spread my arms.

Lal Keshia stepped to me, and the others. They removed my clothing, and they helped each other. And then Alyidil and Burquiri, laughing, grabbed my arms and pulled me to the bed. Alyidil stayed, and Burquiri turned to Lal Keshia.

I quickly became lost in the pleasures, and more pleasures, and more pleasures, for hours and hours it seemed.

And then, in the middle of all this pleasure, Shi`nual called out, “Jeraya! I love you. Please, be happy.”

And then, between panting breaths, I felt her slip away.

And I began sobbing. She was gone.

Recovery

I knew little for days, only bits and pieces. Lal Keshia and my friends saw to my needs, fed me, bathed me. I barely moved, half lost in my own mind, and barely aware of what happened around me. One constant was Alyidil, and she rarely left me, and never for more than a few minutes. Most of the time, others were there, but there was more rotation. Lal Keshia held me as often as the others.

It was while I was in her arms that I spoke my first words. “She’s gone.”

“I know.” She kissed my hair. “You’re going to be okay, Jeraya. Everyone goes through this. When I said we would take care of you, this is what I meant.”

“Thank you.” And then I faded away a little, although not as badly.

They took care of me. They fed me and bathed me and clothed me. And always, always someone held me.

I cried. A lot.

But they simply held me, and then helped me to clean up.

It took time, but I began responding to more complicated suggestions, and they began to take me for brief walks. The first time, I didn’t recognize anything, but on the second or third trip, I realized we were still in Rosegrove.

That night I asked Lal Keshia, “What are your plans?”

“I don’t understand the question.”

“We’re still in Rosegrove. Aren’t you anxious to return home.”

“Our plans are to take care of you,” she said. “Don’t worry about that.”

“I want to know.”

“You’re more awake.”

“Why aren’t you answering?”

“Because I can’t make plans until you and I have talked, and you’re more awake, but you’re not that awake.”

“Give me enough to think about.”

“Three basic plans. You come with us. We all stay here. You stay here, and we leave. I prefer either of the first two plans, although there would be nothing to stop you from finding us, even in our travels.”

“Looking for a coven.”

“Yes.”

“I bet you have a plan.”

“I have two plans,” she said. “One involves you; one does not.”

“Hold me.”

* * * *

It was another week before I whispered, “It’s all changed.”

“What has changed?” Alyidil asked.

“Everything.”

“Tell us,” Lal Keshia suggested.

“You all made love to her,” I said. “You wanted her.”

There was shifting, and then soft lips brushed against mine. It was Alyidil holding me from behind, and so I wasn’t surprised when I lifted a hand and found a tall, elvish ear. Then she moved her lips near my ear. “That has definitely not changed, but you’re not ready, and you’re not her. I imagine it would be different.”

And then, from behind me, Alyidil nipped at my ear. “I have wanted you from the first moment I saw you, and that hasn’t changed.”

“Please make love to me,” I said. “If you want.”

“Together?” Alyidil asked.

“If you want.”

“I want,” she said. And then Lal Keshia answered by kissing me again.

They touched and kissed, and in a way it was a little like when Shi`nual had been there, in that I experienced, but passively. I encouraged them to do whatever they wanted to me, and to each other, but I wasn’t proactive. Neither of them seemed to mind, as they shared me and they shared each other.

It was long, and slow, and sweet, and later we entwined together.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “Lal Keshia, if you want my help, I’ll help you.”

Plans

It was two months to the day. I woke, and this time, it was Alyidil who was in the middle. I’d asked to hold her, and she was holding Lal Keshia. I stared at her beautiful, bare back for a while, smiling. “I love you.”

“Mmm,” she replied. “Someone finally woke.” She rolled over, and then Lal Keshia appeared, leaning over her. We exchanged kisses and sweet touches, and then Alyidil asked, “Were you talking to me or her?”

“You, but I love both of you. I love the others, too, but not the same way.”

“That’s probably best,” Lal Keshia said. “Filfoyss has become somewhat… insatiable herself, and she’s been trading back and forth between Burquiri and Mayolin.”

“They haven’t figured out what to do,” Alyidil added. “I think they were hoping we’d give you to them, and then you and Filfoyss would swap back and forth. I told them to dream on.”

I laughed and caressed her cheek. “Thank you for stealing me.”

She laughed. “Any time. I mean that, by the way. You belong to us now.”

“Good. So, I suppose you don’t want me to apprentice myself to the jeweler.”

“Actually,” Lal Keshia said.

“No!” Alyidil said. “She can get her own.”

“Just listen.” And so, we did.

“That has potential,” I declared. Alyidil simply grinned her approval.

* * * *

The six of us dressed and left for breakfast. An hour later found us in a particular spice shop. The daughter was watching the shop. I walked up to her, but I thought I was going to go away disappointed. “Do you know who I am?”

“You’re the charm maker! You came in months ago. Mother was wondering if you’d ever come back.” She looked down. “I broke the charm.”

“I find that unlikely.”

“I got it snagged, and it broke.”

“Oh. The leather broke.”

“Yes.”

“It’s just leather. Did you lose the charm?”

“No.”

“Then replace the leather, but it’s best if you use a fresh piece. Don’t just tie a knot. You can, but it’s better if you use a fresh piece, so it lies in the same place.” I gestured on myself.

She smiled broadly. “Thanks. I will. Mother is going to want to talk to you. You’re here to talk to her, right? You didn’t just come in for sugar.”

“I didn’t come for sugar,” I agreed.

“I’ll get her.” And she hurried to the back.

Lal Keshia and I roamed the store; the other four were waiting outside for us, enjoying the day. “Do you have a plan?” I asked.

“I thought you had a plan,” she replied.

“I have a small plan here with the spice merchant. I was asking about a much, much longer plan.”

“I have a plan, and you’re right. It’s going to take a long time.”

“How long?”

“I’m not completely sure. Decades, probably.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m making a life here. Even if I build a coven here, I may decide to stay. I don’t think there will be anything waiting for me if I go back. Maybe Shi`nual will come back and help guide me again.”

“Maybe she will.”

Then I heard the curtains. We turned, and Margie, the spice merchant, was there, her daughter following after. They both came to a stop on their side of the counter. I smiled and stepped up.

“My daughter needs a new piece of leather.”

“It’s just leather,” I said. “The magic is in the charm itself.”

She nodded. “You were right.”

“About?”

“Abusing a particular charm.”

My tone turned cold. “What did you do?”

“Not me,” she said. “My daughter’s other mother.”

The girl snorted. “Now I have three mothers.”

“What?” I yelled. “What did you do?”

From behind both of them, I heard laughing. Another woman appeared, and she wrapped an arm around the waist of the spice merchant. “Hi. I’m Zeltari.” She held out her hand.

I eyed it. “Are you Mother One, Mother Two, or Mother Three?”

“Three,” she said.

I accepted the touch then said, “I think I need to hear the story.” But I eyed the girl.

“Don’t mind me,” she said. “I’m short for my age, but I’m 16. I think it’s funny as anything.”

“What happened?”

“I tried your charm, the first night,” said the shopkeeper.

“I take it that you found it… effective.”

“I found it entirely overwhelming, and Mother Two was quite impressed.” She folded her arms. “You omitted one important detail.”

“Oh?”

“I couldn’t take it off.”

“Of course, you could.”

“No. Seldissa had to do it for me.”

“You should be able to remove it.”

“Oh, I probably can, but I can’t bring myself to do so.”

“Oh. Well, if you wear it too long, that might be true. So, I’m not a fraud.”

“Apparently not. Seldissa wore it the second night.”

“Did you have a nice time?”

“Yes,” she said. “Are you gloating?”

“Not at all,” I said, trying to put on a straight face. I turned to the girl. “Do you really know what’s going on?”

“They were loud,” she said. “Really, really loud. It was pretty obvious what they were doing, but they’ve never been that loud before.”

“In our younger years,” Margie said. “Ahem.”

“We haven’t come to Zeltari yet.”

“Yes, well,” Margie said. “Zeltari is a terrible flirt.”

“I’m a very, very good flirt,” Zeltari objected.

“She’s been trying to invite herself home with us for a long time.”

“That part is true. I almost caught them once. This was before Laurette came along.”

“Before this story goes further, someone tell me you didn’t use the charm on Zeltari,” I said.

“They did,” Zeltari replied. “But that comes later.” She grinned broadly and fanned herself. “Got more?”

“I’m not at all sure I do,” I said. “Keep going.”

“Seldissa suggested we go dancing,” Margie said.

“And she sent me a note telling me they were going dancing, and where,” Zeltari said. “Imagine my surprise.”

“Imagine mine when Zeltari sat down at our table,” Margie said. “Now, understand something. I always thought she was just teasing, and the times when Seldissa said we should accept, I thought she was teasing, too.”

“What happened?”

“We were having a nice evening,” Margie said.

“I was behaving myself,” Zeltari added. “I didn’t blow in their ears when we danced or anything.”

“And?”

“And, Seldissa had the charm with her, and she dropped it over my neck,” Margie said.

Laurette snickered.

“She made sure it was in just the right place, then began whispering into my ear. She told me to keep it right where it was. And then she told me to dance with Zeltari.”

“And she whispered to me that if I wasn’t serious, I should take off,” Zeltari said. “I’ve always been serious, although I admit it had become a game. At first, we were just dancing. Then the musicians began to play a slow song, and Margie pulled me to her. She’d never done that before, and the times I’ve tried, she’s pushed me away. But she pulled me to her, and it didn’t take long before I realized she was… um. Happy to see me.”

“That means she was horny as a teenage boy,” Laurette said. “If you didn’t understand the euphemism.”

“I think I got it, Laurette,” I said. “But thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” said the girl.

“While we were dancing, I finally asked Margie, ‘What are you doing?’”

“And?”

“And she said Seldissa had dropped a lust charm around her neck, and whatever happened next wasn’t her fault.”

“She swept me from the dance floor and shoved me into Seldissa’s arms,” Margie said. “I tried to get her to come with us.”

“I didn’t know what was going on,” Zeltari continued. “But I didn’t want to do a thing that might destroy a friendship that means a lot to me.”

“So, I told Seldissa to make her come home with us.”

“I didn’t know what to do,” Zeltari explained. “Seldissa simply smiled and said, we both love you, and we’d like if you came home with us.”

“And if I thought two of them could be loud,” Laurette said. “The three of them are terrible.” She didn’t look upset about that.

“And now?”

“She hasn’t left since,” Laurette explained. “I think she’s afraid they’ll lock her out.”

“I am not!” Zeltari said with a laugh. “Jeraya, do you have any meek and mild charms?”

“I’m afraid not, but if I learn how to make a silence charm, would you like one?”

“Definitely.”

“Hey!” Laurette complained. “Wait. Does it silence them?”

I laughed. “I don’t know. Maybe it makes you deaf.”

“Only while I’m wearing it.”

“Sure,” I said. “If that’s what you want.”

She eyed me. “I think you’re making it up now.”

“I did say I’d have to learn.”

“If you can make one that makes me deaf while they’re at it, I’ll take a dozen.”

“I think we wore out your charm,” Margie admitted. It was her turn to fan herself. “Jeraya, you have our attention.”

“I want to ask. Have you noticed the other charms doing anything?”

“I still go to school,” Laurette said. “And some of the kids are real jerks. They haven’t been paying attention to me. Well, until I broke the charm.”

“If that was all it did,” Margie said, “You would have our attention.”

“How about the other one?”

“I believe Seldissa was wearing it when she dropped the lust charm around my neck.”

I laughed. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Should I apologize?”

“No.”

“All right. I’m new at this. I had help making the last ones, and I don’t know if new ones will be as effective. It might take some practice. I need herbs, spices, incense, flowers, seeds, and probably other things you don’t normally carry. Until I experiment, I won’t know what is most effective.”

“Anything in particular? What is used in the lust charm?”

“Vanilla, cinnamon, and rose hips. I use both ground vanilla beans and vanilla extract. The cinnamon should be dried bark, but I grind it myself. The rose hips can be dried. But I want a variety. I need to learn and practice.”

“How much do you need?”

“I am trying to find a steady supplier,” I explained. “Someone I can count on. I’m not offering you charms to sell. I am offering them for the use of you and the immediate members of your family.”

“How much?”

“I don’t really know,” I said. “Freshness matters, but a little goes a long way, just like in cooking. What do you want for one jar of everything in your shop?”

“One jar? You only need a jar? A big jar?”

“No, no.” I turned and grabbed the nearest jar I saw. “This size. Half this for those things that don’t store well. After that, I’d let you know, but I might want a complete refresh periodically.”

“How often is that?”

“I don’t know. Every six months, maybe a year? I’ll probably ask for some spices far more than others.”

“You also mentioned incense. We have a variety.”

“Most charms like a little smoke,” I said. “I can use candle smoke, but incense is better, if it complements the other ingredients.”

“The jars are the most dear,” she said, “but most spices do best in a tight, glass jar.”

“I know.”

“Can someone wear more than one charm at a time?”

“Yes, but at some point they fight with each other. They have to remain against your skin, and they shouldn’t be touching each other, but they can be on the same leather if you fashion a way to separate them. You can knot the leather and slide a charm on, add another knot to hold it on the other side, then another knot a distance way.”

“I see,” Margie said. “How soon can I have four more of the evil ward charms?”

“And another lust charm?” Zeltari asked.

Lal Keshia handed me a pouch. Carefully wrapped within were several charms. I laid them out on the countertop. “I made these myself, without my old teacher. I’m told they should be effective.” I added one more charm. “We tested this one ourselves last night. I can’t say it is the same as the one I gave you last, because we didn’t test that one.”

“What else do you have in there?” Zeltari asked.

“Two more of the good luck charms. Did you explain that one to her?”

“It helps people make lucky choices,” Zeltari said.

“Yes, that’s a good way of putting it.”

“I want one of those,” Laurette said. “And when my evil ward wears off, will you make more for me?”

“Yes. Why do you need four more evil wards now? Laurette’s should be good for months.”

“I have a daughter,” Zeltari said. “We are now a household of five.”

I slid one of the wards to her. “This is a gift for your daughter.”

“Thank you,” Zeltari whispered. She gathered it to her.

Then Margie and I locked gazes. “You don’t have a clue what to charge, do you?” she asked.

“No, not really.”

“What else can you make?”

“I’m not entirely sure. I need to learn. It may take time.”

“I want to be your sole spice supplier.”

“I’m not trading enough for you to sell.”

“I heard you the first time,” she said. Then she unbuttoned her blouse, and I saw she was wearing the good luck charm, making a point. I nodded. “We know your lust charm works.” She gestured to the new one. “That was effective?”

“Definitely,” I said. “But it may not be the same. I will provide evil wards for the five of you. Let us say fresh charms every six months, but if we find they are becoming less effective, I’ll make them more often. I will depend upon you telling me if you need them more often. I can provide the good luck charms as well.” And then I fished the last two charms out and set them on the counter. “And as long as you promise me the lust charm is never worn by anyone but the three of you, I can periodically provide one, but I’m not sure I’ll be in a position to do so every two months. I may be doing some traveling.”

“If you learn to make more charms, you will tell me,” Margie said.

“Agreed.”

“I will provide you the spices you have asked for that we carry. If you find you need large quantities of the more expensive spices, we may need further discussion.”

“Can you ship?”

“You will pay any shipping fees, but yes, I can.”

“If I start asking for too much, you’ll tell me, and we’ll come to an agreement.”

“Our agreement is simple,” she replied. “You will provide to me any charms that are likely to be beneficial to my immediate family, right now, five of us. I will provide the spices you need. As you learn more charms, you will also provide those. If this agreement becomes lopsided in either direction, we’ll talk again.”

I smiled and held out my hand. We touched and smiled.

And then Margie’s hand snaked out, and she rescued the lust charm from Laurette. “You don’t need that.”

“Maybe I didn’t want you to have it,” Laurette said with a grin. “Seriously, Jeraya. A silence charm. A deafness charm. I don’t care.”

I laughed. “I can’t promise.”

“Laurette, prepare a crate,” Margie said. “You’ll need a porter, but there are always a few hanging around.”

“She should use Suzella,” Laurette said. “She could use the work, and no one hires girls.”

“See if she’s out there,” Margie said. “Then prepare a crate.” She began to bustle around her shop, piling jars on the counter, periodically opening a jar and commanding me to sniff.

“I need a mortar and pestle. Where do I find one?”

“Wood?”

“Stone.”

“I have marble,” she said. She retrieved a small box and set it on the counter.

Twenty minutes later found us back outside the shop, two wooden crates on the porter’s cart. Suzella seemed pleased to pull our things for us, and Lal Keshia paid her well once things were secured at the inn.

* * * *

“So.”

Jessine stopped in the doorway. “Hello, Jeraya,” she said gently. “I thought you’d forgotten me.”

“Long story,” I told her. “Did you want to hear it?”

“What happened to your accent?”

“It’s part of the story. Join us for dinner tonight if you want to hear it.”

She eyed all of us. “You have very unusual friends.”

“I know. Maybe you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you,” she said. “I was worried, though. Where have you been?”

“It’s part of the same story.”

“This must be some story.” She gestured. “That one looks rather possessive?”

“This is Alyidil, and she is,” I said.

“You didn’t come here for a repeat.”

“I came here to see if you would come to dinner with us. Good food. Interesting conversation. Maybe an intriguing offer. Maybe not. No obligations.”

“All right,” she said. “Sure.”

“We’ll collect you. Here? Dress to impress. Six?”

“Sure.”

Later, it was apparent she had taken me seriously. We had, too, all seven of us looking quite nice. We had rented a large carriage, although it was cozy with seven. Still, no one seemed to mind.

I provided introductions during the ride, and was just finishing when we pulled up in front of the restaurant.

Inside we sat, with me between Alyidil and Lal Keshia, and Jessine between Mayolin and Burquiri.

We made small talk for a few minutes, but then she spent a long, long moment staring at Burquiri.

“She’s very exotic,” I said.

“She is,” Jessine said. “You are. The four of you. Burquiri, right?”

“Yes.”

“Alyidil is your sister.”

“Right, and Mayolin our cousin.”

She turned the other way, and then looked past Mayolin to Filfoyss. “And you’re someone’s other cousin?”

“Friend,” Filfoyss said. “We’ve all been friends for a long time. Well, Jeraya is new for us, only several months.”

“Are we making you uncomfortable?” Burquiri asked.

“No,” Jessine said. “But I feel like the fly around a bunch of spiders.” She picked up her wine and sipped from it. Then she turned to me. “What’s going on?”

“You’re going to accuse me of lying. I promise you, I’m not, and I can provide some evidence, but not until later.”

“This should be good.”

I told her the basics. I didn’t mention midnight visits to steal me from my bed, or anything suggesting I wasn’t entirely willing. I told her the rest.

She cried bullshit a few times, but then she sat quietly, and I couldn’t read her body language.

“So that wasn’t really you,” she said when I finished.

“It was, and it wasn’t. I was along. I didn’t actually get to see everything. But the conversation about apprenticeships was for my benefit.”

“But she was doing the talking. I was making love to a goddess. You were a voyeur, watching in.”

“Are you offended?”

“I haven’t decided.”

“I enjoyed everything that happened, but it is unlikely I ever would have been brave enough to instigate any of that.”

She laughed. “I picked you up.”

“I distinctly remember two others, but I didn’t see how that happened.”

“Oh, that part was definitely you. You egged me on. Wait. She did. Not you.”

“I understood what you meant.”

“Two is good, but four is four times as good.”

I laughed. “It seemed like everyone enjoyed herself.”

“Why are you telling me all this, Jeraya? You are Jeraya now. You’re not some new god.”

“Entirely myself,” I confirmed.

“And them?”

“Entirely themselves, although Lal Keshia has her own story.”

“That’s an unusual name.”

“I’m from very far away,” Lal Keshia said. “It’s a different story.”

Jessine gestured back and forth. “I can’t tell whether you’re with Alyidil or Lal Keshia.”

“Both,” I said.

“Oh.” She looked left and right. “What’s going on, Jeraya?”

“Come on. You aren’t going to accuse me of lying.”

“You have to admit: it’s hard to believe.”

“Agreed. I can offer evidence, but later. Can we assume for the sake of this conversation I’m not lying?”

“Sure.”

I told her the rest, about making charms. And then Alyidil produced one and set it on the table. It got passed around until it was sitting in front of Jessine. “What does that do?”

“A ward against evil,” I said. “I have another one for you though.”

“What does that one do?”

“I’m not ready to tell you.” I gestured. “That’s safe to put on.”

“It clashes with the dress.”

“Your choice,” I said. “It’s a gift. It should last four to six months and must be worn against the skin. That’s why I talked to you about learning jewel craft.”

She picked up the ward. “I can see why.”

“That’s not it. I don’t care what they look like. But more powerful charms must be infused into the jewelry as it is made, and the structure of the design becomes part of the magic.”

Her gaze snapped up to me. “You’re not lying about any of this.”

“I’m being selective in what I’m telling you,” I admitted. “But I’m not lying.”

She eyed the charm. “This is really ugly, Jeraya. I’m a jewelry maker with a reputation to uphold. I can’t wear this. It’s hanging from a piece of leather! And it’s ugly. Did I mention it’s ugly?”

“I didn’t come to your shop and disparage your necklaces because they attract bad luck instead of ward it away,” I said.

“They don’t attract bad luck!”

“Oh? Wearing expensive jewelry doesn’t draw attention from people willing to steal it?”

She snorted. “That’s fair. You’re right. I’m sorry. But come on. You know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” I admitted. “And you’re right. They’re ugly. Most people would wear them under their tunic, I suppose. But so far, I’ve been giving them away, and I’m not going to buy expensive charms to magic.”

“I think we just arrived at the crux of the conversation, haven’t we?”

“Close enough,” I agreed. “I want to offer myself as your apprentice, but under my terms, not yours.”

I spent twenty minutes telling her what I wanted, and then said, “You might not be interested. If so, perhaps we can discuss a partnership, so at least I can make more attractive charms.”

She said nothing for a while, although she had long picked up the charm and was holding it in her hands, touching her palm. Finally, she said, “You promised proof.”

“Evidence,” I corrected. “You may not care for it. How daring are you feeling?”

“I think you’re full of shit,” she said.

“If I’m not?”

“I think I want to see this evidence.”

I shook my head. “If my evidence is convincing.”

“I don’t know, Jeraya. You’re asking me to leave Rosegrove. That’s not how apprenticeships are supposed to work.

“I’m asking you to consider it, but if you’re not interested in meeting me at least halfway, then we should discuss a simple partnership. Either way, you need to experience my evidence. Or maybe you’re not interested that much.”

“Sure,” she said. “Let’s see your evidence.” She waved the charm. “This isn’t it.”

“No.”

“I’m not going to wear this.” She handed it back to Burquiri, and it made its way back into my pouch.

Lal Keshia paid our bill, and we made our way to the carriage, and from there to our room at the inn, all of us crowding into the larger of the two rooms.

The charm was already waiting, and I collected it from the top of the dresser. Then I turned and walked to Jessine. “Tell me. If Burquiri had tried to pick you up, would she have been successful?”

“Seriously? You’re asking me that?” she asked. I lifted the charm. “That’s as ugly as the last one.”

“I know,” I said. “Do you want to know what it is, or should I just drop it over your head, and you can find out.” She waved a finger at me. I smiled. “It won’t hurt you. Well, you’ll be walking funny in the morning.”

“What is it?”

“Lust. It takes a few minutes.”

“You’re not serious.”

“If I’m lying, it won’t do anything. Care to call my bluff?”

“No.” But her eyes were fixed on the charm. “Is it really?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Is one of those why we had a foursome?”

“No. They work on the person wearing it.”

“So, if I told you to put that on?”

“Then Alyidil and Lal Keshia would find me quite ravenous for the entire time I was wearing it, until they take it from me, plus a little while longer.”

“Days?”

“Normally through the current fun,” I said. “So, another half hour.”

“Then you’re doing it wrong.”

“Not if you’ve already been at it half the night.”

She snorted. “Fair enough. So, you want me to wear that?”

“I would be quite pleased, but I wouldn’t try to force you.”

“And then I become your mewling kitten?”

“No. And then you become Burquiri’s mewling kitten. Or maybe you prefer Mayolin. Or maybe one of them plus Filfoyss.”

“Why not all three?”

“Cousins.”

“Oh. You’re not telling me everything.”

“They’ve been sharing Filfoyss back and forth.”

She began laughing. “You’re a total pimp. A complete, utter pimp, and you’re trying to pimp me to your friends.”

“Yep. Going to go along with it?”

“So, Burquiri?”

“We’d alternate,” Mayolin said. “Or that’s what we’d like.”

“We both like Filfoyss,” Burquiri said. “If we don't interest you, or if this is too weird, we understand.”

“I’d give you the charm,” I said, “but frankly, I’m afraid you’d drape it over someone else’s neck. If anyone is wearing it, you are.”

“It’s ugly, Jeraya.”

“Do you really think you’re going to care five minutes after I put it around your neck?”

“No, but I will for those five minutes.”

“You’re stalling now.”

“Give it here.”

“Uh, uh. I want to do it.”

“Fine,” she said. “Someone help me take this off.” She pulled her hair out of the way and turned her back to Burquiri. A moment later, she had Jessine’s necklace off. I stepped closer, and she nodded, then ducked her head to let me lower the leather over her neck. I settled the charm between her breasts. She took the necklace from Burquiri and stepped to the dresser. Her shoes came off, and the necklace landed on the dresser. “I don’t feel a thing.”

“You’re so impatient.”

We watched her. She looked at me for a minute, then she moved to the window. I waited until she began to fidget before I nodded to Burquiri. Alyidil’s sister stepped over and set her hands on Jessine’s shoulders.

We waited another minute before she turned and looked at me. “You haven’t been lying.”

“No, I haven’t. If you don’t want what is going to happen next, ask me to come remove it. You probably can’t bring yourself to do it.”

She shifted her gaze to Burquiri. She lifted her hand to caress one dark cheek. Her fingers trembled.

“No one is going to touch you without permission,” I said.

“Everyone get out,” she said. “Not you.” She grabbed Burquiri’s hand. “You stay, too, Filfoyss. Everyone else out.”

“Take care of her, Burquiri,” I said.

Surprise

It was some hours later. I crept into the other room. There were three forms on the bed, Jessine the furthest. Using the light from one of my stones, I found the charm on the bedside table. I collected it. These things were dangerous to leave around. Then I turned to Jessine.

She was watching me, so I knelt down, letting the stone light both our faces. “More evidence,” I said. “Although not as dramatic. Did you have a nice time?”

“I accept you as my apprentice,” she said. “Per your terms.”

“Do you need to talk to your mother?”

“Yes, I suppose. She’s going to tell me I’m a fool. Can we arrange a demonstration?”

“You want me to give your mother a lust charm?”

“I suppose not,” she said. “One of those will do.” She gestured to the stone. “Mother’s shop will sell any charms made from my jewelry.”

“Agreed. We will divide profit evenly. I can make ugly charms and you can make beautiful jewelry, but it takes both of us to make beautiful charms.”

“Three ways, as Mother will be the one selling them.”

“Fair enough. Jessine, we won’t be selling lust charms. They’re far too dangerous.”

“Fair enough, but give that one back.”

“No, but I’ll hand it to Burquiri any time she asks for it.”

She snorted. “That will do. I think I wore them out.”

“Burquiri is awake.”

“Do you think we should ask if she’s still interested.”

Burquiri rolled closer to Jessine and draped an arm over her. I heard a gentle kiss.

* * * *

We reached Deepwater. Jessine looked down the hill at the village. “I can’t believe I let you lure me here.”

“How’s the sex?” I asked.

“That’s not the point.”

“How’s the sex, Jessine?”

“There’s more to life than sex.”

“Why can’t you answer me.”

She turned to me. “The sex is amazing, with or without your damned charm, but they sure seem to enjoy dropping it over my neck.”

I laughed. “Not once have I heard you ask them to stop doing that.”

“I’d like to return the favor.”

“Do you really think they’d say ‘no’ to you, Jessine? What is this really about?”

“I miss Mother.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“I haven’t had a really good fight with anyone in nearly three weeks.”

I laughed. “Seriously, Jessine.”

“Well, I really do miss Mother. And you’re my first apprentice. I’ve had her beside me my entire life. What if I need her help?”

“I might be unruly, and you need advice keeping me in line.”

“Exactly.”

“Is that the real problem?”

“A little, yeah.”

“Jessine, when was the last time you needed her help to make something?”

“Several years, but we share designs all the time.”

“I’m sorry about that part. There’s one more secret to tell you, but we didn’t want to tell you until we got here. I bet there’s more going on though.”

She gestured. “It’s so small.”

“They’re lovely people.”

“I miss Mother.”

“Jessine.”

“I always expected to inherit her shop.”

“Your mother is alive and healthy, and this will only last exactly as long as you want it to.”

“So, you think I’m going to up and pack, leave everyone behind. Leave Burquiri, Mayolin, and Filfoyss? Or maybe they’ll leave Alyidil? Or I’ll convince all of you to move back to Rosegrove?”

“Jessine.”

“Damn it, Jeraya.”

“Admit it. You’re addicted to the sex.”

“Just damn it.”

I lowered my gaze. “You regret ever putting on the necklace.”

“No, I don’t.” She used her fingers to lift my chin. “I don’t regret one decision. I’m being stupid. Okay, I’d rather we could have stayed in Rosegrove, but I’m tired from the journey, and I’m horny, and I can’t believe I just said that.”

I laughed. “The house is right there. Ask for a bath then take them to bed.”

“I think they’re in jumping Filfoyss.”

“You know there’s at least one of them available, Jessine. What’s going on?”

“I’m completely in love, and it’s scaring the crap out of me.”

I laughed. “Seriously?”

“And I miss Mother, and my favorite restaurant, and my backside hurts, and I don’t think I can stand letting anyone touch me right now, and I’m so fucking horny anyway.”

“You poor thing.”

“I can feel the sympathy from here. I want my own shop, but that’s stupid, because we’d get about three customers a year.”

“We need a workshop, anyway,” I said. “We both do. We’ll make one here. Maybe no one comes. We’ll make our jewelry and our charms and send them to your mother. We’ll keep some here. Maybe we’ll develop a reputation. Maybe we won’t. Once you teach me enough, and once I learn enough magic, we’ll make very special charms on commission. Jessine, you’re going to become more famous than your mother.”

“I don’t want to be more famous than Mother.” She turned away. “God, I’m being a bitch.”

“I take it we haven’t gotten to the bottom of everything. Are you jealous of Filfoyss?”

“No.”

“Are you jealous of anyone?”

“I wouldn’t have minded a repeat with you, but no, everything else seems wrong, but not that part.”

“All right.”

“I’m being stupid.” She turned back. “We’ll build a shop?”

“We’ll build it together. We’ll pick a good spot for it, somewhere up here, with room for both of us and the things for our crafts. I’m yours, half time. The other half I’ll be working on the magic part. But we’ll make pretty charms together, too.”

“Do you have any anti-bitchy charms?”

I laughed. “The last time I saw it, Mayolin had my best one.”

“She would have given it to Burquiri for safe-keeping. A shop. Can it be pretty?”

“It can be whatever you want.”

“Shouldn’t it be what you want?”

“Pretty is your thing,” I said. “Good service is mine.”

“I can see that,” she agreed.

I hooked a thumb. “They’re wrapped around our fingers. They’ll do anything we ask.”

She made a crude gesture. “If you’re only using fingers, you’re doing it wrong.”

I laughed. “I’m pretty sure I’ve done it that way, too.”

“No one’s going to come to our shop.”

“That just means we’ll have time to get more stuff done.”

“I kind of get off watching people lust after the things I make.”

“I don’t have a charm for that, but maybe I can make one.”

She bumped me. “Funny.”

“It’s going to take about six months, but your mother is going to begin demanding greater output, once people begin to realize the charms work. And the best part?”

“They aren’t forever.”

“That’s right. But we need to make cheap ones, too. We’re not just making them for rich people.”

“My apprentice will be making the crappy ones. We’ll start with pewter.”

“Perfect.”

“I’m horny.”

I laughed. “You know what you need to do about that.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Race you to the tub.”

I let her win.

* * * *

She was occupied that evening, and frankly, so was I. We told her about Lal Keshia the next night.

She was rather surprised, but took it in stride.

* * * *

We built a shop, doing much of the work ourselves, but Lal Keshia hired help from the village as necessary. I didn’t understand, but I wasn’t able to work as hard as I was accustomed, and I began to wonder if I was sick.

Furthermore, Jessine put off my jewelry lessons, which I found frustrating. Finally, she said, “Lal Keshia’s orders, so go yell at her.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

I stomped off until I found her, reading a book in the library. “Why did you tell Jessine not to teach her apprentice?”

She set aside her book and then said, “Because Shi`nual told me to.”

“When?”

“One of the times she’d put you to sleep,” she replied, “a day or two before she left. You may make charms, but you may not go near jewelry making.”

“Are you serious? We brought Jessine here and now I’m not supposed to learn from her?”

“It’s temporary.”

“How temporary?”

“A year or so. Jessine needs to get the shop the way she wants it, and you have plenty you’re learning. You can charm the pendants she makes, but you are to stay out of her side of the shop. Or else.”

“Or else, what?”

“Or else.”

“Seriously? That’s the best you can do”

“Shi`nual’s orders, Jeraya.”

“Did she explain why?”

“No. A year. Do not fight me, Jeraya. This isn’t my fault, but she told me this was exceedingly important. You are not to go near any molten metal or any of the various noxious things Jessine uses.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because she told me not to tell you any sooner than I had to.”

I made a rude gesture. “You should have told me.”

“Well, now I have.”

“What else did she tell you?”

“That is between us. I’m not answering any more questions on this. Now, would you like a good cuddle?”

“Yes. I’m going to find Alyidil.”

And I stormed out, but Alyidil had overheard, and she opened her arms to me. I ran to her. And then I didn’t fight when she brought me back to the library, and I didn’t fight either of them when they brought me upstairs together.

* * * *

I learned more magic. I taught myself, and Lal Keshia guided me, but she said, “As long as you are growing more comfortable, I think you should make your own way. If your progress slows down, I can help, but she taught you different magic than I use. I don't know how to make these types of charms.”

“You made that bracelet.”

“Yes. Are you asking me to teach you?”

“No. I don’t want you teaching me bad things, and that’s a bad thing. Lal Keshia, you once told me you weren’t rich.”

“By my standards, I’m not.”

“You always seem to have money, but I don’t know where it comes from. Are you turning lead into gold or something?”

“In the realm of things, it isn’t that much money.”

“Why won’t you answer my question?”

“Jeraya, will you cuddle with me?”

“Is this a you and me thing or a you and Alyidil and me thing or an entire household thing?”

“It can be whatever you want.”

“Am I going to become angry?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“I think I want Alyidil, too. I’m going to go find her and bring her back.”

“All right. You may not have to look very far. She’s in the hall, eavesdropping.”

“I’m not eavesdropping,” Alyidil said, stepping into the room. She moved to me, and then the three of us moved to the sofa. I found myself cuddling with Lal Keshia, and Alyidil lay down with her head in my lap. I put a hand on her shoulder.

“I love you,” Lal Keshia said. “I love both of you. I don’t say it very often.”

“You show us,” I said. I leaned up and kissed her check. “I feel very loved by both of you, by everyone in the house.”

“Well, I should say it,” she said. “I want to talk about Shi`nual.”

“All right,” I said. Alyidil took my hand, holding it to her, and I snuggled in a little more.

“Shi`nual is known to have certain tastes. I want to talk about them.”

“Female, red hair, violet eyes.”

“Yes. Those are an absolute. And as elves may have violet hair, and red eyes, but never red hair and violet eyes, she doesn’t accept one of us as her host.”

I smiled. “You would look fabulous in violet hair.”

“You think so?”

“Yes.”

“There are charms to change hair color, but let’s stay on track.”

“Sure. Shi`nual. Hates elves.”

“Something like that. After that, she seems to prefer things, some of them quite, quite clearly. While I’m sure it has happened, I have not heard of her coming to an offering who did not include attendants.”

“You, Alyidil, and the others.”

“Right. After that, while it may not be an absolute, she clearly has preferences. She prefers an offer made from someone’s home. People have tried other locations, some of which have been quite, quite beautiful, but she doesn’t seem to accept. Not that everyone knows every offer she accepts, and she doesn’t necessarily talk about all of this, unless she did with you.”

“No, she didn’t.”

“She seems to prefer that the house is built by the people living in it.”

“You built this house.”

“The five of us built it.”

“You were planning.”

“For a decade, darling.”

“What else?”

“She prefers a beautiful location.”

“Like the top of a cliff beside the ocean.”

“Yes, that is her favorite, but she will accept other offers. She enjoys visiting cities, but unless it is an especially beautiful location, she doesn’t tend to accept invitations within a city.”

“I’m starting to understand. There was more involved than I knew.”

“You were overwhelmed, and it wasn’t really important for you to understand all of this.”

“Which means we’re still getting to your main point.”

“We are. She has a certain type of person she prefers, someone like you, someone who likes to please, but I was desperate, so you could have been the most horrible person, and I would have at least tried.”

“I’m glad you don’t think I’m horrible.”

“I don’t think you’re at all horrible.”

“I was kind of horrible, at first.”

“No, darling. You were scared and justifiably angry, and not for one minute did I blame you.”

“I did,” Alyidil said. She grinned.

“You’re a tease.”

“I know.”

“There’s something else you need to know,” Lal Keshia said. “Shi`nual has never come for someone who is being rewarded in any way. It is expected that your attendants will see to your needs afterwards, and we can be the dearest of friends. But we can’t offer you any sort of compensation. None. Oh, normally you would know what to expect. Some people have tried to sell themselves off to the highest bidder.”

“That’s terrible.”

“She’s been fooled a few times, maybe more than a few, but people don’t tend to admit it. When she finds out, she’s rather terrible about it. At the very, very least, she would have immediately left. Worst would have been to offer poor advice.”

“Does she take it out on the host?”

“She doesn’t kill her, but she may play one of her tricks and then leave as soon as she’s sure the host won’t die from it. The host wakes up, and she’s gone.”

“That would be pretty terrible.”

“It’s a pretty firm rejection,” Lal Keshia said. “And so we’re coming to my main point.”

“You couldn’t offer to pay me.”

“Not one single crown. As presented, there was so much wrong with this offer. You weren’t willing, and that was the worst, but there were other factors.”

“How else was I not perfect?”

“You’re kind of old,” Alyidil said.

“I’m 24. That’s hardly old.”

“She’s teasing,” Lal Keshia said. “You’re kind of innocent.”

“Shi`nual is pretty debauched.”

“She was tame with you.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“I think she had a nice time,” I declared.

“I know she did,” Lal Keshia replied. “I am convinced she was quite pleased to have come, and I think she was pleased to have been able to see me, too.”

“Good. Lal Keshia, I have long forgiven anything that requires forgiving. If you kept things from me, that’s fine. All this is because I asked you about money.”

“I didn’t lie to you. I’ve never lied. But I may have understated a few things.”

“Like when you said you weren’t rich.”

“By my standards, I’m not. Even by the standards of this world, I’m not, not really. But I’ve acquired money, some of it through more reputable means than others.”

“You stole some of it?”

“No. I killed a few people who tried to kill me.”

“Oh.” I paused. “Oh.” I burrowed deeper. “Recently?”

“No. In Sendisha.”

“You are quite good at not telling me everything. I don’t want details, but would I come out of it with a different opinion of the situation if I had them?”

“You’re asking if I created the situation?”

“Or something, yes.”

“They took offense to the concept of actually completing a business transaction after I paid them.”

“They tried to cheat you?”

“Yes.”

“Was this while buying Alyidil?”

“No. It was while arranging to leave.”

“So…”

“So, they drew steel. I killed them. I took everything: my money, their money, gems, and the things they’d agreed to sell me. It took two extra pack horses to carry the extras I took, but conveniently, they had them waiting in the paddock for an enterprising elf.”

I laughed. “So. You’re rich.”

“We have money,” she said. “But I do not care to use it frivolously. Did you intend to spend some of it?”

“More quartz. That’s all.”

“I think we can handle that.”

“I want something else, too.”

“What’s that?”

“Take me to bed.”

“I think we can handle that, too,” she said with a grin.

* * * *

It was the next morning when I tried to pull on one of my dresses. “I’m getting fat.”

“What was that?” Alyidil asked.

I turned to her. “This dress doesn’t fit. I’m getting fat.”

“It’s your indulgent lifestyle,” she replied. “You’re not waiting tables sixteen hours a day. Should we work you harder?”

“You seem to think this is funny.”

“You’re right. I do.”

I balled up the dress and threw it at her. “I’m getting fat! I don’t have anything to wear.”

“I’ll help you,” she said. And then she put me into a blouse and skirt. I’d been wearing their colorful dresses for months, and it was the first time I’d worn a blouse and skirt in all that time.

“This isn’t mine.”

“It’s one of Lal Keshia’s,” Alyidil said. “The sleeves are a little long.”

“You think this is funny!”

“We’ve already determined that.”

“Why do you think it’s funny?”

“I tell you what, my love,” she said. “I’ll answer that over breakfast.”

“I’m not talking about how fat I’m getting in front of everyone else.”

“Okay.” And she flounced out of the room. Flounced! I say.

“Alyidil!”

She poked her head back in. “You’re not getting fat. Come downstairs.”

“I feel fat.”

“I know,” she said gently. “If you come downstairs, I won’t tease you anymore. Would you like help putting on some sandals?”

“Yes.”

I was kidding, but she did them for me anyway, then bent down and kissed my bare toes. I giggled. She took my hand and led us from our bedroom.

Everyone else was already waiting. Alyidil led me to my place at the table, got me settled, and then moved to stand behind me. “Jeraya has an announcement.”

“I do not!”

“Yes, you do,” she said. “Jeraya is with child.”

I froze. I played the words through my head. Twice. “I’m WHAT?”

“She means you’re pregnant,” Jessine translated.

“I know what it means. I can’t be pregnant.”

“Why not?” Lal Keshia asked.

“Because I haven’t done the sorts of things that are required for pregnancy.”

“I believe you,” she said. “I also believe that Shi`nual told you she played a little trick on you, and while you didn’t do the things required for pregnancy, she may have.”

“What?” I screamed. “She did what?”

“She may have engaged in certain activities.”

“She didn’t!” Yes. I screamed.

“All right. You’re not with child. You just have been gaining weight in a fashion that looks like a baby bump.”

“I don’t have a baby bump!”

“Pregnant women shouldn’t get so excited,” Jessine said. “It’s bad for the baby.”

I waved a finger at her. “I’m fairly sure you weren’t there.”

She held up her hands defensively. “I’m only saying…”

“You’re only saying what?”

“That you have a baby bump, and Lal Keshia won’t let you near my workshop, and it’s been five months since your goddess left, and the math all adds up. I noticed it weeks ago, but I was waiting for you to say something.”

“What does all that have to do with each other?”

“Well, baby bump and five months should be self-explanatory, and maybe my new apprentice doesn’t know this, but some of the processes used in jewelry making can be bad for expectant mothers. I figured it out after Lal Keshia said to keep you out of my shop.”

“She got me pregnant?”

“Yes, darling,” Lal Keshia said. “She got you pregnant.”

“And you’re just telling me now?”

“She said to consult with a midwife in, oh, another week or two, so I suppose I’d have to tell you soon.”

“She told you?”

“Of course. Congratulations, darling. You’re going to be a fabulous mother.”

“You think this is funny.” I waved my finger around. “You all think this is funny. I think I should feel violated.”

“Darling,” Lal Keshia said gently. “You knew she was having interesting experiences with your body.”

“I didn’t know she was having that kind of interesting experiences.”

“I’m not sure that’s any more outrageous than what you and I did,” Jessine said.

My pointing finger moved to her. I waved it at her. “What things?”

“If you’re this upset, I’m not sure I should tell you.”

“I think you’re just trying to tease me.”

“Too easy,” she replied. “I’m serious. What’s the first thing you remember from being with me?”

“Waking up and seeing the three of you. We were in your room.”

“Three of us, not just you and me.”

“Three of us, and then she made me sleep, but when I woke up again, it was just you and me.”

“Well, if it were my body, I think I’d be more upset about what happened when you weren’t paying attention than what seems to have happened to give you a baby bump.”

“You’re serious.”

“If it were my body.”

I turned back to Lal Keshia. “Do you know about this?”

“Not these exact details.”

“You said she was tame with me.”

“She was. She really can be quite outrageous. I told you: you’re kind of innocent, darling.”

“Apparently not as innocent as I thought.”

“Darling.”

“Do you think calling me that is going to calm me down?”

“Darling,” she said. “She asked if you were willing to help me. She told you that you are the only person on this world who can help me. You told her, if that was the case, that you’d help.”

“What has that to do with getting me pregnant.”

“A coven is twelve. Magic is very rare here. If she’s going to continue to help, we have to find more women with red hair and violet eyes.” She pointed at me. “One,” she said. Then she pointed to my stomach. “Two, three.”

“I’m pregnant with twins?” I screeched. She shrugged. “I’m supposed to have twelve kids?”

“Oh, can you imagine?” she asked. “Of course not. They’ll grow up and have several each, too. And when they’re each old enough, we’ll invite Shi`nual to visit, and she’ll leave a little magic behind.”

“You’re talking 30 or 40 years,” I said. “Maybe longer.”

“Yes. Probably longer, as they’ll need to learn magic afterwards.” She shrugged. “Who knows, though. Maybe I’ll decide I’d rather stay here, especially if I become a grandmother.”

I stared. No one spoke. Finally, I said, “That’s the plan.”

“That’s the current plan.” She dropped her gaze to my stomach. “Please, Jeraya, do you think you’ll let them call me Mother?”

I started crying, from one moment to the next, I was bawling my eyes out. Then Alyidil and Lal Keshia were both there. I bawled but said, “Three mothers. They have three mothers, and a whole house full of aunts. That’s the deal.”

“That’s the deal,” Lal Keshia said.

“And cousins!” I said. I lifted my head. “Cousins. And more sisters.” I poked Alyidil. “You think this is so funny? I can hardly wait for you to get pregnant.”

“Hey, I’m not inviting any random goddesses to get me knocked up.”

I turned to Lal Keshia. “And when she comes next time, we’re asking her how to get you pregnant, too.”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Promise me.”

“Promise.”

“All right then.”

Four Years

Four more years have passed.

I had twin girls, both with red hair and violet eyes. They were perfect, absolutely perfect. We named them Neomeris and Ilaria. They were very good babies, and grew well. I had nearly overwhelming support raising them, as the entire household stepped in.

Once I was no longer nursing, Jessine began teaching me in earnest. I will never be a gifted jeweler, and that may limit the spells I can infuse into jewelry, but I’ve surpassed Lal Keshia’s abilities with jewelry and charms.

I had her teach me the bracelet spell after all, but only so that I understood how it works. And then it took time, but I made two pairs of bracelets that I call my ‘daughter, where are you?’ bracelets. I wear one of each pair; Neomeris and Ilaria each wear the other half of a pair, and at any time, I simply think about them, and I know exactly where they are.

Jessine and I have both become rather wealthy. I charm everything she makes, with the agreement I’ll refresh the charm twice a year for ten years. They sell for twice the normal price, and people tend to buy more than one, as they do not care to be without the charms, but there is travel time to ship them back and forth to be recharmed. Jessine’s mother acts as our agent in Rosegrove and has begun to establish a broader network. I haven’t made any of the infused jewelry for anyone else yet, but it is only a matter of time.

As for relationships: we were all happy, exquisitely happy. Alyidil and Lal Keshia are perfect for me and with each other, and we couldn’t be more in love. Mayolin, Filfoyss, Burquiri, and Jessine have formed their own convoluted relationships, but from what I can tell, they are all in mutual love, as well, taking into consideration that two of them are cousins.

The entire household is quite strange, but what part of my story isn’t strange? I was a reluctant host to a goddess from another world.

* * * *

I didn’t notice when The Others began to clean and decorate the house. I was deeply focused on my own studies, after all, and the work all seemed to happen while I was occupied. And so, while I perhaps noticed the house looked nice, it was in passing, and I’m actually ashamed I didn’t notice sooner.

And then Lal Keshia and Alyidil declared it was a day for the three of us, and it began with breakfast followed by pampering in the tub. I should have begun to put things together, but I didn’t.

I didn’t the second day, either.

I started to grow suspicious the third day, when The Others became involved, including Jessine, and the lot of them pampered me.

But it wasn’t until the fourth day that I asked, “What is going on?” They laughed and didn’t answer.

It took me a week. It took me a week! “I’m an idiot,” I said. It was the silver lip paint that did it.

“Pretty much, yep,” Alyidil said. “Don’t fuss. You’ll smudge.”

“Stop,” I said. “Stop. This is my body. Now stop.”

They all froze. I looked between them, my gaze settling on Lal Keshia. “When were you going to tell me we were inviting Shi`nual?”

“I was a little surprised you didn’t figure it out the first day,” she said. “I knew you’d figure it out eventually.”

“I might have figured it out the first day if it had started with all of you.”

“I doubt it,” Alyidil declared.

I waved a finger at her, then at all of them. “This is my body.”

“That is confirmed,” agreed Lal Keshia.

“I’m a mother now, and I’m not going on some wild sex rampage all over the country.”

“Of course not.”

“You’re being awfully agreeable.”

“I’m letting you work it all out of your system,” she said. “You tend to rant, and then you do whatever we want.”

“I do not!”

“And you deny it when we suggest it.”

“I do not!” I repeated. I waved my finger at her. “You expect her to get me pregnant, probably with triplets this time.”

She set her hands on my shoulders. “Jeraya, do you want us to stop?”

“No,” I muttered.

“Are you angry with us?”

“No.”

“Do you want more daughters?”

“I think she should get you pregnant. Wait. She said she never comes for the same person twice.”

“She’s coming for me,” Alyidil said.

“I bet she doesn’t typically visit the same host twice.”

“And she may decline,” Lal Keshia said. “But this was the plan, Jeraya. We even discussed it, all of us, nearly five years ago.”

“I suppose we did.” I thought about it. “All right.”

“Yes?” she asked.

“Yes.”

She kissed me, very sweetly. And then they went to town on me.

* * * *

I lifted my hand. “No scarves this time,” I said. “Where are the darlings?”

“Long asleep,” Lal Keshia replied.

“Oh, of course. I’ll see them in the morning. Jeraya, did you like my surprise?”

“It was startling,” I said. “But you have to know I love our daughters.”

Alyidil moved in front of me. “Shi`nual, thank you for accepting our invitation.”

“Alyidil,” I said. I lifted my hand and caressed her cheek. “Are you happy?”

“I am. I have my three questions. I am not yet asking them, but I thought I would tell you what they will be.”

“Interesting. Of course.”

“Will you help Lal Keshia to become pregnant? Will you help me? And will you review Jeraya’s magic and teach her what Lal Keshia is unable to teach.”

I paused then nodded. “I wish to speak directly to Jeraya.” And then the world faded, and we were in the grey world. I walked towards myself, both of me smiling. “Those are terrible questions.”

“Why are they terrible questions?”

“Alyidil does not need my help to become pregnant.”

“She does if she wishes her daughters to closely resemble her, and we do not wish to undertake dangerous travel to find a father.”

“Perhaps,” she said.

“What’s wrong with the other two questions?”

“They aren’t questions. They are direct requests for my assistance. Jeraya, I answer questions. My powers are very limited.”

“Oh,” I said.

“I can help you, my host,” she continued. Then she smiled. “You have more power here than I do.”

“I do?”

“Other than seeing to the health of my host, I cannot act except through you. How was your delivery?”

“The midwife was rather impressed with the ease, although my perspective was somewhat different.”

She gave me a sweet kiss. “I can’t tell you what questions she should ask.” She offered another sweet kiss. “I am not staying so long this time. It’s very brief, actually. Four days.”

“Four days?” I think she heard my despair.

“I wanted to see you,” she said. “I wanted to know what choices you made. Or I wouldn’t have come.”

“Lal Keshia said this was the plan.”

“Yes, well, you don’t need me if she chooses to continue her plan. Your daughters and granddaughters need me, and they are not remotely old enough.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, Jeraya. I told you. I wanted to see what choices you made. I am pleased, and I’m happy to be back here with you, even if it is only briefly. Now, invite me to stay.”

“Please, Shi`nual, I would love if you would stay, for as long as you choose.”

“Do you freely offer use of your body, Jeraya? I think you have a better idea how I might use it.”

“Freely,” I said. “Are you going to jump into the ocean again?”

“That was unpleasant,” she said. “I’m going to look for a snake.”

“No snakes,” I said. “Well, none big enough to eat me.”

“Pity,” she said with a smirk.

“Why did we talk about poor questions if I can’t offer suggestions?”

“Maybe I’ll take a nap,” she said. “Be quick.”

And then I was looking through my own eyes, Alyidil immediately in front of me. I lifted my hands. Yes, I lifted my hands. I set them on her shoulders. “I’m Jeraya for a minute. Maybe more than a minute. Listen. She’s unimpressed with your questions. Lal Keshia, work on this, but I think you should ask what magic she could teach me so I can do what Alyidil asked.”

Then I shuddered, and my hands dropped. “Oh, dear. Did I nap? How unlike me.” I could hear the difference in my voice. “I do hope you didn’t discuss anything really important.” I looked around for a moment. “I remember you. Jessine. The jeweler. How is your apprentice?”

“Nearly, but not quite hopeless.”

“I thought she might be,” I said. “If anyone wants to make love to a goddess, come with me.”

* * * *

She packed a lot into four days. Oh, did she pack a lot into four days.

But in between, she taught me some interesting magic.

About the Author

A writer by avocation, Robin has a renaissance interest in many areas. A bit of a gypsy, Robin has called a few places home and has traveled widely. A love of the outdoors, animals in general and experimenting with world cuisines, Robin and partner share their home with a menagerie of pets and guests, although sometimes it is difficult to discern who is whom.

Robin can be reached via email as robin.roseau@gmail.com. Robin's web site is http://www.robin-roseau.com.

Works by Robin Roseau

The Madison Wolves Series

Fox Run

Fox Play

Fox Mate

Fox Afield

Fox Revenge

Fox Dish

Fox Lost

Wolf Watch

Wolf Ways

Wolf Women

Fox Fate

Jaguar

Omega Born

Omega Life

Omega Choice (coming soon)

Fox Short Stories

Hunting Pups

Fox in the Water

Fox Rematch (set after Fox Mate and Fox Afield)

Fox Opponent

A Foxy Valentine

Other Books in the Madison Wolves Universe

Familiar

Kitty Cat

Poor Little Witch Girl

Seer

Seer: Thrall

Seer: Guardian

The Selected Series

Collected

Taken

Volunteer

Candidate

Recruited

Galatea

Beginnings

Lottery

Selected Roommate

The Games People Play Series

Stories that ask a simple question: do you want to play a game?

Do You Want to Play a Game?

My Soul to Play

My Soul to Lose

The Five Kingdoms

Privateer

Searching the High Seas

The Pawn Series

Pawn

Bishop

Rook

Queen (Coming Soon)

Ressaline

Encircled (Claary)

Delegation (Allium)

Ambassador

Princess

Crown (Ahlianna)

Other Novels and Novellas

Anonymous Bidder

Blood Slave

A Charming Brew

Emergency Claus

Encircled

Fitting In

Fluid

Free to Love

Galatzi Trade

Galatzi World

Galatzi Joy

Galatzi Life

In Custody

Lace

Lost in the Words

Metabrain

Mind Wipe

Outside The Box

Red Paws Inn

Reluctant Host

Stark's Dell

Submission

Sugar Baby

Surprise

The Interrogation

Tresjolie

Trust

White

The Ski Bindings Shorts

Short stories of love and lust amongst the slopes.

Snow Fox

Short Stories

Cooking for Love

Southern Night

Captured by the Raptor (writing as Rosetta Robins)

Reluctant Host

Copyright 2019 by Robin Roseau

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, copied in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise transmitted without written permission from the publisher. You must not circulate this book in any format.

This is a work of fiction. Names, places, businesses, characters and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, actual events or locales is purely coincidental.

* * *

License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Credits and Cover Art

Reluctant Host

Surprise Visitors

Intentions

Touch

Travels

Waiting

Preparing Me

Ritual

Unhappy Goddess

Debauched

Discussion

Am I Dead

Along

An Education

Farewell

Recovery

Plans

Surprise

Four Years

About the Author

Works by Robin Roseau

The Madison Wolves Series

Fox Short Stories

Other Books in the Madison Wolves Universe

The Selected Series

The Games People Play Series

The Five Kingdoms

The Pawn Series

Ressaline

Other Novels and Novellas

The Ski Bindings Shorts

Short Stories