Just Married?

By

Natasha West

Copyright © 2019 by Natasha West

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

One

Emily Bartlett, teacup halfway to her lips, paused and looked at her fiancée, Katie, with confusion. ‘I beg your pardon?’

Katie licked her lips and glanced at the waiter as he passed. Once he was out of earshot, she repeated her earlier statement. ‘I said… I’ve met someone else.’

Emily realised tea was spilling from the cup, now dangling, forgotten. She put it down quickly, her wrist wet. She still couldn’t understand those four words any better on the repeat. ‘No. You’ve lost me. Who’ve you met?’ she said, dabbing at her wrist with a napkin.

Katie pressed a hand to her temple, rubbing at it like she had a headache. ‘I’m saying, I’ve met somebody else. Like, someone else. You know what that means. Everyone knows what that means.’

Emily supposed she understood what was commonly meant by the phrase. If she’d been watching this happen on TV, she’d have grasped the situation perfectly. But the words were being spoken by the person she’d been engaged to for two years, together for three and a half. They weren’t supposed to be ‘Meeting’ other people. Emily was meant to be the last person Katie would ever ‘Meet.’

‘Is this a joke?’ Emily asked, grasping at straws. If it was, it was not even slightly funny. But better a bad joke than the alternative.

‘No, Em. Sorry.’ Katie took a deep breath. ‘So the thing is, I’m going to move out tomorrow.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous’ Emily said with a light chuckle. ‘We’ve got a Tesco delivery booked for tomorrow. Between eleven and three.’

Katie shook her head at the table and then looked back up, her face devoid of warmth. Only a determination to get through this conversation. Emily knew then it was true. She was being left.

‘Emily. Please hear me. This is happening. I’ll cancel the delivery’ Katie said roughly.

‘I’m just saying, why would you sit with me and decide on a bunch of meals and put all the stuff into the basket and put the payment through if you weren’t going to be here to eat any of it?’ Emily knew it was a bit silly to get into these details when your life had just fallen apart but it was all she had left. So it mattered.

‘Emily-’

‘Seriously. We did this two days ago. Two days. So when have you met someone? Yesterday?’

‘Six months ago’ Katie said quietly.

Emily exploded with laughter. ‘Six months! Six months. Six months’ she said, trying out the various intonations. ‘You met someone six months ago. So then what happened? After this meeting?’

Katie coughed into her hand. ‘I don’t see any point going into detail.’

Emily’s eyes narrowed. ‘You’re saying you’ve been…’

‘Yes’ Katie said, looking at the table.

A waiter showed up. ‘Can I get you guys anything? Got some great brownies in today.’

Emily was still swirling through a torrent of emotions, but she turned with astonishing politeness and said, ‘Actually, do you think we could just have five minutes?

The waiter gave a nod and vanished, bless his discretion. Emily turned to her beloved and said, ‘Why?’

‘Why what?’

‘There’s a million whys’ Emily said with an angry shrug. ‘Pick one and answer it.’

Katie sighed. ‘I haven’t been happy for a while.’

‘Right. But rather than talk about it, you just started looking for someone else’ Emily said, folding her arms across her chest.

‘It wasn’t like that. I didn’t look. As such.’

‘No? So how did you meet this someone?’

Katie hesitated. ‘Work.’

Emily’s nostrils flared. ‘It’s Alison, isn’t it?’

Katie didn’t answer.

‘What was it you said to me a few months ago when I said you were hanging with her out a lot? Ah yes, that was it. ‘She’s just a friend.’ Emily arched an eyebrow while she considered the last six months, now through a very different lens. ‘You know what’s funny? I didn’t even actually think you were cheating. I just thought maybe you fancied her. I got jealous, yes. But I never really thought you’d do this to me. For six months’ Emily said in a flat tone. It was curious to her how removed she was beginning to feel from this. She supposed that was shock. She should have been screaming, crying, something. Instead, she was going at this like she was finding out her favourite chocolate bar was being taken off the shelves. Peeved, but not a lot more.

And she wasn’t the only one that had noticed. ‘I’ve got to say, you’re being very calm about this’ Katie said.

‘Yes, I know. I presume that’s why you decided to tell me this in public? Why you just dropped in at the place I come to every Friday for lunch, no notice. I can’t believe I was pleased to see you. I thought it was a sweet gesture. Can you imagine?’ she said, amused. ‘You were just trying to avoid ugliness. Because you know I’m not one for public scenes, don’t you?’

‘No one likes ugliness, do they?’ Katie said defensively.

‘No, I suppose not. But I rather think you owed me a scene, don’t you? Just as some sort of penance. Since you’re destroying my life and everything.’

‘I’m not destroying your life’ Katie wheedled. ‘Or not forever. This must hurt but it’s only temp-’

‘Stop talking now, Katie’ Emily said firmly. She never talked to Katie like this, giving her short shrift. She was usually the one asking for kindness, compassion. This was almost fun. Almost. ‘I don’t need you to tell me that what you’re doing isn’t all that bad. It’s bad. It’s really bad’ Emily said quietly with a flash of her eyes.

‘Then why aren’t you more upset?’ Katie asked.

‘I don’t know. I’m sure I will be at some point’ Emily said, and she waved the waiter over. ‘I’ll have that brownie you were talking about. And some tea. Thanks.’

‘And for you?’ the guys said, turning to Katie.

Katie shook her head. ‘Oh, I’m not staying. Thanks.’

‘Places to be?’ Emily asked. She realised something. ‘She’s waiting for you, isn’t she?’

Katie had the good grace to blush.

‘Is she nearby?’

‘Parked around the corner’ Katie admitted.

‘Perhaps I’ll have a word with her’ Emily said, almost to herself. ‘There might be some admin to do in the handover. She won’t know about your allergy to soy or that you take two sugars in your tea or that you like to be taken from behind with a strap-on. Oh, wait, she’d know that last one, wouldn’t she?’

Katie was bright red now. ‘Emily, please don’t make this any harder.’

‘That’s not what you said when I had the strap-on.’

‘Oh Jesus’ Katie moaned.

‘Let me just ask you something before you go. Was it me?’

‘Emily-’

‘No, I don’t mean that in a self-deprecating way. I mean, what was it that made you unhappy? Call it academic interest.’

Katie looked like she wasn’t at all sure about going down this path but spoke anyway. ‘It was the routine.’

‘Routine.’

‘Yes. You like everything to run on time. Everything has to be clean, organised. I had to be clean and organised. And I’m not. I need to be able to make a mess. There was never room for that. Never room for spontaneity.’

Katie’s words stabbed Emily in the heart like a scalpel, precise and sharp. She knew there was truth in them. She liked order. But she’d somehow come to believe that Katie liked that about her. That she liked Emily tidying up after her, making appointments for her, arranging social occasions, steering her life. Because she’d never said otherwise. She’d just reaped the benefits. Until now. One minute she was saying, ‘Thanks for washing my gym gear. I thought I was gonna have to go in smelly stuff!’ Or, ‘When is my dentist’s appointment again?’ Or, ‘Did you text my sister about Sunday?’ And now she was saying, ‘I need to make a mess’ and ‘There was never room for spontaneity.’

‘Well, you’ve certainly achieved those goals today’ Emily said eventually. ‘Are you going to move in with her?’

‘Yeah’ Katie said, a little less rueful now she’d confessed all the big stuff.

‘Tomorrow. You’re gonna come over to our, sorry, my place, get your stuff and take it straight to hers? That the plan?’ Emily asked with casual interest.

‘No. I’m sending a guy with a van’ Katie told her. ‘Actually, I was hoping you might put a few things in bags for me?’

Emily gave a snort. ‘So now you want me to pack for you?’

‘Just my clothes. You’re better at that stuff than me anyway.’

‘Thanks. That means a lot’ Emily told her dryly.

‘Look, I thought it would be a cleaner break if I didn’t come ‘round myself. The guy can find my vinyl and stuff. I’ll let him know where it is. You can keep the things we bought together.’

‘What the whole shoe rack?’ Emily asked. She’d bought everything else with her when they’d moved in. Every sofa, every lamp, every cushion, every spoon. Katie had practically walked in with the clothes on her back. ‘The things you own, end up owning you’ she’d said at the time. Emily had pretended not to know it was a Fight Club quote.

‘I’ll give him the keys’ Katie continued, putting her coat on. ‘He can leave them behind when he goes.’

‘Right. Seems you’ve thought of everything. Did you think of how I’m going to cover your half of the rent?’

‘Of course I did, I’m not a monster. I’m sure it won’t be hard to get a flatmate. But you’re payed up ‘til the end of the month, anyway. You’ll have a few weeks to figure that out.’

‘Yes. What fun. Living with a stranger. Can’t say I ever thought I’d be doing that again.’

Katie pressed her lips into a thin smile. ‘I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I think this is better for both of us.’

‘Nope’ Emily answered plainly. ‘Just for you.’

Katie took out her purse and put a fiver on the table. ‘For your brownie.’

‘So generous. Alison really is getting a prize’ Emily said darkly.

Katie stood and looked down at Emily. Then she gave a small nod and she was gone.

The brownie arrived with a pot of tea and Emily calmly poured herself a cup and bit into the brownie. The waiter was right. It was nice. It was a shame that the taste of brownie would now forever be linked to cowardice, betrayal and a shattered life.

After it was finished, she left, got in her car and drove home. She rang her brother on the way home.

‘Phil, I need the afternoon off’ she told him. They both worked in the family bookshop. Their parents had retired a few years ago, leaving the place to their kids. But Phil, as the older Bartlett sibling, had been appointed manager.

‘What, why?’

‘I’ll explain later.’

‘But I’ve got all those bloody boxes to go through this afternoon. What’s the emergency?’

‘I…’ Emily nearly told him the truth but was suddenly overcome with embarrassment. ‘I broke a tooth on a muffin.’

‘What the hell was in the muffin? Gravel?’ Phil asked.

‘So can I see you Monday?’ Emily asked.

‘Fine. But you’re opening up’ he warned and hung up.

Back at the flat, Emily walked in and looked at the place as though it were new. Hers and Katie’s place, small but cosy. Lived in together, loved in together. But there would be no more love in this place now.

Emily went to the bedroom and into the wardrobe, getting a suitcase out of the bottom and throwing it open on the bed. She looked at Katie’s side of the wardrobe. It was all hoodies and jeans. Emily’s side was full of more preppy stuff. Trousers, shirts, jumpers. She’d have more room for her things now.

Emily pulled out one of Katie’s hoodies and went to put it into the case. But as she got close, her hand seemed to jump of its own accord and the hoodie landed on the floor. Emily looked down at it and thought, ‘Close enough.’ She pulled out the rest of Katie’s things and they soon joined the hoodie in a large pile. This man with a van would have a bigger job than he realised.

Emily looked at her own side of the wardrobe, now so lonely. She sighed and turned to the suitcase, meaning to zip it back up and put it away. But she didn’t do that.

What she did instead was turn around and grab ahold of five coat-hangers worth of her own stuff and placed it into the suitcase. Then she grabbed another armful and folded the lot in carefully. After that, she went to her underwear drawer and pulled out handfuls of knickers and bras. In the corner of the now half empty drawer was her passport. She took that out and put it into her pocket.

She zipped up the case and heaved it off the bed, carrying it down the hall. She left it at the door. Then she went back into the flat and began to turn off all the plugs, check the cooker hobs were off. She collected a few paperbacks from the shelf in the living room, without looking to see what they were. Once that was all done, she took a piece of paper from the pad stuck to the fridge. She jotted a quick note.

Once that was done, she ordered an uber. It was due in three minutes.

She went back down the hall, grabbed the case and unlocked the door, locking it behind her. She glanced at the note before she poked it into the post-box, half hanging out. She hoped the van man would pass it on to its intended recipient. It read;

Katie. I’m going away. Spontaneously. Your shit’s on the floor. I’m done looking after you.

And she went downstairs to wait for the car. It arrived quickly, and Emily put her bag in the boot and got in. ‘Where we going then? Heathrow airport is it?’ the bearded guy asked her. ‘That’s gonna cost about a hundred and twenty’ he told her.

‘That’s fine’ Emily said. A taxi all the way from her home in Oxford to Heathrow was not the usual. Any normal day, she’d have taken a train. But this was no normal day.

‘Going anywhere nice?’ the man asked as he pulled off.

‘Absolutely no idea’ Emily told him.

***

At the airport, Emily took a fifty pence coin and readied it in her fingers. She narrowed her choice to two continents, America and Australia, places she’d always wanted to visit. But Katie was permanently broke, which had prevented extravagant holidays. Well, that had just stopped being an issue. The coin was flipped and came down heads, USA. Another coin toss took her to the left side of the country rather than the right. The choice then became two locations that were on the departure board, leaving within the hour. Las Vegas or San Francisco. She got Vegas. She wasn’t at all sure that was somewhere she wanted to go but that was the point of this. She wasn’t overthinking. The coin would do the work.

She went to the desk and bought a return flight to Vegas, coming back in two days. She’d just about make it to open the shop Monday.

She passed through customs with her shoes in her hands and came through the other side, starting to worry if she’d forgotten anything important. But what could be important now? There was no one and nothing to worry about but herself, her passport and a change of knickers. Anything else was surplus to requirements.

In the departure lounge, Emily went on a hotel booking app and selected a room in Vegas, at a casino/hotel called The Onyx. It was apparently right in the centre of the action.

She boarded her plane some time later and it wasn’t until the plane had been disconnected from the big tubing and it was taxiing down the runway that Emily realised what she’d done. She’d been right when she told Katie that she was sure she’d be upset later. She’d thought that would come in the form of tears. But instead, she was on a plane. This was the form her breakdown was taking. A ten-hour flight to the other side of the world.

As the plane’s wheels lifted from the tarmac and took off into the sky, Emily Bartlett thought, ‘What the fuck am I doing?’

Two

On the other side of the world - not in Vegas but close - an American, Ruby Knight, drummed her fingers against the plush leather chair in her manager’s (and secondarily, her mother’s) office. She was bearing down through yet another lecture. Ruby knew the worst thing she could do in this situation was make a smart remark. It would only draw it all out. If she could shut her mouth, this might be over in anything from three to ten minutes, conservatively.

‘I don’t understand it, Ruby. I really don’t. Do you know what it took to get you a ticket to that premiere? All you had to do was walk up a stretch of carpet, flash your teeth and walk in. It was an easy gig. You didn’t even have to watch the movie. Why did you feel it necessary to talk to that awful man? I know you’re not stupid. I didn’t raise you to be stupid’ Denise growled.

‘Nope. You raised me to make you money’ Ruby said. Goddamn, why could she never resist? Why couldn’t she at least fake being a good little girl? She was a professional actress after all. So why couldn’t she put on a show for ten minutes with her mother?

‘Oh, you wanna get into that?’ her mother asked. ‘Because this was your dream, not mine. You think I want to be dealing with these sharks? You needed someone to protect your interests. A stranger wouldn’t do that.’

‘Yeah, it was totally my dream not to eat all day so I could get into couture and stand around like a mannequin.’

‘Such a rebel!’ her mother cried. ‘Well, you know what? That’s part of the game. You wanna make the jump to the next level? That means showing up and shutting your mouth. Not getting into public arguments with some lowlife tabloid man.’

‘He was asking for it’ Ruby said, though she knew there was no point.

‘I don’t give a shit. He’s got a video of you telling him to go fuck himself. It’s on YouTube. People are watching it. That’s exactly the kind of shit we don’t need right now. You’re a TV actress, on a nothing show, on a nothing network, who wants to do movies. Do you have any idea how many girls just like you there are?’

‘How many?’ Ruby asked with no interest in the answer.

‘Thousands. Tens of thousands maybe. Jesus, the amount of shows there are now, I could be underselling it.’

‘Sorry I’m so basic, Mom’ Ruby smiled.

‘You don’t listen, do you? I can get you there. But you have to do what I say, or all this? It goes away very quickly.’

‘So next time some sleazebag photographer asks me to flash my tits, you’re saying, what? I should just go ahead and whip ‘em out?’

Denise took a deep breath. ‘Ruby, for Christ’s sakes-’

‘Denise, I’ve got Barry on the line for you’ said the intercom on Denise’s desk.

Denise froze and looked at her daughter. ‘OK, I’ve got some damage limitation to do. Get out.’

‘Sure. Just my career you’re discussing’ Ruby said, getting out of her chair and slipping out of the room to hear the start of the conversation. ‘Barry!’ her mother said in a sweetened tone that made Ruby sick to hear. ‘Did you get the gift basket?’

Ruby headed out into the lobby, past her mother’s ass-kissing intern Chad and into the lifts of the office building where her mother had a tiny square. She was alone. Once the doors slid shut, Ruby put her handbag to her mouth and screamed into it. She’d been doing this, or some form of it, since she was old enough to understand that her mother viewed her as a meal ticket. She’d started out screaming into sofa cushions. She supposed a Louis Vuitton was an upgrade.

Once she’d finished letting off steam, her mind went to what Barry Curtis was telling her mother. Maybe she was already out. From rumour, she understood that there were bigger actresses than her up for the role. But her mother said that was their secret weapon. Ruby would be a lot cheaper than the others. The studio just had to believe she could carry a big budget franchise flick. Since they were taking a chance on this book adaptation anyway, it was prudent not to spend too much on the first movie. Not before they knew for sure it was a franchise with legs. So it was up to Ruby’s mother to sell her as the underdog, the rising star. Not to mention, a bargain.

That was a problem. Because some people thought that Ruby wasn’t the most reliable person. She had something of a reputation in LA. She wasn’t exactly wild, nor did she have rehab on speed dial. But she tended to clash with assholes who thought it was alright to walk up to her and take her picture without asking. So yes, hot-head was a phrase that swirled around Ruby. According to her mother, this was making negotiations around her big breakout movie harder. ‘No one wants to work with a flake who can’t control their temper’ she said.

Ruby didn’t think that word was fair. She was always on time for work, and when she was there, she worked hard. She didn’t have dumb arguments with crew, none of that shit that made someone truly difficult to work with. But this was LA, home of heroes and villains. You were either a perfectly behaved good girl or you were just another difficult actress whose demands outweighed their talent.

Currently, she was a twenty-seven-year-old playing eighteen on a teen drama, Wolfwater Cove. It wasn’t good. Three years on that show felt like a decade. She wished she could be doing something better, something that stretched her. But her mother assured her that better didn’t pay. What paid was mass appeal. Blockbusters. Movies like Time Guardians. Ruby hadn’t seen a script, but she thought it sounded pretty fucking stupid.

Then again, who did stupid better than she?

Downstairs, Ruby got in her car and drove out onto the I-5. She kept thinking about all the expectation her mother was laying on her. If she got this job, she knew all that would only get worse. More people, investors, the studio head, all standing on her back.

Ruby drove through Burbank, intending to go home and get in a hot bath with a large drink. But for some reason, when she came to a junction that indicated Vegas on the next off-ramp, she got on it.

Why did she do it? Why did she take a different road? Hard to say. Because Ruby kind of hated Vegas. It was cheesy. But it was also close-ish - a four-hour drive - and it wasn’t Los Angeles. She could get a hotel room, turn off her phone, play some slots, get a little drunk, maybe break her diet for once. Unplug for twenty-four hours. Christ, why shouldn’t she? She worked hard making a bad show slightly less bad. And her weekend off had so far been spent getting screamed at. She deserved fun.

As though sensing that Ruby was about to do something nice for herself, Denise called. Ruby bit her lip as she looked at her mother’s name on the car’s Bluetooth display. She was probably going to harangue her some more, tell her how hard she made her job by not being perfect, how she’d had to stick her tongue right up Barry Curtis’s butthole to keep her in the running.

Ruby cancelled the call. She knew there would be a price to pay for that later. But not today. Today, she was going to the capital of all that was sinful and wrong.

Three

Emily was sitting in a casino, at a bar. There were no windows, no clocks. It could have been midnight or noon, she couldn’t have guessed.

According to her watch, it was four in the morning, UK time. If her calculations were correct, that made it about eight in the evening in the current time zone. It was cool in here, which was a mercy. Outside on the pavement, (sidewalk?) it was insanely hot, the kind of heat that made car bonnets perfect to fry eggs on. But the casino was a perfectly balanced temperature. Emily was struck by how everything in this building seemed geared to make you forget about the outside world. Aside from housing a hotel and casino, there was a collection of clothes shops, restaurants, several theatres, even a bank. You could stay in this one building for days, having your every need met.

Emily thought she just might do that. She felt like she was stranded on a neon desert island, adrift from anything even remotely familiar. Inside was crazy but outside was sheer lunacy. Everything so bright, so hot, everything trying to get your attention and your money. Shows, sex workers, it didn’t seem to matter what was being sold. It was all in your face. Emily hated it. In fact, she was hated Vegas in general. It was not a place for her.

But her flight didn’t go for eighteen hours so she would stay here and watch the roulette wheels spin while she tried not to think about the disaster that had befallen her not too many hours ago. Fucking Katie. How could she just turn around after all this time and… No. Emily was not going down that rabbit hole right now. That was the point of this if nothing else. She was far from the real world right now, in some kind of adult playground. And if she was in a fantasy, reality could stay where it was, at home, in her empty flat. She was putting a delay on feeling all of that. She wasn’t Emily Bartlett right now. She was a woman who got on a flight spontaneously to the capital of all that was garish and tasteless. Screw Katie.

‘Can I please have a whiskey, erm, neat?’ she asked the man behind the bar. He poured it and left it on the bar, dashing off to attend someone else who had just sat down at the other end. Emily regarded her drink. She didn’t drink whiskey. She was more of a gin and tonic girl. But if she wasn’t going to be Emily Bartlett for a few days, she had to at least shake up her drink. She took a sip and gagged. Why did people drink this? It was vile.

Emily half heard the woman at the other end order a beer. Damn. That was what she should have ordered. She turned to see the beer orderer and was somewhat taken aback. Though the woman was sat on a barstool, Emily could see she was tall from the way her legs hung. They made up about half of her length. Her honey blonde hair looked coiffed, like someone on TV. Her profile was delicate, with a high nose and not a spare inch of fat on a set of high cheekbones. She had a great mouth, plump, sensual lips. Around the mouth was a line that suggested a sarcastic personality. Emily would have loved a look at her eyes, but she was wearing sunglasses and that was where she lost Emily. What kind of tosspot wore shades indoors, at night?

She turned away from the woman and back to her horrid drink, taking another sip. Yep, the second taste was as bad as the first. But Emily didn’t like waste, so she kept drinking, resentfully.

She chanced another glance at the shades-wearer, hoping she’d taken them off. She hadn’t. She was now looking at her phone while she sipped her beer. The great mouth had slipped somewhat into a grimace. She sighed and turned it off, putting it into her pocket.

As she did so, she happened to glance at Emily and Emily quickly looked away. But it was too late. She’d been caught staring.

‘Jesus’ the woman said. ‘If you want to get a picture, just say so.’

‘What?’ Emily asked.

‘But I don’t do videos. I don’t care who it’s for. I’m not waving and saying hello to your brother Steve from Utah’ she said dryly in an American accent.

‘I don’t have a brother named Steve. His name is Phil and he is most certainly not from Utah. He lives in Oxford’ Emily replied, feeling herself get quite British.

The woman paused. ‘Shit. You don’t actually have any clue who I am, do you?’ The woman whipped off her sunglasses and it had been worth the wait. Emily had always loved green eyes. And this set had a clarity to them, a sparkle that went beyond the colour. It was quite saucy. Shame the bearer was a bit of a dickhead.

‘I thought you were looking at me’ the woman said, starting to look embarrassed.

‘I was’ Emily said. ‘I mean, I wasn’t looking looking. I was just, you know… Looking.’ Emily stopped talking then. That sentence had gotten away from her.

‘Yeah, don’t worry about it. I was being an ass’ the woman said and turned back to her beer.

Emily turned back to her disgusting whisky, wondering what had just happened. Her conclusion was that this had all been a bit too awkward and she should go. She drained her whisky in one last pull - trying not to gag too obviously – put some dollars on the counter for the drink and got up, ready to wander. Maybe she could try blackjack. Of course, first of all, she’d have to learn what the bloody hell blackjack was but…

‘Hey, can I buy you a drink?’ the green-eyed woman asked.

Emily turned in surprise. ‘What? Why?’

‘Why does anyone ever buy another person a drink?’ Green Eyes asked with a raised eyebrow.

‘Because they’re trying to have sex with them’ Emily said automatically. And then she said, ‘Oh. No. I didn’t mean-’

‘Direct. I like it. But let’s start with a drink and see how things go?’ the woman asked with a wolfish grin. Emily was thoroughly flummoxed. Was she being hit on or being made fun of? She honestly didn’t know. It was always like this with the gorgeous ones. All so easy. Because there was nothing at stake for them. If Emily walked off now, Green Eyes could take a peanut from the bowl on the bar, throw it over her shoulder and whoever it hit would be very happy to go to bed with her. Emily had never had it so easy. It had always been hard work talking to women. Even Katie had made it difficult. They’d met through mutual friends and Emily’s crush had been immediate, but it was a full year before Emily had even suspected there was any attraction coming back.

She didn’t know why it was always this way. She didn’t think she was any less appealing than a lot of girls who seemed to do alright in the romance department. She was smart enough, pretty enough, nice enough. She made a reasonable living, she was reliable, she could hold a conversation, she was punctual, mature.  She knew none of that was very wowing but still, it should have been enough to get someone like Katie, who had been something of a work in progress in several departments. But no, nothing was ever easy. It was always an uphill struggle to get someone to really see her.

Sometimes Emily felt the problem was that she cared. If she decided on someone, it mattered. She put all her eggs right in the basket. People seemed quite turned off by that. Emily knew that was because it made her no challenge, which was apparently dull. What you were supposed to do was diversify your affections, be illusive, wanted by all. But that wasn’t Emily. Never had been. She’d made peace with never being some sexy bad girl.

Speaking of which, Green Eyes – who might well have held that mantle, time would tell – was still waiting on her answer. While Emily overthought and pondered and dissected, this person was just saying, ‘Have a drink, let’s see what happens.’

And Emily was a Brit in a foreign land, she reminded herself. She was taking a holiday from herself. Green Eyes had more potential than a brown drink. ‘Alright. I’ll have a gin and tonic.’

‘Weren’t you drinking whisky?’ Green Eyes asked.

‘Yes. It was foul. I can’t for the life of me understand why anyone would drink that for pleasure.’

‘So why did you order it?’ Green Eyes asked, bemused.

‘I’m on holiday. Trying new things’ Emily said, embarrassed.

‘I see’ Green Eyes smiled and turned to the barman, ordering the gin. The drink appeared on a napkin and Emily picked it up. Green Eyes lifted her beer. ‘To new things.’

Emily raised her glass and took a sip. New things indeed.

Four

Ruby hadn’t intended to pick anyone up. She really hadn’t. She didn’t do that very often anyway. She didn’t need to. Women hit on her all the time. Was it because she was famous, even in a small-time sense? She never really knew. That was what had intrigued her about the Brit. She didn’t know who the hell Ruby was. She didn’t know about the show. She didn’t know about the tabloids. She didn’t know her rep, deserved or not. She didn’t know about her mother’s attempts to send her into the stratosphere. It was refreshing. Not only because if this person agreed to have a drink with her, she wasn’t doing it for the story, but because she was far removed from Ruby’s world, she could tell. She lacked that polished edge, that veneer of confidence that everyone in LA had, everybody always trying to fit in a town no one came from. It could be an exhausting energy to be around, particularly if you felt a pressure to match it.

But the Brit, she looked so thoroughly out of place in the hotel bar, lost as you please. There was no bravado, it was all right out on the surface as she gagged cutely on that whisky. Oh, yeah, that was the other thing. She was cute as hell. She was a petite, caramel brunette with thick bangs that sat atop eyebrows that were permanently set in a light frown. Underneath that were a set of big brown eyes, a button nose and heart shaped mouth. She was pale, nicely so, with roses in her cheeks. She was dressed all wrong for the thick heat of Vegas, swaddled in a thick dark sweater with a white shirt with black polka dots underneath.

Ruby took all that in and right away, she was into it. Until the stranger started peeking at her. Ruby felt herself bristle. Could she never get away from people saying, ‘Wait, aren’t you…?’ Even incognito in her shades, they still seemed to find her. So despite the pleasure she’d taken in this woman’s outward appearance, she found herself chewing her out. ‘Jesus. If you want to get a picture, just say so.’

‘What?’ the woman said.

‘But I don’t do videos. I don’t care who it’s for. I’m not waving and saying hello to your brother Steve from Utah’ she said sarcastically, intending to get up and leave. Her trip felt spoiled already.

‘I don’t have a brother named Steve. His name is Phil and he is most certainly not from Utah. He lives in Oxford’ the woman said in a crisp British accent. She sounded pissed.

Ruby realised her mistake. This was a British tourist having a drink and she’d just been rude to her for nothing. ‘Shit. You don’t actually have any clue who I am, do you? I thought you were looking at me’ she said, wanting to explain.

‘I was’ the Brit said awkwardly. ‘I mean, I wasn’t looking looking. I was just, you know… Looking.’

Ruby wanted to die. ‘Yeah, don’t worry about it. I was being an ass.’

They turned away from each other for a second, which Ruby spent castigating herself thoroughly. What the hell was wrong with her? Why did she have to keep being such a bitch with everyone? Here was this woman, minding her own business, and Ruby had just given her shit because she’d thought it was the same old thing. People getting in her face and in her space. Ruby was beginning to think she might have chosen the wrong career if she didn’t like people looking at her. And she was currently only C-list. What the hell would it be like if she actually got the big budget movie? What if she went all the way? She didn’t want it and yet she needed it. So she was stuck. Doomed.

Of course, there was no way to explain all this to the Brit. She couldn’t explain that she’d been an asshole because she was too famous yet not famous enough. Even to Ruby, it was pathetic. She was sick of her own story. She wanted someone else’s.

She wanted the Brit’s.

So she offered her a drink, not remotely expecting her to accept. But somehow, the Brit had done. They toasted.

‘What’s your name, anyway?’ Ruby asked.

‘Umm, Emily’ the woman answered quietly.

‘Emily’ Ruby repeated. It was exactly the right name for this person. Ruby couldn’t have picked out a better one for her if she’d had a month to think about it. ‘Well, I’m Ruby’ she added.

‘Ruby, can I ask you a question?’

‘Sure.’

‘What was all that stuff about photos?’

Ruby had hoped to avoid this topic. But it was probably better to bite the bullet. ‘I’m an actress’ she told her, thinking that covered it.

‘Yes?’ Emily replied, unimpressed.

‘So I’m kind of famous’ Ruby went on, hating how that sounded. Braggy.

‘Are you?’ Emily asked. ‘What’s your full name?’

‘Ruby Knight.’

Emily bit her lip and looked nervous. ‘Sorry. I haven’t heard of you.’

Ruby smiled. ‘Great.’

‘Is it?’

‘Yep.’

‘So what would I find if I Googled you?’ Emily asked. ‘What are you famous for?’

‘Nothing I’m proud of’ Ruby said casually.

‘Oh dear’ Emily said, frowning. Ruby wasn’t happy about that frown. She’d meant her comment to be breezy. She’d wanted to sound effortless and sophisticated and world-weary. She’d wanted to sound bored with her own success. That was how people in LA talked in private. They mocked the terrible Hollywood machine, grinding out shit that the masses ate up with a spoon. They laughed about how they took the money and ran. It had become quite normal to casually put the whole thing down, like you were so talented that success had been thrust upon you, and that you had no choice but to take it, laughing as you threw a fraction of your capabilities into your work, phoning it in and succeeding in a job that was beneath you and scrabbled for by so many. How Ruby actually felt about it all was somewhat more complex, but this was how she’d learned to relate to other people in her industry.

But Emily wasn’t from the machine. This bullshit wasn’t going to cut it with her, and now Ruby knew that. ‘I mean, I’m on a show about teenagers and it’s not all that good.’

‘What’s not good about it?’

‘It’s a copy of a thousand other shows. There’s nothing original about it at all.’

‘If you don’t think it’s good, why did you take the job?’ Emily questioned. Funnily enough, no one had ever asked that question before. Ruby wasn’t sure she’d ever asked herself that question. Not really. But that didn’t mean she didn’t have an answer, supplied by her mother many times over. ‘That’s what actors do. They take the job, whatever it is. Better to work on something shitty than wait for something good and be unemployed.’

Emily took a sip of her drink thoughtfully.

‘So anyway, what about you? What’s your story?’ Ruby asked, desperate to move away from this topic.

‘Oh, me? I work in a bookshop’ Emily said. ‘Not quite as glamorous.’

Ruby didn’t agree with that. From where she stood, a bookshop was the height of exoticness. It carried a weight behind it, the implication of serious, high-minded intellectualism. Something Hollywood was in short supply of. But Ruby wasn’t about to admit she was impressed. ‘A book store? They still have those?’ she asked with a grin.

Ruby was relieved to see Emily laugh. ‘You can still find them sometimes, yes. If you look under the right rock.’

‘How long have you worked there?’

‘Since I was old enough to reach the shelves. Family business.’

‘Wow. You ever want to do anything different?’

‘Not really. Happy there.’

‘Good for you’ Ruby said sincerely. The thought of being content to be where you were was astonishing to Ruby. Ever since she could remember, she was trying to move forward, up. A better role, a better agent, a better fee, a better life. It was always just around the corner and yet somehow, she never seemed to arrive.

‘So, umm…’ Emily began, suddenly seeming nervous. Ruby awaited the question with some anxiety. She felt out of her depth with Emily. But when the question came, Ruby didn’t mind it. ‘Are you single?’

Ruby was indeed single, mostly always. She didn’t mean to tear through women, she didn’t consider herself a Casanova. It was just that everyone she met ended up boring her. Actresses, models, producers, directors, screenwriters. They’d be strange and new and exciting at first. But soon enough, she’d realise they had nothing new to tell her about the world because at heart, they were just like her. ‘Yes, I’m single. Any reason you’d need to know that.’

Emily’s eyes went wide with horror. ‘Oh, no, I’m not being presumptuous or anything. I just wanted to check.’

‘Hey, ask anything you want’ Ruby said. She meant it. This stranger had quality to her that made Ruby want to be an open book. She wanted Emily to thumb her pages, run a finger down her spine, maybe bookmark a few pages that were of particular interest. She just hoped she’d be the kind of book Emily might want to read to the end, that she wouldn’t become bored before the first chapter was even done.

‘OK’ Emily said seriously. ‘Why are you talking to me right now?’

‘Huh?’ Ruby asked, thrown.

‘I mean, you came in here, sat down and saw me, had a go at me and then asked me to have a drink with you. Why?’

When Ruby had told Emily to ask her anything, she thought she might ask about siblings, hopes and dreams, other assorted getting-to-know-you bullshit. But she was getting down to brass tacks, it seemed. Ruby kind of liked it. Still, she didn’t want to seem like some horn dog who was trying to get into Emily’s pants (though that was at the back of her mind), so she tried to spin her answer to a less salacious version. ‘I thought you looked interesting.’

‘Interesting? What does that mean?’

‘I guess I looked at you and I thought you looked like a person I’d want to talk to.’

‘Oh’ Emily said. She looked disappointed in the answer.

‘Is there something wrong with that?’

Emily shrugged. ‘No. Of course not.’

Ruby had stumbled here somewhere. But what had tripped her up?

Five

The nature of Ruby’s misstep was quite simple. Emily was chatting to quite possibly one of the most gorgeous women that had ever spoken to her and she was quickly intrigued, not just with her looks, but with her general way. Emily had an idea that despite the fact that Ruby feigned boredom with the world, there was a lot more underneath. She wanted to know what it was. And not platonically. She was hoping for something else. She’d begun to believe that just this once, it was going to be easy. She was going to be seduced by a sexy stranger in a strange land. It all seemed possible.

But then she had to go and blow up her dreams by asking questions, didn’t she? She had to fish. She couldn’t have just enjoyed the fantasy, stretching it out ‘til the last possible moment. She had to bring up the deadline on shattered dreams. Ruby was looking for a drinking buddy and nothing else. She was wasting time with Emily before she ran off to find something - or someone - else to do.

Once Emily realised that, she didn’t really know what to do with herself. She should have been used to disappointment by now. After all, only yesterday she’d been disappointed in a much larger manner by a person who’d made real promises. Promises that were supposed to last a lifetime. And here Emily had known Ruby a few minutes. But she was still gutted to get the rejection. Perhaps it was just that it was the latest in a long line of dissatisfactions. Was this just life? Anything you wanted would dance at the reach of your fingertips, only to disappear when you tried to touch it? Staring down into her gin, Emily felt herself slipping down into a wretched ennui.

‘Hey, did I say something wrong?’ Ruby asked.

Emily was surprised out of her reverie. ‘No, of course not.’

‘Really? Because from a professional actress to an amateur, your poker face could do with some work.’

Emily blinked. This was surprising news. Katie had never seemed to notice when she was down. She had assumed that was because she was pushing it down. Until Ruby saw through it in ten seconds flat. ‘Fine. I suppose I… This is actually quite embarrassing, but I was hoping… I thought maybe… We… You and I, that is, might…’

Ruby watched her stutter for a moment and then put down her beer, leaning over and putting a finger underneath Emily’s chin, gently tilting her head and drawing in to kiss her. It was a soft and brief brush of the lips, but Emily’s eyes automatically slipped shut for the duration. When she opened them a moment later, Ruby leant back to look at her, a playful smile on those delicious lips. ‘You were hoping for something like that?’

Emily looked down and grinned. ‘I suppose so, yes.’

‘Good. Me too. So we can stop worrying about it now?’

Emily managed to drag her eyes up to meet Ruby’s and she stared into those green pools for a second, hypnotised. And everything was possible again. As simple as that.

‘Do you know how to play blackjack?’ she asked Ruby.

Ruby raised an eyebrow. ‘What?’

‘I mean, I’ve never done it before but I’m here in a casino and I was thinking I might like to learn.’

Ruby paused. ‘I really can’t figure out what you’re going to say next, you know that?’

‘Are you saying I’m unpredictable?’ Emily asked.

‘Very’ Ruby said.

Emily grinned from ear to ear and stood, grabbing Ruby by the hand. ‘Come on.’

Ruby let herself be dragged. They went over to a booth where they exchanged cash for chips and then they wandered.

They landed at a blackjack table where a waist-coated croupier dealt them in. Emily picked up her cards. An ace and a jack. She showed her cards to Ruby. ‘Is this a good hand? I don’t have a clue.’

Ruby did a double take and then leaned in to Emily. ‘Say stand and bet everything.’

‘You’re sure?’

Ruby nodded and Emily took it on faith that Ruby knew what she was on about. She put her cards down, looked at her chips - two hundred pounds worth, which was all the spending money she had for the next two days – and said ‘Stand.’

‘Place your bets.’

Emily pushed her pile across the table with some anxiety.

The croupier turned his own cards to find he had a ten and a king. He said, ‘Dealer stands.’

He reached over and flipped Emily’s cards. ‘We have a blackjack’ he said neutrally and raked back Emily’s chip pile, now doubled.

For a second, Emily didn’t realise she’d won, it had all happened so fast. When it hit her, she cried, ‘Shit! I won!’

Ruby laughed beside her. ‘You wanna go again?’

‘No chance!’ She grabbed her pile of chips and turned from the table. ‘Come on, I’m cashing up.’

‘That’s it? You’re done with gambling already?’ Ruby asked, astonished.

‘If I go again, I’ll lose it.’

‘Not an optimist, are you?’ Ruby asked.

‘I’m trying not to ruin my winner’s high. I mean, what are the odds that would happen again? I don’t actually even know why I won. The man gave me two cards, you said bet high and then it was over.’

‘Did you want me to explain the game?’ Ruby asked.

‘Actually, no. I like it better this way. Has more mystery.’

‘So what now?’ Ruby asked.

‘You tell me? It’s your turn.’

‘My turn?’ Ruby asked with a raised eyebrow.

‘Yeah. If we’re… I mean if we’re hanging out’ Emily said, suddenly realising she was being rather presumptuous. ‘I mean, unless you had other plans?’

Ruby smiled with one side of her mouth. ‘I do now.’

Emily smiled back in relief. ‘Alright. So what now?’

‘I’m hungry. How about you?’

‘I could eat.’

‘Then that’s first. We eat. Something fried.’

‘And then?’

Ruby shrugged. She looked in no hurry to decide anything. ‘I guess we’ll see.’

Six

After food that was indeed very fried, Ruby and Emily decided to leave the hotel to see what else was on the strip. They’d found themselves in front of a ‘Gentlemen’s club’ and in a move that shocked Ruby, Emily had suggested going in.

Ruby had been to a strip club once or twice before, they weren’t really her thing. But Emily seemed keen to do it, explaining she’d never dared before. Ruby had an idea that Emily was going through some mysterious thing in her life, that she was looking to break her cherry on a few experiences, break out of her shell. So she agreed with enthusiasm.

In the club, they watched the ladies dance for a while. They slipped a few dollars into some G-strings, just to get the authentic experience. But soon enough, Ruby was bored.

‘You enjoying this?’ she asked Emily.

Emily turned to her. ‘It’s alright. But honestly, I think I’d rather talk to you.’

Ruby smiled slowly and then gestured to a waitress. ‘Can we get a private room?’

‘You want a dance?’ the waitress asked.

‘No, just the room.’

The waitress looked from Ruby to Emily. ‘It’s not cheap. If you want some privacy, you’re better off getting a hotel room.’

‘Just give us the room’ Ruby said, pulling out her credit card.

‘Alright. You want drinks?’

‘Yeah. Champagne’ she said and turned to Emily. ‘That cool?’

Emily gave the dorkiest thumbs up and Ruby couldn’t wait to get her alone.

In the small room - red velour and dim lighting - they talked, they drank. Ruby found herself talking about the thing with the movie, her mother’s plans for world domination. Emily was interested. But Ruby didn’t want to get too deep into all that. She was having fun for a change; her life would only ruin it. So she turned it around, asking Emily something she’d been curious about since they met. ‘So what are you doing in Vegas by yourself?’

‘Just, you know, taking a break’ Emily said, quickly sipping her champagne.

Ruby smelled something juicy right away. ‘Really. Vegas your go to, is it?’

‘Since you had to hold my hand through blackjack, I’m sure you know it’s not’ Emily said, a touch defensively.

‘I thought we were talking’ Ruby said, hands in the air in surrender.

Emily was contrite. ‘Sorry. I suppose I was hoping to avoid telling you why I’m here.’

‘Then I won’t push’ Ruby said quickly. ‘Hey, we’re running a bit low on fizz, shall we get another bo-’

‘My fiancée left me’ Emily said quietly. But Ruby heard her.

‘Christ. When?’ Ruby asked.

Emily checked her watch. ‘Hard to say with the time difference but I think it was about fourteen hours ago.’

Ruby’s mouth fell open. ‘So you got on a flight right after?’

‘Yes.’

‘That’s quite a reaction.’

‘I know’ Emily said. ‘I think it was because of the way she broke up with me. She left me for someone else because she said I wasn’t spontaneous. So I suppose I was trying to prove her wrong.’

‘I think you managed that’ Ruby said. ‘So she cheated on you?’

‘For six months. And I didn’t have a clue’ Emily said, tipping back her glass to drain it in one gulp.

‘How long were you together?’

‘Three and a half years - engaged for two’ Emily told her.

‘Who proposed?’ Ruby asked.

‘She did.’

‘Oh. That’s bad’ Ruby said.

‘Yes. Bad. Quite.’

Ruby was floored. She’d never gone through anything like that. She was never serious enough with anyone to get even close to an engagement so when things ended, whether by her choice or the other party’s, it was never a real catastrophe. It was usually a relief.

But Emily had actually lost something real. Ruby suddenly wondered what Emily wanted from this night. What purpose was she serving to Emily? A rebound? Maybe. Would that be so bad? Maybe not.

Because where did attachments get you? Flying across the world to sit in a stripper’s booth with some random actress, if Emily was anything to go by. She’d hate to be that tied up with someone, that vulnerable to ruin. It was bad enough being under her mother’s thumb. To give herself willingly to someone? It was a terrifying concept.

So whatever this evening was, it was just for tonight. Ruby wouldn’t know what to do with anything bigger.

The waitress popped her head in. ‘Hey, if you want to stay in here, you need to keep ordering drinks.’

‘Jesus, you people are relentless’ Ruby replied and said, ‘Yeah, fine, bring more champagne.’

‘How about vodka instead?’ the waitress asked.

‘And the upselling continues. How much for a bottle?’ Ruby asked.

The waitress’s reply stole Emily’s breath. But Ruby didn’t care. She had money. What else was there to spend it on but fun? That was the whole point of being carefree and single. Your money was yours to waste on overpriced liquor if you so pleased. ‘Relax, it’s on me’ she told Emily, before turning to the waitress and smiling, ‘Go ahead and bring the bottle.’

After the waitress ducked back out of the room, Emily was wide-eyed with panic. ‘You cannot buy that bottle. That’s insane.’

‘Don’t worry about it. We’re having a good time, aren’t we?’

‘Yes’ Emily quickly agreed.

‘Then let’s keep it going. With stupidly priced vodka.’

Emily breathed in through her nose. ‘Alright. If you insist.’

The vodka showed up a minute later and the waitress poured two shots and left. Ruby picked up a glass and said, ‘To your ex. May she be cursed with a terrible STI that gives her a hellish itch she will never be free of.’

Emily laughed and picked up her own glass. ‘I’ll drink to that!’

They threw them back and Emily made a little ‘Wuh’ noise. Ruby loved it. ‘Another?’

‘You trying to get me drunk?’ Emily asked.

‘Would that be a problem?’ Ruby countered.

‘Nope. Just wanted to know.’

‘Well, I am. And when you’re good and liquored up, I’m gonna make my move.’

Emily’s mouth went up at both corners. ‘You already did.’

‘Oh, that was not my move. That was more like a trailer for my move’ Ruby told her.

Emily picked up the glass and necked it. ‘Then I’d better hurry up and get hammered.’

Ruby felt a deep pleasure. They were on the same page. Mindless fun was the order of the night. And the promise of nudity lay at the end of it. She picked up her own glass and necked it. This was exactly what Ruby needed. She felt far from home, far from Hollywood, far from her mother.

***

Ruby sat bolt upright and the pain in her head was immediate. She needed Tylenol, stat. But as she looked around her, she realised her medicine cabinet wasn’t going to be easy to locate. Because she wasn’t in her apartment. She was in a hotel room. In Vegas. And there was someone asleep next to her.

Emily.

The name came quickly, she wasn’t some stranger met after too many drinks. They’d spent an evening together, mostly sober. It was only after the club that things got a little burry. A haze of vodka was draped over the remainder of the night.

Ruby climbed out of bed and looked down at Emily. She looked pretty nice asleep. And Ruby had liked their time together. But this couldn’t go anywhere, could it? They lived on different continents, and moreover, in different worlds. Emily was a serious person who cared about shit. That wasn’t Ruby. She was no novel, after all. She was an actress who would be lucky to do brainless blockbusters. She was popcorn. Eaten and forgotten.

Ruby got dressed, careful to be quiet. She knew it wasn’t very nice to leave like this, but she felt that anything she could say would only ruin things. One night. One good night. Leave it at that.

She leaned down and kissed Emily gently on the hair. Emily didn’t stir. Ruby crept out. She didn’t see the piece of paper on top of the hotel fridge, she was in too big of a hurry. If she had, she would have been quite surprised to find it was a document that had her name on it as well as Emily’s.

It was a marriage certificate.

Seven

Emily, deep in dreamland, thought she heard a click, like a door closing. She dragged herself up from sleep, into the waking world. She was alone. She was disappointed about that without understanding why for a moment. But then she remembered what had happened with Katie and she thought that was it. She was heartbroken.

No, wait, there was something else, some other reason she shouldn’t have been alone. There was… Ruby. She’d met Ruby and they’d gone crazy together. Blackjack, strip club, vodka… That’s where it got a bit stickier. What had happened then? Had they come back here? Had anything happened in the naked sense? Emily wasn’t at all sure. Slowly, it dribbled back. Yes, Ruby had been here. In the bed. They’d talked, Emily thought, for a long time. Maybe some other things. Her lips felt rather… Used. But she still had her underwear on. Nothing was certain.

But Ruby wasn’t here now so she’d definitely ditched her, she was surer and surer. It was a hurtful realisation. She’d thought they’d clicked. She’d thought Ruby liked her as much as she liked Ruby. But apparently not. Ruby had gotten bored and not even stopped to say bye. Another rejection, another kick in the teeth.

Emily sat up and went to the mini fridge. She needed fluids immediately. She took out a bottle of water that cost five dollars and drank it down.

And then she saw it, sat atop the fridge. The certificate. Emily’s eyes were barely in focus as she lifted the embossed sheet up to her eyes to read her name sat next to Ruby’s.

Emily frowned at the paper, in denial at first. This couldn’t be… Oh. No. Wait. There it was, in the back of her memories. A flash of a chapel. Her and Ruby staggering in giggling. The words, ‘I do.’ Said and repeated. Emily’s mind unwrapped the horror for her in full and said, Yes. You did this.

Emily still didn’t want to believe it, despite the memories that were creeping back. Despite the fact it was here in black and white. It was ludicrous. Emily had certainly taken herself off some kind of leash last night, but with the intent that the craziest thing she might do was have sex with Ruby. But she’d taken it quite a bit further than casual sex.

It was madness. Three years of engagement to Katie and they’d never even set a date. Was she to understand that she’d come to this absurd place and married someone the same night she had met them?

It was too much for Emily to take. She wanted to throw up. Oh, hang on, yes, she really did need to vomit. She ran to the toilet, slipped to her knees and threw up things she didn’t remember eating, colours she couldn’t begin to explain. When it was over, she took her head from the bowl to see her hand still clutching the marriage certificate. It had a little bit of yellow liquid on it now, splashed across one corner.

She sat down on the floor, looking at the vomit-soaked sheet of paper. She could flush it down the loo right now and that would be that. The offending item would be gone. But Emily knew that what would be left behind was a legal record of a marriage. You couldn’t flush that quite so easily.

What did it mean though? That she was married in the US? Did that matter? She didn’t live here. She didn’t pay taxes here. She didn’t have any reason to declare her marriage to anyone, for any reason.

But in the pit of Emily’s stomach, something told her that she couldn’t simply let this stand. She had to find Ruby and get this sorted. What was the term? Annulled. Yes. Not a divorce, but a simple annulment, on the grounds of a drunken mistake.

So that meant the next step was laid out. She needed to find Ruby. Maybe they’d swapped numbers? Emily checked her phone. No Ruby’s of any sort.

But a phone number wasn’t the only way to find someone. Social media was a thing. Emily wasn’t on anything (she didn’t care if someone she went to school with had a baby or a French bulldog or got married in the Seychelles), but she was aware of the existence of Twitter and Facebook. She opened her phone, deciding to try Twitter first, and tapped in the name RUBY. And then stopped. What was Ruby’s last name? She was sure she’d been told it. But Emily’s brain was not in tip top shape right now, it was still a booze-soaked mess.

Emily realised she didn’t know her wife’s full name. She would have laughed but she thought it might turn into tears.

Then it occurred to her. The certificate! It had the answer. But when Emily checked it, the unfortunate splotch of bile had dribbled over Ruby’s name. She could just make out ‘RUBY ...IGHT.’ Ruby Wright? Was that it? She typed it in and scanned the results. None of the Ruby’s were her Ruby.

Hold it. Ruby was an actress. She had her own show. IMDb would hold the key. If Emily could just remember what the bloody programme was called. It was something with teenagers, she was certain of that. It was patently ludicrous for Ruby to be playing a seventeen-year-old (if Emily remembered anything from last night, it was that Ruby was nothing if not a grown woman) but that was apparently what she did for a living. And the show was called… It was the name of some fake small town on the east coast of America… Wolf something… Wolfwater Cove!

Emily tapped it into IMDb and there she was, top billed. Ruby Knight. Well, close enough. She went back to Twitter. Ruby had an account with a little blue tick next to it. Emily quickly set up her own account (with a generic picture of a sunset as her profile pic) and DM’d Ruby.

Hi. Remember me? If you’re struggling to recall, we accidentally got married last night. Please message me back urgently so we can sort it out. Thanks.

She sat back to wait. All she could do now was hope and pray and try not to vomit again.

Eight

Ruby was on the road, headed home. She was wondering if she’d made a mistake leaving Emily like that. There was something about last night, something about Emily. She had been… What was the word? Invigorating. That was it. Ruby felt revitalised from her time with Emily. But that was exactly why she’d had to leave. Given time, whatever quality Emily had would no doubt pall, like it all did. Everything turned to stale boredom in the end. Her acting career, her love life, all of it.

She’d always suspected that she wasn’t wired for happiness. Her mother certainly didn’t seem to be. And her dad… Well, that was another story. But her mom was always in a bad mood. Even good news didn’t ever really seem to please her. When Ruby had landed the lead on the show, Denise hadn’t taken a moment to celebrate. She’d stated immediately that a big percentage of shows didn’t go past the pilot. Then Denise began to worry that Ruby’s agent would lose valuable time while she was making the pilot (that would definitely not go to series) by slacking off, not working as hard for her. Then she decided that Ruby needed a manager, someone who looked out for her interests, someone with no other clients. And once the show got picked up for a full fifteen episodes, Denise decided that person should be her, that she’d give up her job as an investment banker to work ‘For’ Ruby full time.

Ruby wasn’t at all sure she wanted her mother to do that. In fact, she was sure she was going to ruin her career before it even got off the ground. But lo and behold, Denise Knight was suited to the Hollywood machine, securing a better contract with the show, increasing her fee and negotiating points on the backend. And she made sure Ruby’s agent got her plenty of extra work when she was on hiatus, whatever small role in a dumbass action flick (she always died before the first act was over) would give her profile a minor boost. Ruby should have known she would be good at this. Narcissism was practically an asset in this town.

But that was the trouble. Whatever Denise was, she had raised Ruby. She had been Ruby’s model for what an adult should look like before Ruby understood she shouldn’t be. Ruby worried that at least some of her mother’s darker shades were in her pallet. That she couldn’t be content either.

So was the problem that she was like her mother? Or was the problem only that she worried she was like her mother? Ruby didn’t know. But Emily was yet another casualty of this issue. Someone who had intrigued her, someone who had spoken to something in Ruby that she didn’t really understand. Ruby would never get to the core of what that thing was because she was too scared to try. Too scared to find out where her limitations lay.

As Ruby pulled into her drive, she concluded that her actions were for the best. She’d never have the chance to ruin anything with Emily. It would always be safe in its unspent potential. They might have been anything, everything or nothing. Ruby would never know. That was the best she could hope for.

She unlocked the main door in her apartment building and took the elevator to the third floor, where her modest one bed was. Her mother said it was better to hedge her bets when it came to property, not to take on big outlays before she was established. Ruby knew that meant, ‘In case you get fired and never find anything else.’ But the place was nice and comfortable, so Ruby supposed that she should just feel lucky to have her own place. Some of her fellow actors had to share, sometimes four or five to a tiny place. Ruby prized privacy above all else.

At the door, she remembered that she’d switched off her phone yesterday. She’d better turn the fucking thing on and face whatever bullshit was stored in there.

But when she looked at her phone, she was surprised to find it was already on, set to silent. And she had a lot of notifications. A staggering amount. From her Instagram. Which was weird because she barely ever posted anything. The last thing she posted had been a week ago, an on-set pic, her mother’s idea.

Ruby opened Instagram and checked the messages and they were all along the lines of one thing. She was being congratulated on something. Her first thought was that she had gotten the movie and it had gotten out before she could find out about it. That wasn’t out of bounds. Her mother tended to leave her out of things, forgetting to tell her when she was negotiating some endorsement or work offer. Ruby came out of Instagram and went to her phone, checking her voicemail. Her mother was old school. If she did have some news for her, that’s where Ruby would find it.

There was indeed a message from her mother. But it didn’t sound like good news.

‘Ruby! What the fuck is this? Why would you do something like this and not tell me? And you put it on social media? You’re such a little asshole!’ The message ended there.

Ruby had never been so confused in all of her life. She went back to Instagram and checked on her posts, something she should have done right away. Because there it was, the answer to the riddle, a picture, posted at two-thirty-five last night. It was her and Emily, standing in front of some building (a chapel?) holding up their hands to the camera, showing small silver bands on their wedding fingers. They were grinning like fools and clearly drunk. The caption read, ‘Me and Emily, just married!’

Ruby swallowed a lump in her throat the size of a clementine and stared at the photograph. She then looked down at her finger to see what had been there all along, unnoticed ‘til now. A cheap silver band.

This was bad. How had she forgotten that? Just how smashed had she gotten last night that she didn’t remember doing something so fucking stupid as getting married?

She still had the key in the door but she didn’t bother unlocking. She took the key out, left the building and got straight back into the car. She drove directly to her mother’s office and ran in, flinging the door open. Her mother turned from the window to look at her. Ruby cried, ‘Before you start screaming, I can explain.’ It was a lie. Ruby could explain precisely nothing.

But then she saw something unnerving. Her mother was smiling. ‘You little star’ she said.

‘What?’ Ruby asked.

‘You did it. You made the shortlist. I’ve been calling you. Why the hell didn’t you pick up?’

‘Err, OK, that’s… I guess that’s good’ Ruby said, trying to adjust herself. She’d been expecting the chewing out of a lifetime. ‘But I thought you were mad?’

‘Mad? You’re trending. That’s exactly what we need right now. High profile. I admit, I thought you’d screwed up, Barry told me yesterday you were an outlier, not to get our hopes up. But then I get a call from him this morning saying after some consideration, you’re still in the running, down to four names and I’m pretty sure that’s not a coincidence. Thinking about it, this was perfect. I’m pissed I didn’t think of it myself.’

‘You’re happy?’

‘Yes, of course. Look, I don’t expect to meet everyone you date, but you could have told me you were getting serious with someone.’ She shook herself. ‘You know what, who cares? I just need to meet her now or it might look a little weird. As mother of the bride. One of ‘em, anyway.’

Ruby chewed her lip.

‘Emily, is it?’ Denise asked. I’m seeing opportunities for some real red-carpet action. You and her, the same-sex newlyweds. Everyone’s gonna wanna know. People go nuts for weddings, for some weird fucking reason. And a gay one? Christ alive, you might just be living in about the only time in history when this could actually work in your favour. So, she at yours?’

Ruby took a deep breath. ‘No. Because... That’s where this gets a little tricky. I don’t... I didn’t actually mean to get married.’

‘I don’t understand’ Denise frowned.

‘Yeah, so, here’s the funny part of this. I didn’t meet her before last night. I guess, ha, ha, I guess I got a little drunk last night and, ah…’ Ruby babbled.

Denise’s unnerving smile was replaced by bare teeth for quite another reason. ‘You don’t know her?’ she asked softly.

‘No’ Ruby shrugged, afraid her mother was about to break a life long policy and back-hand her.

‘She’s a total stranger?’

‘Not a total stranger. I mean, we hung out a little before… You know.’

Denise’s eyes turned from green to black. ‘Ruby. Are you trying to tell me that you don’t have any fucking idea who this woman is?’

‘I wouldn’t put it quite that way.’

‘Oh? Then how would you put it?’ Denise asked, her tone dangerous. Ruby wanted to run. But she wasn’t six anymore. She was supposed to stand here and account for herself. Though she did take one little step backwards.

‘Well…’ she began. ‘The thing of it was… I mean…’

‘Where is she right now’ Denise demanded.

‘Yeah, ha, again, not sure.’

‘She’s not in LA?’

‘No.’

‘You left her in Vegas?’

‘Correct.’

Denise’s jaw was growing ever tighter. ‘Call her.’

‘That might be a little difficult. I don’t have her number.’

‘Then call her hotel! Christ, do I have to think of everything?’

‘Right. Yeah. Only… I’m not totally sure which one it was.’

‘Do you at least have her last name?’ Denise asked, furious.

Ruby didn’t want to have to say no again. So she shrugged.

‘OK, here’s the part I don’t understand. No, scratch that, there’s a lot I don’t understand but what I especially cannot fucking fathom is why you would do this and then post about it on Instagram.’

‘I don’t remember doing that. Like I said, I was kind of wasted’ Ruby said, sliding into a chair. She had now given up on trying not to get yelled at. In fact, she was starting to think she deserved this one anyway. It was probably the only time in her life where she could see her mother’s point of view. She’d done something that was not only stupid, but shitty. Leaving Emily in that room, under her mother’s gaze, became the most shameful part of it. Not that Denise would care about that so much. But Ruby found she did. So maybe it was good to get ripped a new one. Maybe it was right.

Denise took a deep breath, revving herself up. ‘Ruby Laura Knight, in all of your life, you have NEVER-’

Chad buzzed through. ‘Erm, Denise?’

Denise broke off mid-sentence, pissed, and went to the machine. ‘Yeah, what is it? I’m kind of in the middle-’

‘Someone here to see you.’

‘I don’t have any appointments.’

‘No, she says she’s looking for Ruby. She says it’s urgent.’

Denise looked to Ruby. ‘Do you have some stalker I don’t know about now? Do I need to call security?’

Ruby didn’t answer, just as confused as her mother.

Denise sighed. ‘What’s this person’s name?’

‘Emily.’

The hair on the back of Ruby’s neck went up immediately.

Denise raised an eyebrow and looked at her daughter. ‘Well, well. The second player in this comedy of errors.’

‘Mom, let her in!’ Ruby said, getting out of her chair and unconsciously tidying her hair.

Nine

Emily was standing in the reception area. Small, beige, a coffee machine in the corner and a cheesy blonde guy on reception.

‘She says go ahead’ Chad said from behind too-white teeth.

Emily braced herself and strode into the room. The first person she saw was Ruby. ‘Hi.’

‘Hi’ Ruby said anxiously. ‘It’s nice to see you.’

Emily didn’t buy the warm reaction at all. Ruby had had her fill of her, she knew that full well. That was what you were saying when you left an empty spot in the bed. ‘That’s plenty of you.’

But Emily had to put that aside. She was in a jam and Ruby was the only one who could get her out of it. She’d had to travel to LA as a consequence. She’d checked out of The Onyx and gotten a flight to LA, no small thing. And then a shuttle straight here. The landscape of LA was different from Vegas. It was flatter, less compressed, buildings and complexes clumped here, then miles of nothing until you hit another cluster of life. The weather was better, less hot and a lot less wet. But it didn’t matter, she wasn’t staying. She was going to change her flight home to one from LAX and get the hell out of here as soon as she and Ruby had agreed on how to go about getting this stupid marriage cancelled. She was tired, drained in body and mind. And now she was getting some casual lie from Ruby about being happy to see her. ‘I’d love to say the same, but we have a bit of a problem’ Emily said with bitterness.

‘Yes, I know.’

‘You know we’re married?’

‘Yep. Turns out I grammed it, just found out an hour ago.’

‘Oh. Right’ Emily answered.

‘How did you find me?’ Ruby asked.

‘Your Twitter. It says managed by Denise Knight Inc. You didn’t message me back and I couldn’t just wait around to see if you were giving me an annulment or not, so I looked up the address and came to LA’ she told the room.

‘I haven’t even looked at my Twi-’ Ruby started to say.

‘Well, at least someone has a little ingenuity’ the other woman in the room said, presumably the eponymous Denise Knight.

Ruby sighed and said. ‘This is my mom, by the way.’

Emily looked at Denise anew. ‘Oh?’

‘Yeah, she manages me’ Ruby explained.

‘Only in the way you manage a tornado or a rabid dog’ Denise said with a nasty smile. ‘So. We have a little problem.’

Emily, who wasn’t expecting to meet Ruby’s mother today, said nervously, ‘Well, yes.’ She didn’t know why it mattered really. This wasn’t her actual mother in law. Or if she was, only briefly.

‘So now the question becomes, how do we handle it?’ Denise asked the pair.

Emily didn’t really think this had anything to do with Denise, even if she was Ruby’s mother. This was a private fuck up. ‘Actually, do you mind if I have a word with Ruby. Alone.’

‘As a matter of fact, I do’ Denise said.

Emily didn’t know how to reply to that. She wasn’t used to such forthrightness. In the UK, people just gave fake laughs and said, ‘Actually, if it’s all the same to you…’ But this was LA, and she was in the office of a bona fide Hollywood person. She was going to have to adjust her expectations of civility. ‘I see’ she said evenly. After that, she was stumped.

Ruby rolled her eyes. ‘Mom, she’s right, we need to talk-’

‘No. You two have caused a clusterfuck with your actions. The adult needs to take over now’ Denise said with such deep authority, Emily was almost swayed. But then she remembered that she was two years from thirty and she paid her own bills and had a job and opened doors for people and remembered to write thank you notes and never got parking tickets. She was an adult by almost anyone’s standards. Maybe not for the last twenty-four hours, granted, but everyone was allowed one meltdown per lifetime, weren’t they? This was hers. And it was almost over. She just had to get through this difficult conversation and then she could leave and return to her life. ‘Look, Denise, I’m twenty-eight and while I appreciate that this is your daughter and you want the best for her-’

‘Yeah, sure, this is about wanting the best for me’ Ruby snarked. ‘But while we’re on the subject, I’m twenty-seven. I don’t need you to handle this’ Ruby told her mother.

Denise laughed. ‘I don’t think pointing out your age is a particularly strong argument. Because what you’ve done is act like a teenager. No, actually, your character is eighteen and she’d never do something so stupid. I mean, who the fuck does something like this, Ruby?’

‘Look, it really doesn’t matter what you think’ Ruby began, and Emily was thinking, Thank god someone said it. But Denise cocked an eyebrow and said, ‘Yeah, it does. Because you’ve just jeopardised the movie deal.’

‘How?’ Ruby asked her, frustrated.

‘Optics. What studio would trust you with a franchise off the back of this? You get smashed and marry a stranger in Vegas? This makes you look like a total car crash’ Denise explained angrily.

Chad buzzed through. ‘Denise, the Google alert picked up more reports. Apparently it’s not just on social media anymore. E! just did a segment.’

Denise pressed the button. ‘E!?’

‘E!’

Denise looked to Ruby. ‘Did you hear that? E!’

Ruby rolled her eyes. Denise waived a dismissive hand at her. ‘Oh, right, I forgot for a second that you were too cool to care. Well, E! never gave a shit about you before so you need to know, this is a significant thing. Your stock just went up. Which means further to fall. Unless…’ Denise tailed off.

Emily wanted them to stop having this side conversation. It didn’t concern her. She almost said so. But then Denise said, ‘Wow.’ She sat down in her chair slowly, contemplative. ‘You know what? I just figured out what to do about this.’ She looked to Emily. ‘You wanna make some money?’

‘What?’ Emily and Ruby asked together.

Denise smiled slowly. It scared the shit out of Emily. ‘You’re going to fake like this was a real marriage’ Denise told them. ‘Just for a few weeks. And then we’ll very quietly get this dealt with after Ruby signs the contract. Or is officially out of the running. Whichever comes first. If we can do that, this could actually work in our favour’ Denise said, not really paying any attention to Ruby and Emily anymore, completely ensconced in her own machinations. ‘Yeah. We can get some real press off the back of this, a last push to the finish line, get you front and centre, make you popular and more importantly, bankable-’

‘Err, I’m not sure if this might be a slight fly in the ointment but I’m not doing this’ Emily piped up. She couldn’t keep listening to this nonsense. She just wanted to go home and never think about it again.

Denise barked a laugh. ‘Yeah, sure. Let’s talk numbers.’

‘No. I’m not doing this, no matter how much you offer.’

Denise leant down to her desk and jotted something onto a post-it. She handed the post-it to Emily. ‘Here’s what we could offer. It’s not much. But below that is a different figure, a performance bonus if you will. If you do a good job and Ruby gets the movie, that’s what you’ll get.’

Emily sighed and took the post-it, checked the top figure, which was about enough to cover costs for this trip. ‘Look. I don’t care what you offer…’ And then her eyes happened to stray down the post-it, to look at the bottom figure. Emily broke off mid-sentence. She started laughing. ‘I think you accidentally put an extra zero on this other number.’

‘No. I didn’t. This deal is worth a lot of money. And it’s not just this movie, not even whatever franchise grows out of it, but where it takes Ruby. To the A-List. Millions and millions of dollars are at stake. I’m willing to pay whatever it takes to protect her future earnings.’

Ruby stomped over. ‘Can I see that please?’ she asked Emily. ‘By all means’ Emily said. Ruby took the post-it from Emily. ‘The fuck? This is crazy. And whose money even is this?’

‘It’s yours’ Denise said. ‘And you’ll pay it.’

‘That’s what you think’ Ruby growled. They descended quickly into a fresh row, about money. Who earned it and who deserved it.

But Emily barely heard them. She was still thinking about the figure on the post-it. A moment ago, she’d been sure she couldn’t be bought. But now she was thinking about Katie moving out and telling her to get a stranger to fill the spare room. If she took this money, that wouldn’t be necessary. She could afford to live alone. She might even be able to afford to put an offer in on the flat. A mortgage was cheaper than rent, wasn’t it? She could be set up from this, independent. If she could do this barmy thing.

As Ruby and her mother went back and forth, Emily said, ‘You say just a few weeks?’

Denise broke off mid-diatribe. ‘That’s right.’

‘And what exactly would I have to do?’

‘Attend a few public appearances. And stay in Ruby’s apartment while you’re doing it.’

Ruby’s face was a mask of shock. ‘First off, mom, no fucking way. Second, Emily? What the fuck? You’re not actually considering this, are you?’ she exploded.

‘I might be reconsidering my original position’ Emily muttered.

Ruby shook her head. ‘I’m surprised at you. I thought you were better than this.’

Emily was incensed. ‘I don’t think people who creep out of hotel rooms before the sun’s up get to judge other people.’

That shut Ruby up. But only briefly. ‘You know what? Doesn’t matter. Because we both need to agree for this to happen. And I don’t.’

‘Where were those words last night?’ Denise asked. No one laughed. ‘Hey, Emily, go get a coffee. Chad’ll make it for you.’

‘I don’t drink coffee’ Emily said apologetically.

‘Then get tea. Or whatever you Brits drink.’

Emily took the hint. ‘Alright.’ She left the room, exchanging one last glance with Ruby. She looked defiant.

Emily went out to the reception and sat down on a chair at the side of the room. Chad was tapping at his computer and he glanced up. ‘Can I get you something?’

Emily heard a raised voice in the connecting office. She couldn’t have said whose it was. ‘Sure’ she said, not wanting to hear the argument. ‘Water please.’ The row went up a decibel. ‘So, you work for Denise?’ Emily scrambled. ‘What’s that like?’

‘Great’ Chad said flatly, filling a plastic cup from cooler. Emily distinctly heard the words, ‘Money grabbing bullshit’ come from the office. This time, it was plainly Ruby. Chad pretended he hadn’t heard it. Emily was astounded by his poker face.

Chad handed Emily her water and she thanked him. The door suddenly flew open and Ruby stormed out, right past Emily. She didn’t look at her. Denise’s head came out of the office a moment later. She was smiling. ‘So I think we’re ready to make a deal. Come in and we can nut out the details. Oh, and you’re good with signing a non-disclosure agreement, right?’

‘Oh’ Emily said, standing unsurely. ‘I suppose.’ She followed Denise into her office, and as she stepped back over the threshold, she thought of a poem, or one particular line of it. ‘Will you walk into my parlour?’ said the spider to the fly.

There followed a rather detailed conversation about secrecy and a quick visit from a lawyer who came and got Emily’s signature on some dense looking contracts that Denise assured her was, ‘Pretty standard stuff.’

Emily didn’t think any of this was standard. It was bizarre. And Emily wondered, as she jotted her name on the dotted line, if she was making the biggest mistake of her life.

Ten

Ruby sat in her car in the parking lot across the road from the office. She was trying not to lose it. She couldn’t believe her mother. She was going to take this situation and try and turn it to her own advantage. Like every situation. It was sociopathic. Pretend like this was a real marriage between people who had known each other for more than a few hours? Who did Denise think she was? Ruby knew she could be accused of a lot of things. But a fake? No.

But Ruby wasn’t angry because of her mother’s plan. What she was really angry about was that she was going to go along with it. She’d pleaded her case hard but, in the end, Denise had talked cold hard logic and Ruby was unable to argue with it, as always. Denise had explained that if her marriage was exposed as a drunk Vegas fuck up – and it almost certainly would be if she got it annulled now because they would find out, the press, they always found out - it would damage her rep, not just now, but forever. It would live on her Wikipedia page for the rest of her days. It had scared Ruby more than she wanted to admit.

But Denise’s real trick had not been to talk about rescuing this situation, she’d talked instead about how this negative could be flipped into a positive. They could fake an entire relationship, something that had been going on for six months, which made it a quick marriage but wasn’t that even more romantic? That would paint a picture of a woman who’d found the one and promptly decided to settle down, take life seriously. And more importantly, take her career seriously. Of course, in another six months’ time it would turn out that she had ‘Made an error’ but by then, it would be too late. She’d be a star on the rise and no quickie divorce would be able to stop her. If she fronted a franchise that made money, nobody would care.

So Ruby sat here, in her car, trying to feel calm, trying to pretend that she could do this. But it was crazy. Emily was supposed to be the beautiful might-have-been. What would she become now? Her partner in crime? Her fellow liar? It was a terrible thought. It stripped away everything nice about last night, everything special and unique, and dragged it right into her crappy reality. Emily would be tainted, just another player on Ruby’s stage. Or rather, her mother’s stage. Because wasn’t it always about what Denise wanted? It never left room for Ruby to make a decision about her own life. Because she was on her way, that’s what she’d been told. She had what others wanted and that meant it was worth everything she did in pursuit of it. And if she was miserable, who cared? She was semi-famous and semi-wealthy and with the potential to raise her stock in both departments. In America, the rich and famous were at the top of the food chain. You were never supposed to throw such things away, not unless you wanted to be locked up in a mental hospital. Because as Denise pointed out time and time again, ‘Happiness is not the goal. That’s fleeting. But financial security? You can take that to the bank.’

But now was not the time to get into an existential crisis about her goals and aspirations. Because she had to drive out of this parking lot and pick up her wife.

She started the engine, cursing her mother the whole time, cursing her stupid, weird life. By the time she pulled up outside the office to find Emily waiting with her bag, she had expelled the majority of her rage and was now simply simmering with low-key fury.

‘Hello’ Emily said. ‘So your mum said I’m supposed to go to your place.’

Ruby nodded. ‘Apparently so. Get in.’

Emily climbed into the car. Ruby pulled out and drove away from Burbank, heading home. She didn’t look at Emily for the entire forty-five-minute drive. When she pulled into the apartment complex, she undid her belt and said, ‘Right. Come on.’

Emily followed without argument.

It was Ruby’s second attempt to get into her place today and this time she made it through the door, though she was not happy about it. Because she had a guest. Her sanctum was ruined.

‘So, this is the bathroom’ Ruby said, throwing open the door so Emily could see. ‘That’s the kitchen and this is the living space’ she continued, doing a speed tour until she arrived at the final location. ‘That couch is where you’re gonna sleep’ she said, nodding to it. She pointed at one last room. ‘That’s my room. I’m going in there right now to sleep and I don’t wanna be disturbed.’

She took a step towards the room in question, just wanting to fall onto the bed, slip into unconsciousness and imagine for a few sweet moments that none of this was happening.

But Emily cleared her throat and Ruby turned back. ‘Yeah?’

‘I was just…’ Emily began and then looked at the floor.

‘Spit it out.’

Emily’s brow creased. ‘That’s what I wanted to talk about. You’re angry with me. I don’t know why. You agreed to this too.’

‘Yes, I did. But it doesn’t mean I have to like it’ Ruby told her. She hated how she was speaking to Emily. She sounded like how Denise spoke to Chad. Entitled.

‘Well, I would appreciate it if you could just manage the bare minimum of manners. It seems only fair. I mean I know you probably didn’t ever plan to see me again, but things have changed now, and I really don’t think it’s fair-’

Ruby sighed through her nose. ‘The bare minimum of manners’ was a hard request to refuse. ‘Look, I’m doing my best.’

‘It’s not very good, then’ Emily told her.

‘I guess it’s not, no’ Ruby conceded. ‘But it’s gonna have to do.’ And she walked into the bedroom, closing the door and falling onto the bed fully clothed. It had been the longest day of her life. But all her days would be this from here on out. From now until Denise decreed otherwise.

Eleven

Emily was sat on Ruby’s sofa, the TV on. She didn’t know what else to do. She was staying in a stranger’s flat. She had no idea what the protocols were for that. She’d been awake about an hour. She’d slept surprisingly well but she attributed that to the physical and emotional exhaustion of the weirdest few days of her life.

Ruby hadn’t emerged for twelve hours, except to collect takeaway from the door at one point. To her small credit, she’d tossed Emily a Caesar salad as well as a duvet and pillow before vanishing back into her room.

Emily was still livid about Ruby’s attitude since she’d pitched up at her mother’s office. She understood that Ruby had never expected to see her again, but this was a fifty/fifty mess. Maybe even forty/sixty, considering Ruby had decided to publicise this madness. Emily had to assume that the attitude Ruby was flinging her way was because the last thing you wanted from a one-night stand was to be tied to them like this. And oh, how they were tied. But it was tough. Because now they had to work together, towards a common goal.

But before Emily could get on with that, she had an uncomfortable conversation to have with her brother. She supposed that was one thing she had in common with Ruby, if nothing else. They were beholden to relatives for a living.

She went into the bathroom to make the call, not wanting to be heard by Ruby while she did this.

‘Phil, hi’ she said.

‘How was the dentist?’ Phil asked immediately.

‘The what? Oh, yeah. Fine. Look, I need to tell you something.’

‘Is it about opening up on Monday?’

‘No. Well, in a way.’

‘I’m not gonna like this, am I?’ Phil said irritably.

‘Phil, listen a sec…’ Emily took a deep breath. There was only one way she was going to be able to explain her absence to her brother. An embarrassing admission that would get her some leeway. ‘Katie left.’

‘Left? Where did she go?’ Phil asked, confused.

‘I mean she left. Me. For someone else.’

There was a silence. ‘I think I misheard. This connection is not very good.’

‘Did you hear me say Katie left me for someone else?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then it’s fine.’

Phil let out a long whistle. ‘Are you serious?’

‘Very’ Emily said.

‘Shit me’ Phil breathed, shocked.

‘That was my thinking, yeah’ Emily said evenly. It was funny, all this had only happened a few days ago and yet she felt a strange distance from the whole situation, as though months had passed since she’d sat in that café and listened to Katie tell her she was binned. She supposed that was because of the amount of stuff that had occurred in the meanwhile. A flight to Vegas, a drunken night, a wedding, a hangover, a flight to LA, a strange offer, moving into Ruby’s. It made life seem longer than it was. But Emily was not about to admit that the stuff with Katie felt rather secondary. She was going to use what had happened to prize some slack out of her brother, who was no less a tough boss for being a blood relative and was, in fact, probably harder with her for it. But this was a life crisis, however you sliced it.

‘Look, the thing is, I sort of had what you might call a… A freak-out.’

‘Oh god, did you kill her?’ Phil asked.

‘What? No!’

‘Because it’s always the quiet ones.’

‘I didn’t kill her. It’s the total opposite, actually.’

Phil went quiet for a second and then asked, ‘You gave birth to her?’

‘Phil, stop it. Just listen.’

‘Alright, I’m listening.’

‘I’m… I’ve gone travelling.’

‘Gone? You’ve left the country?’

‘Yes.’

‘Where the hell are you?’ Phil sputtered.

‘LA’ Emily admitted. She could at least tell the truth about that.

‘What in god’s name did you go there for?’

‘It’s a long story. But I was hoping I could take some time off work. I need a break.’

‘This isn’t great notice, Em’ Phil said, and Emily was pretty sure she was about to be read the riot act. But then he said, ‘But… I guess we could manage without you for a while. Seeing as you’re obviously going through something right now. Fucking Katie. I never liked her, you know.’

‘I know’ Emily said.

‘Oh, did you?’ Phil asked, surprised. ‘I thought I hid it quite well.’

‘You always ground your teeth when she was around.’

‘Did I?’ Phil asked, mystified. ‘Well, I was right not to like her as it turned out so that’s fine with me. You know what it was?’ he went on, warming to his topic. ‘The way she proposed to you, but she wouldn’t set a date. It was a shallow proposal, she wasn’t serious. I could tell.’

‘Glad you could’ Emily said darkly.

‘So she just fucked off, out of the blue?’

‘That’s about the size of it.’

‘And you didn’t have any hint it was coming?’

Emily wished people would stop asking her that. It was making her feel even more of a fool than she already did. ‘No hint, no. I was in the dark. I never twigged. I was a total mug, a blithering clueless cuckold, my head was stuck right up my own arse-’

‘Alright, alright’ Phil said. ‘It’s not your fault, you know.’

‘Thanks, Robin Williams, but that’s not what I need to hear right now.’

‘I’m just trying to… Anyway’ Phil said, clearly feeling out of his depth. Emily felt for him. If the situation was reversed, what would she say to him? ‘There there?’ What was there to say? An idiot was an idiot. But this situation wouldn’t be reversed. Phil had picked right. He’d been married for years, two kids. He was set and he probably would be for the rest of his life. Emily envied it.

‘So about work… You’ll be shorthanded, won’t you?’

Phil audibly swallowed. ‘I’ll get Josh in.’

‘No. I know he’s our cousin but he’s a right lazy bastard. I once asked him what he wanted to do with his life and he said his ambition was to be one of those guys who’s famous for gaming on YouTube. Which might be alright, but he doesn’t have a YouTube account yet. Says he’s still in training.’

‘Which is why he’s always available.’ Phil replied. ‘It’s that or get a temp and I haven’t got the energy to break someone new in. Josh’ll have to do.’

‘But last time he put a shift in, he told that lady that paper books were dead. Told her to get a Kindle. And she did. He lost us a regular customer.’

‘It’s that or you come home, so it’s up to you.’

Emily sighed. ‘Sorry, fine, yes. I’m sure he’ll be alright.’

‘So, how’s LA so far?’ Phil asked. ‘You been to Disneyland?’

‘Is that all you know about LA? It’s got a rich cultural heritage, you know.’

‘Going back over all of sixty years. Amazing. You wouldn’t think anyone was alive back then’ Phil laughed.

‘Stop it, would you?’ Emily warned him. Truth be told, she didn’t know what she thought of LA. All she’d seen of it so far was the inside of Denise’s office, which was not a great start. But she was here now, and she would be here for the foreseeable. She was going to have to make friends with the place. She just hoped it was better than Vegas, which had not remotely been her cup of tea. ‘Anyway, you’ve barely been out of Oxfordshire. What would you know about LA?’

‘I’ve read Valley of the Dolls’ Phil said, pleased with himself.

‘Brilliant’ Emily replied. ‘I’ll be sure to pick that up if I decide to become a drug addict as part of my holiday.’

‘I’m only trying to tell you, there’s a seedy underbelly.’

‘Everywhere in the world has a seedy underbelly, Phil. Even Oxford.’

‘I’m just saying, watch yourself. It’s different.’

‘That’s the whole idea.’

There was a bang on the door.

‘Hold on a second’ Emily said to the door, putting her hand over the phone. There was no reply. She went back to her call. ‘Alright, anyway, gotta go.’

‘OK.’

‘Thanks for being nice… About everything.’

‘That’s alright. But I expect a postcard. And when you get back, you’re doing deliveries for a month.’

‘Fair enough.’ They said goodbye and Emily hung up. The door banged again. ‘Alright!’ Emily snapped.

She opened the door. Ruby stood there, in shorts and a t-shirt, her hair bedraggled. ‘Jesus, what took so long? You backed up?’

Emily gritted her teeth and left the bathroom, Ruby shuffling by. As the door slammed in her face, she wondered how the hell she was going to pretend to be Ruby’s real wife when she couldn’t even be civil? What the hell was her problem anyway? This was for her. Her movie deal, her career, her life. Why was she acting so bloody put out by Emily going along with the plan her mother had concocted? She could have said no to it if she was so disgusted at the idea of pretending she’d married Emily intentionally.

But she hadn’t. So they were wives. Tough luck, Ruby.

Twelve

Ruby had just gotten off the phone to her mother and as ever, she was left feeling like she’d just been hit by a cross-town bus. It was a series of commands, issued at speed and with no expectation of refusal. It contained a location and a time. In one hour.

Ruby thought she’d better get ready. And then she found her bathroom occupied. It sounded like Emily was taking a phone call in there. And it was taking forever. Ruby needed to piss like nobody’s business. Of all the rooms to occupy!

She banged on the door and Emily had the temerity to tell her to hold on. It was her damn bathroom, not an office. Ruby was incensed. And busting. When the door finally opened, she was ready to explode in several senses. ‘Jesus, what took so long? You backed up?’ she cracked, only to be met with a withering look that she didn’t have time for.

She closed the door on Emily and released the pressure on her poor little bladder. Once she was feeling less pain, she called through the door. ‘Hey!’

There was a moment’s pause and then a belligerent, ‘Hey, what?’

‘We need to be out in an hour. My mom set something up.’

‘Something?’

Ruby got up and washed her hands. ‘A pap thing. She wants us having breakfast at a place on Sunset, some photographer is tipped to it. They’re gonna snap us being, I don’t know, newlyweds in love or some shit.’ She dried her hands as she waited for a response. ‘OK?’

‘Fine’ came the reply.

Ruby opened the door. ‘You sure about that?’

‘Sure about what?’ Emily asked.

‘About performing like that. You’re not an actor.’

‘No, but I’m British. We know how to pretend we’re happy’ Emily said dryly. Ruby was tempted to laugh, but she stopped herself just in time. ‘Well, alright then.’

‘Alright then’ Emily said and turned away from the bathroom. She called over her shoulder, ‘Oh and I need to shower too so you better hurry up.’

Ruby gritted her teeth and closed the door. She used the shower to prepare herself for the performance of a lifetime.

***

Sitting on the patio at the restaurant, Jasper’s, Ruby watched Emily eat a full breakfast with pancakes, bacon, the works. She herself was working on a fruit salad. It was murder being so close to the carbs she couldn’t touch. She was doing Keto right now. That fried food in Vegas was an aberration, and now she’d have to pay by being extra careful.

But Emily didn’t seem to care and she was rubbing her delicious food right in Ruby’s sharply cheekboned faced. Ruby nearly lost it once or twice, fantasising about grabbing a waiter and demanding all the carbohydrates they had. After all, Emily looked pretty good for the fact she didn’t sweat what she ate, it had to be said. Then again, her face and body didn’t have to stand up to HD.

‘We need to be smiling’ Ruby told Emily.

‘I’m eating. I don’t smile when I eat.’

‘Try’ Ruby told her.

‘I can’t say I’ve seen your teeth yet today’ Emily shot back.

Ruby stretched her lips back over her teeth. ‘There’ she said her bare teeth. ‘Your turn.’

Emily finished her mouthful and tried to match the wattage of the smile. If you were measuring the smile in teeth by the millimetre, she was there. But it didn’t reach her eyes. ‘How’s that?’

Ruby kept her smile in place as she said, ‘Passable. But you need to tell the rest of your face.’

Emily thought for a second and then held up a piece of bacon. Love came into her eyes immediately. ‘Like this?’

Ruby nearly laughed. For the second time that morning, she shoved it down.

‘Where’s this photographer, anyway?’ Emily said, stuffing the bacon into her face.

‘You don’t always see them’ Ruby told her. ‘They can be subtle, sneaky…’

Suddenly a forty-year-old guy in a snapback, wearing a giant SLR camera around his neck, ran over to the table. ‘Hi guys? Can I get a shot of the gorgeous newlyweds?’

Emily turned to Ruby. ‘You were saying?’

Ruby rolled her eyes at Emily. She turned to the photographer. ‘You want us to pose?’

‘If it’s cool’ the guy said.

Ruby had thought this was going to be a candid thing. But this guy had clearly not gotten the memo. ‘Yeah, sure.’ She turned to Emily. ‘That alright with you, Honey?’ she asked sweetly.

Emily looked momentarily thrown but recovered quickly. ‘Yes. OK, then. Sweetie.’

‘Alright then’ the photographer said and raised his camera. ‘Let’s see you get close.’

Ruby hesitated only for a moment before sliding around the table, leaning in to Emily, keeping a sliver of air between them. ‘Like this?’

‘Come on, guys, you can do better than that!’ the photographer said.

Ruby really didn’t think she could. She was about to tell the guy to fuck off and stop pushing his luck. But then she felt arms around her waist and a pair of lips planted on her cheek and the camera went, click, click, click. ‘Beautiful’ the guy said, checking his display. Ruby took that moment to turn and look at Emily, who was moving quickly back, with a mouthed, ‘Sorry.’

Ruby shook her head and mouthed, ‘Whatever’. She turned to the photographer. ‘Where’s this gonna show up?’

He looked back up from his viewfinder. ‘Don’t know yet but my guess is Buzzfeed will buy it. Anyway, thanks. Enjoy your breakfast.’ He dashed off, presumably looking to get a shot of someone more famous doing something more interesting. Perhaps Kevin Bacon collecting his dry cleaning.

Once he was gone, Ruby cleared her throat. ‘You didn’t need to apologise.’

‘I feel like I did’ Emily said, her eyes darting back down to her plate as Ruby slid back round to her spot. ‘We never discussed touching. I just felt pressured in the moment.’

Ruby watched Emily eating in an embarrassed fashion and for a moment, she felt a kinship. Emily wasn’t some opportunist looking to make a buck any which way she could. She was remorseful for crossing the smallest line. Ruby appreciated how respectful it was. ‘This is weird, isn’t it?’ Ruby said.

Emily gave her a real smile then, brief but bright. ‘It really is.’

Ruby felt silly suddenly, silly for being such a bitch to Emily. ‘I’m sorry for making this hard’ she said.

Emily nodded. ‘That’s fine.’

‘You don’t have to say that. I know I’ve been a dick.’

Emily smiled thinly. ‘I wouldn’t use the word dick. Necessarily.’

Ruby shrugged. ‘Anyway, it’s just been… I don’t know how I feel about all this’ she admitted.

‘Me neither. I keep thinking I’ve made a mistake.’

Ruby was relieved to hear that. Her instinct was to put the brakes on, for both their sakes. ‘It’s not too late to correct it. We could stop this. Right now.’

‘But I agreed with your mother. We have a verbal contract, I promised to be your wife. Not to mention the written non-disclosure on top of that.’

‘But the NDA is just to stop you talking. It’s only the verbal agreement that says you have to do this whole marriage thing. But she can’t make you do anything, not really. I mean, you know what they say about verbal contracts?’

‘Not worth the paper they’re printed on’ Emily finished. ‘So is that what you want to do?’ Emily asked. ‘Fuck it all off?’

This was Ruby’s moment. She could cancel this whole thing, tell her mother where to shove it. Let the chips fall where they may.

But before she could say yes, screw it, doubt crept into Ruby’s heart. The big lead was at the back of her mind. She didn’t really know if it was what she wanted, but could she really afford to fling such an opportunity to the wind? Because if she shut this thing with Emily down right now, her mother had as good as convinced her that was what she was doing. Throwing her career away.

So what do you do when you don’t know what you want? The only thing you can. Keep your options open.

‘What if I was alright with it? What if I said let’s keep it going? What would you say?’ Ruby asked casually.

‘Are you saying that?’ Emily asked, bewildered.

‘Like I said. You’re free to quit it right now. I’ll drive you to the airport. But if you decide not to go, I… I could commit to it. Go all in. Commit to the lie.’

Emily nodded, and Ruby couldn’t tell if she was relieved or disappointed. ‘Right. So we’re really doing this.’

‘Your call’ Ruby pressed.

Emily stared off past Ruby’s shoulder, beyond the patio, to the street. ‘I’ll stay.’ She ate a small bite of food. ‘But we’ve got to find a way to make it easier on each other or the situation will become impossible. Don’t you think?’ Emily asked.

Ruby couldn’t argue. ‘I know.’

‘So let’s do what any two colleagues would do. Be civil. Get through the work day.’

‘I guess that’s how it should be’ Ruby agreed. It felt good to stop being awful to Emily. She couldn’t think now what had made her be that way. Emily was a good person in a jam, and she was making the best of it. That was all. She wasn’t anything like her mother. Or Ruby, for that matter.

‘Oh and I think we’re going to need some kind of bathroom schedule’ Emily added.

Ruby burst out laughing. She couldn’t help it. ‘That’s a great idea.’

‘But first off, as just became rather apparent, we need a discussion about boundaries.’

‘Look, I didn’t mind the cheek kiss’ Ruby explained. And she didn’t. It had surprised her, sure, but not in an unpleasant way.

But Emily had a bee in her bonnet. ‘That’s nice and I know this sounds odd, but I did.’

‘But you know we… You know we kissed before, right?’ Ruby said, her eyes flitting away from Emily’s. They still hadn’t really talked about all of that.

Emily coughed into her hand. ‘Yes, I do.’ She took an embarrassed pause. ‘Actually, while we’re on the subject… Did we, umm… I don’t quite recall, if we… I mean, I was three sheets to the wind and I don’t know how far…’ She rolled her eyes at herself. ‘I don’t know how far… Things… Got.’

Ruby burst out laughing. ‘You don’t know if we had sex or not?’

‘Keep your voice down’ Emily hushed her, blushing. ‘If anyone heard that, it’d give the game away a bit.’

‘Sorry, right, of course’ Ruby said quietly, checking for any ears pointed their way. But no one gave a shit. They only cared about their food. ‘Actually, that bit… I kind of remember’ Ruby told her.

‘Do you?’ Emily asked.

‘I guess I was starting to sober up a little. I think we just... I’m pretty sure it was just some making out. On your bed.’

‘Was it?’ Emily asked, relieved.

‘I mean, it wasn’t totally PG13. We did get a little… But before anything could happen below the waist, you fell asleep’ Ruby cleared her throat, embarrassed. ‘Your virtue is safe.’

A sharp laugh fell from Emily’s lips. ‘OK, well, good to know.’

Ruby was abruptly nervous. She wanted to stop talking about this. It felt dangerous. It felt confusing. Theirs was a business arrangement now and they were entering into it in a new spirit. Talking about that night could have nothing to do with this or it was doomed to get weird.

Plus, and this was the bigger thing of it, Ruby didn’t want to have to talk about what she’d done. She’d been ashamed of it even before she’d had to face Emily again. She was fighting an hourly battle with that mortification now. How could she explain that, despite the lovely night they’d had, Ruby had felt compelled to sneak out like a criminal? It was pathetic, embarrassing. It shone a light on Ruby’s insecurity. Ruby couldn’t handle that. It wasn’t cool to let people see what fucked you up. Despite what the talk shows said, it wasn’t some beautiful thing that helped you to learn and grow. Any display of weakness only served to make people disgusted with you. She’d learned that in the business. Any feelings Ruby had, she put it into work. It was the thing that made her a decent actress, in her own opinion. And a flaky girlfriend. So she had to avoid the topic of her sad little creep out of that hotel door at all costs. ‘So yeah, anyway, we didn’t do it. Which is probably better. Because now it means we don’t have to get all weird with each other, right?’ Ruby said quickly.

Emily blinked. ‘Yes, I… Yes, I’m sure you’re right.’

‘Cool, shall we shake on the new deal, then?’ Ruby said, sticking her hand out, feeling more fake than ever. Emily’s handshake was soft, gentle. In view of that, Ruby did her best to make the handshake brief. This whole situation was spiralling. She half wished she was still being shitty with Emily. It wasn’t right, it felt bad. But it sure was simpler.

But that time was over. And now? She was committing to her ‘Wife’. For a few weeks. It would involve faking warmth, love, a healthy sexual relationship. She’d never really seen any of that before in real life. But that was OK. She’d seen it on TV. Hell, she’d seen herself do it on TV.

Emily started eating again and Ruby went back to picking at her salad. Emily glanced at Ruby’s plate and gave a giant sigh. ‘Right, that’s enough of that. Waiter?’

As the guy came over, Ruby asked, ‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m ordering you some real food.’

‘No, Emily, I’m-’

‘What can I get you?’ the waiter asked.

‘This one will have pancakes’ Emily said, nodding at Ruby. ‘With whatever fried meats come with it.’

The man nodded and left.

‘I’m on Keto’ Ruby admonished.

‘Oh’ Emily said. ‘You want me to cancel the order?’

Ruby licked her lips and sighed. ‘No.’ And then ‘Thanks.’

When the food came later, Ruby ate voraciously. Emily held a piece of pancake on her fork and said, ‘To carbs!’

Ruby smiled, picked up a whole pancake and touched it against Emily’s. ‘To carbs. But this does mean I’m gonna have to work out extra hard today.’

‘That’s up to you. But I can’t stand to see someone deny themselves proper food. It’s mentally unhealthy.’

‘I feel like this marriage is going to cause me to put on weight, the way it’s going so far’ Ruby told her.

‘You can afford a couple of pounds’ Emily said, taking a sip of coffee.

Ruby didn’t know how to respond. She’d never heard anyone say that, not in her years as an actress. She was shocked and delighted.

Thirteen

Emily about rolled out of brunch, stuffed to the gills. If she could say one thing about America, it knew what to do about breakfast. It was utter madness to look at a menu like that and order a fruit salad. She didn’t care what Hollywood bollocks Ruby had been told. She just hoped she hadn’t overstepped. Despite one nice moment, Emily had to remind herself they weren’t a real couple. It had been easy for a minute, too easy. Like that night in Vegas.

But she had to remember who she was, where she was, why she was. Because that man had said kiss and she’d thought nothing of it. It was only as the man left, she realised no-one was paying her to touch Ruby. Ruby’s mother had said, ‘Be affectionate in public’ but she’d never really had that talk with Ruby. One person couldn’t command you to touch another without their say-so. Even if they’d kissed before.

As they walked back to the car, it was time to put the rules in place. ‘So, I thought we could just establish where the boundaries are.’

‘I guess that’s a good idea’ Ruby said with a nod. ‘So first off, what you just did? The cheek kiss? That’s fine.’

‘Great. And obviously, my cheek is also open for business’ Emily responded.

‘But what about lips?’ Ruby asked.

‘I don’t think lips… I don’t think that’s a good idea’ Emily said quickly. She was feeling a heat spreading up her neck at the word lips for some reason. She prayed it wouldn’t reach her face.

‘Why not?’ Ruby asked.

‘Because it’s too intimate’ Emily said.

‘Doesn’t have to be. I do screen kisses sometimes and, in that situation, there’s nothing intimate about it at all’ Ruby told her.

‘But as you pointed out, I’m not an actress’ Emily replied. ‘So everyone I ever kissed, I meant it’ she said without thinking. She felt that familiar awkward atmosphere rise up again. The ghost of that night, would it ever stop haunting them? How were you supposed to talk about pretending to kiss someone you’d really and truly kissed?

But Ruby just jumped right on over the elephant in the room, saying, ‘OK, look, you’re right. You’re not a trained actress. So how about we make it a specific, small amount, so it doesn’t feel like we’re doing it all the time. A maximum number of kisses on the mouth?’

Emily thought about it. It sounded better somehow, knowing neither of them could get carried away. ‘OK, how about two?’

‘Four?’ Ruby asked.

‘Three’ they both said in unison. ‘And it doesn’t matter who initiates them, once they’ve run out, we don’t do it again’ Ruby added.

‘Agreed. Oh and hands on waists?’ Emily asked.

‘That’s alright with me. Oh, how would you feel about handholding?’

‘Yeah, that’s no problem.’

They were at the car by this point. ‘So this has been weird’ Ruby smiled. ‘But I gotta get to set. Can I drop you somewhere?’

‘Oh, err…’ Emily said, taken aback. Her first day in LA alone. What would she do?

‘I can just take you back to mine if you want?’ Ruby said, opening the door.

‘No, I should probably see… Something.’

‘Something huh?’

‘Yeah. I have to have something to tell my brother when I get back and I don’t think ‘I pretended to be married’ is going to cut it.

‘So he doesn’t know?’

‘Would you tell anyone about this?’

‘By it’s nature, I’m not allowed to’ Ruby said with a thin smile.

‘You know what I mean. You could discuss this with your mum, if necessary.’

‘We don’t really discuss things’ Ruby said, her face falling into a light frown. ‘She tells me what to do and I pretend I’m not going to do it and eventually she wears me down and I give her what she wants.’

‘So we’re both on our own with all this, then.’

‘Not exactly. I mean, we’re in the same boat. You can’t really be alone in a fake marriage’ Ruby said quietly as a woman nearby got into her car. They both waited for her to drive off.

‘Hey, if you want something to tell your brother, you could come with me to work’ Ruby said.

‘What? No’ Emily said. ‘I couldn’t do that. Could I?’ she asked. She’d never been to a set before. That would count as a real LA experience as much as anything else.

‘I mean, it’s boring as shit but…’ Ruby said.

‘Yes, I’d like that’ Emily said quickly.

‘Yeah, you’ll come?’ Ruby asked, and Emily could have sworn Ruby was a little pleased. And then Ruby said, ‘Because that’ll really help sell the whole thing, if we came to the set together. We could act like we can’t be apart for a minute. I could post about it, get some pics. My mom’s been texting about social media presence all morning. It would get her off my back.’

Emily’s smile dropped a quarter of an inch. ‘Then let’s do it.’

Suddenly it sounded a lot less fun. Because she was still just on the job. She probably never wouldn’t be. Anytime Ruby was nice, it would be for this. She hated how disappointing that realisation was. They weren’t dating. They weren’t even friends. Matter of fact, after this was done and Emily flew home, she would never see Ruby again.

She was suddenly hit by jetlag like a slap. She wanted sleep. But she’d agreed to go to the set now.

***

Emily watched from a chair in the make-up trailer as someone lathered foundation onto Ruby. Emily thought it was too much. Ruby was a natural beauty. Make-up only took from her. But this was apparently how you looked on TV. Emily was glad no one ever looked at her. She was just a pair of eyebrows over a stack of books most days and that was how she liked it.

A guy walked into the trailer. He had classic actor good looks and a cocky air. ‘So I hear congratulations are in order. Which is weird. I didn’t even know you were dating anyone.’

Ruby said, ‘Yeah, we... We’re private.’ She gestured for Emily to come over. Emily did as she was bid. ‘Sweetie, I want you to meet my co-star, Rock.’

‘Rick?’

‘Rock’ he corrected.

Emily had no reply to that. She’d never met anyone named after a pebble before.

‘So you guys got married in Vegas?’ Rock said, barely trying to hide his sneer.

‘Yep.’

‘Were you drunk?’ he asked.

‘We’d had a drink, but it wasn’t like that’ Ruby said, which was the agreed party line. Anyone who took even a brief look at the snap would know they weren’t sober. ‘But we’d been wanting to do it for a while. It was just the right moment.’

‘In… Vegas?’ Rock smiled.

‘It doesn’t really matter where you do it, Rock. We just wanted to get married.’

‘But you guys could have had a big wedding here. You could have invited the press.’

‘What makes you think I would want press there’ Ruby said through a tight smile.

‘Because I keep hearing about how you had this tiny wedding. Yet everyone’s talking about it. Just seems funny.’

‘Then I guess we didn’t need a big wedding, Rock. Did we?’

‘I guess you didn’t. Well, better get into costume’ he said, flashing his teeth at Emily and walking out of the trailer, not quite slamming the door.

***

Later, in Ruby’s private trailer, Ruby checked her lines while Emily flicked through Buzzfeed, looking for the brunch snap. It wasn’t up yet.

‘That little prick’ Ruby suddenly said to herself.

Emily knew immediately who she meant. ‘Rock? You guys don’t get on, do you?’

‘He hates me. I hate him. It’s a thing. He’s second billed. Drives him nuts.’

‘Are you a couple on the show?’

‘On again, off again. I prefer it when it’s off again.’

‘So you have to kiss that guy?’

‘Don’t remind me’ Ruby said, rolling her eyes.

‘Now I see what you mean about kissing without feeling anything.’

‘Oh, I do feel something. Disgust’ Ruby moaned.

‘I’m guessing it would be bad if….’ Emily looked through the window and there were crew members everywhere lighting a school set a few metres away. She dropped her voice. ‘He figured out…’

‘Yep. Bad. He’d expose me in a heartbeat because he secretly hopes I get fired so they can make the show about him. And he knows I’m up for the big one. It’s killing him’ Ruby said, her smile wide. ‘I kinda hope I get it just to see his reaction.’

Emily laughed.

‘But seriously. If he ever gets you alone, keep it simple. We’ve been dating for six months. We met on a flight.’

‘On a flight?’ Emily said. They hadn’t discussed this part of the story yet. ‘Where did you come up with that?’

‘Well, we’re from different continents. It makes sense.’

‘Except you’d be in first class and I’d be in economy’ Emily reminded her.

‘Oh’ Ruby said. ‘Well, in the departure lounge then. And I was immediately smitten. So I downgraded my ticket to economy so I could talk to you some more. That’s romantic, right?’

Emily raised a cynics eyebrow. ‘I mean, I can imagine something more like a delay, where you were forced to spend hours with me and I sort of grew on you. But I don’t think anyone would believe you lost half a foot of leg room to talk to me.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because you’re fancy and Hollywood. I’m a bookseller from Oxford.’

Ruby didn’t answer for a moment. And then she said softly, ‘That was plenty when we met.’

Emily’s mouth fell open a fraction of an inch.

There was a sharp rap at the door and a head popped in. ‘Miss Knight?’ We’re ready for you.’

Emily looked at the guy and said, ‘Sorry! Monopolising the missus! I just love her so much!’

‘Alright’ the guy said and left.

‘You might want to take it down. Just a notch’ Ruby said and stood. Emily was all at odds. Ruby was right. That had been weird. But she’d been in a weird moment. What Ruby had said had been confusing. Why would she say it? They should never talk about that, wasn’t that clear by now?

‘Come on’ Ruby said, and Emily followed her out to the set, where a young woman gave her a chair. Ruby was taken away from her by the young woman, delivered, almost hand over hand, to the director, who immediately began to talk to her in a stream of words, broken only by the odd nod from Ruby. Rock appeared, and the director turned to him and said a few words which were immediately interrupted by something said by Rock to which the director nodded and smiled. It was clear to Emily, even from a distance, that Rock was a lot more demanding than Ruby. Rock talked while Ruby listened. It was interesting to see Ruby in this context. They’d spoken a lot about Ruby’s job but seeing her on set was a reveal. Emily was intrigued to see what would happen when the director shouted action.

‘Action!’

The scene started. Ruby (or ‘Elise Wolfwater’, descendant of a long line of Wolfwaters who’d lived in the town since the Mayflower rolled in – oh and also, they were werewolves) was at her high school locker, when Rock (Zachary Drinkington, nearly as old a family and yes, as you’re probably able to guess, vampires) came over. He wanted to know if Elise was coming to his party. Elise gave Zachary short shrift. It seemed they were not on good terms because Zachary was dating Elise’s former best friend after Elise had broken his unbeating little heart some time back.

Emily had to admit that everything Ruby had said about the show was absolutely correct. It wasn’t good. It was an amalgamation of half a dozen other shows, and they had combined into something deeply mediocre. But there was something else that became obvious during the scene.

Ruby was good.

Whatever that ‘It’ quality was that people talked about, Ruby had it, but then Emily had already known that just from being around her. The surprise was that Ruby took her work very seriously, and did not give the big, scenery chewing performance Rock was giving. Hers was subtler, stiller, you had to look for the emotions. But they were there, alright. Just underneath the surface. It was no wonder Rock hated Ruby, Emily thought. He must have known on some level that he was playing out of his league.

As the scene went on, Emily nearly felt sorry for Rock. But then came the cry of ‘Cut’ and the director scuttled over, and Emily heard him say something to Rock along the lines of maybe pulling his performance back a bit. He smiled and said, ‘Sure’ but it was obvious he didn’t like that. What he also didn’t like was the director telling Ruby to keep doing what she was doing. So the next take of the scene went even worse. Because Rock was putting his anger directly into the scene, talking to Ruby not like someone who he was still in love with, but rather a lot like someone he wanted to kick in the throat. The director yelled cut and the scene went around again. And again. And again. Finally, the director called lunch. Emily was amazed. They’d barely started.

Ruby rushed over. ‘Hey, wanna eat?’

‘Already?’

Ruby lowered her voice. ‘Yeah, I think the director’s giving Rock time to calm down.’

***

Ruby and Emily ate in Ruby’s trailer - that seemed in line with privacy seeking newlyweds - a runner taking their orders and bringing them what they wanted. Ruby was back on salad. Emily had a burrito. ‘So what was all that about?’ Emily asked, unwrapping her food.

‘I don’t know. He’s not usually so bad as that’ Ruby frowned.

Emily bit into her burrito. ‘You were good though.’

Ruby regarded a cherry tomato. ‘Anyone would look good next to Rock.’

‘Maybe. But I still thought you were…’ Emily stopped, trying to think of the right word. Trouble was, all the ones she thought of were a bit much. She didn’t want Ruby to think she was paying her a false compliment. She only wanted to tell her the truth.

But Ruby looked up, expectantly. She awaited the word Emily would choose. So Emily couldn’t do anything but use the word she really wanted to, hyperbolic as it was. ‘…Fantastic.’

‘You don’t have to say that’ Ruby said. ‘There’s no one around.’

‘That’s right’ Emily said. ‘So you know I mean it.’

Ruby looked away, embarrassed. Emily was astonished to see it. She’d thought Ruby was tough. But all it took was one little compliment and she was unravelled. Emily was surprised by how delighted she was. ‘Are you not used to compliments?’

Ruby got her blush under control and said, ‘Have you met my mother? I was ranked third in affection to two Pekingese dogs. The closest she ever came to saying anything nice was, ‘At least that haircut’s growing out.’

Emily frowned. ‘Christ.’

‘What about yours?’ Ruby asked.

‘My what?’

‘Parental units. They nice to ya?’ Ruby inquired, pushing a rocket leaf into her mouth.

Emily took a deep breath. ‘I suppose, in their way. They said nice things. There was always a ‘But’ with them.’

‘A but?’

‘Yes. ‘Wow, you got an A in your maths test? That’s great. But the best thing about it is that next time, you can see if you can get an A+.’

‘That’s shitty.’

‘Doesn’t sound as bad as yours’ Emily said quickly. She didn’t want to steal Ruby’s crap parent thunder.

But Ruby tutted. ‘That’s just a different flavour of suck to me. But it’s suck all the same.’

‘Maybe it is’ Emily admitted. It felt nice to have someone tell her that. She’d always felt like she had to feel grateful for her parents, who had fed, clothed and loved her pretty well, all things considered. The odd undermining compliment felt like nothing she could complain about. But the truth was, those words had hurt. She’d always felt just shy of adequate. She wondered if that’s why she kept picking the wrong women. Look at Katie. She’d always managed to make Emily feel like she was punching above her weight. But why? When you broke it down, why was Katie such a catch? Sitting here with Ruby, she wondered if she hadn’t been tricked. Katie was slovenly, lazy. She had talked over Emily all the time. She’d hardly ever asked about Emily’s day. She was stupid with money, constantly having to borrow from Emily at the end of the month.

And the big one. She’d cheated on Emily for six whole months, only telling her when she was ready to make the permanent leap to her next girlfriend. That was newer information, but it spoke to Katie’s general character.

So why had Emily thought Katie was someone to hang onto? And why, oh bloody why, was she only realising right now that it wasn’t true? Because she was talking to someone who listened to her, heard her. And somewhere along the way, Emily had forgotten to expect that. She’d become a side character in her own life. The dutiful girlfriend. In the end, all she’d had left was to organise Katie’s life, because she was barely in it. No wonder Katie had gotten bored. She’d reduced Emily to her maid and personal assistant.

Thinking about it that way, Emily was starting to feel that getting cheated on and left might not be the worst thing that could have happened to her. In fact, maybe it had been a lucky escape.

Emily was suddenly left with the clear knowledge that Katie would do the same thing to her new girlfriend, Alison. The smallest smile began to creep onto her face at the thought. She wasn’t the problem. Katie was the problem. Emily wasn’t some lifeless, dull, rigid bore. For god’s sakes, she’d flown to the other side of the world and immediately gotten embroiled in the most absurd situation, filled with drama, intrigue, lies, all against a Hollywood backdrop. So it wasn’t that Emily couldn’t be crazy when she set her mind to it. She’d just chosen not to be. And if she decided not to again once this madness was done with, that would be alright. Because she’d know that everything Katie had said was wrong, wrong, wrong. Emily could be anything she wanted. She could have a quiet life and know that it was her choice.

And in the meantime, she should enjoy this for what it was. A moment in time. With Ruby, who was not the worst person to be glued to for a while. Far from it. All this was finite, yes. But that could be a good thing. Emily could throw herself into this, let it be whatever it was going to be.

‘Hey, you still want to get that shot for your Instagram?’ she asked Ruby, feeling a sudden lightness. Because she was free of Katie. Free of her hurtful words. Just free.

‘Sure’ Ruby said. ‘How do you want to pose?’

‘We could use one of the three kisses’ Emily said, trying not to sound suggestive about it.

‘Let’s save them’ Ruby said. ‘We might need them.’

‘How about you look at the camera and I kiss you on the cheek?’ Emily amended.

Ruby raised an eyebrow. ‘Alright.’

Emily sidled up to Ruby as she got out her phone, putting the camera on selfie mode. ‘Ready?’

‘Ready.’

Emily leaned in and pressed her lips to Ruby’s warm cheek, looking at the camera out of the side of her eye. Ruby’s smile was wide. She hit the button and snap, there it was for posterity, another record of the fake marriage. Emily swore to herself as she watched Ruby upload the shot to Instagram that she would cherish this photo. It represented a time and a place and an Emily who existed only for today, a mayfly who could be dead tomorrow, becoming whatever else she wanted.

Fourteen

‘It’s working’ Denise was saying down the phone some days later. It had been a weird week. Emily had been shackled to her the whole time, sat around in the trailer at Denise’s insistence, quietly reading most of the time. But sometimes they talked too, and Ruby thought it was kind of nice having her around, she was a calming presence. Not that Ruby would have admitted that.

While that was going on, Denise monitored social media and the click-bait articles that sprang from it, fielding calls from interviewers who wanted to hear all about the hottest new couple in Hollywood. Denise had refused them all. She had two reasons. Firstly, she didn’t think Emily was up to intense scrutiny. Ruby thought that was wise, Emily was no born liar. But Denise had a second reason, which she was currently explaining. ‘You trended this week.’

‘Yeah, I know. I’m getting way more people coming up to me now. In the gym, on the sidewalk, coffeeshops. In the restroom of the coffeeshops. I think I liked it more when no one watched this show’ Ruby complained as she changed out of costume, the phone on speaker. She was in her trailer. Emily was waiting in the car.

‘This is fame. You don’t like it, you should have been a plumber. But you’re not a plumber. You’re a C-lister who’s about to make the jump to A-list. Because people are talking about you. That’s the other reason I don’t want you doing interviews. The less you talk, the more people wanna know. We’re tantalising them. I mean, look at the traction that last post got’ Denise said, referring to a photo of Ruby with Emily on the set, both with a copy of the latest Wolfwater Creek script, Ruby apparently running lines with the wife. ‘People love you two.’

‘I don’t care’ Ruby said.

‘It’s a compliment. Take it.’

‘You’re complimenting yourself’ Ruby told her flatly.

‘How did you arrive at that conclusion, might I ask?’ Denise enquired, sounding like she was opening mail.

‘Because all this was your idea.’

‘Yes, and you’ve got to admit, it was good.’

Ruby relaxed. It was easier knowing her mom wasn’t really trying to say something nice to her. She was a lot more comfortable listening to Denise blowing smoke up her own ass. That was the standard. Denise talked herself up and Ruby mocked her. It was how they dealt with each other.

‘It’s not a good idea until it works’ Ruby said.

‘It is working. I talked to Barry. Or, his assistant, anyway. And she said that Barry knew about your marriage, mentioned it.’

‘And…’

‘That’s it. He knows.’

‘So?’

‘You don’t see it, do you? You’re at the front of his mind for the movie. He can see your mass appeal.’

‘I think you might be letting your imagination run away with you. Because all I just heard was that Barry’s assistant thinks she heard him mention it.’

‘You wait and see. I’m right’ Denise said with confidence.

‘Sure, Mom. You’re always right’ Ruby said. She actually meant it. Denise was always right. It was just that the things she was right about happened to be horrible. Manipulation and mind games, it was Denise’s stock and trade.

‘I know. And did you see that thing on Buzzfeed?’

‘Is it up?’ Ruby asked.

‘Jesus, Ruby. Google yourself once in a while, you might learn something. It’s being shared all over the place. ‘Ruby Knight Marries Mystery Girl.’ They’re eating it up.

‘I’ll look later. Anyway, gotta go’ Ruby lied.

‘Look, I want to take you two out to dinner tonight’ Denise said. ‘At that place, you know the one.’

Ruby had no idea what place, but she could infer from the context that it was exclusive. Denise liked exclusive.

‘No thanks’ Ruby said automatically. ‘I’ve got twelve pages to learn for tomorrow. They sprung an entirely new scene on me.’

‘Don’t be short-sighted. This is for the movie deal.’

‘I know it is. You think I thought you wanted to take us out to dinner for any other reason?’

There was a pause. ‘OK, so I can tell Chad to book for three?’

‘I just said no.’

‘Ruby, don’t be difficult’ Denise growled.

Ruby sighed. ‘Can we do it tomorrow?’

‘No. Chad will text you the details.’

Denise hung up. It was an old trick of hers, to have the last word and leave. That way, if you wanted to keep arguing, you had to call back. And if you didn’t have the energy, which Ruby frequently didn’t, Denise won by default.

So they were going to dinner. Her and Denise and Emily. Fun.

***

‘What? Why?’ Emily asked.

‘I don’t know. I got the impression she’s got something up her sleeve.’

‘But…’ Emily began.

‘What?’ Ruby asked.

‘Your mum scares me’ Emily admitted.

‘Get in line’ Ruby told her wryly. But she did sympathise. ‘Look, if you want me to cancel, I will’ Ruby said, truthfully. There’ll be hell to pay but…

‘I can’t say that, can I? She’s basically my boss’ Emily muttered.

‘You shouldn’t see it that way’ Ruby said.

‘But that’s the way it is. This was her idea. She says jump, I say how high and can I do anything else while I’m up?’

Ruby bit her lip. Emily wasn’t completely wrong about this. Her Machiavellian mother was the shot caller, however Ruby tried not to see it like that.

Still, Ruby didn’t want Emily to feel the fear that had lived inside her for her whole life. ‘We could make it quick. No appetisers. No dessert. We order an entrée, we bolt it and we run. Thirty minutes or less.’

Emily nodded, relieved. ‘That… That would be better.’

Ruby smiled down at Emily. ‘Good. It’s a plan.’

Emily smiled back, and Ruby felt her own grow wider. And then she felt the smile go on a bit long. ‘OK, so!’ she said too loudly. ‘I better get ready.’

Emily’s face fell. ‘Wait, this place is going to be fancy, isn’t it? I don’t have any clothes like that with me.’

‘So borrow something of mine.’

Emily laughed without reserve. ‘Your clothes will not fit me, Ruby. I think we can be honest about that’ Emily said plainly.

Ruby raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you saying I’m skinny?’

‘I’m saying I’m not’ Emily said.

‘You’re not exactly big, either.’

‘But still…’

‘Look, I didn’t always have to be this ripped, only since the show. That was when my mom started talking about unforgiving HD was. I’m sure I have something that’s not meant to make me look like I’ve never eaten bread.’

Emily smiled. ‘Alright, let’s see what I can squeeze myself into.’

***

Ruby held up the red, silk dress. ‘There you go, that’ll do it.’

Emily took the dress and caressed the soft fabric. ‘Wow.’

‘You like it?’ Ruby asked.

‘I do. I mean, I’m not sure I can pull it off but I’ll give it a go.’ Emily ran off with the dress and Ruby looked at her phone while sitting on the edge of her bed. A moment later, Emily walked back into Ruby’s bedroom. ‘What do you think?’ she asked anxiously. ‘Do I look like mutton dressed as lamb?’ Ruby almost dropped her phone at the impact of the costume change. It was something that had hung in the back of Ruby’s wardrobe for eternity, forgotten. But it looked fresh and stunning on Emily. It fitted her beautifully, making Emily’s curves pop. Out and in and out again, she was a damn hourglass. Ruby suddenly wondered why everyone was so obsessed with getting rid of any spare inch of fat on themselves. Because no one in Hollywood could rock this dress the way Emily did.

Some moments after Emily had appeared in the dress, Ruby remembered to speak. ‘You look… Nice.’

‘You sure? You looked like you were trying to figure out how to tell me I looked ridiculous’ Emily joked.

That had not been what Ruby had been thinking. But what she had been thinking was not to be said. ‘No. Really. It’s perfect.’

A flush touched Emily’s cheeks, nearly matching the dress. ‘Well, that’s that then.’

Ruby nodded. ‘Yeah. That’s that.’

‘Well, I better leave you alone to get changed yourself.’

Ruby checked the time on her phone. ‘Shit, you’re right.’

Emily left, and Ruby went back to her wardrobe. As she looked at the outfits, she realised just how badly she wanted to look nice. And not for her mother.

Fifteen

Emily waited for Ruby in the living room, standing straight as an arrow. She didn’t dare sit. The dress would crease. She was surprised at how good she felt in it. However, it was a bit daring for her and as time ticked on she wondered whether Ruby’s ‘nice’ comment was just said out of kindness. Maybe the dress was a bit much?

But then Ruby walked out in her own outfit. A black number, sheer and graceful, showcasing her elegant length, those endless legs. Emily forgot about her own appearance. ‘Oh!’ she exclaimed.

‘And what exactly is Oh British for?’ Ruby asked with a grin.

‘It means you look, um, fine’ Emily stuttered. ‘Nice. Alright, shall we go?’ she asked desperately. Standing here looking at Ruby – looking like that - she could feel something stupid trying to get out of her mouth. She didn’t know what form it would take exactly, but she could sense it would be accompanied by regret and embarrassment. She needed to get the hell out of this flat, where she could say something unguarded. If she were around people, she could say anything nice she liked, and Ruby would assume it was part of the act, so it was safe. She could say, ‘You look like sex on a stick’ and Ruby wouldn’t think twice. If she were the type of person to say things like that. Which she wasn’t. Unless she kept standing here. ‘We don’t wanna be late for your mum, or she might dock my pay’ Emily said, trying to joke her way out.

Ruby look surprised but checked her watch. ‘I guess traffic at this time might be bad, sure.’

***

Emily looked at the wine list and she didn’t have the first clue. What she drank cost less than a fiver and came from Sainsburys.

Across from her, Ruby and her mother were looking too. They didn’t seem conflicted. Emily felt sure she was about to choose something that would make a fool of her in front of Ruby, that ever-widening class gap making its regular appearance. This place was swish. The prices were horrifying, but Denise was paying, according to Ruby. Thank god because Emily would have gone into her overdraft just ordering a starter. But that was apparently the price you paid to sit two tables over from people who you thought you might, possibly, sort of know from somewhere.

The waiter came over, she knew the moment was here. And then Ruby said, ‘Mom, you know what you like, just order a bottle of whatever.’ Denise smiled, satisfied, and said something Frenchy sounding.

Ruby leaned in to Emily. ‘I don’t know jack about wine.’

Emily smiled, relieved. ‘No?’

‘I bet you Brits all know about that shit, don’t you?’

Emily chortled. ‘Yeah, it’s on the syllabus. Right after horse dressage.’

Ruby snorted. It was close to being a nice moment. But then Denise muttered under her breath, ‘Very good, girls. Very believable. Keep it up.’ It killed the moment stone dead.

Later, after main courses had been served up – chicken for Emily, fish for Denise, the usual salad for Ruby – they began to eat in silence. Emily kept wondering what they were doing. Denise didn’t strike her as someone who did anything without reason.

She was right. Three bites into her meal, the reason was revealed.

‘Barry?’ Denise suddenly said and Emily looked up to see a well-dressed man with very good hair plugs being seated at the next table with a woman about thirty years his junior and around the same number of pounds lighter. Barry smiled slickly and said, ‘Denise!’

Denise stood and kissed him on the cheek. They burbled the usual inane greetings, Denise all the while acting like she was very surprised. But then Ruby muttered, ‘The studio head’ with an eyeroll. This was the decision maker on Ruby’s career, and the three of them had been sat at an adjacent table. Emily wondered how Denise had set this up. How did she know this guy’s schedule, down to the table he’d be sat at? It was nearly impressive. If it wasn’t insanely calculating.

After they’d done all the ‘How are you’ stuff, Denise turned to the table and said, ‘I was just having dinner with my daughter and her new wife. Have you met Emily?’

‘Don’t believe I’ve had that pleasure’ Barry said, shaking Emily’s hand.

‘Hello’ Emily said quietly.

Barry introduced his young guest; her name was Mara and she was a practicer of contouring. Emily could get absolutely no sense of her actual face.

‘You guys… You guys wouldn’t want to join us, would you?’ Denise asked.

Barry considered and said, ‘Why not?’

Emily glanced at Ruby to see her rub her temple with her eyes closed. She knew what was happening and she hated it. Emily wasn’t thrilled herself. it was one thing to Instagram a few photos. But this? It was a job interview. And she was as much up for assessment as Ruby was.

Once everyone was sat, Barry put in a quick order for his meal (Mara was fasting and asked for water with lemon juice and cayenne pepper, which was an astonishing order to Emily, but the waiter didn’t blink), and him and Denise got to chatting like old friends.

Soon enough, Denise steered the conversation to Ruby. ‘Of course, Ruby should be on her honeymoon right now, but she’s got work, so I wanted to take the girls out to celebrate. Ruby works so hard, you know. She’d be home right now learning lines if I didn’t force her out.’

‘Oh, that’s right. You guys just got married, didn’t you?’ Barry said, taking his cue like a good puppet.

Ruby nodded. Denise looked like she wanted more but she wasn’t getting it, not from Ruby, ‘Yes, just this week. Vegas. I asked for a big wedding so I could play mother of the bride but this one wanted something private, quiet.’

‘And cheap’ Ruby added with an easy smile.

Denise laughed a bit too loudly at that. ‘She’s kidding, of course. We could have gone big if we’d wanted.’

‘Nothing wrong with a cheap wedding. If I’d had the benefit of hindsight, I wouldn’t have spent a cool mil on a wedding to someone who would divorce me four years later’ Barry said with an easy chuckle.

Denise laughed. Emily hadn’t realised it was a joke - tossing terms around like a ‘cool mil’ had grabbed her attention, she didn’t know people with anything approaching a ‘mil’, and certainly not a cool one for a one-day event – but she added her laughter to the table, as directed by Denise’s eyes. She looked to see if Ruby was feigning laughter. She was not. It made Emily wish she hadn’t.

Denise, sensing what a social washout her daughter was determined to be, turned the spotlight on Emily. ‘Emily, tell Barry about how you guys met.’ She turned to Barry, ‘It’s so cute, you’ll die.’

Emily’s heart just about stopped. Denise had just demanded an improvised story with charm and romance. Emily didn’t know if she could generate such a thing. Then she remembered Ruby’s story, about the flight. She just hoped it was enough. She wasn’t a natural story-teller, she preferred to read them then tell them. But she had no choice. Denise had decreed.

‘Well, I was at… Heathrow. I was flying to, err… New York… To visit a friend. And I was in the departure lounge and…’

‘Babe, let me tell this part’ Ruby suddenly piped up, enlivening suddenly. Emily looked to Ruby with such incredible gratitude that she hoped wasn’t obvious. But Ruby looked back like it was nothing. Emily supposed to her, it wasn’t. She was a performer.

‘So, yeah, we’re waiting for the same flight. I’m sitting at one end of the lounge, her at the other. I’m coming back from a thing in the UK, shooting a part in some period thing and it was a rough shoot, pouring rain.’

‘Oh, when’s the release?’ Barry asked.

‘It’s kinda stuck in post at the moment’ Ruby said smoothly. ‘No distributer either.’

Emily realised later than she should that there was no movie.

‘But the script was good’ Ruby went on. ‘And I love England. But the weather…’ She cast a look to Emily.

Emily nodded. ‘No arguments here.’

Ruby smiled for the assist. ‘So anyway, I’m tired, coming down with a cold. Sneezing, coughing, generally acting like I’ve got the plague.’

Barry laughed. Denise laughed. Emily laughed. Mara went, ‘Gross.’

Ruby ignored Mara, continuing. ‘So I’m generally feeling very sorry for myself when someone says…’ Here Ruby went into a perfect English accent, ‘Do you need a tissue?’ And I look up…’ Ruby stopped as though remembering the moment. Emily found she was on a knife edge, waiting to see how Ruby described this fabricated moment of their meeting. ‘I look up and there she is’ Ruby said, breaking into a beautiful smile, directing it right at Emily. Emily was overwhelmed by it. Ruby held out a hand and Emily realised she was supposed to take it and she did. The touch was soft. Emily expected it to end quickly, but Ruby held on tight. ‘She was beautiful. And I was coughing a lung up. But the second I see her, I just… Stop. Like she cured me.’

Emily blushed, deep. Beautiful, that was Ruby’s word. It astonished her.

‘So I take the tissue and I say thanks… And then I’ve got nothing.’ Ruby shook her head, as though remembering her own exasperation. ‘But I have to talk to her, right? She’s got a look that can stop a cold in its tracks. Magical. But she’s gone and I don’t know what the hell to do. What am I gonna do, run up and say, ‘Can I buy you a drink?’

‘That usually works’ Barry interjected.

‘Yeah, but I just felt like this girl, she wasn’t gonna go for any Yank player bullshit. She’s something else, you know what I’m talking about?’ Ruby asked Barry.

‘Yeah. I think so’ Barry nodded, as though remembering some long-ago magical girl from his own life. Emily could see she had him. Denise saw it too.

‘So I’m trying to figure out how to start a conversation and then the goddamn flight is announced. We’re boarding. Now, I have no clue where she’s seated but I can’t leave it to chance that it’ll be anywhere near her. So…’ Ruby almost blushed at this point and Emily wondered how she didn’t have an Oscar already. ‘My first thought is to go up to the desk and, you know, just straight up ask where Emily’s sitting. But I don’t know her name and the airport security are not gonna tell me that, never mind where she’s sitting.’

‘Do that at JFK, it’s a one-way ticket to a rubber glove up your ass’ Barry quipped.

‘Exactly. And I don’t wanna take the chance Heathrow has a similar policy’ Ruby agreed with a small laugh. ‘So my group is boarding. But Emily doesn’t get in line. So I wait. Evenutally, after half the lounge is boarded, I see Emily get in line and I get behind her, but a few people back. I follow her to check in and I hear her say she’s in economy.’

Emily gave an embarrassed little shrug. ‘It’s what I can afford.’

‘No shame in flying economy’ Barry winked. Emily appreciated his kindness.’

‘But I’m in first’ Ruby said. ‘Booked by the production. Which is nice but also screwing me with getting anywhere near Emily. So… This is where I kinda got… OK, the next part is... Like I’m kind of a creepy stalker’ she says with a glance to Emily.

Emily looked back at her and mouthed the word, ‘Never’. It just came naturally. But then she happened to chance a look at Denise. She saw a facial expression she didn’t understand or like. Intense scrutiny, only there a moment and then gone. Emily thought she must have imagined it.

But Ruby didn’t notice Denise, she was still in full flow. ‘So I ask to downgrade my ticket. The woman’s like, ‘Madam, I can’t give you a refund.’ And I’m like, ‘I don’t need one. I just wanna sit in coach.’ She looks at me like I’m fucking nuts.’

The table laughed harder now. Emily was entranced. She’d forgotten two things about this story. One, she was in it. Two, it didn’t happen. But Ruby had her spellbound.

‘So the woman’s iffy and I think I’m about to be put on the no-fly list, but in the end, she has a few seats open in coach so she switches me.’

‘But coach is big, how did you know you’d be put near her?’ Barry asked.

‘I didn’t think I would be. And I wasn’t. I was like eight rows away. But after the flight takes off, I’m in a position to spot where she actually is. So I wait until I see her get up to use the bathroom and then I go up to her seat mate and… I offer him three hundred and fifty-eight bucks to swap.’

‘Why that number?’ Barry asked.

‘It was all I had in cash. I’d have paid more, but I was pretty sure this guy was not about to take a check from a stranger. Luckily, the cash was enough.’

‘So you were waiting for her when she came back?’

‘Yep’ Ruby grinned.

‘How did you explain it?’ Barry asked, amused.

‘I told her I’d been sitting near the door and her old seat mate had a fear of flying and asked if I’d swap with him. He wanted to be first down the ramp if we crashed.’

Barry laughed and slapped his knee. ‘Christ! Did she buy it?’

‘Of course I did’ Emily said without thinking. ‘She was gorgeous. I didn’t think for a minute she’d do any of that for me. I just thanked my lucky stars she was sitting next to me.’

‘You noticed her too?’ Barry asked Emily.

‘How do you not notice this person’ Emily said honestly, with a nod toward Ruby. ‘I noticed her in the lounge. That’s why I was ready with a tissue. The trouble was, after she’d taken it, I really didn’t know what to say. Plus, she looked so sickly, I didn’t want to bother her.’

Ruby gave a small grin that anyone else at the table would take as a reaction to Emily’s statement. But Emily had a feeling that she’d just pleasantly surprised Ruby. As well as herself.

‘So you guys just hit it off?’ Barry pressed.

‘Yeah. We talked basically the entire eight-hour flight. It was insane’ Ruby said. And by the time we landed…’ She gripped Emily’s hand a little tighter. ‘…I was in love.’

Emily added, ‘Me too’ and as she said it, she knew what had fascinated her so much about Ruby’s story. She wished it was true.

She wished she had genuinely captivated Ruby, not just caught her attention when she was bored. She wished it had lasted, for a lot more than a few hours. She wished she had lived this romantic story, not just listened to it.

She knew right then that she wished she and Ruby really were in love. She wished their wedding was the beginning of their story, and not the end.

But then she looked at Denise, stealing little glances at Barry, so happy with how it was all going, her schemes and plans coming to fruition beautifully. It was a stark reminder of just what a lie all this was. The story Ruby told wasn’t just a lovely piece of fiction, it was a con job, intended to prize a contract out of this man who sat lapping it up, this clearly cynical studio head who had a trophy girlfriend, selected not for love, but for sex. And that man had begun to believe again, for one small moment, in true love.

The thought made Emily sick to her stomach. Sick with the lie, sick with the truth, sick with herself. There was no love here.

‘Excuse me’ Emily said suddenly, dropping Ruby’s hand and standing up. She didn’t wait to see reactions to her abrupt departure, she was almost running.

In the bathroom, which was nicer - not to mention bigger - than her flat at home, she found an attendant waiting. ‘Umm… I have diarrhoea!’ she explained as she ran past the woman, into the toilet. She needed to be alone. She needed to figure out what the hell she was doing with Ruby. Because she didn’t feel like she was playing anymore.

Sixteen

Ruby didn’t understand what had happened. She just knew that Emily had gotten up from the table, upset. No one else appeared to notice. Not Barry, not her mother, certainly not Mara, who was probably about ten minutes from passing out from self-inflicted starvation.

It was funny, the problem seemed to come right off the back of Ruby finishing her little concocted tale of love-at-first-sneeze. Ruby hadn’t meant to get so involved with it. As soon as Barry had showed up, she’d sworn to herself she wasn’t going to play this dumb-ass game her mother was trying to rig.

But then Denise had tossed the mic to Emily and Ruby had known right away what Denise would never understand. Lying did not come naturally to Emily. She couldn’t just generate bullshit on demand. She was flailing, scared. So Ruby had overturned her initial policy and thrown Emily the only life raft she had to hand, an improvised performance. Luckily, it had always been a strength. She’d once saved a high-school play after one of her co-stars fell off the stage, incorporating it into the story so skilfully that people thought it was intended. So she told Barry the story that she’d had the seeds of, adding colour as she went along, finding new details to embroider.

And then something so fucking stupid happened. She started buying her own crap.

Her mistake was that rather than simply telling a tale, she’d begun to dig out some silly romantic daydream, which felt more real with every word, truer with each sentence. And once she’d started, she felt unable to stop, speeding toward the conclusion like a burning car wreck, brakes off, rolling down a hill toward traffic, disaster inevitable.

Taking Emily’s hand had been the awful turning point. She knew when she held Emily’s hand that when the story was over, the night, the scheme, she would never get to hold that hand again. And she wanted to hold it. She wanted to hold it for a long time.

That last line, ‘And by the time we landed, I knew I was in love’ was the moment of impact. Because it was true, in essence. It was new to her, yet somehow, she knew what this feeling was. She was under Emily’s thrall, was falling. Headfirst. She looked at her sort-of fake bride and Emily looked back at her and she knew one thing. She was fucked.

And now she was sat alone with her monstrous mother and the man she was working and the only person who should have been next to her had run off.

‘So…’ Barry said, and Ruby’s attention was pulled back to the table, away from the direction Emily had run. ‘I was thinking, maybe we could talk about the movie?’

Ruby said, ‘What movie?’ and she really didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. But then her mother gave a shrieking laugh. ‘Oh, she’s such a joker. She knows what movie, don’t you?’

Ruby blinked. ‘Of course. Kidding.’

Barry smiled. ‘We’re obviously still deliberating but say we were to go with you... It’s a big movie, physically demanding. And you’d be in a lot of demand, from the studio, from the press, from fans. It’s another level. How do you feel about that?’

‘She’s ready for the challenge’ Denise said quickly.

‘That’s great’ Barry said to Denise. ‘But maybe I could hear it from her?’

‘Of course’ Denise said. Barry looked to Ruby expectantly. ‘Tell him, honey’ Denise prompted.

Ruby knew she was ninety percent of the way through this tortuous evening. All she had to do now was walk it home, give Barry the selling spiel. He was willing to be talked round, she could see it.

Ruby’s mouth opened but instead of a list of reasons why she was the woman for the job, she said, ‘I gotta check on Emily. Sorry’ and she stood and left the table. She didn’t dare look at Denise as she left.

In the toilet, she found an attendant and a bunch of locked doors. ‘Emily, you in here?’ The toilet attendant gave Ruby a look that she ignored.

She started knocking on doors. ‘Hey, occupied!’ said the first one irritably, a very not-Emily American.

A couple more rejections came before Ruby knocked on a locked door to get no reply. She knew that she had the right door. ‘Emily?’ she asked.

‘What?’ came the eventual disgruntled, British accented reply.

‘You… You OK?’

‘Fine’ said the door.

Ruby didn’t know what to say then. Because she wasn’t the dynamic problem-solver she’d depicted herself to be in her story, not by a long sight. That smooth-talking romance wizard wasn’t here. This was who she was really, a woman waiting outside a toilet, feeling awkward, out of her depth.

The door suddenly opened, and Emily stood expectantly. ‘Where’s the fire?’

‘No fire. You just…’

‘I just what?’

Ruby couldn’t say how she felt, nor could she ask Emily what was really wrong with her. She didn’t have the right to do so either. So she fell back on what was comfortable. Defensiveness and sarcasm.

Ruby glanced at the toilet attendant, watching them carefully and she rolled her eyes, pushing into the cubicle. ‘Look’ she said in a low tone. ‘You’re being weird.’

‘How so?’ Emily asked in surprised irritation as Ruby locked the door behind her.

‘I was nailing it out there’ Ruby said, feeling like an asshole. This wasn’t what she wanted to say. She wanted to say, ‘Let’s stop this. I don’t want to fake it. I want you. For real.’

But what she said instead was, ‘I had Barry in the palm of my hand, and you made it weird by running off like that. What’s the matter, did you get your period or something?’

Emily’s mouth fell open. She was livid. ‘You don’t have the right to talk to me like that.’

‘I don’t?’ Ruby asked insolently.

‘No. You don’t own me, you know’ Emily spat.

‘No. But I am renting you’ Ruby’s dumb mouth said before she could stop it. She always did this. A smart remark could never be held off. No matter the price. She did this with her mother all the time and now she was doing it with Emily. All she wanted to do was kiss Emily and she was pushing her further away.

‘Oh, is that right?’ Emily asked in shocked anger.

‘Yes. You made an agreement. We both did.’

‘Right. I’m your ‘Wife’. You get to hold my hand, touch my waist, kiss my cheek and you get three kisses on the mouth’ Emily recited furiously.

‘R… Right’ Ruby stuttered. She was suddenly scared. Emily, always quite demure, looked ready for a fight. Her pale skin was flush, her eyes blazing. It nearly made Ruby turn-tale and run.

‘So take what you bought’ Emily spat, and grabbed ahold of Ruby’s face, pushing her lips up against Ruby’s, an angry, forceful kiss. Ruby felt herself being shoved up against the cubicle wall, which was lucky because her knees about buckled from the kiss, which didn’t feel like anything they’d discussed. It was something else altogether, passionate, crazy, erotic. Ruby’s hands grabbed Emily’s waist and she pulled her body close. As Emily’s tongue pushed deep into her mouth, she moaned, falling headfirst into the kiss…

And then, as quick as it started, Emily suddenly pulled back. ‘That’s one’ she said, straightened her dress and walked out of the toilet. Ruby was left looking at the empty space where Emily had been, her body thrumming, her legs weak, her lips ablaze. ‘What the fuck?’ she muttered to herself, baffled, angry and so very turned on.

Seventeen

Emily walked out of the toilet with the stride of a queen. She didn’t know what had possessed her to do what she’d just done. But whatever part of herself it had been, she couldn’t say she hated it.

As she walked past the toilet attendant, who had definitely seen Ruby go into the toilet with her and maybe even heard a thing or two from inside the paper-thin cubicles, she gave her a wink. The woman winked back.

Emily headed out and sat back at the table. Ruby had still not appeared. She wondered what was keeping her. The smacker she’d just laid on her could not have been so powerful as to make her pass out. Probably.

Denise and Barry looked at her expectantly. ‘What happened to Ruby?’ Denise asked.

‘What?’ Emily asked.

‘She went to check on you.’

‘Oh. Yes. I think she’s just freshening up.’

Ruby sat down a moment later, but Emily didn’t look at her. She just went back to her chicken.

‘Everything OK?’ Barry asked.

‘Great’ Ruby replied.

Emily chanced a look at her. She was very flushed in the face.

‘So, Barry, you wanted to talk about the movie?’ Ruby asked with a touch of wild desperation.

Barry coughed. ‘You know what, it can wait.’

Emily looked at Denise and saw her jaw tighten. ‘You sure, Barry? I think now’s probably as good a time as any.’

‘Me and Mara need to go’ Barry explained. ‘We’ve got plans.’

‘I see’ Denise said. ‘Well, perhaps we can come in and talk to you at the studio.’

‘Sure. Call my assistant, we’ll set something up.’ With that he was up, saying, ‘Great to see you and congrats again to the newlyweds.’ Poof, he was gone.

Denise’s rictus grin fell away with breath-taking speed. ‘What in the fuck happened there?’

Emily didn’t answer. She looked to Ruby. Ruby rolled her eyes and looked at her mother. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, we had him. He was on the line. And you threw him back!’

Ruby picked up a salad leaf. ‘We’ll get another chance. He said so.’

‘Unless that was a kiss off. Because he was offended that you left the table when he was trying to talk to you.’

Ruby gave a world-weary sigh. ‘Look, mom, I’m tired. Can you berate me tomorrow?’

Denise grabbed a waiter by the arm, said, ‘Check’ and then looked at Ruby, disappointed. ‘Well, you’re no good to me now, so I guess you can go.’

Ruby stood, leaving half her salad. ‘Come on’ she said to Emily. Emily shoved the last part of her chicken in her mouth as she stood, saying, ‘Nice to see you again, Mrs Knight’ with her mouth full.

‘It’s Ms’ Denise said, getting her purse out to deal with the bill, already disinterested.

Emily and Ruby walked out to the car in thick silence. Emily didn’t mind. For the first time in a while, she felt like she’d taken some control. She was content to ride that moment as far as she was able. It turned out that was about five minutes into the car journey. ‘So. We gonna talk about it or what?’ Ruby asked.

‘Talk about what?’ Emily muttered, though she knew damn well.

‘I’m not playing around anymore, Emily’ Ruby said firmly.

‘Were you playing around before?’ Emily asked.

Ruby gave a short, frustrated groan. ‘Did I do something to you?’

‘Like what?’

‘You tell me. But you’re being… You’re not being you.’

‘You don’t know who me is. You’ve known me about a week’ Emily informed her.

‘So you’re the kind of person who slams people against toilet walls and makes out with them hard before storming out? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?’ Ruby demanded.

Emily enjoyed hearing it put like that. ‘You told me I was rented, remember. I was just giving you what you paid for.’

Ruby put a turn signal on and pulled sharply off the road, parking up on a small dark suburban street. A dog barked, a baby cried. It was all very cosy on the street. Not so much in the car. ‘That’s NOT what I wanted’ Ruby said, unclipping her belt and turning to face Emily fully.

‘No? Are you saying you wish I hadn’t done that?’ Emily asked.

Ruby’s face was aflame and for a moment, Emily was sure she was going to say she did wish that, that Emily had crossed a line. But after she looked at Emily for a few blazing moments, she said, ‘Yes. I did want you to do it. Alright? You got me hot. You win.’

‘I win?’ Emily exploded. ‘You think any of this is winning? I got drunk in Vegas and married a stranger who then ditched me and now I have to play pretend wife with that person so they can get their dream job!’

‘That’s what’s sticking in your craw, still? That I left?’ Ruby asked.

‘Yes’ Emily said tightly. ‘It was hurtful.’

‘So that’s why you kissed me. For revenge’ Ruby said to herself.

Emily wanted to tell her, ‘No! Not for revenge. I fucking liked you and I still do and it’s killing me to keep trying to fake something I’m starting to actually feel!’ But she didn’t say that. She wouldn’t give Ruby the satisfaction. She said instead, ‘Yes. Revenge.’ And she turned from Ruby to look out at the dark night.

Ruby started the car.

Eighteen

On the drive home, Ruby was fairly boiling with rage. Her hands were gripping the steering wheel all the way back like it was a neck she was trying to strangle.

But it wasn’t just rage. She was angry, sure. She didn’t like that Emily had kissed her to punish her. It was fucked up, but worse, effective. She’d never felt so pent up and confused in her life. Half of her wanted to scream at Emily. But the other half… The other half wanted to make Emily scream. In other ways. It was perplexing, frustrating, stupid. She hated feeling this way.

Ruby let them both into her place and then she slammed into the kitchen. She did something she never did. She started washing dishes. Angry scrubbing of plates, crashing them onto the rack. She had a dishwasher, she didn’t know what the hell she was doing this for, but her hands needed occupation. If she didn’t do this, she didn’t know what else she might do.

Once it was done, she looked at the rack full of dishes. She’d done a terrible job. There were still bits of food stuck to the plates. She was thrilled. She took them back out and did them again. This time, when she was done, those fucking plates gleamed.

But she felt no less pent up. She had to do something else or go crazy. She went to her room, walking past Emily who was sat on the sofa. Ruby didn’t look at her. It took everything she had, but she managed it. She went into her room and grabbed some workout clothes, getting out of her dress, leaving it on the floor. Once she was in lycra, she slammed back out into the living room.

Emily did a double take. ‘Where are you going?’ She asked.

‘Gym’ Ruby told her flatly.

‘It’s ten at night’ Emily said primly.

‘What’s your point?’ Ruby asked.

‘Is it even open?’

‘It’s open twenty-four seven’ Ruby told her.

‘Oh. My gym at home closes at eight’ Emily said.

‘Welcome to LA’ Ruby said and headed for the door. She heard Emily get up but she didn’t stop. At the door, she felt a hand on her arm. ‘Wait.’

Ruby rounded on Emily. ‘For what?’

‘What the hell are we doing?’ Emily asked, and she didn’t look so tough anymore. She looked appealingly delicate again.

‘Look, I’m sorry, I have to go’ Ruby told her. ‘I can’t be around you right now.’

‘Why not?’ Emily asked.

‘Because of what you did.’

Emily looked down. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me. You’re right, I’m feeling a bit… Not myself.’

Ruby didn’t know what to say to that, so she said nothing.

‘Look’ Emily went on, ‘I realise that wasn’t… It’s not what we talked about. I won’t do it again. Not like that.’

Funnily enough, that wasn’t really what Ruby wanted to hear. She wanted to hear that Emily had meant the kiss, that it came from real passion. But she wasn’t going to get that, she knew. Because Emily was right, she’d blown her real and true shot right at the start, by walking out on Emily in Vegas. All they had left was this. A contract. Ruby thought she’d better use those last two kisses very wisely because once they were gone, they were gone. She inhaled deeply through her nose and said, ‘Alright, fine.’

‘So, we’re alright?’

‘I guess. Look, I’ll be back in a few hours. You should take the bed tonight, I’ll take the couch.’

‘You’re still going to the gym?’

‘Yeah. I need to work out anyway.’

Emily looked disappointed. ‘OK. Well, enjoy.’

Ruby nodded and let herself out.

***

The treadmill was on twelve, an incline of ten. It had been on those settings for twenty minutes and Ruby was starting to flag. She was thrilled by the exhaustion that was taking her body. She needed it. She needed to stop feeling like this, like her body was on fire for Emily. It was pointless. But the tiredness had arrived at last, along with endorphins. She could stop.

However, as she climbed off the treadmill, she wondered if tiring her body out was going to cut it. Because there were still stupid thoughts going around her stupid brain. Flashes of what happened in that toilet cubicle. The impact of Emily’s lips and body against her own. It might take more than a few miles on a treadmill to clear that out.

Nineteen

Emily woke up in Ruby’s bed and for a second, she wasn’t sure how she’d gotten there. She’d moved from the sofa to the bed, how many ways were there for that to happen? But no, Ruby had simply offered her a one-night swap, that was all. Last night had not led to any revelatory romantic declarations. Not even simple sex.  Not that she wanted that, an empty act, sweaty and meaningless and probably very hot. No. In the end, Emily still wanted a fantasy.

She got up and went out to find Ruby had already left. There was a post-it on the bathroom mirror. ‘Went to work, you should take the day off. R.’ No kiss, Emily noted.

So she was on her own, for a day. But there was no chance she was sitting around to dwell on everything. That way, madness lay. She had to get out.

***

Hollywood was a bust. It was a dirty, hot trek through crowds of tourists to see what? Three separate people dressed as Elmo in front of Mann’s Chinese Theatre? A concrete collection of stars with the names of lots of people who were now accused of molestation? A museum that contained a waxwork of Tom Cruise that if you slapped a pair of glasses on it became a dead ringer for Billie Jean King?

It wasn’t a lot better than Vegas. Emily wondered if she was the problem. Why could she not enjoy the same nonsense as everyone else?

She would try somewhere else. There was one place that had offered a morbid attraction.

***

‘Well’ Emily muttered to herself. ‘That’s that.’

She was looking at a brick in a wall, essentially. On the brick was a plaque, and behind that lay Judy Garland. Emily had come a long way to look at this plaque in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. It hadn’t really been worth it. Her feet hurt. She hadn’t even wanted to come here, she’d wanted to see Marilyn Monroe, but that cemetery was in somewhere called Westwood, miles and miles away. This was the compromise. This walk had taken still taken forty minutes. She hadn’t realised that you couldn’t really walk anywhere in LA, you needed transport. In Oxford city centre, anywhere was walkable in twenty minutes. It was absurd. Why was any place this so damn big?

***

The franchise coffee shop was bursting at the seams. The queue was at least ten minutes long. Emily just wanted a bloody water.

She was about to turn and leave when a young woman, no more than nineteen, said, ‘Hey, I know you.’ Emily, quite sure this was not true, said, ‘Oh, no, I don’t think so.’

‘No, I do… Let me think, what is it… Oh shit! Ruby Knight’s Insta! That’s you, isn’t it?’

Emily was shocked. This was her first tangle with a member of the public. She’d sort of thought this might be avoidable. She was just a few pixels in a picture, standing next to someone who would really grab your eye. She never really believed anyone would care about her. But here she was, spotted. ‘Yes’ she admitted. ‘That’s me.’

‘I can’t believe it’ she said, turning to her friend. ‘You know how I’ve been talking about how Ruby Knight - you know, from that dumbass vampire thing - married some British hottie in Vegas and no one knows who the fuck she is and she doesn’t have any online presence and I’m totally obsessed with how cute they are? This is her!’ she enthused.

The friend peered over, a guy, a little older, moustachioed. ‘That’s you?’ he asked. He looked Emily up and down in a way she didn’t much care for. ‘Can we get a selfie with you? I’ll tag you in.’

The girl rolled her eyes. ‘Jack, I told you, she’s not on anything. You can’t tag her. No one even knows her last name.’ She turned to Emily. ‘What is your last name?’

‘It’s Bartlett’ Emily said. And then she realised her mistake. This girl might post about meeting her and she could put her full name in. And then it became searchable. Anyone that Googled her would find it. A marriage between a medium famous actress and a nobody called Emily Bartlett. Emily had thought herself somewhat safe to go home and not have this be discovered. She was just starting to realise how bloody naïve that was. The internet was an omniscient entity. Oxford was not exempt from it, despite the still abundant number of bookshops.

The girl wasn’t content with her name, though. ‘And where do you come from? You’re British, I know, but like what’s your story? How did you meet Rub-’

Emily looked at her wrist, where a watch would have been if she had one and said, ‘Oh, you know, I’m very late for… I’m late for…’ she grappled until at last a word came to mind. ‘I’m late for a… Colonoscopy.’

The girl’s eyes about popped out of their sockets. ‘Oh, wow. OK.’

Ruby ran out of the coffee shop cursing herself. She could have said anything. Dentist, hairdresser, massage. Anything but an appointment to have a small camera shoved up her bum.

But she soon forgot about that. She had to talk to Ruby, stat.

Twenty

Ruby was drained. Rock had been a royal pain in the ass all day. All she wanted was to do her job and that little needle-dick had made every scene a nightmare. He always needed so many takes because he was awful at taking direction. God only knew how he kept his job. He was good looking and not without charisma, but that could only take you so far. The director said he had a legion of rabid teenage fans so maybe that’s why they kept him. Ruby hoped he was worth his cost in production time, though she doubted it.

She just wanted to go home and get in the bath. She kind of hoped Emily might be out. She needed some time alone.

But when she walked into her living room, Emily was there, pacing a hole in the carpet. She turned at Ruby’s entrance. ‘Oh, thank god. I need to speak to you.’

‘Can it wait?’ Ruby asked, tiredly.

‘No. It really can’t’ Emily said, worked up.

Ruby forgot her bath plans. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I never wanted to be famous, you know? I know everybody wants that, but I never did. I don’t like being looked at. I was happy to sit in the stacks and read and sell people books and now all that’s screwed because I’m going to end up being known for being your wife.’

Ruby blinked. ‘You didn’t realise that might happen?’

‘No, I didn’t!’ Emily said. ‘I’ve been Googling you for the last hour and all I’ve found are pictures of you and me. In Vegas, on the set, the one that guy took at the brunch place, others people took that I didn’t even know about, they’re all over the place.’

Ruby frowned. She really didn’t want to ask the question she was about to, but she was compelled. ‘Did you not understand how the internet worked?’

‘Of course I understand how the internet works’ Emily said, exasperated. ‘But… I thought… I had myself convinced this wasn’t a big deal. But it’s going to spread, isn’t it? Little by little, it’ll be everywhere. Because one day, someone I know will see one of these snaps and recognise me and they’ll post about it and they’ll say, ‘Hey, how weird is this? This person looks exactly like our Emily Bartlett’ and someone else will see it and say, ‘That is our Emily Bartlett’ and then it will reach friends, my brother, my dad, my mum, my bloody gran will see it on her old biddy Facebook. Katie even. She’d probably have a good laugh. They’ll all find out I married you. People will talk about this weird thing I did, marrying a stranger and then getting a divorce. I’ll become known for it. I won’t be anything else. I’ll have to tell people the minute I meet them to negate the damage. Like a sex offender!’ About there, Emily ran out of breath and collapsed on the couch.

Ruby looked down at Emily and she didn’t know what to say. Because she’d never thought about any of this stuff. She’d been too consumed with the effects of all this on her own life. She’d never stopped to think about the consequences for Emily. Now she did and she was guilt-ridden. Why had it not occurred to her before this moment that where she stood to gain, Emily could really only lose? Money, even a large amount, would not solve Emily’s future crappy celebrity. She felt like she’d cursed Emily to share the shittiest part of her own life.

Ruby sat down on the couch next to Emily. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Why’re you sorry?’

‘Because I started this. I posted that pic.’

‘And I got drunk and married you. And I took the deal your mother offered. I can’t blame you for that, Ruby. Much as I’d love to’ Emily said, putting her head in her hands.

‘No, you should. I bought that vodka, remember? That was where the shit started to hit the fan.’

‘And I drank it willingly. Because I was having a good time.’

‘But I chatted you up’ Ruby reminded her.

Emily blushed and then admitted, ‘Well, I was checking you out.’

‘You were?’ Ruby asked, jolted. She’d caught her staring, but she’d thought it was the fame thing. She’d never actually asked herself why this whole thing had started. She’d thought from the minute they met that she’d talked her way into Emily’s attention.

‘Obviously’ Emily said, eyebrows in her fringe. ‘What did you think I was doing?’

‘I forgot to ask. I was too busy being a smart ass if you recall.’

‘I recall it all’ Emily said. ‘Well, up until the shots.’

That cast a shadow over Ruby. ‘I can’t believe I got married while I was black-out drunk’ Ruby frowned.

‘I know. It’s funny, I was engaged for years to Katie. We never even set a date.’

‘And then you go and marry some schmuck after a few hours’ Ruby said.

‘You’re not a… A schmuck’ Emily said, awkwardly. Ruby laughed.

‘Are you laughing at me?’ Emily asked.

‘Yeah. Sorry.’

‘Please, laugh. God knows we could do with a light moment.’

‘I’m in the loop on this shit-show?’ Ruby asked.

‘Of course you are. I’ve met your mum, don’t forget’ Emily said and then put a hand to her lips, ‘Oh Christ, cardinal rule, never criticise someone else’s family.’

But Ruby didn’t mind. It was actually nice to hear someone tell the truth about Denise. Most people were too scared of her to say a bad word. ‘Please, criticise all you want. Does my heart good to hear it.’

‘Really?’

‘Sure. Makes me feel less alone’ Ruby confessed, slumping deeper into the couch.

‘Have you considered giving her the sack?’

‘Actually, no. The fucker of it is, she’s good at her job’ Ruby said, picking at a loose thread on the sofa arm.

‘Depends how you look at it’ Emily said philosophically.

‘Whaddaya mean?’ Ruby asked.

‘You know what? It’s not my business’ Emily said quickly. ‘I’m gonna shut up now.’

‘No, go on’ Ruby pleaded.

Emily paused before she said, ‘Well, it seems like maybe she’s good at being a manager. But is she good at being your manager? I mean, does she do what you want, or does she tell you what you want?’

Ruby considered the question and she almost felt her defences pop up. But something in her was tired of pretending. ‘The second one.’

‘So why do you go along with it? Why do you let her tell you what to do?’ Emily asked tenderly.

‘That’s the problem. It’s always been really hard to separate what I want from what she wants. How do you know which voice in your head is your own?’ she sighed. ‘God, that sounds pathetic-’

Emily shook her head vehemently. ‘It doesn’t at all. My voice got lost too. Katie replaced it to the extent that I didn’t know if I was doing things for her because I loved her or because I was just afraid to lose her.’ A tear slipped from her eye and she wiped it. ‘I was waiting for those tears when she left. They never came. Funny to see them now.’ More tears came and she hid her face in her hands.

Ruby didn’t quite know what to do. Her instinct was to hold Emily, tell her it was going to be alright. But despite the unexpectedly tender moment that had arisen, she still didn’t know if that was cool.

But she couldn’t watch Emily cry without doing anything. So she took a risk. She draped an arm around her. She felt Emily lean into it, almost imperceptibly. Ruby took an even greater risk. She slipped her hand up to Emily’s head, pulling her gently into her neck. Emily leaned in further. Ruby felt the moisture of Emily’s tears on her neck and they could have been her own.

After a while of sitting like that, Emily said quietly, ‘I made you a promise.’

‘What promise?’

‘That I’d never do what I did in that bathroom again.’

Ruby couldn’t see Emily’s eyes, they were hidden by her own hair. She wished she could see them, to read them. ‘Yes. You did.’

‘But you still have two kisses left. It’s up to you what you do with them’ said Emily and she looked up at Ruby. Now Ruby could see her eyes. The tears had cleared, something else was there. Want. And if one thing could be said of Ruby, she always hit her marks, always took her cues. She leaned in and pressed her lips to Emily’s. They kissed gently, nothing like before. The last kiss had been pure sex. This was something else.

‘What are we doing?’ Ruby asked between kisses. She was a little scared about what was happening, but she didn’t dare stop it.

‘Comforting each other’ Emily said.

Ruby felt herself relax. So that was what this was. That was OK. She could let herself do what she wanted as long as she had something to hide behind. As long as Emily didn’t know the truth. That Ruby craved her. She had from the start. All the ups and downs, right down at the bottom was always this.

Twenty-One

Emily couldn’t believe this was happening. She hadn’t dared wish for it. But Ruby was pulling her clothes off, guiding her to the bedroom slowly. Emily was ready to run for it, but she had to tell herself, ‘Easy, easy. Don’t let her think you’re desperate.’ But she was desperate. She’d been trying not to think about this but now it was happening, her body was racing with hormones and emotions.

In the bedroom, semi naked, Ruby pushed Emily onto her back on the bed and began to kiss her neck and she felt her eyes roll back in her head. ‘Mmm’ she murmured.

And then it stopped. Emily lifted her head. ‘Something wrong?’ she asked Ruby.

‘I just wanted to check in’ Ruby said from on top of her.

‘Did you change your mind?’ Emily asked, praying not to hear a yes to that.

‘I’m just making sure we… I think we should talk about... About what this is.’

‘Oh’ Emily said and swallowed. ‘What is it?’

‘Like, this isn’t part of… The thing. You know I know that. Right?’

‘What…’

‘I didn’t buy this, is what I’m saying.’

‘No, you didn’t buy this’ Emily told her quickly. ‘But if you like, we can… Maybe some compartmentalisation wouldn’t be the worst thing’ she said in a rush. It was clear that Ruby didn’t want to get tied into anything past the original terms of the contract. Emily supposed that was fair enough. This wasn’t love. They should treat it just the same as the agreement. ‘How about we decide this is a one off.’

Ruby bit her lip. ‘Alright. And maybe we agree that it should last a set time. It doesn’t go over an hour.’

Emily nodded. ‘And I leave your bedroom once it’s over.’

‘And everyone gets an orgasm’ Ruby added.

‘Well, I would hope that’s a given’ Emily said with a lopsided smile, sitting up on her elbows.

Ruby nodded. ‘OK, is that everything?’

‘Unless you wanted to get something down on paper’ Emily quipped. ‘Maybe get your mother’s lawyer in.’

‘I think a verbal agreement is fine’ Ruby laughed softly. ‘So, should I keep-’

‘God, yes’ Emily said and fell back. Ruby went straight back to her neck, flicking her tongue around some extraordinarily sensitive skin. Ruby removed Emily’s bra and moved her mouth down to even more sensitive areas. Emily’s moan deepened into a growl. Ruby removed Emily’s knickers, pulling them down with her teeth, which no one had ever done to Emily before and she was in heaven as Ruby pushed herself deep into the most sensitive part of all, her tongue whipping Emily into a shaking, sweaty puddle of desire. Emily grabbed ahold of the back of Ruby’s head as she hit the apex of her pleasure and she almost pulled a handful of hair out but when she looked down, Ruby was smiling up, looking quite pleased with herself. ‘Jesus’, Emily whispered, her body falling quite limp.

Ruby slipped her way back up to the head of the bed and Emily turned to look at her. She was a little dishevelled and although Ruby always looked sexy, she looked better for a few hairs out of place. Emily realised that she hadn’t taken Ruby’s clothes off yet, and the strength that had just gone out of her suddenly came back.

She climbed on top of her and set to work, pulling layers off until she was looking down at a completely naked Ruby. She thought it was the kind of sight you took to your deathbed, branded forever on a part of her brain reserved for the most beautiful things she’d ever seen. That list included a waterfall in the Brecon Beacons, a sunset seen from a boat on the Thames… And now Ruby.

Yes, Ruby worked out and yes, Ruby was careful about what she ate. But it wasn’t just that. Ruby was always so careful, always had her guard up. But now she was helpless and exposed in Emily’s hands and that was her beauty. Emily touched every part of that body she could, taking her time to explore its every curve and dimple. She felt Ruby respond to her touch with passion and fervour and Emily went further and deeper. Ruby grabbed hold of her hand and pushed it down those last crucial few centimetres and Emily was thrilled to watch Ruby as she climaxed with a light but very long moan.

A little while later, Ruby and Emily lay next to each other, naked, peaceful. They weren’t looking at each other. Emily had a million things she wanted to say but she knew she shouldn’t. Couldn’t. They’d put restrictions in place and though no one said, ‘You’re not allowed to say anything about falling for the other person’, it was an unspoken rule. So Emily wasn’t going to say anything like that, even if it was precisely what was happening to her.

How stupid, she mused. To fall in love with your own wife. Well, no, you were supposed to do that, but usually before you married them and not during a preposterous fake relationship that followed. But how the hell was she meant to have put her guard up against any of this? Her simple little life had been ripped to shreds. She had no defences. It had made it all too easy for Ruby to slip in and occupy space, with all her charm and unexpected vulnerability.

‘Hey’ Ruby said, and Emily’s head whipped around. ‘Yeah?’

‘What time is it?’

Emily raised an eyebrow. ‘You have to be at the gym again?’

Ruby laughed. ‘I got my workout, don’t worry. I was just wondering…’

‘Yes?’

‘How long was left in our hour?’

Emily grabbed her trousers from the floor at the side of the bed and ripped her phone out. ‘I think we’ve probably still got some time if…’

She never got to finish that sentence because Ruby slipped quickly on top of her, taking the phone from her hand and tossing it onto the floor, kissing her voraciously. Despite how they’d just spent the last half hour, Emily thrilled at the kiss as though it were new and they made love again, as though it were the first time.

Twenty-Two

One little hour. It wasn’t close to enough.

But the end came and when it did, Ruby was forced to let Emily go. As she watched Emily put her clothes back on, she was filled with all kinds of silly urges. She wanted to say, ‘Stay.’ She wanted to drag her back into bed. She wanted to make love to her right through the night. She wanted to hold her when it was over and tell her the truth.

But Ruby knew better than to do any of that. Because the terms were set. She’d helped set them, out of nervousness. She worried she was taking advantage, that Emily might feel pressured by the situation. She’d never want that, which was why she’d had to have that horrible conversation before things went further.

But they had gone further. Too far, probably.

Ruby sat up in bed, covering herself with a sheet, feeling suddenly embarrassed by her nudity. She supposed that was because the leash was back on. She was supposed to be all business now. Emily had been sad about her break-up and she’d wanted comfort. Ruby accepted that, did her best not to take it personally. Because she’d gotten to feel something she wasn’t expecting to get from Emily. Closeness. Even if Emily didn’t feel it.

Only now, Ruby was starting to know what she was missing. For the first time in her life, she knew the feeling of not getting enough of someone. Every relationship in her life, she’d gotten bored before or at the same time as the other person, the end always a relief. But Ruby hadn’t had enough of Emily, not even close. And she never would. Emily would no doubt see the terms of the agreement out, giving whatever was asked of her. But the other thing, the thing Ruby really wanted, wasn’t on the table.

Emily, now fully dressed, turned with a shy smile to Ruby that just about broke her heart. ‘That was… That was really nice. Thank you.’

‘Thank you?’ Ruby repeated, trying to sound light, sarcastic, Ruby-like. ‘You gonna leave a tip too?’

Emily’s smile fell. ‘Don’t do that.’

‘Do what?’ Ruby asked.

‘Just don’t’ Emily said and walked out of Ruby’s bedroom. After the door closed, she heard the sound of the bathroom light coming on, the shower running. Ruby knew what was happening, Emily wanted to rinse this hour off herself.

Ruby lay back on the bed, her hands behind her head. She was body tired, but her brain was still wired. She knew she’d just done a really fucking stupid thing. But it didn’t matter. She couldn’t take it back, no matter what pain lay ahead in the wake of it. Whatever the cost would be, she was just gonna have to suck it up and pay it.

Twenty-Three

Emily left Ruby’s bedroom in a daze. Partly from some earth-shattering sex. But mostly from some very silly emotions that had cropped up. What hurt the most was that comment Ruby had made at the end about tipping her. Ruby hadn’t needed to be so brutal. It almost made Emily wish she hadn’t initiated things. But she couldn’t help herself. They’d been so close, it was just a small step to get even closer. But she shouldn’t have done it. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Everything would just be harder now. Why couldn’t she just let this go, be what it was and cash her cheque when it was over? She was supposed to be a mayfly. A mayfly!

It was all Ruby’s fault. If she’d just let Emily cry, not touched her, Emily wouldn’t have lost her head so thoroughly. But that warm hand on her arm, pulling her in, it had felt so intimate…

After it was over, she was back on the outside. So she went for a shower, just so she could have somewhere private to feel whatever she was going to feel about all of it. As the water ran down her back she cried, for the second time that night. The first tears seemed like nothing now. The loss of Katie had proven to be for the best very quickly. Any remorse she felt about it was only for the waste of years. She’d been much more upset about the potential loss of her reputation, though even that seemed less important with Ruby’s arm around her.

But these tears wouldn’t dry so quickly. They hurt more, lasted longer.

***

The next morning, Emily was woken by one of the most abrupt texts of her life from a number she didn’t recognise.

I’m downstairs in a cab, come down.

Emily was initially confused. Who would text her that?

I’m sorry, I don’t have your number saved. Who is this? Emily asked the stranger as politely as she could.

It’s Denise, who the hell else would it be? Come down. Don’t say anything to Ruby.

Fear shot through Emily’s body. Denise wanted to talk to her, alone. She was in trouble.

***

In front of Ruby’s apartment building sat a cab. Emily leant down to the window to see Denise sitting in the back. ‘Hello’ she said nervously.

The door flew open. ‘Get in.’

‘Where are we go-’ Emily began but the look on Denise’s face was enough to stop the sentence in its tracks. She climbed in the back.

‘Driver, let’s go. It doesn’t matter where’ Denise barked at the man driving the cab. ‘And turn some music on.’

‘Yes, Ma’am’ the old guy said amiably, switching on a jazz station and pulling off down the road. Denise immediately started checking her emails on her phone. She didn’t look at Emily at all. The whole thing gave Emily the sensation of being in a mafia movie. And she was the character who got a bullet in the back of the head. ‘Err, Denise-’

Denise said, ‘Aaand send’ and finally turned to Emily. ‘OK, right, let’s get down to brass tacks.’

‘Brass tacks?’

‘Yes. You and Ruby.’

‘Are we not… Is there something else you wanted me to do? More Instagram stuff?’ Emily babbled nervously. She wished she had the wherewithal to just wait and see what Denise had to say but the woman made her nervous.

‘That’s not what I wanted to talk about’ Denise said shortly.

‘No?’

‘No.’

Denise went silent again, regarding Emily. When Emily couldn’t take it any longer, she said, ‘Look, I’m doing my best but you know, I’m not used to being around people like you. And Barry Curtis. So if I mucked up at that dinner, I’m sorry-’

Denise put a hand up, silencing Emily. ‘This is not about that. Though lord knows, you were dead fucking weight at that dinner. No, this is about you screwing me by developing stupid emotional shit for Ruby. For real.’

Emily’s mouth fell open. Her first instinct was to deny all. ‘Denise, I don’t know what you mean! I’m just doing what you told me.’

‘Save it. I saw how you looked at her the other night. I didn’t like it.’

‘I don’t know what you think you saw but I was just doing exactly what you told me to do’ Emily lied, badly.

‘No. You weren’t. You’re not that good an actor. That’s been made clear. That’s how I know that what I saw was real. And if you’re not careful, you’re going to screw Ruby’s career up with this thing.’

‘How?’ Emily asked, without thinking. So that was that, she’d admitted it.

Denise grimaced. ‘Do you know how easy it is to get dragged down by the wrong person?’

Emily decided not to answer that.

‘Ruby ever talk about her dad?’

Emily shook her head.

‘We dated through college and after we graduated, we got married, got jobs. But then he knocked me up. And he said that since I made more than him, if I wanted to keep working, he would raise our daughter. Called himself a ‘Stay-at-home-dad.’ But it was a lie, because he was still at home after she went to school and he never washed a dish, never picked up the vacuum. He’d always been lazy. I knew that when I met him, but back then it was a charming quirk of his personality. But then we were married and that can alter your view on things. Because what I could see then was that he was happy to sit on the couch while I worked to support him. Well, when Ruby turned fourteen, she wanted acting lessons. So I said maybe it might be time for him to go back to work, so Ruby could have a few extras? He said no, he’d been out of the workforce too long, no one would hire him. And you know what, I let that one go, though Christ knows, I knew it was an excuse. So I suggested we cut some expenses, so Ruby could get her classes. But he refused that too. Said we needed our cable package, the car, all the little extras; that they made a home. He tried to make me think she didn’t care that much about acting anyway, that she’d get bored of it in a month. But I knew. I knew my daughter had potential. Not like him. If he got off his ass, she could have the things she wanted. But he wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t have my daughter missing out because her father is a lazy, selfish sonofabitch. I mean, I loved him, but sooner or later, you have to grow up and realise that love - it’s not always enough. So I made a decision. I set my sights on a promotion at the bank, a lot more money and I worked my ass off to get it, nights, weekends, I just about killed myself.  You know why? Because I wanted the best for my daughter, and I was willing to make sacrifices for her. The day I got that job, I went and bought a bottle of champagne and I took it home. ‘What are we celebrating?’ he asked me. I told him I got the promotion, a lot more money and of course, he was overjoyed.  He said, ‘Let’s pop the cork’ and I said, ‘Wait.’ He’s like, ‘For what?’ I said to him, ‘I want to wait for my decree nisi to come through. That’s the day I pop this sucker.’ He acted all confused, but I told him, he’s done, I’m divorcing him. He really didn’t have a clue why, telling me he’s a good dad, a good husband. But I was done listening to his bullshit. I kicked him out. And when that paperwork came through, I popped the cork with my daughter, who had everything she needed. Which included acting classes and a maid who did our laundry, washed the dishes, and had dinner on the table at seven every night.’ Denise finished there and sat back, satisfied. She waited to see her story’s effect on her audience.

Emily had listened to this tale with grim fascination. It was certainly a captivating insight into the Knight family. But Emily couldn’t see why Denise was telling her any of this. ‘That’s, I mean, that’s a really interesting story. But I don’t see how it relates to me’ she said, truly perplexed.

Denise smiled, bitterly. ‘Because I want you to understand two things, Emily. The first is the lengths I’ll go to to see that my daughter gets everything she wants. The second is that some people, you can love them all you want. But all they ever do is take you in the wrong direction. And that’s what you’d do.’

‘Who, me?’ Emily asked in astonishment. ‘Mrs Knight…’

‘I told you, it’s Ms.’

‘Ms Knight, I understand that maybe your opinion of me is not really that high…’

‘You’re surprised I don’t have much regard for some poor English girl that married my daughter drunk-’ Denise sneered.

‘But even if I was like your husband…’ Emily went on, determined to get her point out, despite how nerve wracking it was to argue with this hand grenade with a mouth.  ‘… and I don’t really think I am, it wouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how I feel either. It doesn’t matter if I… It doesn’t matter if I’ve fallen for her’ she said, truly embarrassed to admit the truth for the first time out loud and to of all people, Denise. ‘Because your daughter doesn’t… She wouldn’t…’ Emily looked away. There was a limit to what she was willing to confess to today and being in unrequited love was the red line. ‘It’s just not going to be like that between us. We’re not going to be together.’

Denise raised an eyebrow and looked down at Emily in a way that made her wonder if she was about to be murdered in the back of an LA cab while light jazz played in the background. But Denise just looked at her, long and hard.

Emily couldn’t take any more murderous stares so she said, ‘Look, are we going to ride around in this car all day or can I get out now?’

‘I’ll drop you back home. Right after you swear to me that there’s nothing going on between you two.’

Immediately, a blush crept up Emily’s neck. Because something had happened. Maybe not everything Denise was talking about. But something, alright. ‘No, nothing’ Emily muttered.

But Denise had clearly seen the pink colour rising on Emily, her back going rigid as she exclaimed, ‘Oh, fuck me. You’ve got to be kidding! You two are doing it?!’ The driver half turned but quickly set his eyes back on the road. Denise was enraged. ‘That wasn’t part of the deal, Emily. I did not buy my daughter a concubine. I thought I made that clear. I don’t give a shit what happened in Vegas. You were supposed to put on a show and nothing else.’

Emily was aghast. ‘I’m not a concubine!’

‘But you’re fucking, though, right?’ Denise pressed.

Emily didn’t like that word. She didn’t like it on an ordinary day, but used to describe what had happened with Ruby, she liked it even less. It made her angry and with the anger came a little bravery. ‘First off, it was once, ‘Fuck’ in the singular. Your plural is inaccurate. If you’re going to be vulgar, be grammatically correct’ she sniped. ‘Secondly, what has happened between me and Ruby, outside of our terms of agreement, is really none of your business.’

Denise was incensed. ‘It’s very much my business if you start distracting Ruby from the finish line. When?’

‘When what?’

‘When did it happen?’ Denise commanded.

‘Denise, this is so completely inappropriate I can’t even-’

‘You tell me, or I drive you to the airport now and put you on a plane. You get nothing’ Denise said coolly.

Emily was tempted to call her bluff. The problem was, she really couldn’t be sure it was a bluff. From what she knew of Denise, she wasn’t someone to play chicken with. And the idea of being thrown back across the ocean right now scared her. And not because of the money. She wasn’t ready for this to be over. Not yet. ‘Fine. It was last night.’

Denise nodded. ‘Right. So when you say it was once, you don’t actually know that. You haven’t had a chance to reset. So what’s to say it won’t happen tonight too?’

‘Because we agreed’ Emily admitted. ‘Alright? Ruby wanted an assurance and I gave it to her. I told her it was a one-time thing. So can you just calm down?’

Denise did appear to relax a little, her rigid spine deflating. She leaned over to the driver. ‘You can take us back now.’

‘Alright then’ he said and turned at an intersection. Relief flooded through Emily. This was almost over.

‘OK, we’re going back to Ruby’s’ Denise said. Emily nodded, trying not to seem too happy. But then Denise said, ‘Pack your bag. I’ll be waiting.’

‘What?’ Emily almost shouted. ‘You’re really going to do it? You’re going to put me on a flight? You know you’re not immigration, don’t you? You can’t just deport me at will-’

‘Relax’ Denise said. ‘I’m not deporting anyone. But it’s clear to me now that letting you two rattle around that tiny apartment together was always going to be a bad idea. You’re gonna come stay with me.’

Emily’s mouth swung wide open. ‘Denise, I told you. We agreed-’

‘Come on, Emily, I’m not stupid.’

‘I was never under the impression that you were.’

‘Good, then you’ll know that I’m not one to miss a snake in my garden.’

Emily’s left eyebrow went up a full centimetre. ‘I’m a what?’

‘You’ve got a payday coming, sure. But maybe you’re thinking it’s small fry compared to what you could get if you stuck around?’

Emily took a second to piece that one together. She started to laugh, saying ‘Hang on a minute, I’m struggling to keep up. A minute ago, I was a love-struck loser and now I’m, what, a heartless gold-digger?’

‘I didn’t use that term. I’m not saying you don’t feel all that gooey shit. What I’m saying is, you married an actress with a career and the potential to blow up. Maybe that was an accident, maybe it wasn’t. But you know what? Gold-diggers? Sometimes they really love those sugar daddies and mommies, you know what I’m saying? You can fall in love with anyone in the world. But the smart person chooses that person carefully.’ She stopped and adopted what, for Denise, was a gentler tone. ‘I know you care for her, Emily. I can see it.’ The tone re-hardened. ‘But that doesn’t preclude you from being a train wreck that will take Ruby down.’

‘Train wreck?’ Emily repeated, the word so far from her own definition of herself it was preposterous.

But Denise wasn’t listening. She was revising her scheme. ‘Point is, I’m not leaving anything to chance. The only time you’ll see Ruby now is on a schedule, under supervision. You’ve still got a job to do and I’ll honour our terms. I’m just gonna have to start micromanaging things a little.’

‘I thought you said we should live together so it looked legitimate’ Emily exclaimed.

‘I said that when I didn’t know you couldn’t keep it in your pants’ Denise said with a horrid smile as the car pulled up, right back in front of Ruby’s place. ‘Now be a good girl, go get your bag so we can get you your pay check. Okay?’

Emily hesitated. She was in a bind. Should she refuse these revised terms, demand some respect, fight to stay near Ruby? She couldn’t see that going her way. She was pretty sure if she made a fuss, she’d be out on her arse, the deal cancelled, a one-way ticket back to Oxford booked post-haste. She’d be even further away from Ruby then. So she was left with one option. Do as she was told.

‘Fine’ she said and climbed out of the cab. She leaned down to the window and added, ‘But what am I supposed to tell Ruby?’

‘Don’t tell her anything. I’ll talk to her.’

‘What are you going to say?’ Emily asked, suddenly panicked. She realised that Denise could tell Ruby the truth. That Emily was a lovestruck idiot who’d played a game of make-believe and forgotten the rules.

‘Don’t worry, honey. I’ll keep your secret’ Denise said. It almost sounded kind. ‘Now, go.’

Emily turned from the car, going in to Ruby’s apartment. Ruby was apparently still asleep, and Emily didn’t know whether to be happy or disappointed about that. But she knew one thing. Denise had her by the throat. Whatever she did, she would lose. Either the money or Ruby. And since she didn’t really have Ruby anyway, she’d just have to go ahead and finish this thing and take her money, go home with her tail between her legs and her heart broken, for the second time in weeks.

Twenty-Four

Emily wasn’t there when Ruby poked her head out of her room late the next morning. She wasn’t due on set ‘til the afternoon, though she’d been awake for hours. But she hadn’t dared to come out of her room, unsure what she would find. Turned out, nothing.

She showered, got ready and left for work, wondering where Emily was right this moment, what she was doing, what she was thinking. But it was a stupid train of thought that led off a broken bridge, so she did her best to shut it down.

***

On the set, things felt simpler. This was Ruby’s world and she knew where she was. She knew Rock would be a diva. She knew the director would do his best to keep him level. She knew the producer would be nowhere to be seen. She knew to avoid anything from catering with beef in it.

The day began as it always did - with Ruby sat in make-up - when Rock waltzed in. ‘Ruby’ he said with fake warmth. Ruby had to marvel at him, he was such a bad actor, he wasn’t even good at pretending to like her.

‘Hi Rock’ Ruby said neutrally.

‘You seen the pages for today?’ he asked as a second make-up artist attended him. ‘We’re gonna lock lips this afternoon.’

‘Yeah, I know’ Ruby said, trying to keep still for the make-up artist. ‘I guess I’ll just close my eyes and think of my wife’ she said, only partly joking.

Rock guffawed. ‘Ha, yeah. Maybe I’ll do the same. Think of your wife too.’

The make-up artist had the sense to withdraw her eyebrow pencil away so that when Ruby turned in anger, she didn’t lose an eye. ‘Not cool’ Ruby told Rock.

‘Jesus, it was a joke’ Rock said with a fake laugh as his make-up artist applied foundation by the bucket. Rock’s skin wasn’t great. ‘Getting married has done nothing for your sense of humour, you know.’

‘Oh Rock’ Ruby smiled. ‘I’ll laugh until the end of time if you ever say anything funny. I promise.’

Rock and Ruby chuckled together bitterly. Ruby marvelled at how they towed this line every day, between complete resentment and professional conduct. But that was how it was with him and Ruby had no expectation of it changing. All she could do was walk the line until one of them got fired or the show was cancelled. Sometimes she yearned for that last option. Freedom from this ridiculous merry-go-round. Ruby turned back to the make-up artist and the pencil returned to her right eyebrow.

‘So you going to that thing on Friday night?’ Rock asked.

Ruby knew of the thing he meant. A party, in the hills. The usual blend of industry movers and shakers, actors, models, hangers on. Ruby hated those things. They were about as far from the definition of a party as you could get. She never had fun. She just stood about sipping water, waiting for it to be over. ‘Nope. Other plans.’

‘Really?’ Rock asked. ‘I thought you’d definitely be going to this one, taking the new missus, making a show of her for the big boys.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Rock’ Ruby said, but she didn’t like how suspicious he seemed of Emily. He wasn’t smart but he was cunning, and that was worse. Most people wouldn’t conjure the idea of a fake marriage. But Rock, with his abundance of ambition and lack of talent, his mind would most definitely conceive of it. She could feel him, trying to sniff his way to it. ‘Anyway, I’m not going to the party.’

‘But you’re up for that big part, aren’t you?’

‘What does that have to do with it?’ Ruby asked.

‘Rumour has it that Barry Curtis might show up.’

Ruby shrugged. ‘I’m not going to a party just to kiss his ass.’

‘You better hope no one else does then.’

‘Why the hell are you trying to encourage this, Rock?’ Ruby asked.

Rock feigned hurt. ‘Because you’re my co-star. What’s good for you is good for me.’

‘Sure’ Ruby said. But she wondered what the hell he was up to. She didn’t buy his magnanimous bullshit for a single second.

***

On the way to the set, her mother called. As ever, Ruby gave serious thought to not picking up. But in the end, she took the call. ‘Mommy dearest!’ she exclaimed, an old joke. Denise had never really appreciated it and today was no different.

‘Ruby, you know I don’t think that’s funny’ Denise said in a cool tone.

‘Sorry, Mommy. I mean, Mom. What’s up?’

‘Couple of things I just thought you’d like an update on. First off, there’s a party Friday night and I have it on good authority Barry’s going. So you’re going. With Emily.’

Ruby gave a small moan. She should have seen this coming. ‘Really? Because I feel like running into him ‘accidently’ again might start to seem like stalking.’

‘I don’t have time to get into this, but I heard that it’s come down to you and Marisa Benson.’

‘Really?’ Ruby exclaimed. ‘I’m on the short-short list now?’

‘Yes. Congratulations’ Denise said with no feeling.

‘With Marisa Benson?’ Ruby added. That part was more unbelievable. Marisa Benson was a serious actor with real awards. Not just Teen Choice. Ruby hadn’t realised Marisa was on the list, apparently willing to consider trading her artistic cred for the big time. Ruby was proud to occupy the slate with her.

‘But she’s apparently asking three times what we are’ Denise explained.

‘She should. She’s worth it’ Ruby said, and she meant it. She didn’t consider herself remotely in the same league as Marisa.

‘Well, regardless, it’s a bone of contention with Barry and her people aren’t backing down.’

‘If you have to sell your soul, you might as well get a good price’ Ruby said dryly. ‘And this is a step down for her.’

‘A step down? A lead in a blockbuster?’

‘Have you seen Summer Rain? She’s amazing. She could do this movie in her sleep.’

‘Do you think we could knock the girl-crush off for a sec and talk business?’

‘You do know for me it’s just considered a standard crush, right?’ Ruby asked.

‘Ruby, shut up and listen.’

Ruby’s jaw tightened and she waited.

‘So I want this to be a last push. We’re selling love, we’re selling commitment, we’re selling stability. You’re the couple people are talking about. You’re the actress people are talking about. You’re a woman ready for the big time, Ruby. You got it?’

‘Sure, fine’ Ruby muttered quickly. ‘Is that it?’

‘Yes’ Denise replied and then, as though it were an afterthought, said, ‘Oh, while I’ve got you, one last thing. Emily’s staying with me now. She thought it was best and I agreed. I’ll make sure she’s at the place at eight. You be there the same time. OK, bye.’

Ruby was slack-jawed for a moment. ‘Wait, what?!’ eventually made it out of her mouth, but she’d made the mistake of pausing in her shock and the call was terminated before she got the words out. She thought about calling her mother back. And then didn’t. Then she decided to call Emily. And then didn’t.

She stopped to take a breath before reacting, rolling this news dump over in her mind before she said something to someone that might give the game away. After all, she was not supposed to care about this. How would she explain to her mother that Emily’s abrupt departure - which not long ago, she might have been pleased about - was now cause for anxiety? How could she explain that she couldn’t deal with the thought of Emily being ripped away from her like this? And after last night, that’s how it felt. A tearing.

But what had Denise said about Emily? That it was her idea? What possible reason would lead her to request a move to Denise’s when she’d made it clear that she couldn’t stand her? This had to be about them sleeping together. Whatever they’d agreed, even though Ruby had assured her that there were no consequences to it, maybe Emily had decided she couldn’t look Ruby in the eye now, at least not in private. That was the British way, wasn’t it? Repression, denial, avoidance. Emily had said so herself.

It was now obvious why Emily had been gone this morning. She’d contacted Denise first thing and gotten the hell out, not wanting to deal.

When Ruby arrived at the set, her shoulders were slung low with such breath-taking disappointment, she didn’t know how in the hell she was going to do her job. But when the director approached, she found it somehow, the will to pretend everything was just dandy. And then she was safely on the other side of the call of ‘Action!’ and things were easier. She was Elise Wolfwater now, she of the tragic taste in men.

It was the kiss scene. And Ruby did exactly as she’d vowed. She thought of Emily. It lessened the suffering of kissing Rock considerably. But other pains, underneath, where the real Ruby still lived? They were sharpened.

Twenty-Five

Emily was done up like a dog’s dinner. She’d endured a shopping trip this afternoon that was right out of Pretty Woman – Emily as the common hooker, Denise as Richard Gere - and she was now wearing something Denise had assured her was right for the occasion, a dress that seemed cheap despite the big price-tag. Emily hated it. It was too long whilst also being restrictive – Emily had to suck everything in just to get the zipper up - and too dark for Emily’s skin tone, it washed her right out. But according to Denise, it was, ‘Wifely.’ Emily missed Ruby’s wardrobe. She also missed Ruby.

It had been a long three days locked in Denise’s place, a place much bigger than Ruby’s with about a tenth of the warmth. It was something Emily had heard about; called a McMansion it was filled with soulless art and uncomfortable furniture. Emily was staying in a room that Denise had assured her was as far from her own room as possible within the confines of the property. But most of the day, Denise was gone anyway, no doubt powerbroking her way around LA. She only saw her in the morning, when Emily scuttled out of her room to make a cup of tea. That was the best that could be said of the situation. Minimal Denise.

So Emily had some peace and she’d used it to lay in the backyard by Denise’s pool, reading Valley of the Dolls (found on a well-stocked bookshelf in Denise’s living room, all the spines tellingly unbroken) under a bright sun and looking at her phone every two minutes. Ruby didn’t call, didn’t text. Emily didn’t contact Ruby either. She wanted to, dearly. But she was afraid. She still wasn’t sure what Ruby knew or didn’t know. It was no good asking Denise, though she’d tried. Denise had just said, ‘I told her this was a better arrangement. She didn’t argue.’

Knowing Ruby as she now did, Emily found that hard to believe. Though Denise won every war, Ruby didn’t usually go down without a fight. Unless… Oh, that hurt. That hurt a lot. What if Ruby had jumped at the chance to be shot of Emily? She might be sitting around now in her flat thinking ‘Good riddance’. Because now she had her place back to herself and she didn’t have to face the person she’d had ill-advised casual sex with, did she? Emily was in Siberia and Ruby was absolutely fine to keep her there, to be pulled out only when needed.

Emily became convinced over those isolated days that she was right. She was crushed.

And now it was party time. She had to get the terrible dress on, not to mention her game face, such as it was. She didn’t know how the hell she was going to get through this.

As she stood looking at herself in the mirror and wondering if it was too late to catch a flight to literally anywhere but here, there was a harsh knock on the door. ‘Come on, Emily. Showtime.’

Emily sighed and turned away from the mirror, disappointed in what she’d seen. Because even though she was pretty sure she was on the out with Ruby, she still wanted to look nice for her. She hated it, but there it was. She’d been pining for days, not sure whether to be angry or sad about the situation. But the truth of it was, rightly or wrongly, Emily wanted to see Ruby.

‘Hold on a second’ Emily said, even though she was finished getting ready. She needed to brace herself.

The door suddenly flew open. ‘Hey, what’s the hold up?’ Denise demanded.

‘Denise!’ Emily exclaimed. ‘What if I’d been naked?’

‘Then I’d be pissed you weren’t dressed yet. Because we’re due to leave now’ Denise said and then something in the room caught her eye. The TV was paused on something. Emily quickly picked up a remote and turned the TV off.

‘What was that?’ Denise asked with dark suspicion.

‘Nothing, I don’t know’ Emily muttered, flustered.

‘It looked like Wolfwater Cove’ Denise said.

‘It might have been, I wasn’t really watching it’ Emily said, rushing to the door, pushing Denise out. ‘Come on, you said we were late.’

Denise was going nowhere. ‘I feel like maybe you didn’t heed my warning. That worries me, Emily.’

‘I’m doing my best here’ Emily replied. ‘Anyway, you’re supervising any contact I have with Ruby, aren’t you? What am I going to get away with?’

Denise paused and Emily thought she was about to get even more of a telling off, but Denise just said ‘Alright then. Let’s go.’

***

They pulled up to the place in the Hollywood Hills and got out of the car. A valet jumped in and drove Denise’s BMW away while Emily took in the sight of the house. She couldn’t help but be impressed by the large cream and pink art deco split-level structure, but she supposed that was the point.

‘You gonna stare up at this place with your mouth open like some kind of hick a while longer or shall we go in?’ Denise asked.

Emily gave Denise a withering look that had precisely no impact and said, ‘Where’s Ruby?’

Denise made a show of looking in her pockets and her purse and said, ‘Well, I don’t seem to have her on me…’

Emily rolled her eyes and she was just about say something to Denise about how bloody unhelpful her sarcasm was, but she was interrupted.

‘I’m here’ said a voice and Emily spun around to see Ruby wearing a stunning white dress cut short as hell and dangerously steep stiletto heels making those luscious legs even longer, that thick mane of blonde hair falling down her back like a waterfall. She was pure sex, as always. If Emily had been gaping at the fancy house, she dreaded to think what face she’d made at the sight of Ruby. She tried to correct it to something neutral as quick as she could. ‘Ruby, hi’ she said, thinking about how she’d wanted to be with Ruby, all cool and nonchalant. She was already coming up short in the first three seconds.

Ruby gave a small smile. ‘Hello’ she said quietly. Emily couldn’t begin to pull out every nuance from those two syllables.

‘If we’re done with dramatic entrances, can we go in now?’ Denise asked.

Ruby ignored her and walked over to Emily, holding out a hand. ‘Come on’ she said quietly, and Emily took her hand, a chill going up her spine despite the warm evening. They walked slowly up the drive and Emily was able to enjoy the touch, just for a moment.

Denise ruined the moment, as ever. ‘Well, if I didn’t know this was bullshit, I might just buy it’ she muttered from behind them.

They walked into the house, Denise at their backs. She muttered ‘Game-faces, everyone’ as they stepped over the threshold, guided in by a guy wearing a sharp suit and a leer. Emily looked up throughout the open plan house to see it was as fancy inside as it was out and jammed to the rafters with beautiful people and crab puffs.

‘So this is a Hollywood party?’ Emily muttered to herself.

‘Yep. It’s like any other party except the people here really need you to know how much money they have’ Ruby told her.

‘Easy, Ruby’ Denise warned.

‘Mom, go and get a drink’ Ruby said sharply.

Emily’s gaze whipped to Denise, expecting a retort. But Denise said, ‘Whatever you say. But I want an Instagram post with the pair of you in the next ten minutes. If Barry’s here, he’ll see it.’ She waltzed off. She didn’t go too far, a bar at one end of the room. Emily sensed her eyes on them. Not just hers, either. People were looking at them. Emily didn’t care for it.

But technically, they were alone, the din of the party covering anything they might say. Emily felt that if there was a moment to say something about what had happened, a chance to get the absolute facts on her own surprise change of address, this was it. But of course, she did nothing of the sort. ‘So how have you been?’

‘Since you shacked up with my mom? Oh, great’ Ruby said wryly.

Emily gave a little nod. ‘Good. Good, great.’

‘How’s life at Casa Denise?’ Ruby asked.

‘I don’t really see her a lot’ Emily said.

‘Yeah, that sounds about right’ Ruby breathed. She gave Emily a brief look up and down. ‘She pick that out for you?’

‘How did you know that?’ Emily gasped.

‘Because she used to do that to me too, until I moved out. She still gives it a shot now and again, texts me ‘Suggestions’ for events.’

Emily shook her head. ‘I shouldn’t have let her. I hate this dress.’

‘With Denise, you have to choose your battles’ Ruby said. ‘And anyway, you’re pulling it off.’

‘Am I?’

‘Come on. You’d look good in a trash bag’ Ruby said casually.

Emily said, ‘Oh, err… Well…’ She started coughing, though she didn’t need to.

‘I’ll get you some water’ Ruby said and walked off.

Emily watched Ruby going to fetch the water and she wondered at how nice she was being to her. It didn’t match up to the theory that Ruby had been glad to see the back of her. Then again, they were in public, so it was probably part of painting a convincing picture for the outside world. Still, it was hard to believe that Ruby’s warmth could be faked like that. But Emily reminded herself that was exactly what actors did, and Ruby was better than most.

Twenty-Six

Ruby came back with water and handed it to Emily.

‘Thank you’ Emily said and quickly took a sip. ‘I suppose we’d better get that snap?’

‘I’m surprised you’re up for that’ Ruby exclaimed. ‘Aren’t you still worried about this leaking back home to Oxford?’

Emily gave a light shrug. ‘I’ve had some time to think about that and I’ve decided, if I’m going to be known for this, there’s not a lot I can do about it. The barn door is wide open now. Anyway, I was being stupid. So I got married to a hot American actress and it didn’t work out? I’m not exactly the Croydon cat-killer, am I?’

‘The what?’ Ruby said with a laugh.

‘In England, we have this person going around murdering people’s pets and the police say it’s just foxes, but everyone knows that’s bullshit’ Emily said conversationally. ‘Personally, I think it’s someone high up in Scotland Yard. Total cover up.’

Ruby grinned. ‘Not exactly Jack the Ripper.’

‘The stakes aren’t as high, I’ll grant you. But we can’t let that person be running around murdering tabbies! It’s crazy!’ Emily finished and then seemed to remember her original point. ‘Anyway, my point is that I might have freaked out but I’m feeling alright about it now. It could actually be good for my cred. I might be able to try the bad girl thing, which would be a nice change of pace’ she said with an easy smile.

Ruby listened to Emily talk, charmed by her little speech, when it hit her what she’d just heard. ‘Hot actress’, that’s what Emily had described her as. Did she mean hot as in attractive or hot as in ‘In’? Tough to say. Ruby knew she shouldn’t be concerning herself with these silly fixations on every little thing Emily said or did. She should have been distancing herself. But this was the first time in days she’d seen Emily and whatever vows she’d made when she was alone about letting all this nonsense go, it was harder to keep them now.

‘Alright’ Ruby said, trying to sound light, ‘Let’s take the pic.’

‘How did you want to pose?’ Emily asked.

Ruby licked her lips without meaning to. ‘Don’t we have one last kiss in the bank?’

Emily’s eyes flitted away from Ruby for a moment, embarrassed. ‘You wanna spend that now?’

‘We had three and they were supposed to be in public. So the first two were technically wasted’ she heard herself say. ‘We should try to at least use one for its intended purpose. Don’t you think?’ What the hell was she doing? This was a really bad idea.

But Emily said, ‘Alright.’ And she slipped in next to Ruby while Ruby got her phone out. She felt abruptly nervous, so much so that she couldn’t seem to remember how to unlock her phone for an embarrassing second. Eventually, she got the damn thing in camera mode and she slipped an arm around Emily’s waist and pulled her close, her heart banging, her pulse racing with anticipation. She turned to face Emily, her lips only inches away. ‘You ready?’

Emily smiled nervously. ‘When you are.’

Ruby turned back to her phone and got her finger ready. She turned back to Emily, looking right at her, so close. She leaned in…

‘Hey’ Denise hissed, a scotch in her hand. ‘What are you two doing?’

Ruby internalised a very angry sigh and said, ‘Exactly what you told us to do two minutes ago.’

‘I didn’t say you needed to get sloppy all over each other, did I?’

‘Mom-’

‘Emily? Maybe you should mingle?’ Denise said pointedly.

Emily looked back and forth between Ruby and Denise. She slipped out of Ruby’s grasp, saying, ‘OK then Denise.’ She walked away, sucked into the crowd. Ruby noticed her intercepted by the last person she wanted to see. Rock.

But before she could worry too much about that, Denise stepped in very close to Ruby. It took everything Ruby had not to step back but this was the dance she always did with her mother. Holding the line, in all senses.

‘I know what’s going on’ Denise said, through a smile that the rest of the room would see and not think twice about. But Ruby could feel anger behind her mother’s ice-white teeth. ‘Oh? Do you mind telling me?’ Ruby quipped.

Denise gave a short little chuckle, no trace of mirth contained in it. ‘I know about the fun and games that were going on at your place.’

Ruby felt her stomach turn over. This had just gone from average unpleasantness to deeply intrusive. ‘Fun and games, huh? I’m assuming you’re not talking about Scrabble.’

‘You know how bad of an idea that was? You don’t want to tangle with this girl any more than you already have.’

‘Tangle. Interesting word’ Ruby said as some guy with a man-bun shoved past her.

‘You need to keep things business with her’ Denise said, still smiling. ‘I don’t care what the hell happened in Vegas, you knew where the line was. And you crossed it. If you fuck with this girl, you could get her all… Upset. You know how people are. She could go to the press. That’s how careers are broken.’

‘She signed an NDA. What’s the worst that could happen?’

‘Because no one ever broke one of those, right? You might wanna put CNN on occasionally, Ruby’ she scoffed. ‘People break agreements when the stakes get too high. When they think it’s worth the cost.’

Ruby was just about done with her mother’s condescension. ‘And what stakes would they be?’

‘Attachment, love, pick your poison’ Denise said.

Ruby looked down at the carpet, at its geometric retro pattern, and said something that almost broke her. ‘Mom. I’m going to say this once and then I don’t ever want to have this conversation with you again, alright? You don’t have anything to worry about. Emily doesn’t love me. We slept together once and that’s all it was. It was sex and it was nothing to her. Now shut the fuck up, would you?’

Denise’s eyes narrowed at Ruby and cogs whirred behind her eyes in a way that Ruby didn’t remotely like. ‘Christ’ Denise breathed.

‘What?’

‘Never mind’ Denise said. ‘Just never fucking mind.’ Denise turned away and scanned the room. ‘Shit, there he is.’

Ruby turned to see the ‘he’ in question. There he was, Barry. Ruby felt something die in her at the thought of becoming his performing monkey again while her mother ground the organ. She was fucking sick of the whole bullshit cycle.

‘Oh and looky there. There’s Marisa Benson, chatting him up. Shocker’ Denise muttered.

Ruby looked to Barry’s side and her mother was right, Marisa was smiling and nodding, listening to something he was saying.

‘You need to get in there’ Denise instructed her.

Ruby gave her mother a hard look. ‘Tell you what? Why don’t I just rip my face off and you can wear it and go over there and stick your tongue as far up his ass it it’ll go’ Ruby murmured angrily.

Denise looked around her for a moment, watching for anyone with an ear out. But everyone was busy with their own shit. Feeling safe, her smile fell away. ‘Do you think this is a game?’

‘I do, actually. This whole thing has been one long game and I’m sick of it.’

Ruby turned on her heel and walked off, her heart in her mouth. For every time she’d ever told her mother to shove it, this felt different. She couldn’t say what was dissimilar about this moment as opposed to any other blow up, but if pressed, she’d say she had reached her limit. A limit on hypocrisy and disingenuousness. She thought maybe it had something to do with being around someone who felt more real to her than anyone she’d ever met. It was like eating tinned food your whole life and then being handed a beautifully cooked steak. It was hard to go back to processed shit.

She wanted to take a shower, wash off every lie she’d told in the last few weeks, wash off the person her mother had moulded her into. All she wanted to do now was be honest. Real.

And if that was the case, if she was going to be honest, there was one person who needed the truth. Even if she didn’t want to hear it.

Twenty-Seven

Emily couldn’t believe Denise’s timing. Ruby had been going to kiss her and for the briefest moment, she’d wondered if maybe she wasn’t just doing it for the snap. Something in her eyes…

But along came the boss, clearly trying to break things up before they could start. Emily wasn’t surprised by that, this was the whole reason for her sudden policy of micromanagement over this very public marriage. She was trying to ensure Emily didn’t attempt to seduce her daughter into a dead-end marriage. That was patently crazy, but Denise looked at the world through a deeply cynical lens.

Maybe it was for the best though. Another kiss would just be something else to torture herself over. God knows, she was stocked up in that department.

As she mulled the whole mess over, wandering through the throng of over coiffed party goers, she ran into Rock. Well, ran into wasn’t really the term. She felt quite targeted. It was as though she were the weak member of the herd and the moment she was separated, Rock had picked her off.

‘Hi!’ he said too enthusiastically. ‘Emily, right?’

‘Yes. Hello Rock’ Emily replied with a thin smile.

‘I wasn’t sure you’d remember me’ Rock said with faux modesty.

‘You’re the man that kisses my wife. Not likely to forget that, am I?’ Emily said, half joking. She’d seen three episodes of Wolfwater Cove now and it stung to see Ruby kissing this pillock, even though she knew Ruby didn’t really enjoy it. But that was jealousy. It was illogical.

Rock laughed a bit too hard. ‘Guess not.’

Emily looked around the room for rescue but Ruby and Denise looked deep in conversation. Emily dreaded to imagine the topic.

‘So how’d you guys meet?’ Rock asked with more interest than Emily thought decent.

‘On a flight’ Emily said. She had a detailed account now, provided by Ruby. But she still thought it better to keep it simple. She didn’t have Ruby’s gift for weaving a tale, and besides, the less she said, the better. Rock was being weird, she could smell it a mile off.

‘When was that?’ he asked.

‘Six months ago’ Emily quickly replied, meaning to try and get off this track, change the conversation.

But he was keen to keep it on course. ‘Six months and you guys got married. Wow, that’s fast.’

‘You don’t know the half of it’ Emily said with a quick smile. ‘But when you know, you know’ she said, her eyes straying again to Ruby. And it was no lie. She did know. Too bloody bad it had happened this way. Emily had never had a chance. She wasn’t sure what the perfect conditions to allow love to blossom between them might be, or indeed if there was such a situation. But this? Trying to find real love while being asked to fake it simultaneously? Preposterous. She didn’t know how she’d ever imagined she could come out of this unscathed. Her reputation didn’t matter anymore, she’d meant everything she’d said to Ruby about that. What mattered to her now was the dwindling time she had left with the woman who’d made her fall off a cliff, smashing herself up on jagged love rocks.

‘So did you plan to get married in Vegas or…’ Rock asked.

‘No, we didn’t’ Emily said without thinking. Her mind was still on Ruby. ‘It was a spontaneous thing.’

Rock’s eyes narrowed. ‘Oh, wait, didn’t Ruby say you guys planned to do it that way?’

Emily blinked. ‘Oh, no. I mean…’

Rock gave a small laugh. ‘Well, that was easier than I thought it was going to be.’

‘What do you mean? What’s easy?’ Emily repeated, suddenly nervous.

‘Tripping you up. You should really get your stories straight. This isn’t amateur hour’ Rock sneered.

‘Rock, what are you talking about?’ Emily asked, her fear growing.

Rock rolled his eyes. ‘You want me to spell it out? You guys aren’t real. I had you checked out.’

‘You did what?’ she gasped.

‘Yep. I had you looked into. Emily Bartlett, right? You shouldn’t tell strangers your name when you’re getting coffee.’

My god, the hipster couple. They weren’t Ruby fans. They were investigating her!

‘There’s nothing to connect you two before Vegas. No flights, no skypes, no calls. Nothing. What, did you just meet there and concoct all this on the fly?’

Emily’s lips parted in horror. ‘I… no, you’ve got it wrong. I don’t know what you’ve been told, but we met six months ago…’

‘Jesus. How fucking stupid does Ruby think I am?’ Rock said, not really to Emily. ‘A fake marriage for publicity? It’s the oldest trick in the book.’

‘It’s not fake’ Emily said desperately. She only had one true thing to cling onto. ‘We are married.’

Rock laughed. ‘Emily, let it go. You’re done. I know all about your wedding.’

Emily’s brow knitted. ‘What do you mean?’

Rock smiled smugly and got out his phone, turning it to Emily and hitting play on a video.

It was a security video from behind a counter, the corner caption read, ‘Chapel 1.’ Two women staggered up to meet the guy manning the desk. You could only see the man’s back but Ruby and Emily were clear as day. Emily, obviously hammered, seemed to be leading the charge. ‘Sir, we’d like to get married please.’

‘That’s right’ Ruby said. ‘We’ve found each other in this terrible desert of neon tonight and we want to be together forever.’

There then followed a lingering kiss between Emily and Ruby that was embarrassing to watch with Rock. The guy on the desk then ask for ID’s, which Ruby and Emily produced. After he’d checked out Emily’s passport, he asked for the marriage license.

Ruby looked at the guy for ten seconds, processing the request slowly. ‘Huh? We don’t need a license. This is Vegas!’

‘I’m afraid you still need a license, which you have to get from city hall. Which is closed right now. It’ll also take a little longer to get the license as one of you is from outside the US. A couple of days.’

In the video, Emily and Ruby looked at each other in drunk surprise. In real life, Emily watched in equal astonishment.

In the video, Ruby shrugged and said, ‘Fine. But we’ll be back! We’re in love!’

Emily agreed. ‘Yep. Totally in love.’

The registrar congratulated them and then said, ‘In the meantime, we can offer you a ceremony. It’s not legal but it can be a nice moment anyway. It comes with two silver-affect rings and a commemorative certificate. It looks like a marriage certificate but of course, it’s not real, no seal or signatures. It’s just intended as a novelty item.’

‘How much?’ Ruby asked.

‘$299. Plus tax.’

‘Sold!’ Ruby said. ‘Let’s do it.’

‘Yeah, let’s do the ceremony’ Emily agreed and then she leant in to Ruby. ‘Then we can go back to my hotel room.’

Ruby pulled Emily close and said, ‘Now you’re talking.’ They kissed passionately again, while the registrar turned discretely to his printer.

Rock chose that moment to shut the video down. He put the phone back in his pocket. ‘See, you can lie all you want, but the video doesn’t. I can’t wait to make this sucker viral.’

Emily was still processing the news that her and Ruby weren’t actually married but there wasn’t much time to work out what that meant in the long run because Rock was rubbing his hands in glee. ‘Rock, please, don’t do that’ Emily pleaded.

‘Why the hell shouldn’t I? That little bitch has been acting like she’s better than me since day one. Now people are going to see what a manipulative little liar she is. Pretending like you two were in love and married, getting all those clickbait articles written about it, getting herself trending. When all along she just hooked up with a stranger and faked it’ he spat. ‘This will screw her with the studio. Barry won’t even think about giving her that movie. Fuck, this will screw her for everything. I’m gonna turn her into the worst train wreck since Lindsey Lohan.’

Emily took a deep breath, trying to think her way out of this mess. ‘So why say anything?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I’m asking why you’re going around the houses with this. You could have just gone ahead and uploaded the video. But you came and talked to me first.’

‘You’re no dummy, are you?’ Rock said with a horrid wink.

‘I like to think not’ Emily said, trying not to shudder.

‘OK, here’s the thing’ he said, leaning in conspiratorially. Emily tried not to lean away. ‘I’ve heard Ruby’s probably gonna get that movie.’

Emily raised an eyebrow. ‘Who told you that?’

‘I just know, OK? My cousin works for another exec at the studio and he’s buddies with Barry’s assistant. She’s in’ Rock said dismissively.

Emily took that news in for a moment, in equal happiness and sadness. It was bigger news than Rock understood, for a number of reasons.

But Rock wasn’t finished. ‘Which means she could get me in. I’m not asking for male lead but a third or fourth billing could really bump my stock right now. All she has to do is get her mom to negotiate me in, get it put in her rider that I get a part. She could drop her fee a little if she needs to.’

Emily shook her head at Rock. ‘That’s what all this is about?’

‘Yeah. You’re gonna broker that deal with her for me, alright?’

‘You piece of…’ Emily began, angry. She saw a head swivel next to her. She had to keep calm, or she was going to blow everything, one way or the other. ‘Why do you need a messenger?’ she asked, her voice more level.

‘Because she hates me way too much. If I say any of this to her, she’d blow up her own career out of pure spite. But you? You can lay it out for her, all nice. Tell her I’m serious and tell her it makes sense to play ball. OK?’

Emily looked closely at Rock. He was grinning about all this, but underneath, Emily saw something else. ‘You’re scared of her, aren’t you?’ Emily asked him.

‘I’m not scared of anyone’ Rock snapped. Emily didn’t believe him in the slightest. But it didn’t matter. He had evidence of the apparently fake wedding and he would pull the trigger if he had to, Emily was sure. She needed a second to think. None of this was right and honestly, she didn’t think there was anything she could say that would make Ruby go for his little offer. Allow Rock to blackmail her? Rock was right. Ruby would probably upload the video herself.

But if Emily didn’t at least try to see what could be done, Ruby’s career was about to be… Actually, Emily didn’t know if Rock was exaggerating about it being blown to smithereens. She didn’t know enough about this town to really understand its complex machinations. But the movie, yes, she would probably lose that. Barry would find out they’d been mugging him off this entire time and it wouldn’t matter how talented she was, or how cheap. Barry would put an X next to her name. Emily didn’t want that. Denise thought she was the only one looking out for Ruby’s future, but she was wrong. If this was what Ruby wanted, Emily wanted it for her too. Even if she never saw a penny of the promised payday, she’d do whatever she could.

Which meant, ughhh…

‘OK, Rock. Fine. Let me speak to her.’

‘Good girl’ Rock said. Emily nearly slapped him. Instead, she went to the bar where she promptly necked a gin and tonic. And then a second. She needed a minute to get her head together. She couldn’t understand how she’d gotten here. In Los Angeles, in the thick of lies and deceit. She was so far from home, she might as well have been standing at the bottom of the ocean. Her brother had been right. This place did have a seedy underbelly.

And she’d never needed to be here. Because the certificate was fake. If she’d looked a little closer at it, maybe she’d have figured that out and maybe she’d never have come here and taken this deal and gotten herself wrapped up in all this and she’d never have spent time with Ruby and let all these pointless feelings grow, never have slept with her, never have fallen for her… None of it needed to happen.

But it had.

‘One more gin and tonic, please’ she said to the barwoman and as she was handed the drink, Ruby appeared at her elbow. ‘Hi. I’ve had enough of this party. Wanna get out of here?’

‘What? Did you already do whatever it was your mum wanted you to do here?’

‘Kiss ass? Nope. Done with that. Look, the thing is, I think we need to talk…’

‘Yes, we do’ Emily interrupted. ‘We’ve got a bit of a problem.’ She dragged Ruby out of the room, into a marbled bathroom.

‘What’s going on?’ Ruby asked.

‘Two things. Rock knows that we didn’t meet before Vegas.’

Ruby stopped dead. ‘How the fuck does he know that?’

‘He had us investigated.’

‘He did fucking what?!’ Ruby hissed.

‘Wait, there’s something else. He told me something I didn’t… That we didn’t realise. The certificate, the wedding… They weren’t real.’

Ruby shook her head. ‘Bullshit.’

‘Seriously, I’ve seen a video. I mean, apparently there was a ceremony and everything, but none of it was legally binding. It was just a novelty thing.’

‘We’re not… really… married?’ Ruby said slowly. ‘So why the hell did I post that we were?’

‘I dunno. Maybe you actually thought we were? You were pretty smashed. We both were.’

Ruby scratched her head, thrown for a loop. Emily sympathised. The whole thing was mind boggling. ‘So does this make things more complicated? Or simpler?’ Ruby asked.

‘That depends’ Emily told her.

‘On what?’

‘On if you still want that part.’

‘No’ Ruby said firmly. ‘I’m sick of this circus. I’m not jumping through any more hoops.’

Emily, despite the situation, began to smile. ‘According to Rock, you don’t have to. He says you got it.’

Ruby laughed, unimpressed by the news. ‘How the hell would he know?’ she asked cynically.

‘He knows someone who knows someone. He seemed pretty sure. That’s why he did this. He knows you’re a sure thing. He wants to cling to your coattails’ Emily said, unable to keep the disgust out of her voice.

Ruby looked off into the distance, a faraway look in her eyes. ‘Really? I got it?’

Emily nodded happily, watching pleasure spread through Ruby’s features. It was a big deal. A major franchise, hers to lose. Even in the midst of the Rock nonsense and the wedding revelation, anyone would have felt good. Emily just wished she could take a moment to enjoy the victory. But Rock waited, the wanker. ‘So here’s the thing. Rock says he’s happy to forget what he knows if you get him a role.’

Ruby’s mood shifted again, back to reality. ‘Pfft. I haven’t even officially been told I’m getting it. I can’t exactly make demands like that.’

‘He thinks Denise can get it included in your, what is it, rider? Maybe drop your fee if that’s what it would take.’

‘He’s got it all worked out, hasn’t he?’ Ruby said to herself. She turned her attention back to Emily. ‘What do you think I should do?’

‘Me?’

‘I’m not talking to the wall’ Ruby told her with a small smile.

Emily was taken aback. Why did Ruby care what she thought? ‘You want it, don’t you?’

Ruby didn’t say anything.

‘Well, it’s yours. And I think you deserve it’ Emily said earnestly. She didn’t care if she was showing her hand. She just wanted to say something honest to Ruby, something unguarded. This might be her only chance. Because their deal was done. The finish line was in sight. Their time was almost up.

‘You do?’ Ruby asked.

‘Yes. I’ve been watching your show…’

‘Oh, Christ’ Ruby said with an eye roll.

‘Yes, I know, it’s… It’s not great. But you are.’

Ruby looked embarrassed. ‘Emily, I don’t need you to tell me that.’

‘I’m telling you the truth’ Emily said quietly. ‘You’re gonna be huge one day, probably one day very soon. That’s why Rock is trying to attach himself to you, that’s why your mum pushes way too hard. Because he knows. So does she. And so do I. It’s obvious from watching ten minutes of that godawful show. Because if you can shine out of that? You can shine anywhere. And that’s rare. You’re a star, Ruby. It’s that simple’ Emily finished, trying to hold her nerve. She’d never gushed like this at Ruby, never just told the plain truth: that Ruby amazed her.

‘That’s what you think?’ Ruby asked, her eyes moist.

‘Yes’ Emily said, holding her gaze. ‘I do.’

Ruby licked her lips. ‘Right. I know what to do.’

Twenty-Eight

‘Right. I know what to do’ Ruby breathed. ‘I’m gonna go talk to Barry.’

‘I guess you should’ Emily agreed and touched her lightly on the arm. ‘Remember, it’s already yours.’

Ruby nodded. ‘You wanna come with me?’

Emily smiled. ‘Of course. Oh, but what should we do about Rock?’

‘You don’t need to worry about him. He’s not your problem. He’s mine. I’ll deal with him’ Ruby told her firmly.

Emily looked nervous but said, ‘Whatever you say.’ She held out a hand. ‘I guess we should present a united front.’

Ruby slipped her hand into Emily’s and gave it a little squeeze. Emily squeezed back and Ruby felt stronger, able to put one foot in front of the other to do what she needed to do.

They walked out of the bathroom, hand in hand, across the room to where Barry stood. Marisa was still there, a middle-aged guy standing next to her with a big grin on his face. Ruby surmised he was probably her agent. Marisa looked less happy than him, her small smile was somehow pained, and Ruby greeted her first. ‘Hello, I’m Ruby. I’m such a fan of yours, I just wanted to tell you that.’

Marisa smiled properly and put a hand out. ‘That’s very kind. Thank you.’

Ruby shook it, pleased to get a chance to look Marisa in the eye and tell her that she admired her. Only then did she turn to Barry. ‘Hi.’

‘Hello, Miss Knight. Great to see you.’

‘Is it?’

‘It is’ Barry said, with a wink that confirmed what Rock had already blabbed about. She had it.

‘I need to talk to you about something’ Ruby told him, feeling wobbly on her legs. ‘I need to tell you something important.’

‘OK…’ Barry said and glanced around at the assembled circle of onlookers. ‘You wanna do it in private?’

‘Sure’ Ruby said, and Barry swept her across the room to a quiet corner. Ruby grabbed Emily’s hand. She needed her. Emily looked uncertain but came anyway.

In the quiet corner, Barry turned to Ruby with purpose. ‘I’m guessing you wanna talk about the movie? Look, there’s no need to-’

‘Barry, I don’t wanna interrupt you but there’s something I need to tell you before we get into anything else.’ She pointed across the room at Rock, who was talking to a bored looking beauty dressed in clothing so on trend it looked like it had come from a designer’s machine not ten minutes ago. ‘You see that guy? He’s my co-star and I’ll be honest, we hate each other.’

Barry looked with interest. Rock noticed himself being pointed at and saw Barry look at him. He tried, quite unsuccessfully, to put his focus back on his date.

‘Oh, that’s… That’s a shame’ Barry said, a little confused. Emily shot her a surprised look. But Ruby was just getting warmed up. ‘So he heard about, you know, this whole thing and he decided he wanted a role, thought maybe I was his in. So you know what he did? He hired someone to look into me, for blackmail material.’

Barry’s mouth fell open. ‘Oh, he did, did he?’ He looked across at Rock. Rock, who was attempting to throw an ingratiating smile to Barry - misunderstanding what was happening - stopped dead when he saw the expression on Barry’s face. He looked back to his date who said something Ruby lip-read as, ‘What’s wrong with your face?’ Ruby had to smile despite the circumstances. Rock was sweating. It was a beautiful thing. ‘Yeah. He did. But the thing is, Barry, he found something’ Ruby said.

Barry’s head whipped away from Rock, to Ruby. ‘What did he find?’ he asked seriously.

Ruby took a deep breath. ‘That me and Emily aren’t really married.’

‘Oh Christ’ Ruby heard Emily mutter. But Ruby wasn’t close to done. ‘I mean, we thought we were. We got pretty drunk and had some kind of ceremony. But we just found out it was fake.’

‘Oh’ Barry responded and then shrugged. ‘Well, that’s... I mean, we could probably spin that alright. It might not be a problem. I’d have to talk to my people but-’

Ruby shook her head. ‘There’s more. We only met recently. The night we got pretend married.’

Barry frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘I see. So that story you told me about the airplane…’

‘Bullshit. I lied. I’m sorry. This whole thing has been a ploy for publicity, so you’d see me as bankable, someone who had pull, mass appeal. Plus, I wanted you to see me as a capable adult who could make your movie a success. But I’m a shit show, clearly.’

Barry rubbed his chin. ‘You know I was going to give you the movie, don’t you?’

‘I know you were, yes.’

‘But I gotta be honest, Ruby. This shakes my faith in you. Deeply. I need a strong back to carry this movie, this franchise. This makes you look a lot less strong.’

‘Yeah, I know’ Ruby sighed. ‘But you don’t need to worry. I don’t want the part.

Barry’s eyebrows shot up. So did Emily’s.

‘I’ve given it some thought, and everything you promised me would happen if I got this movie… I don’t want any of it. I want to live more quietly than that. I just do’ Ruby continued. ‘You should give it to Marisa. I know she’s a lot more expensive. But in this case, you’d get what you pay for.’

Barry was confounded. ‘So if you don’t want the part, why tell me any of this?’

‘I just wanted to tell you the truth. Seemed right.’

Barry bit the inside of his cheek and glanced around the room. He spotted Denise in another corner, talking to a producer while pretending not to watch them. ‘Your mother put you up to all this, didn’t she?’

Ruby didn’t answer that, but Barry nodded. ‘That woman is one of the biggest sharks I’ve ever met. And that’s saying something.’

Ruby laughed, feeling a weight slip off her shoulders. ‘She’s a go-getter, alright.’

‘That’s one word for it’ Barry said. ‘Well, I appreciate you being straight with me. You saved me some trouble. Because I would never hire that talentless pretty boy over there’ he said, nodding over his shoulder to where Rock looked pretty worried now. His date looked peeved that she couldn’t get his attention. ‘He couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag’ Barry noted.

‘You’re right on that’ Ruby agreed.

‘So does this mean he’s going to expose all this?’ Barry said, looking between Emily and Ruby.

‘We’ll have to see.’

‘I’d avoid that, if I were you. You might have some PR trouble from it.’

‘I don’t really care about that. But it’s not fair to Emily’ Ruby said.

‘Don’t worry about me’ Emily said, surprised.

‘I am, actually’ she told Emily. ‘You agreed to be married to me. You didn’t agree to be part of some stupid scandal. But I’ll talk to him. Maybe we can make some other deal’ Ruby tried to assure her. She wasn’t certain what she was going to do about Rock, but she had some ideas. She could offer to quit the show in exchange for a promise never to leak. That would probably satisfy him. She hated to let him win like that, but Ruby owed Emily, big. Talking to Emily recently had cleared her head, allowed her to figure out she didn’t want to do things her mom’s way anymore. And the belief Emily had displayed in her tonight? That had given Ruby the strength to make a real decision about who she wanted to be. That person wasn’t someone who snaked their way up the ladder doing dirty deals. Nor was that person famous. It was a relief to finally say goodbye to mega-stardom. It wasn’t for her. She just wanted to do what she did and do it well. That was all. She didn’t need the world to see. As long as she could get hired occasionally, she’d be alright.

Emily had given her so much. But what Ruby had just done had ensured she would not get her big payment. She was sorry for that, she really was. The least Ruby could do was protect her from any further ugliness.

But apparently, there was no need. Because Barry said, ‘Wait there.’ And he walked over to Rock. Rock slapped a big grin on his face and stuck his hand out, but Barry didn’t take it. He leaned over and muttered some things in Rock’s ear. Ruby couldn’t hear anything being said, but Rock’s face looked terror-struck. He started nodding vigorously. Barry gave him a not-very-friendly slap on the back and walked back to Ruby and Emily. ‘Done.’

‘What did you say to him?’ Emily gaped.

‘Told him to delete everything he had on you or I’d blacklist him in the industry. He’d never work again.’

‘You’d really do that?’ Ruby exclaimed.

‘I don’t actually like to operate that way. This industry needs to be done with that kind of shit. But he doesn’t know that’ Barry said, turning to give Rock a little wave. Ruby and Emily joined in, waving and smiling. Rock put down his drink and almost ran out. He actually forgot his date, who went running after him, enraged. ‘What the fuck? Nobody gives me an Irish Goodbye!’ she shouted across the room. Ruby watched, delighted.

‘Well, best of luck, Ruby’ Barry said warmly. ‘Whatever you decide to do, I think you’re gonna be successful.’

‘Thanks Barry. Good luck with the franchise.’

They shook hands and Barry walked across the room, back to Marisa.

When he was gone, Ruby looked at Emily. ‘I’m sorry. I know this wasn’t the deal…’

But Emily was beaming. ‘I don’t care about that.’

‘You don’t?’

‘No. I’m just proud of you’ Emily said and gave the longest sigh. ‘I think you made the right decision.’

Ruby was overwhelmed by Emily’s selflessness. She knew there would never be another girl like this in her life. Ever. She had to tell her how she felt. She was prepared for the humiliation of Emily telling her she just wanted to be friends or whatever else Emily might want to say to ease herself out of an awkward situation. Because Ruby needed to tell her what she meant to her. ‘Emily…’

A hand landed on her arm, a rough one. ‘Ruby Knight, you better explain yourself.’ Denise was dragging her out of the party!

Twenty-Nine

Emily watched, along with half the guests at the party, as Ruby was pulled through the room by her mother like a naughty ten-year-old. She wasn’t sure what to do. Denise had clearly gotten wind of the recent developments regarding Ruby’s career. She was more than likely going to go nuclear. Emily wasn’t sure if Ruby would want her there for that. It had been so sweet the way she’d wanted Emily with her when she told Barry the truth. She’d felt important to Ruby for a moment. She would cherish that when she was gone.

And she’d meant what she’d said to Ruby. She was so proud of her. A lot of people would never have given up what Ruby had. It was the world on a plate. It took strength to walk away from it all.

But there was about to be some consequences, in the form of Denise. Emily made the decision to stay out of it. If Ruby had proved one thing tonight, it was that she could handle a hard conversation. So Emily left them to it, feeling awkward in the middle of a collection of strangers.

Fifteen minutes later, Denise and Ruby walked back in. They both looked rather red in the face. ‘OK, Emily’ Denise said angrily, no longer caring who saw or heard anything. ‘That’s a wrap on you. Thanks for nothing.’

‘Don’t blame her, Mom’ Ruby hissed.

They all walked out together and the three got in Denise’s car, Emily and Ruby in the back. Denise turned from the driver’s seat to look at her daughter. ‘Ruby, what are you doing? You drove here.’

Ruby looked briefly flummoxed. ‘I’m coming with you. I’m not letting you scream at Emily too tonight.’

‘Get the hell out of my car’ Denise instructed.

‘Mom…’ Ruby began, and Emily could see she was revving up for round two. She put her hand on Ruby’s. ‘It’s alright’ she assured her. Ruby stopped and looked at her. And then down at the hand. Emily realised what she’d done and snatched her hand back. There was not a single reason in the world she was supposed to touch Ruby anymore. ‘I can handle her’ she said quickly, with a nod to Denise.

‘You can’t handle shit, that’s pretty obvious’ Denise said to Emily over her shoulder and then to Ruby, ‘Get out of the car.’

‘Where are you taking her?’ Ruby demanded.

‘To my place, to get her stuff’ Denise answered.

‘And then?’ Ruby pressed.

‘Where do you think? The airport.’

Ruby cast a stricken look at Emily. ‘Just like that?’

Emily looked back at Ruby, feeling so much. She’d thought she had more time. She didn’t know what she would have done with it, but still, she wished for just a little more.

But time and Denise waited for no man. ‘Yep. Say your goodbyes. I’m gonna book a flight’ she said and got her phone out.

‘You can’t even wait ‘til tomorrow?’ Ruby asked. ‘What’s the rush?’

‘No rush and no reason to delay either’ Denise said. ‘I’m serious, Ruby. Say goodbye.’ She turned back to the front.

Ruby turned to her and she said. ‘Emily.’

‘Ruby’ Emily said back. And they looked at each other for a few silent, dense seconds. Emily almost lost her head in that moment and said it all. But what was the point? It was what it was. And the thought of Denise laughing at her from the front while she tried to bare her soul to Ruby was sickening. Better to leave with her dignity. It was all she had left.

‘OK, I’ve got a flight leaving in three hours’ Denise told the car. ‘Should be just enough time. I’ll come by yours after I drop her off, OK, Ruby? And then we can finish our little talk.’

Ruby shot her mother a look and then she leaned over, gave Emily a small, soft kiss on the cheek and said, ‘I… Take care of yourself.’ And she got out of the car.

Emily looked out of the window, trying to watch Ruby for every last second she could. But soon enough, Ruby’s car was dropped off by a valet. She climbed in and drove off quickly. Emily supposed that was best. It had been kind of her to try and provide a buffer for her and Denise. But what did Emily care what Denise said anymore? What could hurt her more than leaving Ruby?

But Denise said nothing on the drive home. It wasn’t until she pulled up in front of her house that she merely uttered, ‘Get your shit. I’ll wait.’

Emily went indoors and up to her room where she stuffed her things back into her bag and left without a backwards glance. This place meant nothing to her. Not like Ruby’s flat. That was where her heart had been.

She got back in the car and they went to the airport. As Denise pulled into the drop-off zone at LAX she said, ‘I’ve emailed you a ticket. I’m afraid I couldn’t get you a direct flight. You’ve got a change at JFK.’

‘It was a cheaper flight, wasn’t it?’ Emily asked cynically.

‘You got me’ Denise said with a sour smile into the rear-view mirror. She took something out of her glove box, a slip of paper. ‘Here’s what we agreed. Could have been a lot more’ she said bitterly.

Emily took the cheque. ‘Yes. But your daughter would be miserable.’

Denise snorted. ‘So high and mighty. The girl who married a stranger, no, scratch that, thought she married a stranger because she was too drunk to tell the difference, as it turned out.’

‘Yeah. It wasn’t my proudest moment’ Emily admitted to Denise. ‘But of all the mistakes I’ve made lately, I don’t know, I think that one was the smallest.’

‘And what was the biggest, pray tell?’

‘Letting you talk me into making her a liar. She’s not a liar, Denise. You should know that about her. She’s special. And not just in the way that makes money for you. You’re lucky to have her in your life’ Emily said and got out of the car. Before she could close the door, she took the cheque, ripped it in two and threw the pieces in the backseat.

‘Classy!’ Denise yelled as Emily slammed the door shut and headed for the entrance. She heard Denise’s car rev off angrily and took a small measure of comfort from the fact that at least she’d never have to see that bloody woman again. It wasn’t much compensation for never seeing Ruby again, but she supposed she could always Google her now and again, see what she was up to and how she flourished over the years. It wasn’t enough. But it was all she had.

Thirty

Ruby was just about wearing a hole in her rug, pacing back and forth, waiting for her mother. She’d had it, she really had. If Denise thought she was gonna read her the riot act for the second time in a night, she had another thing coming. And tonight, of all nights? After she’d had to say that horrible, rushed goodbye to Emily? She was in just about the worst mood of her life.

She knew she could have said screw it and gone for it with Emily. Told her the truth. She’d been going to. But sat in that backseat, her mother in the front, she had a change of heart. So Emily had said some sweet things to her? So they’d slept together once? So they’d gotten fake married? It didn’t give her the right to lay all her stupid feelings on Emily before she was about to get on a transatlantic flight. It was selfish to tell her. The right thing was to leave Emily the fuck alone from now until the end of time, stop screwing her life up at last. That was the least she owed her.

The doorbell went and Ruby ran to the door and flung it open. Her mother stood there, hands on her hips, ready to fight. But as Ruby thought of all the things she could say, she realised she didn’t have the strength to say any of them.

And then something absurd happened. Ruby burst into tears. She ran away from the door, into her bedroom, trying to hide. A moment later, her mother walked in. ‘Well, what the hell is this all about?’ she asked.

‘Mom, get out, would you? Please?’ she asked. She wasn’t even angry at Denise anymore. She was angry at a world that would allow the thing you wanted to dance at the reach of your fingertips, only to disappear when you tried to touch it. Ruby rolled over and pressed her face into her pillow and waited for her bedroom door to close behind Denise.

But the door never closed. And then there was a pressure on the bed, a person sitting down. ‘Mom, chew me out later, OK?’ Ruby said from the pillow, feeling like she was back in puberty.

‘I don’t understand what you could possibly be this upset about’ Denise said. But she said it quieter than her usual brash yelling. ‘You threw that movie away. No one else. You.’

Ruby sat up and looked at her mother. ‘It’s not the movie. How many times do I have to tell you I didn’t want it!’ Ruby cried.

Denise rolled her eyes. ‘So it’s the girl.’ She shook her head. ‘I knew it. I knew something like this was gonna happen. But not to you, Ruby. I thought you knew better. Don’t you know a loser when you see one?’

‘Don’t talk about her like that’ Ruby snapped. ‘You don’t know her.’

‘I know the type. She’s just like your father…’

Ruby’s jaw clenched. They never discussed Ruby’s dad. He was on a list of forbidden topics, banned for years. But they were apparently in some sort of twilight zone because Denise was suddenly ready to talk about him. Or more accurately, criticize him. Ruby wasn’t having it. ‘Don’t talk about him either.’

‘Why not? I raised you singlehanded. Gave you everything. If I wanna complain about that lazy sack of shit, I’ve earned the right.’

Ruby was stunned. ‘He wasn’t lazy, Mom.’

‘Then why wouldn’t he get off his ass?’

‘He was depressed’ Ruby told her firmly.

‘Sure, right. Depressed’ Denise said pissily.

‘You know he was. I realise that probably wasn’t what you thought you were marrying, but that’s not his fault’ Ruby admonished. ‘He’s doing a lot better these days, if you ever wondered. He found some good drugs.’

Denise sniffed. ‘Good for him. But you should know that he was the reason you nearly didn’t get acting lessons.’

Ruby rolled her eyes. ‘No, he wasn’t. I told him I didn’t want to do it.’

Denise’s eyes nearly came out of the sockets. ‘But it was your idea!’

‘It was your idea. You saw me in the school play and that was it. You decided my whole life. He was trying to protect me and spare your feelings. Why couldn’t you see that?’

‘That’s not what happened’ Denise barked.

‘You have a real talent for re-writing a story. You missed your calling as a script doctor’ Ruby said. She thought she was about to get screamed at.

But Denise looked away for moment, lost in her own memories. ‘Shit. You’re right’ Denise muttered. Ruby didn’t think she’d ever heard her mother say that. To anyone. But there were more surprises coming. ‘Am I a monster?’ Denise asked.

Ruby considered being kind. But she thought the kindest thing would be the truth. ‘A little’ Ruby admitted. ‘Sorry. Barry said you were the biggest shark he’s ever met.’

‘Barry Curtis said that?’ Denise asked, stunned.

‘Yup.’

‘Wow’ Denise breathed. She thought about that for a moment and then shrugged, over her revelation at lightning speed. ‘Ahh, fuck it. I’m a shark. There’s worse things to be.’

Ruby braced herself and plunged on. ‘The thing is though… I don’t think you can be my shark anymore.’

Denise looked angry, but not very surprised. ‘You’re firing your own mother?’

Ruby hadn’t known she was going to do this until it was coming out of her mouth. But it was long overdue. ‘Look at it this way, I’m holding you back. You could be managing someone who really needs you, someone who wants to go to the top and make you millions of dollars in the process. Throw a stone in this town, you’ll find someone like that. But it’s not going to be me.’

Denise thought about it and Ruby could see she was somewhat buoyed. ‘You really didn’t want to act?’ she asked.

‘Not then, no’ Ruby told her firmly. ‘I like it now though. Even kind of love it’ she admitted. ‘Only… I think I need to do better stuff.’

‘You’re quitting the show?’ Denise cried, aghast.

Ruby laughed. ‘God, no. That would be stupid, I still have bills to pay and it’s a regular pay check. You taught me the value of a dollar. I’ll always be grateful for that. But I’m gonna choose better projects for hiatus. Stuff like Marisa Benson does.’

Denise rolled her eyes. ‘Well, best of luck with that.’

Ruby took a deep breath and spoke from the calmest place she could find. ‘I’m gonna pretend you meant that sincerely. That way, just for once, we can go out on a better note. I don’t wanna keep being angry with you. It’s a waste of both our energies.’

Denise’s mouth went very tight and Ruby expected more snark. But then Denise shook herself, gave a half laugh and said, ‘Yeah. Good plan.’ She stood and went to leave. At the door, she sighed to herself and with enormous resentment turned back and said. ‘I think you’re a dummy.’

‘Thanks’ Ruby said. They’d almost made it to a nice moment. But hey, Denise was Denise.

However, Denise wasn’t quite Denise because then she added, ‘No, I really do. That girl… I don’t think she’s right for you at all. You know she ripped that check up just to spite me? Have you ever heard of anything so smug in your life?’ Denise looked horrified at the thought. But then her expression softened, just a fraction. ‘But if you want her… You should go get her.’

Ruby nearly fell off the bed. ‘What?’

‘I lied. It was my idea to have her stay at mine. I was trying to help you and I still say I’m right about that’ Denise said firmly. ‘But I’ve failed. Because you went and fell for her anyway, didn’t you?’

Ruby’s head was spun out. ‘Why would you lie? And why take her to your place at all if she didn’t ask?’

Denise gave an almighty shrug. ‘Because she told me she had feelings for you.’

Ruby stood slowly from the bed, trance-like. ‘She told you what?’

‘Yeah. She thinks she’s in love with you’ Denise said with a shake of her head.’

Ruby took two steps forward and then stopped. And then she began to move again, running at her mother, who flinched as though she thought she was about to be struck. But Ruby grabbed her face and planted a smacker on her cheek. ‘Thank you!’

Denise wiped her cheek, annoyed. ‘Her flight takes off soon. Flight 345, connecting at JFK. You better hurry.’

Ruby ran from the apartment. She left the front door wide open.

***

Ruby was driving down the highway, trying not to run herself off the road. She was really doing it. She was gonna run through the airport to reach her true love, movie style. She would figure out what to say when she saw Emily in person. But it didn’t matter what she said. Emily loved her too. Everything was going to be alright.

At the airport, she ran to a free desk and said, ‘Hey, has flight 345 gone yet?’

The woman looked at her screen for a moment. And then looked up cheerily and said, ‘It sure has!’

Ruby’s face fell, landing somewhere near her knees. ‘What?’

‘It left ten minutes ago’ the chipper lady informed her.

Ruby turned from the desk, devastated. She wanted to tell Emily everything, how she felt, what she meant to her. Because she could. It wasn’t selfish anymore. Emily loved her too. But she was on her way home. Ruby could call her when she landed, she supposed. But she didn’t know if she could wait that long.

Thirty-One

Emily was sat in the departure lounge. Her flight left soon. Three sodding hours she’d had to sit waiting for the connecting flight. Just enough time to feel like forever, yet not enough time to leave the airport and see anything of New York. Denise had really excelled herself with this one.

The announcer called boarding on her flight and she tossed aside her magazine, some stupid celebrity thing she’d found on the seat. As it flopped open, there was a small picture in the top right-hand corner, easy to miss. It was Ruby. And her. Her face was basically a tiny, indistinct blob next to Ruby’s easy beauty. The words underneath mentioned Ruby, her show and her new marital status to some Brit known only as Emily. It then went on to make up some bollocks about them feeding each other food. And then it described how in love they both were. ‘Well, half right’ Emily thought. But she ripped the picture out anyway and slipped it into her purse. A memento of these crazy few weeks, maybe the only one she’d ever have. And it had to be said, Ruby did look great.

Emily boarded the plane, a seat in economy, of course. Not even economy plus. That cheap arsehole. She was squeezed in on a window seat, the chair next to her quickly occupied by an enormous guy in a Doctor Who t-shirt that was about two sizes too small. Emily’s legs were already cramping as the flight taxied down the runaway and lifted jaggedly.

Once in the air, Ruby put her headphones in. She realised just how exhausted she was. It was two in the morning, California time. That was ten in the morning at home. She didn’t know where her circadian rhythm was anymore. Possibly somewhere around China. She wondered what Ruby was doing right now. Probably asleep. Which is what she should try to do. Once she got to London, she had to make her way to Oxford, that would be another few hours. The thought was tiring, and she soon nodded off.

She immediately began to dream. She was walking towards something in a sun-drenched desert, she didn’t know what it was, but she knew she had to find it. Then she heard it, the thing she needed, its voice. The voice kept talking to her, a soothing tone, saying her name, drawing her through the bare landscape. She felt as though she could reach out and touch it…

‘Emily.’

Emily woke and wiped a little bit of drool off of her chin. She turned sleepily in her seat. ‘Mmm?’ she asked, her bleary eyes clearing. The voice spoke again. ‘Emily.’ Emily realised she was looking at Ruby, sitting in the seat next to her, still in her party dress. ‘Ruby!’ she yelled.

‘Hi’ Ruby said sheepishly.

Emily stared at Ruby, awe-struck. Was she still dreaming? She gave herself a little pinch on the arm. ‘Ow!’ she screamed.

‘What did you do that for?’ Ruby asked, amused.

‘That’s what people in crap books do to see if they’re dreaming’ Emily explained.

‘What were the results of the test?’ Ruby asked, intrigued.

‘You’re actually here’ Emily said wondrously.

‘That’s right’ Ruby smiled.

‘But how the hell did you get on this plane? You should still be in LA!’

‘I tried to catch you before you got the flight from LAX, but I missed it. I knew you were connecting at JFK so I just got a flight direct to New York and jumped on this one with about a minute to spare. I can’t believe I still had my passport in the trunk of my car from my last trip, or I would have only got as far as NYC. Lucky eh? I guess it was meant to be.’

‘But you weren’t sitting here!?’

‘No, I was about fifteen rows down, you’d already boarded. Poked my head around about ten minutes ago and I saw you fast asleep. So I asked your seat mate if he’d switch. He wasn’t sure but then I gave him three hundred and fifty-eight bucks and that swung it’ Ruby explained shyly.

‘Three hundred and fifty-eight, exactly?’ Emily said, astounded.

‘All I had on me’ Ruby said with a smile and a shrug.

Emily was knocked sideways. The fantasy, it was happening. She could barely comprehend it. ‘But why?’

Ruby took a deep breath. ‘Because you owe me a kiss.’

Emily smiled slowly. ‘The third kiss.’

‘Yes.’

Emily bit her lip. She was beginning to see that this was no fantasy. It was really happening. ‘But I gave your mother her money back. So I don’t actually owe you a thing’ Emily said coyly.

‘Yeah, I heard about that’ Ruby said, her head cocked. ‘Ripped the check up. All pretty dramatic from the sound of it.’ Ruby paused. ‘So I suppose when you look at it like that…’

‘You owe me the kiss’ Emily finished.

Ruby nodded. ‘I guess so.’

‘Actually, since we kissed twice, you’re two in arrears’ Emily said happily.

‘Two kisses? Well, I guess that’s fair. But you should know that you’ve only got the length of this flight to collect. They expire at wheels down.’

Emily raised an eyebrow. ‘That’s a short deadline. Pressure’s on.’

Ruby put her hands up. ‘What can I tell you? The rules are the rules.’

Emily looked at Ruby, deep into her green eyes. For the first time, it felt alright to get lost in them. She leaned in and Ruby leaned too…

But then Emily froze. ‘Wait.’

Ruby froze too. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I know we always talk to each other like this, everything a game, a negotiation. But just for a minute, I need to know-’

‘I’m in love with you’ Ruby said plainly. ‘I wanna tell you that now. I need to. I think I loved you a little the night we met. But I was scared, that’s why I left. That was the worst mistake of my life. And then everything got even more fucked up and I got even more scared. I’m sorry. I should have been braver.’

Emily’s heart was in her mouth. Ruby loved her. Emily leant in and grabbed hold of Ruby, pulling her close, touching her lips softly to Ruby’s, unable to stop herself smiling even as she kissed her. There was no layer of deceit, trickery. No money. This was a true and honest kiss, the only thing Emily wanted. She felt Ruby’s hands reach around her body and they pulled as close as they could through the seat divider. Emily felt herself tumbling deep into the kiss, not able to get close enough to Ruby. She doubted she ever would.

And then there was a cough. Emily and Ruby snapped apart to see a flight attendant standing over them. ‘Uh, hi. This is a public place. You’re gonna have to stop that.’

Emily looked at Ruby and Ruby looked back and they burst out laughing. Emily looked back at the attendant. ‘I’m so sorry. I promise I don’t usually do things like that in public. It’s just… We both just realised we’re in love.’

Ruby grinned at Emily. ‘Yeah, we did.’

‘That’s cute. Congratulations’ the attendant said. ‘But keep the kissing a little less R-Rated, could you?’ She walked off as a bing beckoned her away.

Once she was gone, Ruby and Emily leaned back in their chairs, relaxed, staring at each other. Just happy to be together.

‘So I guess that second kiss will have to expire. Oh well’ Emily beamed. ‘I suppose there’ll be more on the ground. Kisses that don’t require legal notarisation.’

‘I hope so’ Ruby said and then she glanced up the aisle, toward the back. At the bathroom. ‘Or… How would you feel about joining the mile-high club?’

Emily gasped. ‘How dare you. I’m a lady!’ She looked to the toilet, where there was a red light above. ‘And anyway, it’s occupied.’

The light went green and a woman came out.

‘Still a lady now?’ Ruby asked.

Emily stood quickly. ‘Not for the next ten minutes. Come on!’

‘Ten?’

‘It’s an airplane bathroom. People are gonna get angry if we’re in there any longer.’

‘Alright. But can we at least make it twelve?’ Ruby asked as they dashed up the aisle.

‘Agreed’ Emily said as they squeezed in together, locking the door behind them.

Thirty-Two

Exactly one year after a fake wedding between two drunk people took place, in the exact same chapel, a real one happened. Both brides were stone cold sober.

In attendance were only two guests, Denise and Emily’s brother, Phil. They were an odd pair, but they were the only people permitted to the wedding. Phil was allowed because he had given his sister major time off work to go back and forth across the Atlantic, visiting her girlfriend. Denise was allowed because she said she was.

The two brides walked up the aisle hand in hand, where the registrar, the same guy from the last wedding, waited. The ceremony took ten minutes and when it was over, Ruby and Emily kissed each other lightly but sensually.

After that they threw a bouquet together. Denise caught it. ‘I suppose you think that’s funny’ Denise said. She glanced at Phil, who said, ‘Don’t look at me. I’m taken.’ Denise glared at him. ‘Not in your wildest dreams.’ Phil looked terrified.

Emily laughed at her new mother-in-law. She had to. She was shackled to the woman for the rest of her life. It was the price of loving Ruby. But it didn’t take a thing away from what it meant to be here today, doing this for real. Not even a bit. Because she was married to the love of her life. Again.

It had been a funny year, starting with getting dumped by someone who wasn’t good enough for her in the first place. But Emily had learned one thing in all this madness. Life could turn around fast, if you only had the confidence to get in the driver’s seat and put your foot down.

***

‘So what’s the plan with living arrangements?’ Phil asked later, over drinks with Emily, Ruby and Denise.

Ruby looked anxiously at her mother. ‘I’m, er… I’m moving to the UK.’

Denise said, ‘What? The hell you are!’

‘I’ll be back over all the time for work’ Ruby assured her mother. ‘But I never really liked LA, anyway. I think Oxford is more my speed. And honestly, I think an ocean between us might not be the worst thing.’

‘Nice, Ruby. After I paid for your wedding.’

‘It cost three hundred dollars’ Ruby reminded her.

‘Which I paid’ Denise said. Ruby held her breath to see what her mother was going to say next. But she simply sighed and said. ‘You know what? You never listen to me so I’m not going to fight it. What would be the point?’

Ruby smiled fondly at her mother. For Denise, a comment like that could be considered progress. ‘Thanks, mom.’

Denise rounded on Emily. ‘And you… This means you need to take care of her. You got that?’

‘She already is. She cooks for me all the time. I’ve gained five pounds’ Ruby interjected, happily.

‘That’s not what I mean’ Denise said. ‘Are you listening to me, Emily? Your job is not to keep her fat and happy. You gotta keep her on track. Momentum is everything.’

‘Yes, Mommy Dearest-In-Law’ Emily said with a grin. She was long past being scared of Denise. ‘

Denise rounded on Ruby. ‘Did you tell her to say that?’

‘Funnily enough, she doesn’t need coaching to talk. She just opens her mouth and stuff comes out, completely unprompted. It’s one of the things I love about her’ she said, sliding an arm around her new wife. Emily leaned in, putting her own arm around Ruby’s neck, teaming up against Denise. ‘You better get used to it Denise. We’re family now.’

‘Christ’ Denise said and took a big pull on her whisky. And then she seemed to re-invigorate. ‘Ruby, I hope you don’t think getting married means you can start slacking off. Because that froofy indie shoots in two weeks. You need to be on point.’

‘Firstly, you’re not my manager anymore so if I want to slack off, you can’t say a word. Second, I wouldn’t anyway. Because that ‘froofy indie’ has a great script.’

‘I know I’m not your manager. I’m making a lot of money managing an action star who actually listens to me. I’m just saying, the show isn’t going to be paying the bills next year. You gotta be on it.’

‘I’m not worried’ Ruby told her mother. That was a lie. She was a little worried. The cancellation of the show and thus, the loss of a regular pay check was going to be tough. But she’d never have to see Rock again, and she’d never have to read any more of that show’s crappy lines. So she was nervous, but hopeful. Because she’d been working hard, choosing roles carefully for her time off, building a better IMDb list than she used to have, ready to launch herself as a serious actress the moment she wrapped the last episode of Wolfwater Cove. So the future awaited. Because Emily always told her that she was a star. Ruby couldn’t help but think she shone a little brighter for having Emily in her life.

Phil spoke up, a thing he basically feared to do in front of Denise. But he clearly had something to say. ‘Well, I’m glad you’re going to be around, Em. Because I really, really need to fire Josh.’

‘Please do. I’m gonna be around a lot more’ Emily told him. And then she smiled. ‘But one thing. We should be co-managers.’

‘Eh? Where did you get that idea?’

Ruby knew. From her. She’d been telling Emily for months that she was as qualified to call herself the manager of the family bookshop as Phil was. She didn’t give a damn what Emily’s parents said about it. If they couldn’t see how competent and smart she was, they were dummies. And her new wife wasn’t one.

‘Look, hear me out’ Emily went on. ‘I’ve been there nearly as long as you and I know way more about Russian literature and the romantics than you do. I just want to be on equal footing with you. Don’t you think that’s fair?’

Phil sniffed and looked at Ruby. ‘I don’t know what you’ve done to her but I’m not sure I like it.’

‘I just love and respect her’ Ruby shrugged. ‘The rest is all her.’

Phil rolled his eyes. ‘Americans’ he muttered. He turned to his sister. ‘Alright, go on then. Partners.’

Emily beamed and shook her brother’s hand.

‘So where’s the honeymoon?’ Phil asked.

Ruby and Emily looked at each other, trying not to laugh. ‘Here.’

‘You’re kidding, aren’t you?’ Denise said, looking around the casino. Nearby, a man in a mobility scooter fed a slot with quarters. ‘I know it’s some big romantic gesture to get married here. But a honeymoon? At least go to Hawaii for crying out loud.’

‘Mom, we’re not gonna come out of our hotel room so it doesn’t make a lot of difference where we are’ Ruby explained.

‘I didn’t need to hear that’ Denise said primly.

‘Neither did I’ concurred Phil.

‘Then I’d advise you to look away right now’ Ruby said.

‘Why?’ Denise and Phil asked in unison.

‘Because I owe her a kiss’ Ruby said, looking at her wife.

‘No, I think you’re one in front’ Emily informed her. ‘It’s me that owes you.’

‘You sure? Wasn’t the wedding one yours?’ Ruby asked in suspicion.

‘Nope. It was yours’ Emily assured her with a happy smile.

Denise and Phil looked at each other. ‘You know what this nonsense is about?’ Denise asked. Phil gave a look that indicated he hadn’t the slightest clue. When they looked at the newly married couple, they’d missed the chance to ask. Their attention was only for one another.

Ruby leant in and Emily slung her arms around her. No one else mattered. Not her mother, not Phil, not the people drinking nearby, not the casino full of gamblers, not anyone in LA.  Because she’d made an agreement, to love Emily forever. And she had to pay up. Starting right now.

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In the meantime, feel free to enjoy these other books by Natasha West

Hawke’s Prey

Hawke’s Game

Hawke’s Flight

The Plus One

Plus Two

Something for the Weekend

A Marriage of Connivance

Joined at the Hip

A Mistletoe Moment

Real Love

Waiting for the Punchline

Chase Me

Close Ups and Mess Ups

Meet You at the End of the World

By Any Other Name

Never the Bride

The Dropout

Only Ever You

The A to Z of Girlfriends